Work Text:
Noah was drunk.
It was a common misconception that anything he ate or drank had no effect on him. That wasn’t true. A lot of the time he didn’t eat or drink simply because he’d lost his taste buds—eating was no fun when everything tasted like wet cardboard. Pair that with never being hungry, and you had the perfect ingredients for a no carbs diet. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t affected entirely. He couldn’t gain weight and he couldn’t lose it, but food and drink still passed through him in some way. What that entailed he wasn’t exactly sure—the only use he had for the toilet was to scare the shit out of Ronan with his pants down—and he wasn’t exactly eager to investigate it. But it did go through him. Which meant that, as someone who weighed exactly nothing, ate exactly nothing, and drank exactly nothing, he had no metabolism to think of.
This was an inane, inconsequential fact in his everyday life. But when Henry Cheng invites you to a house party and presents you with a platter of shots, you learn fast that on zero metabolism, you get very drunk very quickly.
“Adam!” Noah shouted, a bit too loudly, shoving through a group of chattering girls to get to him. They barely noticed. “Come hang out with me!”
Adam blinked, his usual stiff posture slackened and relaxed. Noah wondered if it was from the party, or if it was because, for once, he wasn’t studying or working. His cheeks were flushed and it made his freckles stand out.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” he slurred, blinking up at him. “Do you want to jump off the balcony with me? I promise it won’t hurt, there’s a pool at the bottom.”
At that, Adam’s face tightened. When he was alive, Noah had been fairly well off, but even he could agree that owning not one, not two, not three, but four pools was a bit excessive for one house. If he asked Henry himself, however, he’d probably remark on how they’d originally planned for five and how disappointing it was that it didn’t pan out.
“No thanks,” Adam said, with a regretful shake of the head.
Noah pouted. That was disappointing. But he could find fun in other ways. Ronan was not far from Adam, leaning against a marble pillar, beer in hand, looking broody and dark and boring. Noah would have to change that, propose something crazy to stir him up (like jumping off the balcony), but he was distracted by a movement.
Another tray of shots was brought out by an impeccably dressed waiter and Noah made grabby hands at it.
He may have stumbled, and it may have been over nothing.
Adam scoured him with his gaze. “How much have you had to drink?”
“One shot,” he said truthfully.
Adam raised a brow. “Seriously?”
“Yep! Now time for another,” he said. He used more brain power this time to control his steps. It made his head hurt. Why was it so hard to walk? It was easier to move through walls than this.
He liked being drunk. In a stupid way it made him feel more centred in his body, more alive. He hadn’t felt this… present in a while. He missed it.
He didn’t notice the ground rising to meet him until an arm was wrapped around his waist to stop his fall. “Oh,” he giggled. “That was a close one.”
His saviour was Adam, who sent him an unimpressed look. “You’re a complete light weight.”
“Obviously,” he said. “So?”
“So, that’s probably enough for you,” Adam said. “Until you have some water.”
“I don’t like water,” Noah said glumly. “It just leaks out of me. Literally. One sip and it comes out of my pores, and I don’t think I even have any!”
Adam stared. “That’s disturbing.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Okay,” Adam said, eyebrows drawn in concentration. “You sit here for now.” He pushed him onto a fancy armchair. “And I’ll go get you some water anyway because I can’t think of anything else.”
“But I want to have fun,” Noah whined.
“And you will have fun. After you sober up a bit.”
”But I’m a ghost! I don’t need to sober up, it's like the one perk of being dead!”
Adam blinked like he’d forgotten that fact, but he quickly brushed it away. “Touché. But I’m the designated driver, and as such it's my responsibility to make sure all of you are okay by the end of the night. Ronan. Block Noah from moving.”
Ronan, who’d been so still Noah was sure he’d become a part of the pillar he leant on, sprung into action.
“Whats gotten you so constipated, Parrish? Let him have his fun, he’s dead.”
“You two are the worst,” Adam said, and stalked off to get… Noah had forgotten. His head was fuzzy and his mouth was dry and he felt amazing.
Noah obediently sat, not needing Ronan to make him do anything. He started picking at the buttons of the armchair. They were diligently sewn on, but he could tell they would be so satisfying to pry off. Ronan started picking at them too. Noah tilted his head, his fuzzy head assessing him. Ronan looked flushed, tipsy, but not excessively so.
“You’re not drunk?” Noah said.
“Not tonight.” Noah heard the meaning beneath those words. Ronan’s use of alcohol as a vice. His determination to not make it so anymore.
“Nice,” he said.
Ronan snorted. “Nice? That’s it.”
“What do you want me to say? That’s fucking boring?”
Ronan smiled. “It is, isn’t it?”
“Maybe. But you’re better at talking than drinking anyway.”
“That’s not remotely true.”
