Chapter Text
I sat there helplessly, shaking in fear, as the tears began to well up in my eyes. I was ashamed (although I had done nothing wrong) and felt like running out of the classroom; however, my legs felt like Jell-O, and Mr. S******* would probably kill me—or anyone else—if we moved.
I was upset and scared stiff. Why did he even have to mention me? I thought. I’m not wearing a hoodie; I’m wearing a shirt. And I wasn’t wearing the hood up like those… idiots. He’s probably the one who mentioned my shirt too… gosh, why was he even looking?
I didn’t understand it anymore; one slip up and suddenly all of the teachers hated me. And of course, it’s me and Z who got punished—not Jꜱ and Jᴍ…
My eyes were flooded with tears as Mr. S******* continued to yell. Gosh, he scares me so much. I wouldn’t be surprised if he came over and hit Jꜱ… or me for that matter. He might even make us all take our hoodies/shirts off in front of the whole class… gosh, I only have a cami under this thing! I didn’t want to think that he’d do that, but you never know.
I was crying hard, shaking, and felt sick. I breathed deeply, willing myself to remain silent.
Finally, he left; there wasn’t a sound in the classroom. Mrs. C came back in. I shakily stumbled over and, through choked sobs, asked if I could use the bathroom.
I was finally alone. Everything became a blur. I started to become dizzy. I felt so ill that I got sick. After that, I sat on the floor and sobbed. I felt traumatized.
I’m such a baby… It’s not that big of a deal… but, gosh, I don’t know…
Still crying, I rose and washed the horrible taste out of my mouth. I tried to wipe my face off, but fresh tears kept staining my cheeks. I continued to cry.
After awhile, A came in. Then E. Then Jᴍ (although she was just there for her contacts); they comforted me a lot. I eventually calmed down and came out.
Z was in the hall. “You okay?” he asked gently.
I smiled a teary grin. “Yeah,” I sighed as I walked back into the classroom. For a brief moment, I knew everything would be okay.
I was still nervous every time I saw him. Every time he came in for history, I turned away from him. Every time we ran laps in gym, my heart started beating faster as I passed him in the front. I guess I was traumatized. I couldn’t go on like this forever, so I just pretended I was fine. I acted happy. I put on a smile. Still, inside, a little bit of me was scared.
I guess everyone will know that now that I’m writing this, I thought. But I didn’t care; it felt half good to tell. But what will all the teachers think? If Mrs. C shows this to my parents, or to Mr. S*******—oh my gosh! Oh well… at least I finished my assignment… I went on thinking, silently working on more late homework.