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Wylan sat with his knees to his very bare chest in the sweltering sun, the top of his head burning and his heart thumping because this was a very brave thing for him to do. He’d been invited to come out to the beach with Nina, his best friend, and Inej, Nina’s roommate and now Wylan’s other best friend.
He’d been friends with them for months but the whole best friend thing snuck up on him, last time he had a best friend he had an overwhelming urge to kiss him. Wylan’s boyfriend, Jesper, was his first best friend. Before Jesper, Wylan didn’t have any friends, and suddenly he was sitting on the beach with two of his greatest friends in the world.
Wylan brushed grains of sand away from his forearm, sticking to the sunscreen Nina had applied on him because “suncare was sexy” and she was keeping track of when to reapply. The friend thing was hard to navigate but so was sitting on the beach with nothing but brown swim trunks on.
He’d been wearing Jesper’s zip up hoodie on the way here but Nina confiscated it because it was too hot out and she knew he was hiding behind it. If having friends was difficult, so was the whole being out of the closet and confident thing. Suddenly Wylan was able to be his true self but he’d spent so many years repressing it and being punished for it that he was pretty lost.
Wylan stopped messing with his arm when he realized how greasy the sunscreen made his hand and touched the blanket they were sitting on. His eyes flickered over to Inej, wearing a particularly flattering black one piece swimsuit that tied around her neck with the smallest triangle of her chest exposed. Nina had told her “a little titty window never hurt” and so Inej was also brave and bought a swimsuit she’d usually never think to wear.
When Wylan looked at Nina he wondered how she managed to find a swimsuit that looked tailored to every inch of her body. She wore a matching two piece bikini that was an off-white with tiny pink, orange and yellow flowers all over it. Maybe it was the way she carried herself but Wylan definitely caught himself staring, she looked radiant in her high-waisted high-leg bottoms.
“You guys look like you’re afraid the sand will bite you.” Nina pulled the pink heart-shaped sunglasses off of her face and pushed it into her hair, pulled messily into a claw clip. “Is it heatstroke?” She yanked her water bottle out of her tote bag and offered it to her best friends.
“It’s not heatstroke, yet.” Wylan watched Inej’s hand wrap around the water bottle, maybe her mouth was just as dry as his but for a completely different reason. Wylan didn’t know how to react when he was seen so vulnerable like this, and Inej had been vulnerable for too long to not relax. “Don’t pout, you’ve brought a social reject to the beach.” He took the water bottle from Inej’s outstretched hand and gulped some down.
“Social reject my ass, you’re here with your besties.” Nina sighed out a big dramatic sigh, she beckoned Inej over and worked on redoing the long braid her dark hair had been tamed into. “I know what’ll make you guys feel better, gossiping and also I brought my beads so we can make friendship bracelets.”
“Does my hair look okay?” Inej touched the top of her head as Nina secured her braid again and twirled a piece of face framing hair around her finger. “Thank you, and sorry, it’s strange being out in the open so willingly like this. Not my best idea to wear something so leotard-esque.”
“It looks perfect,” Wylan had never seen Inej’s hair look bad, even her messy bun was magazine worthy and her four day hair was stunningly clean. “That’s right, here, I know Jes would want you to have it.” He crawled over the blanket and rooted around in Nina’s tote bag to find his boyfriend’s hoodie. He offered it to Inej and she softened, opening an arm towards him until he leaned over and gently embraced her.
“If you seriously wanna go home we can go,” Nina reminded both of them, who had agreed to come with her but could change their mind at any moment. She’d heard all their stories, she’d seen them at their lowest and she accepted them thoroughly. She was capable of the unconditional, bone-deep love that neither of them knew how to react to. “And if I’m pushy it’s cause I believe in you guys. Nej, respectfully you are gorgeous. And Wy-bear, disrespectfully your little crawl got some attention and I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you, Neens.” Inej shrugged herself into Jesper’s hoodie and sat up a little straighter, it was an added layer of safety and she relished in it. She grabbed the roll of string Nina placed on the blanket and measured out her wrist. “I just keep thinking that if I’m with you guys there’s no way anything bad will happen, so,” She turned her head slightly and immediately caught sight of the pair of eyes on Wylan by the bar. “Oop, yeah, she wasn’t just saying that.”
“You guys are being ridiculous,” Wylan scoffed, obviously nobody was looking at him because he’d got on all fours to grab a hoodie. He let Inej wrap the string around his wrist and cut him off a piece perfectly fitted for him. “You’re safe with us, Nej, I think Nina could claw out a grown man’s jugular with her claws.”