“Yes it is,” Noah insisted. “You make me feel better all the time, and none of those times have been when you’re drunk.”
Ronan stared at him, looking softer than he’d ever seen him but he didn’t get a chance to respond because Adam had returned, water and Gansey in tow.
Adam rolled his eyes. “I told Gansey it's not a big deal, but he insisted on checking up on you.”
“Adam, you were practically frantic trying to fill up that water jug and that was after I caught you wandering around panicked because you couldn’t find the kitchen. Was it surprising I was a bit cautious?”
“He’s a ghost!” Adam snapped. Noah wanted to say ‘exactly’ but he didn’t think that would help. “And it's not my fault this house is so damn big.”
Ronan poked Adam in the ribs. “Aw, you care.”
Adam shot him a glare then crouched down in front of Noah, his blue eyes wide and comforting. He filled up a glass with water and pressed it to his hands.
Noah looked at it sadly. “I don’t want to leak.”
“Leak?” asked Gansey.
Ronan shrugged.
“I know,” Adam said kindly. “But you have to try.”
Adam could be very persuasive at times with his nice eyes and nice hair. “Okay,” Noah said, taking a sip. He felt the water slip through him but, surprisingly, it didn’t leak out profusely. He just felt vaguely wet. Huh, perhaps water actually would help him get less drunk. Who woulda thought. Adam, Ronan and Gansey were all watching him, and he smiled under their gaze.
“I love you guys,” he said, suddenly feeling very warm.
They shared a look. “Seriously,” he said, precariously placing the cup on the arm rest and hugging the nearest of them. The victim was Ronan who grumbled, but crouched a little to assist in the hug. “You’re the freaking best. I couldn’t ask for better friends.”
Gansey had a hand pressed to his chest, looking strangely touched. Ronan shoved an arm around him, keeping Noah upright. And Adam, worst of all, looked down at the ground, like he didn’t believe it. That was unacceptable.
Noah wrestled out of Ronan’s grip and spung towards Adam, capturing his hand between his. “Adam, look at me.”
He was aware of the fuzziness of his head, and the slur of his words, and the suspiciously loud sound of a glass breaking, and he was aware that one sip of water had done nothing to dampen his tipsiness, but he’d never been so sure of his words before. “You are incredible, okay? So you need to shut that head up for once and just fucking listen to me.”
Silence stretched between them. The only sounds were the bass of the music and the chatter of other guests, and then Ronan started cracking up. He slapped a hand across Noah’s back as he wheezed. Gansey started grinning, and even Adam cracked a smile.
”Thank you, Noah,” he said. His neck to his cheeks was red, and his smile turned shy. Which meant that he believed him. Good.
“You’re welcome.”
Adam moved to pull away from him. Noah held on. The movement focussed his brain on Adam’s hands, still clamped between his. And Noah suddenly became aware of how soft they felt. He didn’t let go, instead prying them apart and staring at them. They were calloused and dry in places but they were also long and elegant. He couldn’t tear his eyes away.
“You know, you have really really nice hands.”
Adam blinked.
“Get in line, Czerny,” Ronan said, but he was smiling, sharp and shark-like at Adam.
“Erm, thanks.”
He sounded self-conscious which also wasn’t acceptable.
“You do,” he said. “Tell him Gansey.”
Gansey adjusted his glasses. He appraised Adam’s hands analytically, like he was assessing an area for Glendower, before nodding. “Can confirm, they’re very nice.”
“What about my opinion?” Ronan growled.
“You’re biased,” Gansey said.
“Like you’re not. You’re just as obsessed with him as I am,” Ronan said, half-jokingly.
”He is,” Noah announced, his drunk self slipping a secret. Gansey was in love with Blue, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t find others attractive. Including Adam.
“I am?” Gansey said.
”He is?” Ronan said simultaneously.
Noah nodded his head enthusiastically and immediately regretted it. His head swum.
Adam looked very overwhelmed.
“So basically everyone wants to make out with my boyfriend,” Ronan grumbled like he was mad. But Noah could tell he wasn’t displeased.
”Yep!” he said, confirming his own part in it too.
“What is happening?” asked a very confused Adam.
“Whatever it is,” Gansey murmured. “Blue’s going to love hearing about it tomorrow.”
Blue. “I miss her.” She couldn’t make it because she had Crochet Club, which was fair. After he stopped laughing about the fact that she went to Crochet Club. He’d go too if he could get his fingers to collaborate.
”So do I,” said Gansey mournfully.
Ronan grumbled further but it wasn’t in protest.
“Gansey, you should write some poetry for her,” Noah realized. He tried to tug at Gansey’s polo’s shirt in insistence, but it was so tight he couldn’t get a hold. “Tell her how much you love her!”
“That’s a terrible idea,” said Adam.
