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Raph normally expects a quiet lair to return home to after his late nights out, but this evening, he abruptly bumps into a startling problem.
He flinched at the pools of salt liquid trickling down his brother's cheeks. He had made him cry . Not like he might accidentally do sometimes; tease him to the point of frustration and make him heat up. Then he'd feel guilty and laugh off his amusement and reassure him that he hadn't meant any harm, and offer him a good-natured bear hug - maybe even a slice of leftover pizza. But this time was different. He'd made his littlest brother cry bitter tears.
And he hadn't even meant it.
Mikey wipes away flooding tears. "Y-you promised-," he hiccups and his voice is strained and raspy. He cringes at the voice crack, anxiety welling up inside of him. Promised what? He made a lot of promises to his brothers that he tries his best to keep. As the oldest, it was his duty to keep them comforted and safe, so the best way he found was through promises. Pinkie swears, handshakes, bets, scouts' honor, you name it. It both reassured his siblings and protected them. 'Cause you can bet your ass he'll pull through, no matter what it takes. So it's no wonder the inside of his shell feels like a furnace as he studies his brother's broken expression in the doorway, as he had just come back from patrolling as R.A.P.H: Red Angel of Preventing Harm. Heh- guess I couldn't see this one coming from a mile away though, and this one's coming from home base! He thinks to himself mockingly.
“Whoa, whoa, slow down there Mikester, let’s take a seat,” He tries to alleviate the atmosphere by guiding his little brother to the beanbag chairs after placing his small hand in the crook of his elbow, his other hand holding it in place. He had felt a tug of resistance, but Mikey relented with a small pout. Once they had settled down, Mikey in his older brother’s lap and legs dangling off the side of the beanbag, Raph prodded further.
“Now tell me about this promise, ‘cause you know Raph always keeps his promises, and it’d be a pretty big deal for me to forget one,” Raph says, tapping his temple. His nervousness had lifted a bit after placing them in a more relaxed environment, and he could see Mikey’s posture loosen up as well.
“W-well, it was a pinky swear,” Mikey starts off, wringing his hands over each other as he starts off vague. “You promised you’d keep our family safe…” Mikey’s statement jarred Raph almost senseless, eyes darting around immediately, as a cold chill ran down his spine. What had happened while he was out? His panic button hadn’t gone off and he always left his ringer on. Was someone in the medbay? As he wasn’t being dragged off somewhere... He realizes that Mikey’s reaction at the door is probably well justified now.
And he remembers that promise well. Raph had been no older than six, which left Mikey at the tender age of four. The two of them had been coloring in Lou Jitsu and a Jupiter Jim stick figures kicking butt while the twins were doing an impromptu enactment of said hero figures fighting crime together, zooming around the lair, darting past the two on the ground every once in a while.
“Waphie?” Mikey had spoken up, head resting on his palm as he looked at his oldest brother. “Yeah, Mikey?” Raph had his tongue sticking out, still focusing on his drawing with a red crayon in a sturdy grip. “You always- say you will protec’ us when we go out wif Daddy, in case a baddie will pop up an’ hurt us,” Mikey was still learning the art of speech, so he went along with pauses and lisps, but that didn’t stop him from getting his message across to his brothers. “Of course Mikey! I love you guys! I’ll never let anybody hurt you, or Leo, or Donnie, or Poppa!” Mikey’s mention of his loyalty had gotten his attention, and he was sitting up, arms flexing proudly as much as a child could. “ I swear it!” Raph announces, making Mikey laugh. Before he falls back onto his plastron but is still engaged in the conversation. “Why lil bro?” Mikey pipes up again, expression gleaming, “ ‘Cause den, you're jus’ like Lou Jizu an’ Cap'n Jim!” His words are even more mumble jumbled out of his excitement, but Raph still clings onto the praise. “You really think so?” he asks quizzically but smiles sillily at the comparison, “ Because I look nothing like them! And they can do super cool moves I can’t do yet! I’m not as good as they are,” Mikey giggles. “Silly Waphie! But you act jus’ like ‘em!” He holds his tiny fists up as if he were about to wrestle. “ You all want to stop baddies from hurtin’ people! An’ that makes you super duper cool!” His hands slap back down to his paper, adoration for his brother bursting at the seams. “An’ you swear’d on it! That makes you eben better t’han dem!” He jumps on top of his brother’s shell and sorts himself so that their shells are stacked and their heads bump each other. “That’s right bro, I pinky swear! ” This elicits a gasp from the youngest turtle. “Weally!?” He exclaims, and their chubby pinkies interlace. “Absolutely!” A small whine of confusion. “Definitely, for sure!” Raph clarifies, nodding determinedly.
After that, they always pinky shook before heading out of the lair, until Donnie had called them out on it after a few times, saying he saw a ‘correlation’ or a pattern. Splinter had internally agreed with the softshell, as they paced their way down the sewer, his tail gliding back and forth. His heart melted at the genuity of his little Red’s explanation of the matter, blushing lightly at the end of his rant. Leo accepts the promise wholeheartedly as he wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck in a hug, Raph wrapping his own around Leo’s waist and hoisting him up, Leo squealing at the motion. After that, they had all participated in the practice, Splinter even snaking his own tail in, making his own silent vow, before they started off.
Of course, they had grown out of it not too long after their father had deemed them old enough and Raph responsible enough for them to go out on their own, but that initial feeling of reassurance always bloomed in their chests whenever they step out of the lair. Sometimes they still sneak glances at each other, knowing that each of them was reciting their big brother’s words in their heads and Raph in his own. When April had come along, they all swore her into the promise as well, behind her back in the lair, the week after they met and bonded with her.