“I probably could,” Nina grinned as she showed off her pointed nails, coated in iridescent purple polish. “Don’t worry your pretty little head, sweetheart, no man is going to stop you from enjoying your beach day.” She leaned her head on Inej’s shoulder lightly and nuzzled into her neck. Inej dutifully caught Nina’s wrist and got the string ready for her bracelet as well. “Wy, you’re deranged if you don’t think the little arch you just did wasn’t so pretty.”
“These are pretty,” Inej grabbed the little bead organizer Nina had brought, she had all shapes and sizes of beads. Most of them were sparkling and Inej poked around to find the perfect colour combo for her bracelet. “I’m just saying that there actually is somebody staring, nothing about your arch, but very impressive. From a like, anatomy enthusiast, ex-ballerina’s perspective.”
“As if somebody would see us and choose me,” Wylan shook his head, not bothering to follow either Nina or Inej’s gazes, because in his mind it was completely impossible. Nobody would look at Nina Zenik, Inej Ghafa and Wylan Hendriks and choose Wylan. He wasn’t worth a cent in comparison to their beauty, talents and overall pleasantness. “I’m going for a blue, purple, green moment…” He thought aloud, picking up a round sparkling lavender bead and sliding it onto his string.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nina stopped leaning on Inej because she was very much blocking the sunlight from their beading projects and they took friendship bracelets very seriously. “I’m thinking brown, pink, green, perhaps pearl too.” She laid out a few beads, carefully comparing colour palettes.
“I like the pearls a lot,” Inej murmured, grabbing a few of them and breaking them up with clear sparkling beads. “I think that guy did see us and choose you, I actually think he didn’t see us at all, just you.”
Wylan’s eyebrows furrowed, he was teetering between being frustrated and genuinely angry, not because he thought his friends were lying to him but because he could not wrap his head around it. He grabbed a translucent marbled blue bead and blew a curl away from his eyes. Wylan didn’t think he was very pretty or worth looking at or wanting.
“Just that I’m okay looking and kinda boring.” Wylan mumbled, mostly to himself, and continued diligently stacking beads onto his bracelet. “You guys are gorgeous and interesting, so, y’know.” He shrugged and went digging through Nina’s metal charms to add something to the middle of his bracelet.
“Oh shut the fuck up, you’re ‘okay looking’ Wylan?” Nina scoffed, because she had eyes and a brain and could see clear as day that Wylan was a literal angel. The delicate freckles, the effortlessly perfect redgold curls, the attentive blue eyes, the soft lips, the way he lazed like he was posing to be painted. “Boring? How many people do you know that exclusively listen to romantic period classical music and can name every wildflower in the northern hemisphere?”
Wylan flushed bright red because this felt a lot like being made fun of, like something was innately wrong with him because he was different. He found himself often lost in conversations, pop-culture references fell flat and he felt so disconnected from others his age. But Nina wasn’t making fun of him, not now at least, she was highlighting her favourite Wylan-isms.
“Wy, you’re so handsome.” Inej reassured him, a hand leaving her carefully crafted bracelet so she could squeeze his knee. A compliment and a soft touch from Inej meant the literal world, it’s not that Nina wasn’t genuine but she had a lot to say and Inej thought more than she spoke. “I think you’re so interesting, like Neens said, who else could tell me about the atmosphere of the planets of the solar system? Only our Wylan could tell us all about the Burmese Ferret-Badger.”
His hands shook around the small charm of what he assumed was supposed to be Saturn, but the rings were slightly off. He let out a small sigh at the realization he was just proving their point, that who else would be able to pick out things like this? Wylan slid the charm onto his string and peeked over his shoulder. Okay, so maybe somebody at the bar was looking at him.
Maybe Wylan didn’t hate it. He cleared his throat and looked away, it was a lot to see a physical person staring at his skin like that. It was a stranger. Wylan had never been desired in a purely physical way before, it was complex and overwhelming and exciting and twisted his stomach all up.
“So I’m insecure, local baby gay doesn’t love himself, breaking news.” Wylan didn’t have to look at Nina to see she was absolutely glaring at him. There was no self-hatred and loathing allowed on her beach blanket, absolutely not from her fantastic perfect best friend. “I don’t think Jes would like some random guy looking at me for this long.”
