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“I’m sorry.”
“Hmm? Angel, is this about overwatering my succulents? I told you it’s not a big deal. They know better than to disappoint me no matter how much they’ve been drowned.”
“No, not that.”
“Then for getting crumbs all over the Bentley’s seats during our last trip to London because you just couldn’t bear to wait a little longer before tearing into your packet of biscuits?”
“No, not that either.”
“Okaaaaay, maybe for dragging me to that museum exhibit on the History of Tartan last week?”
“I’m not actually sorry for that one.”
“’Course you’re not. I was only monumentally bored all day.”
“Crowley, I’ve already agreed to go to that vintage car show next month with you to make up for it.”
“I know. But that’s in a few weeks so I get to complain in the interim.”
“I shouldn’t expect anything less, my dear.”
“You knew what you signed up for, living with me.”
“I did. And I wouldn’t change a thing. Only…”
“Don’t pause ominously. That’s a terrible place to pause ominously.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Again. I didn’t mean to imply any regrets, I promise. I just think I ought to apologize to you.”
“I can keep guessing what for, angel, but you should probably just tell me. It’ll be a lot faster. I could spend hours listing petty transgressions. Like that time when we visited California in 1996 and you wouldn’t let me miracle the Hollywood sign to say ‘Hollyweed’ again.”
“I stand by that decision! And that absolutely does not count as a ‘transgression,’ Crowley, my goodness. Besides, you weren’t responsible for the first time in ’76. That was a student.”
“Took credit for it, though.”
“Of course, you did. You took credit for the Compassionate Use Act as well, didn’t you?”
“No, that was you, angel. I didn’t want something on my record with a name like that. Hell would laugh me into the Pits.”
“Oh, you’re right. I remember. Gabriel never even asked what it was for. I don’t think he would’ve understood its purpose, anyway.”
“There was also that time when you came back from Edinburgh.”
“What?”
“Listing transgressions. You made me watch Hamlet with you in the yard. Standing. It was bloody summer, angel. I was in all black.”
“You’re being dramatic, dear. It wasn’t all that hot. It never gets hot here. Besides, after your hard work making it popular, I felt we should appreciate it properly!”
“Appreciation was far from my mind, having to watch a prince with mommy issues and daddy iss-“
“I was very grateful to you.”
“Nhh.”
“I believe you’ve distracted me again. I had something I was trying to say, you know.”
“Don’t let me stop you, angel.”
“That’s exactly what you’ve been doing.”
“It’s called making conversation. Maybe you’ve heard of it.”
“You’re a menace.”
“Can’t say I think much of this apology so far.”
“I haven’t started yet!”
“Well, get on with it so I can accept it and your eyebrows will stop doing the pinchy thing.”
“Pinchy? I don’t – no, no, I’m not getting off track again. You don’t even know you’ll accept it, Crowley.”
“’Course I do.”
“But you don’t.”
“Angel, I let you turn the Bentley yellow. Kind of. Well, I forgave you for it after. I let you miracle a tartan bike rack on the boot, for Someone’s Sake.”
“I’ve done far worse things than that, Crowley. You know that.”
“…Shit, have you been trying to apologize for something serious this whole time?”
“Yes, actually.”
“Oh. I thought we were all done with those. I hate when we have to do the serious apology thing.”
“I know you do, but it’s necessary sometimes. So, I’m sorry.”
“I fo-“
“Let me finish, please.”
“…Fine. Go on.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t turn back.”
“What’re you talking ab – oh. Oh, angel, don’t…”
“I should have, Crowley. I wanted to. I wanted it more than anything, and I should have. So, I’m sorry.”
“Angel, that was over thirty years ago. We’ve been over this. I understand why you left, okay? It was really complicated, and there was a lot neither of us understood at the time. And the Metatron was – I mean, we know all the tricks he pulled. He was going to get you on that lift no matter what, to get you away. Even if he had to physically force you.”
“I know. I know all of that, and I’m being silly even bringing it up-“
“No, you’re not. Come on, angel. Remember, you’re not-“
“’Going to let myself stew silently in my anxiety anymore and will come to you about my worries.’ Right. I remember. It’s hard to, sometimes, still.”
“Why is this on your mind?”
“I suppose I was spiralling a bit, my love. I’m sorry for mentioning it.”
“Don’t be. And I forgive you, angel, always. I forgave you for that back then, and for everything else just like you’ve forgiven me, the unforgiveable, for everything I did wrong, too. That’s why we’re here, angel. In our home.”
“It’s just that…you trusted me, and I hurt you. I didn’t think I would ever regain that trust.”
“Well, we’re not humans. We have decades, centuries, millennia to rebuild trust. But also, it’ll take more than one trauma-informed decision to destroy trust six thousand years in the making. And I know I hurt you, too. And others hurt both of us. And others put us in the positions where we hurt each other.”
“I’m sorry for making you tell me all this again. I just struggle, I guess, to think I…”
“Deserve to be happy? You do.”
“To think I deserve you, my dear. Which is roughly the same thing, I concede.”
“Ngk. Angel, we – we deserve each other. And I will tell you as many times as you need to hear it. I’ll tell you again in another bloody century, and the century after, and every day until the sun burns out – until you believe it, whichever comes first. You deserve to eat, to smile, to laugh. Always. No caveats.”
“Oh…Crowley. You…are the dearest thing in the world.”
“Nah, you’re the – the dearierest.”
“That’s not a word.”
“It could be.”
“But it isn’t.”
“Will was always making up new words. Humans are always making up new words. ‘Pizzazz’ is only like, a century old. I don’t see why I can’t take part in the fun, too.”
“I have never heard you use the word ‘pizzazz.’”
“Could if I wanted to. Maybe I will now. Add some pizzazz to my vocabulary.”
“Oh dear…”
“Point is – my point is – you get my point, right?”
“I do. I just wish I didn’t feel this way! I should be over it by now.”
“Don’t be upset with yourself for still healing. Your – our wounds are deep ones. Even humans can spend thirty years healing and still have off-days. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying, or not working. It is. Okay, angel?”
“Okay, my dear. My dearest. I’m sor – no. No, I…thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Anytime.”
“Even though I get crumbs all over the Bentley and secretly sweettalk your plants behind your back?”
“Yes. Yes, always, even though you have no respect for our car and even though you suck at sneaking around when you whisper nonsense to my fern.”
“It’s not nonsense to tell it that it deserves love and a safe home, and that it has those things.”
“…Tsk. Guess not.”
“Besides, I haven’t seen you yell at your plants in at least six years, darling. Your regime is crumbling as we speak.”
“Eh. Just takes so much energy to dredge up the negativity these days.”
“It’s for the best. They’re still the loveliest plants on the island, even without it.”
“Don’t let them get an ego, angel. The ivy’s already been acting out, climbing past the trellis.”
“I think it looks beautiful.”
“It’s alright.”
“Well. All of that settled…I do believe we ought to get out of this bed at some point.”
“Ohhhhhh, must we? I’m comfortable.”
“We’ve been laying here for hours, Crowley.”
“Exactly. Look, it’s almost dark again outside. May as well just stay here till the morning.”
“That’s what you said yesterday. And the day before. If we keep this up, the neighbours are going to think we finally kicked the bucket. They’re already starting to get suspicious that we haven’t aged in all this time.”
“Eh. Good to confuse humans sometimes. Keeps them on their toes.”
“You’re an utter scoundrel, my love.”
“Yup. That’s me. Best keep me where you can keep an eye on me.”
“Oh, I intend to. For eternity, in fact.”
“And, for the next several hours, you can do so from this bed.”
“Oh, alright. You wily thing, you. Temptation accomplished.”