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Everything is white.
I don’t know who I am, or what I’m doing here. But that isn’t important.
Everything is peaceful.
I can feel my eyelids moving. Oh! I can move them.
I wonder if there are other things I can do.
Black.
White.
Black.
White.
Black…
…………………………
Everything is dark. Why? I moved my eyelids few times, but everything still black.
Something moved! There is a movement near the bed. That’s right! I’m on a bed! I’m…lying down…I think.
I tried moving, but I don’t know how.
Everything still black. The movement is gone.
-“Don’t worry I’m here…”
…………………………
Everything is dark again! I blinked few times and it’s still dark!
I’m not afraid of the dark, but it’s just feels,
…I don’t know…
…alone?
I wish someone was here…
Oh! Everything becomes white again!
But…why? How?
I moved my eyelids…back, white, black, white…
Does it actually work?
-“Sorry I’m late! The other will be here soon”
…………………………
Everything is white…but I still feel lonely.
Something wet is falling from my eyes…I wonder what is it? I don’t know how to stop it…
Something touched my face! something smooth and soft. Oh! it’s stoping the wetness from my eyes.
I don’t feel lonely anymore.
I can feel my mouth moving a little…I think I’m smiling.
-“He’s smiling!”
-“Yeah…he is...”
-“Do you think…he will smile tomorrow as well?”
…………………………
Everything is black.
I tried to move my eyelids, nothing changes.
I tried to move my mouth, nothing changes.
I still don’t know how to move…so I keep lying on the bed.
Something white appears near…the…door?
Everything is white again.
The door disappeared.
I wonder if someone is here…
-“Oh! you’re already awake!”
-“I hope you slept well…”
…………………………
Not everything is white?
There is something…Blue?
It’s keep moving around. It’s fun to watch.
I feel my mouth smiling. Oh! I smile when I’m happy!
Blue makes me happy!
-“He’s smiling at you!”
-“I knew he loved my one liners…hehe…”
-“Hey…you won’t be able to make him smile, if you’re crying…”
-“I’m know, I just…”
-“It’s okay…”
…………………………
Blue is not here. I want Blue to be here.
I wish I could tell Blue to come, but I don’t know how to talk.
I tried moving my mouth…nothing happened…
I don’t know how to do a lot of things…
I wonder if Blue will come through the door…
Blue, please come again…
…I need you…
-“He keeps looking at the door”
-“Do you think he’s waiting for Leo?”
…………………………
Everything is dark. No! No! I don’t want the dark! I don’t want to be alone!
I can feel my hands moving, up and down, up and down. I can’t control them well…
…it’s a little…painful?
Pain? Why?! Am I hurt? I’m scared…
Something touches my hand! What is that! Another hand? It’s big…but…it’s warm…
…it’s still there…
I didn’t move…I don’t want it to go away.
It’s kept the pain away.
Warm…
Safe…
Red…
-“it’s okay little brother, I’m here…I’m here…”
…………………………
Blue and Red are here! I’m happy! I’m safe!
Wait! Where are you going?
No! Don’t go through the door!
Please! Don’t disappear again! Please… don’t…go…
I feel the wetness from my eyes again…oh…I’m sad…
…I’m crying…
…I’m crying…
…I’m crying…
…Red…Blue…please come back…
I will do anything, so please come back…
But…I don’t know how to do anything…
Something soft wiping my tears…
Something warm wrapping around my body…
Something Orange is here…
I hold into it!
If I let go…will Orange…disappear as well?
-“He stars crying when you left…yeah…yeah…he’s fine now…he won’t let go of my hand though”
…………………………
I learn how to sit! Now I can see Blue, Red and Orange better!
I want to learn more!
I want to talk to them!
I want to know their names!
…but I don’t have a name…
I… don’t…have… a name…
I feel sad…
Why!! Why can’t I do anything!
I start crying again…
Red, Blue, and Orange are moving around.
I suppose to feel safe…
I suppose to feel happy…
I suppose to feel warm…
But I still feel sad…
I feel so so sad…I feel…frustrated…
Tears won’t stop…
I don’t want to lose Red, Blue, and Orange…
-“What happened? Why is he crying?!”
-“He was fine a moment ago!”
-“What should we do? He won’t stop crying…”
…………………………
Everything is black…I’m alone…
‘Red’
I tried to whisper…
‘Orange’
I tried to speak…
‘Blue’
I tried to shout...
…but nothing came out…
I can’t do anything to reach them…
They are too far…
Tears drops down…
…I…can’t …do…anything…
No!!!
No no no no no no no no!!
I shake my head, left, right, left, right,
left
There have to be something!! There have to be!!
-“Donnie…are you awake?”
-“he’s shaking his head…wait! He’s crying again!”
-“We have to stop him before he gets hurt!”
…………………………
Leo walks down the hospital hallway, letting his body lead the way, while his mind is lost in thoughts.
Leo didn’t want to lose hope. Even after 6 months, he would never allow himself to lose hope.
After all, Donnie is recovering bit by bit.
Lately, Donnie was smiling! also was crying… but looking at the bright side, he was showing emotions. He was also focusing on them, knowing when they arrived or when they left. Donnie was improving every day! So how can he not see the hope right there!
He just wish…Donnie would become himself again…
Oh, who is he kidding? He wants, needs Donnie to recover sooner than later!
He miss Him…he miss his twins so much…
Leo stopped his thoughts when he arrived at the door Donnie’s room. Leo would take a minute to compose himself, he would always do that before meeting his twins. Donnie…in that state of mind…is something Leo would never get used to…
Taking a deep breath and putting a smile on his face. Leo enters the room…
“Finally! I thought none of you would come-”
Leo froze. His eyes widened. Looking at the person that currently sitting on the bed. Is his mind playing some kind of trick on him, did he finally lose it? O-or is this a dream?
“Hey ‘Nardo, are you listening?”
He takes a step, then another, then another. Leo felt his heart beating in his ears. ‘Please don’t be a dream! Please don’t be a dream!’ His mind chanted. ‘Please!’
“Leo?”
Donnie’s voice was full of worry, but Leo couldn’t speak, like this moment will shatter if he spoke. So, he did the only thing he could do, to make sure this was real, to make sure it’s not a dream or a mind trick. He throws himself in Donnie arm, feeling the warmth of his brother and squeezing the life out of him.
Leo knew he was crying, but that was the least of his worries. As for now he only wants to feel Donnie, to make sure that is real. He felt Donnie’s arm around him, returning the hug. He cried harder and harder as he heard Donnie voice, whispering sweet words of comfort in his ears.
Oh! How much he missed that!
Leo kept crying until tears won’t come out. Even then he didn’t let go of Donnie, keep snuggling to him like a lifeline.
“Are you alright?” He heard Donnie asking, he nodded to answer.
They stay like that for a few minutes.
“And the hug is still going.”
“Ha…you must be d-dreaming if you thought I will let go any time soon!” ‘Please don’t be a dream’.
“I would like to hear you say that when someone cries their eyes out on you, leaving tears and- wait isa that snot! Eww!! Get of me!”
Leo’s heart bloomed with warmth, hearing his brother his twins being himself was the best thing in the world! He couldn’t help but grin.
“No can do my dear brother!” he snuggled more “but, I betcha at least two more crying faces will join this little pile”
“Oh dear Galileo, somebody help me” Leo could hear the smile on Donnie’s voice. Laughing a little in return.
Leo would need to actually call his brothers and father (properly April, Draxum, Casey, CJ and -well everyone) but he will have to let go of Donnie. They will come eventually. Plus, they waited for 6 months, few more minutes won’t kill them.