“I think Jes would be mad if you didn’t use it to your advantage,” Nina had finished her bracelet in her burst of anger, she was the beader of the friend group and so had a certain dexterity for it. She slid her new bracelet onto her wrist and both Wylan and Inej leaned over to inspect how perfect it was. “Do we want free drinks? I’m getting us free drinks.” She batted her eyelashes as she gracefully rose to her feet and shoved them into her sandals.
“What is she doing?” Wylan paused his half finished bracelet to see his best friend walk right over to the bar and start sighing, fanning herself, and flipping her hair. He couldn’t look away but he did not want to watch. Half of him envied Nina’s confidence and skill and half of him was mortified that she was drawing attention to all of them. “Are we going to go to jail? Are those guys going to jail?”
“Neens says to just act dumb,” Inej murmured, holding her bracelet impossibly close to her face as she tried to figure out how or when it got uneven. “I missed a tiny pearl, I knew something was weird.” She pulled a few beads off and went back to work, Wylan smiled fondly and decided to use this rush of anxiety to finish his bracelet before Nina came back.
He reached over to help Inej tie her bracelet together, both of them leaning in until their heads brushed. It was hard to bead on the beach in the sand and hot sun. Wylan felt sweaty and sticky and shaky, but Inej steadied his hands so he could finish her bracelet off. Then he softly slipped it around her wrist and she beamed, it was worth absolutely every moment of suffering in the heat to see her so pleased.
Then Inej reached over and helped Wylan tie off his bracelet. He really liked how they didn’t make matching jewelry but since they’d made them together at the same time they were still matching in their hearts.
Wylan was taking photos of his newly accessorized wrist so he could show Jesper, even putting his wrist beside Inej’s so he could show her work too.
“Hiiii, I’m baaack.” Nina sank down onto her blanket and stuck a pink drink towards Wylan, grinning knowingly. “He said this was for the ‘stunning ginger’ and I fucking told you so.” She didn’t let up until Wylan took the drink from her, it was full of ice and something peachy and probably watermelon because there were a few chunks dropped into it. “And this,” She grabbed a can seemingly from out of nowhere, but she’d tucked it into the waistband of her bottoms. “Is for me, Inej gets the pretty mango passionfruit thing.”
“I really wish you didn’t talk to him.” Wylan whispered because now he felt like he owed him something, Nina clearly did not feel this way. She popped open her can and chugged for a few seconds, sighing happily as she leaned back to bask in the sun. “How do I tell Jes I let somebody buy me a drink?”
“Proudly, that’s your first free drink of many, babe.” Nina reached over with her foot and lovingly kicked Wylan in the hip. “You and your man have free drinks for life, just keep being a stunning little angel.”
“I’m not doing anything.” Wylan sighed, taking a small sip and yeah, he wasn’t mad anymore, it was delicious. It would be so much easier to be pissed off if this wasn’t a great cocktail. He pressed his cold hand to his cheek and spared a small glance towards the bar, the man was still there and still looking. Wylan gave a shy smile and Nina kicked him harder, he could hear her grinning from ear to ear. “Oh shut up, you told me to.”
“I didn’t tell you to be a little tramp,” Nina was so proud, she looked over at Inej who was enjoying her drink and letting her shoulders relax. “Can I get a little sip? I love mango.” She leaned forward when Inej tilted the straw over to her and held Nina’s hair away from her mouth.
“These are so yummy, thanks Neens, I was just going to steal your water.” Inej smiled when Nina’s eyes rolled back because the drink was indeed so yummy. She leaned forward to steal some of Wylan’s drink and he braced himself on his free hand to meet her halfway.
“Oh, thank you,” Wylan watched Nina sip his drink at the same time that Inej handed hers over to him. As they all traded drinks he let out a hum and licked his lips, maybe it was because Nina flirted for them or because they didn’t pay but they were better than other drinks he’d had. “I wish Jes could try these.”
“Bring him next time, we can get double the free drinks.” Nina snuggled her can into her sandal and turned around with her sunscreen in her hand. “Somebody please get my back, it’s been two hours, I am not burning today. Not when I look so cute.”
“Jes had track, right?” Inej held onto Wylan’s drink for him as he got on his knees behind Nina and covered his palms in sunscreen. “I wish he was here, what’d he think of your shorts? I know Nina convinced you to get the shorter ones.”