“That I did, did something happen to somebody?” Raph couldn’t help the uneasiness in his gut as he shifted a bit under his brother’s gaze.
“Yes, actually,” Mikey says almost sternly, as his attitude hadn’t completely depleted. Raph swallows. He had somehow really screwed up. He wiped his clammy palms on his jumpsuit, suspense killing him and guilt creeping up in his throat like bile. He raises a brow worriedly as Mikey huffs and crosses his arms. “It’s you,” And he looks away as Raph blinks dumbly. “M-me?” he coughs out, trying to get Mikey to confirm his statement. “Yes!” Mikey shouts in frustration as he clamps his fists to his side, startling Raph. “It’s you Raph, and I’m not gonna let you get hurt anymore!” He jabs a finger into his brother’s plastron, expression intense, but Raph sees that his eyes aren’t angry like his voice sounds- but they’re rimmed red, with light bags, and he lowers his brother’s hand gently, as he relaxes from his built up tension. “What do you mean I’m getting hurt?” Raph tries to extract more information from his cryptic brother. Was he worried about going out at night as R.A.P.H.? But he had been so supportive. He then looks back at the past week; none of them had accumulated major injuries of any kind; in fact, they might even hit a new streak. He perks up at the click of a tongue as he comes down from his thoughts. “Tch. I’m so tired of being the youngest sibling,” Mikey mumbles. And Raph could confirm that he looked weary, he frowned at the conclusion that he had been crying recently- if his eyes were anything to prove of it. Raph was about to pick up with another question before Mikey led on himself. “It sucks when you guys get hurt protecting each other, but it sucks, even more, when you guys are doing it to protect me, ” He looks down, unable to maintain eye contact. Raph looks down troubled, he didn’t even realize he had ever had the need to feel this way, they were his family, and he shouldn’t feel guilt for others doing something out of love- for familial instinct. As much as he could relate, yeah, it sucked having his brothers take a hit. That’s why he always did when he could, as the natural shield of the group.
“Especially you,” Mikey says it so glumly he can't help the despair edging at him. “Whaddya mean Mikey?” Raph coaxes, rubbing his little brother’s shell. “It’s my duty-,” But he gets cut off. “Duty-Schmuty! When you said you’d protect our family, I thought it meant you too, y’know. This past week or so, when I was thinking about our ‘no injury’ record, I couldn’t help but think of all the injuries we have gotten, and then I realized, a bunch of them were just to protect me! I always think I’m doing my best when we fight, but you guys always go the extra mile by sticking a limb out for me. I can count on one hand the number of times I remember I saved one of you- and we only have three fingers!” He lets a frustrated tear slip out, and Raph brushes it away wordlessly, allowing Mikey to continue. “But you especially Raph!” He turns his body to face more toward his oldest brother. “ You’re literally out there taking hits, and cuts, and bruises for us- like- all the time. And I hate that I haven’t really had a second thought about it until now, you’re just so strong compared to me - you can carry our whole family Raph!” He chuckles wetly, and he repeats his words in a whisper. “ Our whole family, ” And his head dips into his hands, his eyes covered by them. Raph is somber at this, his face in a sad pout, as he hugs his brother close, Mikey’s arms wrapping under his shoulders. “I’m not gonna apologize for being there for you guys, but you shouldn’t have to worry about your family protecting you buddy,” Raph says, “We want to keep each other safe, that’s why sometimes we self sacrifice- even if nobody else wants to see it happen- we care too much about each other to let anything bad happen,” Mikey mumbles into his shoulder. “But what about me? I want to protect you guys too, even if I do have to sacrifice myself, 'cause it’s not fair!”
Raph cups his little brother’s face into his palms, “This ain't a competition bro, as frustrating as it is to see each other hurt, it's not gonna do anybody good if we stay bitter about it. We do it 'cause we love each other and don’t want to see each other gettin’ hurt, especially if we can prevent it. You don't have to always be there for us. We might be protective of you because you’re the youngest, but it's only 'cause Don n' Leo know what it feels like to be protected as a younger sibling, they want you to have that security too," Raph smiles earnestly, finally lowering his hands. Then he reaches to scratch the back of his neck, “But I think I can understand how you feel now- ‘m sorry for worrying you lil bro- it really wasn’t my intention- but goin’ out as the red angel of preventing harm is kinda therapeutic for me so I don't plan on completely stoppin’ but- maybe we can compromise on something going forward. Does that sound alright with ya?”
Mikey sniffs and grins wide “It more than makes up for it, thanks Raph,” And he wraps his arms around his big brother’s neck in a tight embrace. Raph warmly tugs in his brother with a reassuring smile. “Alright, how does hitting up the theatre room and settling down with a Lou Jitsu film sound?” Raph suggests encouragingly. “Sounds great! I’ll be back with popcorn!” Mikey peps up, hopping up from the shared beanbag. Raph hoists himself up and starts ruffling around for a movie for the projector.
He’s glad Mikey got what he needed out of clearing up that misunderstanding. It relieved a lot of the tension that built up in him… But not all of it. The fact that Mikey thought he had gone behind his back on purpose was concerning. He didn’t ever want to be unreliable for his brothers. He was the oldest and the example, he couldn’t let the others think he was slacking or rebelling. Maybe changing his approach wouldn’t be so bad after all.
After finding one of Mikey’s favorites, he pops it into the projector and settles down. Not a moment later his little brother is back with a good-sized tub of popcorn. “M’ back!” he announces, and hops right back into Raph’s lap, making the older brother let out a little oompf !, before wrapping his arm around and snatching a piece of popcorn for himself.
“Raph?” Mikey looks up at his older brother.
“Yeah, Mike?”
“Love ya!”
Raph smiles, “Love ya too.”