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For all the bluntness and honesty - more often than not unpleasant - others liked to attribute to him, Alhaitham knew his life was a farce.
The cushy house, the job at the Akademiya, the name "Alhaitham" itself - all of that was build on an unspeakable lie, consequences of a twist in his path, of a moment of weakness.
But a moment doesn't last almost six years.
No, a moment exhausts itself when the words cease and the task is accomplished. When the corpse if found and someone is frantically knocking on his dorm's door, crying and grieving for his loss.
"I'm really sorry"
"It must be difficult for you"
"If you need someone to talk to-"
And he'd nod, maybe thank one or two of them, never smile.
He's pack his belongings, let his memory fade and escape him like running water, and in a day or two he'd be far, far away from Sumeru and back to where the payment was waiting for him.
That was his life.
It had always been like that.
What's more, that time his unknown clients were paying exceptionally well for a rater simple job. A student.
Nothing difficult, nothing new.
But that one moment of weakness, all those years ago, had long since stopped being worthy of that name.
It could've been anything.
A poisonous needle, just a little puncture under the skin. A thin stiletto, quick and merciful. A cup of coffee slightly different than usual.
Anything, really.
And yet it had been a kiss.
Despite all his preparations, all the experience he had, a quick peck on the lips, eyes closed and face flushed, had been enough to make his life take a 180° turn.
Alhaitham's life had been a farce ever since he fell in love with his target.
-----
They had a life now, he and Kaveh.
They lived together, ate together, spent the majority of their evenings playfully arguing over the littlest details of a book Alhaitham had recently finished; over the new aranara statue the Scribe had proudly brought home, even though it was "the ugliest creation by human hands this world has ever seen!" - quoting the architect's nervous outburst following that thing's arrive.
They knew each other better than everyone else, and yet, by calling them a couple, one would've found themselves in error.
A terrible misunderstanding, as Kaveh liked to call it.
In fact, that awkward, blissful, inexperienced kiss the day of Kaveh's graduation was the first and last one of a long friendship.
"I thought I felt... something of that sort" Kaveh had said, only a week after the most significant moment of Alhaitham's life, "but maybe it's better if we stop at that."
At the time, Alhaitham, who was still trying to figure out the internal crisis of values and beliefs that kiss had caused, could only nod, expressing a loathed agreement.
"But! You are still my best friend, Haitham. I'll never leave you alone!"
That's how "Alhaitham" was born - a boy with no parents nor relatives, appeared on the Akademiya's grounds out of no-where, only known for being senior Kaveh's best friend.
He was content like that.
Al least, content enough to endure the pain of seeing Kaveh gift a beautiful purple rose to a young Amurta lady, or crying for help while trying to make chocolates for a new sweetheart of his and failing miserably.
He felt like dying every single time.
------
When the fallout happened and their paths turned parallel, the annoying itch in his throat disappeared. Thankfully.
For a few years it all went well.
Alhaitham graduated, received an house and became the Akademiya's Scribe.
He didn't think about his old life anymore, not that much anyway.
He just... He was alright.
The important thing was to keep repeating it.
Then Kaveh came back, suddenly, like a blinding sunray.
He knocked on his door, briefcase in hand, shattered dreams and not a mora on his name.
Something had broken inside of the architect, that much was evident.
Accepting his plea of sharing the house was just another moment of weakness.
------
The itch returned.
He could dismiss it with a cough, but it was a temporary relief.
Tighnari was the first to notice. Be it thanks to the mixed genes, but a simple couple of coughs was enough to have the forest ranger eye him with a frown.
"Do you have something stuck in your throat?" he asked.
He said no and they never talked about it again.
------
The Traveller's arrival brought a breath of fresh air.
Kaveh was far away in the desert and he was busy, busy saving their Archon and nation. He didn't have time for annoying heartaches, thank you very much.
Then again, it wasn't his fault if the golden sands sorrounding Aaru Village were so similar to Kaveh's soft hair, or if the crimson hues of the cacti's fruits were so similar to Kaveh's bright irises.
Once, Dehya came asking if he was alright.
"Your sigh there sounded really sad." she said.
------
When Kaveh had barged into the House of Daena, searching for him, Alhaitham had felt the flame of hope spark again in his heart.
Had he missed him? Had he heard of the commotion in the Grand Sage's office?
Had he been worried? Had he, perhaps, realised something?
Kaveh was indeed worried, but that was it. Nothing less, nothing more.
He was afraid of loosing his housemate, his friend.
The Traveller glanced at him when he coughed, but said nothing.
------
A blue petal, a few yellow strokes at the base.
"A forget-me-not?"