“He doesn’t think anything,” Wylan shrugged his shoulders as he smoothed his hands down the back of his best friend's neck and shoulders. Nina tilted her head backwards, eyebrows furrowed because that didn’t sound like Jesper Fahey. “Cause I didn’t show him, relax, oh my God.” He turned her back around with the back of his hand and worked on her upper back. “I’m used to them now, it’s not like they’re that short, I just kinda feel like I’m wearing boxers in public.”
“We’re sending Jes pics, if my hot boyfriend was wearing short shorts at the beach and didn’t show me I’d riot, which means Jes would cry.” Nina grabbed her drink out of her sandal and watched the men at the bar watch Wylan massage sunscreen into her skin. Men were so easy it was kind of painful, at least Nina felt like playing the game, a small lick to the rim of the can and the lowering of her sunglasses did the trick.
“He might cry.” Inej agreed, she’d only known Jesper for a few months but he showed all his cards very fast, he liked Inej quick and it was overwhelming at first but now it was a gift. “They’re not that short, I think they fit you really well. Any longer and it might look kind of awkward? You know what I mean? They hug you perfectly.”
“Thank you, Nej.” Wylan smiled shyly as he smoothed the rest of the sunscreen over Nina’s lower back and made sure he got every inch. He’d really hate to be the reason she got sunburnt, and in the shape of his fingers, he’d be absolutely horrified actually. “I can show him when I’m home…”
“Nuh uh, cause you won’t do it right.” Nina put her drink back in her shoe and turned so she was on her knees facing her best friend. “You lose half of the punch when you’re not on the beach basking in the golden sun, on your bum please.” She pointed behind him and Wylan slowly sat back where she directed him, flushing bright red when she whipped out her phone and began framing him in her camera.
“I’m taking notes,” Inej scooted behind Nina, looking through her phone since she was the designated Instagram Girlfriend for Nina, the amount of photos they took in the street of her outfits was astounding. “Your skin is glowing, very angelic.” She noted, sipping her drink and then holding her own chest. “It feels kind of bare right?”
“You’re so right, I adore you.” Nina gasped, turned her head and kissed Inej’s hair, she tasted just like the sun and it made Nina grin happily. “I promise you this will change everything,” She handed Inej her phone and then grabbed the beaded necklace she was wearing. Wylan opened his mouth to protest because he didn’t think his best friend should be taking anything off herself to give it to him, it was clearly part of her outfit.
Wylan stayed put as Nina draped it over his neck, making sure each bead and charm was perfectly in place against his skin. She clasped it easily behind his neck and squealed happily, he looked dashing before but the added necklace made him otherworldly. Sure she made it, but it was mostly a compliment to Wylan’s untapped beauty.
“Just breathe, Wy, it’s just for Jes.” Nina reminded him she wasn't about to post these pictures for her thousands of Instagram followers but they were just for Wylan’s boyfriend. She reached down for Wylan’s waist and moved him around gently, she moved a hip, arched his back, nudged his hand a few inches, relaxed his shoulders and finally fluffed his hair up. “Oh my God, perfect, you are so hot, babe.” She scrambled back into position to take his photo, she had no trouble getting in compromising poses to get the shot. She could often be seen on the floor or balancing on structures to make sure Inej looked as perfect as she did in real life.
“Are you just saying that because you’re my best friend?” Wylan looked into the sun and scrunched his nose out of habit, blinking the blaring rays out of his eyes as he turned back to his friends. Inej softly clapped because apparently that had been the shot, Nina took a lot of photos so Wylan could choose between all of them. “I don’t know what it means to be hot.”
“Well, Jesper’s hot, right?” Nina raised an eyebrow and Wylan’s mouth opened as he processed the question.
“Yeah, of course he is.” Wylan didn’t have to think about the answer, just why Nina would even ask that.
“The way you feel when you see him, that’s how people look at you, Wy.” Nina mumbled, sure Jesper and Wylan looked nothing alike and were different types of attractive but the point remained the same. The same out of breath, tight chest, loss of words thing was applicable to both men.
“Shut up, really?” Wylan could feel himself flushing to his ears and protectively brought his hands up to hide them. The way he felt when he saw Jesper was all encompassing, it was hard to focus on anything but the slope of his nose or the boyishness of his smile. Wylan couldn’t comprehend somebody looking at him and forgetting how to speak. “I don’t believe you.” He laid down on his back and grabbed his phone just in time to see Nina had sent him 34 photos of himself.
