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“Merlin, are you sure about this?” Gaius asked, watching as his ward brought the glass to his lips and hesitated.
“I’m sure, Gaius.” The warlock answered, carefully keeping the waver out of his voice. He really wasn’t sure at all, but he had to know if he was truly back to himself. After Morgana and the Fomorroh… He needed to be sure that he wasn’t still being controlled. He needed to know that her spell hadn’t changed him somehow.
He needed to know that her spell hadn’t worked because some part of him harbored resentment towards Arthur. The only way he could be sure was the brownish-green potion in his hand. It was meant to strip down one’s inhibitions and reveal their true inner self. It was meant to show what drove a person, what compelled them to act, and how they felt about things. It would expose Merlin’s very essence, which was precisely what he needed to be sure.
The potion used to be used by royals on their knights as a way to sort the loyal from the treacherous. But it had been outlawed long ago by the druids, hundreds of years before the purge, seen as a horrendous practice that caused terrible suffering for the one forced to drink it.
But Merlin felt that he had no choice. He had to ensure that he wasn’t tainted by the Fomorroh’s magic. So without another word, he downed the thick, bubbly liquid, the taste like that of honeyed dandelion greens, bitter and sweet in equal measures. It moved slowly down his throat, and he had to swallow repeatedly to feel like the substance had completely cleared his esophagus.
A tense moment passed before Merlin’s shoulders started to relax. “Is that it?” He asked, looking into the emptied cup. “I don’t feel any different.”
Gaius looked back at the book of magic lying on the table. “Are you sure you used the right amount of watercress?” He asked, skimming the page before glancing up when Merlin answered.
“I’m sure I did that part right,” Merlin told him, brow furrowed, mouth turned down, and eyes glowing bright gold.
“Merlin, your eyes,” Gaius whispered. “They’re glowing.”
“What?” Merlin blinked and shook his head, but judging from the physician’s face, it didn’t accomplish anything.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m not doing anything!” Merlin said, rubbing at his eyes, clambering off the bench, finding a reflective surface in a silver tray he was supposed to polish. He stared at his own golden gaze, confused and concerned. He looked back at his mentor before something in his face changed, a sick look overcoming him as the color of his face drained away. “Gai-Agh!”
Gaius watched helplessly as Merlin folded in half, arms wrapped around his stomach. His jaw was hanging open, but no more sound escaped as his face twisted in agony. The warlock’s eyes started glowing brighter, and the screaming started again in earnest as his body straightened up, rigid with tension. Anguished cries made it sound like the boy was being ripped apart.
And ripped apart he was as the potion took effect, stripping down each and every layer of the boy’s soul, taking away everything that made him Merlin. Gone was the optimism and the humor, the mischief and the joy. Gone was his compassion and warmth, his love and kindness. Gone too were his anger and sadness, his grief and hate. Gone was Merlin himself as he was shaved down to nothing but a hollow mind and a hollow body that glowed molten gold.
Yes, the warlock was stripped down to nothing more than the magic that Albion had pooled together and molded into human form. Standing in front of Gaius was not a man, not by any means of the word, and the physician nearly had to look away when the magic flared too bright. “Merlin!” He shouted as the golden glow began to pulse, sparks of energy flying off the effigy.
“Merlin! You must stop this!” Gaius shouted, but it was of no use. Merlin was gone, and with him gone, so too was the leash that held onto the magic.
Merlin’s body started to twitch and jerk wildly as the magic grew and grew, and Gaius was thrown back when an uncontrolled flick of Merlin’s fingers sent wind rushing towards him. He hit the door, pain lancing through his old, and thankfully unbroken, bones. Gaius watched as the room’s items swirled around, the wind picking them up and tossing them about. As he stared, he noticed with horrified eyes that cracks were beginning to form in the walls, and from outside the room, voices started to shout.
The people outside started pounding on the door, yelling at Gaius to open up, and it had to have been the magic holding the door closed because his frail body wasn’t heavy enough to stop it from opening. He had to do something and do something fast before they managed enough force to break down the door.
His eyes flitted over to a floorboard in the very corner of the room, his heart aching at the thought of using what lay beneath it. But no other option was available to him, so Gaius moved along the wall, painstakingly slow as he fought the wind and push of the magic. He knelt down when he finally reached the corner, wrinkled hands moving to grip into barely there divots discreetly carved into the stone wall, fingers curling under the wooden plank and pulling hard.
The board came out so suddenly that if it weren’t for the wind pushing on his back, Gaius would have tumbled backward from it. And there, lying within the floor, was a simple silver cuff.
He grabbed the enchanted bracelet, and taking a deep breath, he turned and did something he hadn’t done in years, raising his hand and calling out in spell. Gold flared in his wizened eyes, and a force shield rippled the air in front of him, protecting him from the wind and magic pulsing through the room.
He moved across the floor, his body aching with the effort of holding the shield and moving through the wind that pushed against it. As he moved, he heard a sudden, gut-wrenching sound of bone snapping in two, and as he watched, Merlin’s arm bent in two between his elbow and wrist. The magic was too strong without its wielder, and the warlock’s body couldn’t withstand the unrestrained power. Fear leapt into Gaius’ throat as he realized that if he didn’t get the cuff on Merlin soon, the boy may die before the potion could finish running its course.
He poured as much magic as possible into his shield, willing himself to move faster, gritting his teeth as another bone snapped, hoping it wasn’t located anywhere major. Finally, he reached Merlin, gripping his unbroken arm and shouting as the pure magic burned against his skin. With clumsy, struggling fingers, he managed to slip the cuff on.
Immediately, everything stopped. The wind abated, tossing items to the floor, and the glow faded away to nothing. The cuff was containing the overflow, and with the power dissipating, Merlin’s body slumped against Gaius, who knelt down, cradling him close just as the door flew open. Arthur and Gwaine burst in, followed by a group of guards, and Gaius had to think quickly, pulling Merlin’s blue sleeve down over the silver bracelet.
One hasty explanation about Morgana attacking Merlin later, and everyone rushed out to secure the castle, leaving only two men stationed outside in case the witch returned.
The physician and his ward were left behind, and as he sat there on the floor, the old man bent his head, tears running like rivers down the age-carved canyons in his face. Merlin was held close to his chest, Gaius’ gentle hands cradling his broken arm.
He needed to get up. He needed to bind Merlin’s arm. He needed to fix what he had allowed to happen. But instead, he sat there, quietly weeping as Merlin’s hollow body rested against him.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He whispered, letting his tears drip into Merlin’s hair. “I’m sorry, my boy. I should have never told you about that potion.” He shifted, looking down at Merlin’s face, tenderly laying a hand on his cheek. “Your mother sent you to me so I could protect you. But I have failed in so, so many ways, Merlin.” He whispered, taking a moment to compose himself, looking up at the ceiling. “I’m so sorry, my boy. I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to keep you safe.” Gaius let his eyes close once more, his forehead coming down to rest against Merlin’s carefully. “This was never supposed to happen.”
Gaius didn’t move from that position until Gwen came rushing in minutes later.