Alhaitham smiled bitterly. It was so very funny.
True love, respect and faithfulness, a promise to remember forever.
He felt like crying. Heart aching, pierced by bloody thorns.
When the first petal escaped his lips, covered in saliva, he knew his end wouldn't have been pretty.
------
It got out of control.
He coughed and coughed and coughed, petals over petals.
First saliva, then ferrous blood.
His body started deteriorating, tormented by the lethal illness with so little chances of surviving.
It was no use hiding it anymore, not when every time he breathed in he could feel the small petals sticking to his throat, making everything itch.
Kaveh was desperate. When he found out he started crying uncontrollably, screaming at him that no, he had to be lying.
Don't you see the petals? There's one right here - Alhaitham had said.
Kaveh had begged him to tell him a name, the one responsible for his inevitable demise, but not a word left Alhaitham's mouth.
If only you knew...
But he didn't know and Kaveh cried more.
Tighnari suggested him to try and have the surgery, having those venomous roots eradicated from his wilting body.
But Kaveh's reaction was so unexpectedly aggressive that no-one mentioned it again that evening.
"You can't!" the architect had screamed, eyes wild, wet and full of barely contained rage.
"The surgery will destroy you! All your memories... our-", he stopped abruptly, slamming his fist on the table, "You know that!". Then he pointed at their friends.
"And you, you know that too! How- Why?!
I won't allow it!"
"And what are you going to do, then?" Tighnari snapped, by then just as enraged as the architect himself.
"Are you going to let him die?"
Kaveh fell silent for a moment. His golden bangs covered his eyes, only his pursed lips were visible.
"Never." he said, voice low and sharp.
"Then let him have the surgery! That's the only way and you know it."
Kaveh shook his head again, never once lifting his gaze from the wine-stained cup in his hands.
"I- ... I can't..."
When Tighnari left in a fit of anger with Cyno in tow, swearing he would get the Scribe to the surgeon as soon as possible, Kaveh was curled up in a corner, knees to the chest and head between his arms.
Alhaitham, who had remained silent during the whole exchange, knelt next to him.
"Are you alright?"
Kaveh shook his head.
"Do you resent me for falling ill?"
"Yes"
"Do you think it would change something, whether I told you the name or not?"
"... No"
Alhaitham sat down and rested his head against the wall. He needed to cough.
"I see." maybe that bitter taste came from the flowers in his mouth, or perhaps it was just the realisation of his hopless future.
"So why not letting me have the surgery?"
Kaveh didn't answer immediately and many moments passed in silence.
Then he spoke.
"Because I'm selfish."
------
The warm light of a bloody sunset filled Alhaitham's bedroom with sinister shades.
Kaveh looked at the window, contemplating the crimson red clouds, seemingly ablaze, setting Sumeru City's sky on fire.
His red irises shined in the dim light.
He looked at the stained bedsheets.
"Don't you love me, Haitham?
Am I not important to you?
Don't you care for my happiness?"
"... Ka... veh..."
A raspy voice, low, hurting.
Someone was banging on the entrance door.
Kaveh caressed Alhaitham's damp hair, and shushed him gently, trying to stop the shivering.
Blue petals, stained red by the blood, surrounded the Scribe's pale face.
He was still as beautiful as ever.
"I can't give you what you need, Haitham."
He stared at Alhaitham's dull eyes, noticing how they were trying to focus on something, anything, and failing.
"But I must thank you."
Someone screamed from the entrance of the house. He ignored it.
"You always gave me so much- Your house, your money, your company, your love.
I'm truly grateful."
A loud thump. Perhaps they had finally managed to open the door.
"You never left me alone. Even when it all came crashing down, when everyone left me and I had nothing but an empty briefcase and an enormous debt...
Even when I cried, cursed, hated them with every fiber of my body, you were there. When they made me fall from my hard-gained glory out of envy and ineptitude.
They said it was a miracle I was still alive, that I should've died long ago. I laughed at them that day, do you remember?
What were they talking about?
Who would've killed me when their cowardice was as evident as their venomous words?"
Cyno's panicked voice became closer and closer and then the bedroom's handle shook violently.
"But you've always been loyal to me, I know that. Ever since that kiss...
You indulged me even when you could've saved your life... How romantic, Haitham!"
Alhaitham's body convulsed, trying to cough, but the trachea was full of fully grown flowers, impeding the passage of air.
Someone behind the door screamed to stay back.
"I don't love you enough, Haitham."
Suddenly, the air became saturated with electro energy.
"But I think your love was enough for both of us."
The door exploded and the sun set.
"Arrest him!"
"Let the doctors in immediately!"
"Oh Archons-"