While Wylan thumbed through photos of himself he did in fact come to terms with the fact that maybe he was handsome, maybe he was hot, because these were really good pictures. He was about fifty percent sure he was nice to look at in some capacity, he thought the necklace was doing a lot of the heavy lifting. Inej and Nina took turns taking photos of each other, eventually Inej did shed Jesper’s hoodie so they could get a few pictures and it stayed off because she felt more comfortable with Nina’s arms wrapped around her neck loosely.
Wylan sent a picture to Jesper, texting him a little sentence that he forgot to show him earlier but this was the look for today. He waited no more than two minutes when he had a reply, a reply that made him sit up dizzily and squeak. Inej and Nina traded glances and stared, waiting for him to explain what the scrambling was about.
“Sorry, Jes replied.” Wylan cleared his throat, he wasn't embarrassed that he was in love with Jesper he just couldn’t believe he’d flopped around in public.
“Well what’d he say, babe?” Nina dropped her arms from around Inej and leaned forward towards her best friend. He just got more pink and shook his head, if he looked at the words on the screen for too long he’d spontaneously combust.
“I-I can’t say it,” Wylan let his phone be yanked out of his hand by Nina, who threw her sunglasses off onto the blanket and prepared to read some absolute filth.
“Ugh, Wy, this literally just says ‘there’s my beautiful sunshine, sun emoji, yellow heart emoji’ what are you freaking out about?” Nina dropped his phone onto the blanket because she thought she’d be reading sexts, not Jesper telling Wylan he was his little sunshine.
“Sorry, I have a crush on him.” Wylan didn’t expect Nina to understand, the way she got complimented was often and by everybody. Inej understood though, because it was a compliment that he meant, that he didn’t want anything from Wylan, just wanted to tell him he was the sun.
“You made it seem like he texted back ‘I can’t wait to pull those tiny shorts down and pound you until you’re shaking’ but no, nothing as exciting as that.” Nina sighed dramatically, she moved to put all her jewelry making supplies away when Wylan reached for them and measured out a length of string longer than his wrist. Of course he’d make Jesper a bracelet too, he wasn’t even here and he was all he could think about.
“That doesn’t sound like Jes.” Inej pulled a face because Jesper would not text that to Wylan, the way he talked about Wylan when he wasn’t in the room could tell her that much. “There’s a sun charm in there.” She helped Wylan poke around the metal charms until they found it and he smiled warmly at her.
“He’d never say that over text,” Wylan mumbled, ears uncomfortably hot and the blush had spread to his chest. The thought of Jesper saying anything even close to that made him feel like his brain has shaken around in his skull. “You don’t think being called sunshine is exciting?”
“Of course he wouldn’t, he’d say it right in your ear, you’ve got a thing for his voice.” Nina said accusingly, finishing off the rest of her drink and dropping the empty can into her tote bag when she swallowed the last drop. “Exciting if I was looking to settle down and get married.”
“Well, they are.” Inej said helpfully, handing Wylan beads one by one when she caught on to his pattern. “Wylan’s not going to want Jesper to say things that people you hook up with say, you know? You’ll never really see them again and Wylan will see Jesper every day.”
“That’s true,” Nina pointed at Wylan and waved her finger around. She’d been looking at things from her perspective and not from Wylan’s, as different as they were she loved him and wanted to understand him. “I couldn’t imagine being called a good slut then hanging out after class the next day, I do not want it.”
“Oh, wow, Neens.” Wylan nearly dropped his bracelet, he’d heard a little about Nina’s adventures but he felt like such a virgin in comparison. He knows he shouldn’t be comparing since they were not the same person but it was a little hard. “I just can’t imagine being vulnerable with a stranger.”
“For me the vulnerable part is knowing someone.” Nina murmured and Wylan made a small noise as he thought about it. That was a great point, an excellent point. He’d been so lucky to find somebody who knew him and loved him for it, but it was entirely possible somebody out there could know him and not want him after a single night. “How does it feel to have a crush for this long? I can’t imagine.”
“Well a crush is different than attraction and that’s different than infatuation and that’s different from yearning and then there’s one-sided unrequited love,” Inej began to mutter under her breath and both Nina and Wylan glanced at her with prying eyes. The way she rattled off all these terms and conditions was the tiniest bit suspicious. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”
“Do you have something you wanna tell us, Nej?” Nina scoffed in playful disbelief, tucking a piece of Inej’s hair behind her ear. It sounded a lot like Inej was in the middle of an infatuated, yearnful, one-sided unrequited love.
“You don’t have to, she’s teasing.” Wylan thought about how it felt to wonder why Jesper’s words and touches meant more to him than the average classmates did and it was incredibly confusing and isolating.
“There’s nothing to tell.” Inej busied herself with drinking down the rest of her mango passionfruit cocktail and Nina hummed mischievously.
“I’m taking that as a challenge.” If there’s something Nina could do it was snoop. She had so many connections she’d find the answer before Inej was even sure herself. “What a gay little bracelet, he’ll love it.” She smiled when Wylan put Jesper’s grey, blue and brown bracelet around his wrist for safekeeping.
“I hope so.” Wylan gently fiddled with the beads around his wrist and straightened out the sun and stars he’d chosen as the centerpieces. “For me it feels like everything he does is warm and exciting. I’ve had a crush on him for years and so far it hasn’t gone away, I think it’s gotten worse, or I guess better. There’s so much to know about him and I feel really lucky to be there with him.”
“A crush that lasts years even when you’re with the person.” Nina said this like it was a foreign language she didn’t know and she was the language collector of the group, she was fluent in at least three and learning two more for fun. “Maybe I’m just not there yet.”
“It’s fine if you’re never there, maybe it’s just not what works for you.” Wylan watched as Nina scooped up all her supplies and put them into her bag then got to her feet. “Where are you going?” He didn’t have a good feeling about it and it was confirmed when she reapplied her lip gloss.
“Gonna find someone to take our photo.” Nina said this like she hadn’t already decided on the man that had bought Wylan a drink.
“How unpredictable is she?” Inej softly bumped her shoulder against Wylan’s as she scooted closer, this was not the first time Nina had flagged down a stranger to get group pictures taken.
“Extremely predictable.” Wylan knew Nina very well considering how long they’d known each other. This was textbook Nina. To prove her point she was bringing her very human evidence over. Wylan already believed he was maybe sort of attractive but she wanted him to hear it from somebody who wasn’t his friend, who wouldn’t have a reason to tell him what he wanted to hear.
Nina returned with the man making eyes at Wylan, he couldn’t have been older than 21, just old enough to get a drink for Wylan but not old enough for it to be really weird. The photoshoot part went fine, Nina, Inej and Wylan had taken enough photos together to know the drill. Nina made them confident and playful and free and it made for the best photos.
Then when Nina laid on her stomach and scrolled through the pictures he’d taken before she released him back into the wild, he’d asked Wylan for his number and Wylan politely said he had a boyfriend. The man said it would’ve been sinful if Wylan didn’t have one and that Jesper was incredibly lucky. He went on his way without a problem when Nina gave him her seal of approval, sometimes strangers took blurry unflattering pictures and she’d have to enlist somebody else.
“Oh.” Wylan handed his phone over to Inej who leaned into Nina, both of their curious heads bumping lightly in the middle. They stared down at Wylan’s phone to see Jesper had sent him a screenshot of his lockscreen, Wylan’s beach photo. Nina gasped loudly, grabbing Wylan’s knee and shaking him lightly.
“Look at you, I told you the shorts were worth it.” Nina purred, hooking her arm with Inej’s and snuggling into her very warm neck. “Keep the necklace, you look so stunning in it, babe.”
“It’s okay, you made it for you.” Wylan quickly unhooked the necklace and handed it back over, Nina pouted but let Inej put it back on her. “You’re always right but it’s just weird to wear something I’m not used to, I’m just trying to find myself, what feels like me.”
“You’re doing a great job, Wy.” Inej reassured him, she was on a similar journey when she’d met Nina at the start of the year and she's completely bloomed with her help and support. “I get it, I really do. Wearing whatever you want is weird when you don’t know what you want. It’s nice to have Neens help.”
“Aw shucks, guys.” Nina squeezed Inej tightly and leaned over to noisily press a kiss to her hair. “Both of you have full access to my closet and I’ll take you shopping whenever you want. Whatever makes you guys happy, makes me happier.”
“Thanks, for everything. Even if you did advocate for me to flirt with an older man for a second.” Wylan reached over with his foot and returned the favor by kicking Nina weakly on the knee. She grabbed his foot and gently intertwined her fingers with his toes. Wylan could have screamed. Nina’s grip with her hand was unfortunately stronger than Wylan’s foot would ever be.
“That was the fakest ID I’ve ever seen,” Nina reassured Wylan that no this was not an older man but one the same age, desperate to impress his peers. “I have Mandarin with his sister and believe me, he is not 21.”
“And you couldn’t have told me this?” Wylan huffed, still trying to pry his foot out of Nina’s grasp but she held on tight. “What if I had some sort of anxiety episode?”
“I had to teach you a lesson. If you don’t believe I think you’re hot, then I’ll use someone’s brother’s genuine attraction to you to prove my point.” Nina let go of his foot after taking a few photos, some of them including her brightly smiling like she’d won a great prize. “I think you should tell Jes cause that was so funny.”
“Maybe for you.” Wylan wasn’t actually any more or less anxious over the interaction, maybe a little more self-conscious but that wasn’t really new. Nina worked in mysterious ways and bottom line it usually did work. “Should I pay him back if you know him?”
“I don’t know him, I know his sister, I know of him.” Nina waved her hand around and turned her phone around to share her lockscreen was the three of them in their bathing suits squished together with huge grins on their faces. “Can I post your feet or do you want them blurred?”
“Why would you blur his feet?” Inej asked quietly and Nina petted her head with the hand that hadn’t been interlocked with her best friend’s toes.
“Maybe I should be more confident in my feet too.” Wylan did not think about whether or not his feet were attractive, he certainly wasn’t going to start now. “She thinks I should charge a fee.”
“Interesting.” Inej, bless her heart, hadn’t heard of this before, so she just smiled and nodded. “Then don’t post mine either, so we can make a profit.”
“Our foot pic empire.” Nina snorted, shoving her phone into her tote bag and getting up off the blanket again. “Shall we get wet before the sun goes down?”
“I’m so glad you said that, yes please.” Wylan sighed in relief, he’d wanted to swim but didn’t want to do it alone but also didn’t want to ask them in case this wasn’t a swimmy beach trip. He was so happy it was, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone swimming that wasn’t summer camp or gym class.
“Cheers to getting wet!” Inej grabbed onto Nina’s hand and was yanked to her feet. She offered a hand to Wylan and he took it, pulled to his feet as he carefully tossed his new bracelets into Nina’s bag. He’d be heartbroken if he lost them in the sea, he really would be. Inej followed suit and Nina sighed, usually she’d risk it but she loved her friends and liked to think she wove the memories of this day into her jewelry.
“Absolutely sopping fucking wet!” Nina cheered as the three of them bounded across the sand, laughing and gasping for air and narrowly avoiding holes dug in the sand. Wylan wanted to dig one later, try his hand at a little sand castle with a moat.
Nina plopped into the water first, followed by Inej who laid on her back happily floating. Wylan smiled so big it hurt, looked up at the sun and then sank under the water so every inch of him was covered.
There were a lot of things that were hard, but loving was never hard for him. Loving his friends, loving Jesper, loving the sea, loving feeling like he was worth love. When he popped back up he looked at Nina, and spewed water out at her like he was a fountain. She screamed at him, charging towards him as fast as the water would allow her and tried to dunk him.
While the two of them pawed at each other and threw water and lost their balance and snorted from laughing so hard, Inej floated happily with a soft smile on her face. She took being at peace for granted, and now that there’d been a point in her life where it’d been taken from her she treasured each second of it.
Here in the shallows of the sea with her two greatest friends, she was at peace. She laughed in surprise when Nina emerged from the water beside her and gave her a noisy kiss on the cheek. Just checking up on her before going back to chasing Wylan around in circles.
Eventually they stopped playing such demanding games and started pretending they know how to do gymnastics under water. Nina tried and failed and tried to do a handstand while Wylan tried to talk her through it but kept keeling over with laughter. They got to the point where Wylan was sitting on Nina’s shoulders and they’d somehow started playing a game of keepaway with a group of random children.
Wylan thought a lot about what it was like to be a child, sometimes he felt like he still was. If there was anything he’d have to really accept was that now, if he was a child, he was a safe one, a loved one. As they got further away from Inej he grabbed onto one of her hands and tugged her along, making her snort and hold his hand harder.
The sea felt like a big blanket, and the three of them were happily sharing a bed. He never wanted to leave, of course he’d have to, but he wondered what it might have been like to live by the sea. Maybe he’d be happier, or feel more free.
He felt free now, sitting on Nina’s shoulders as she boasted about them being so much better at hitting beach balls than literal ten year olds. He kind of felt like he was on top of the world, if the world was his best friend’s playing with him at the beach, and honestly? It kind of was.