“No no no, it’s brilliant,” Ronan said with a wide grin of perfect teeth. “Gansey, she’d love it.”
“You really think so?” Gansey asked. He was flushed from drink, his hair messier than usual, but his eyes were bright with he was seriously considering it.
“Definitely,” Noah and Ronan said in synch.
“Okay, I’m going to do it,” Gansey said, face set in determination.
Adam worried his hair. “Gansey, you’re not in the right mind, I really don’t think—“
“It’s okay Adam. I’ll make it so good she’ll have to love it.”
“That’s the spirit,” said Ronan with twitching lips.
“I can help you with it if you want?” proposed Noah.
Gansey blinked at him. “I didn’t know you’d written poetry before.”
“I haven’t, but now seems like a pretty good time to start.”
Gansey thought it over for a moment before slinging an arm around his shoulder with a grin. “Perfect. Now do you think she’d prefer a haiku or limerick?”
“What happened to drinking water?” asked Adam but Noah and Gansey were already off to make a masterpiece for Blue.
They brainstormed and wrote lyrics on a napkin as they couldn’t find paper. Gansey had left his notebook at home and they couldn’t find the study, the house was so big. Henry was no help. He was occupied with ordering a jumping castle for the party. Being close to midnight, he wasn’t having much success. Noah and Gansey sat, heads down over the napkin, murmuring and scribbling their ideas. It became clear quickly that neither were very gifted in the art of poetry writing but that fact became unimportant after a couple more shots. Noah’s muscles felt like they’d been dipped in molasses, every moment felt like wading through thick, warm liquid. Noah was giggling with every word, his head knocking with Gansey’s as he kept yanking the pen from him. The top button of Gansey’s polo had become undone, and his brows were furrowed in concentration. Noah wouldn’t say he was exactly trying to sabotage Gansey, but he was certainly trying to have some fun. Finally, Gansey finished scratching out a word, then slammed the pen down.
“That’s it,” he said, eyes shining. “We actually did it. We made the perfect poem for Blue.”
Noah blinked slowly, his brain wrestling through the liquor. He very much agreed.
Adam looked down at it, his arms crossed, and his face tense. “Don’t you think you could edit a bit? Smooth out the rough parts?”
“What rough parts?” Noah asked.
Adam’s face twitched with a smile.
Gansey’s face was flushed and his glasses had slipped so far down his nose, that he may as well have been wearing none, and he was staring at the scribbled lyrics they’d written in awe. “It’s magnificent. When do you think I should perform it for her?”
Five minutes later, they’d said goodbye to Henry (plus jumping castle) and were packed in Adam’s breakdown of a car, Adam at the helm. Ronan was blasting EDM and sticking his head out of the window like a dog. Adam rubbed at his temples.
“Ronan, roll up the window. I don’t think I’d like you headless.”
“Yeah where would you get head from then?”
“You should get your head out of your ass, your head’s not that good.”
“That’s not what you said last night, headass.”
“If you two make one more ‘head’ joke, I’m going to get a headache,” butted in Gansey.
Noah grinned. “Nice one, Gansey! High five!”
They went for it but missed. The brain and coordination weren’t the greatest of friends while drunk. Luckily, for him he wore no seatbelt (one other perk of being dead!), and so he laughed and cosied himself next to Gansey instead, resting his head on his shoulder.
The car hit a bump and groaned and grumbled unhappily. The engine sounded like it was being beaten to death (Noah would know), but Adam didn’t seem too worried.
Before long, they puttered up to Monmouth and clambered up to the second floor. Blue was awaiting them, lounging on Gansey’s bed, wool and crochet hooks in hand.
Noah bounded up to her. “How was Crochet Club?”
“Oh hi,” she said with a smile. “There’s no real club, that’s just what I call lying in bed with a headache and forcing myself to make a hat.” She presented the crochet beanie in front of him. “Like it?”
“It’s awesome!” he said, admiring the intricate patterns of bright purple and blues, before realizing he was getting distracted. “We have a surprise for you! Well, Gansey does.”
“Oh, do you?” she said, and raised a brow at Gansey, who was standing characteristically formal in front of them. Ronan and Adam were half wrestling, fighting over the perfect spot to watch what was to come.
“Yes,” Gansey said after a gulp. “I wrote a poem for you. I call it, ‘Blue.’”
“Original,” she said.
Ronan piped up. “Otherwise known as, ‘You Make My Balls So Blue.’”
Gansey shot him a look. “It is not .”
“It’s not far off the truth,” mumbled Adam.
“It’s very romantic,” said Noah with a snigger.
Blue looked unimpressed. “Let me see it then.”
And then came the performance. Richard Gansey III, attempted to smooth out the crinkles in his shirt, leapt onto the table in a surprising feat of athleticism, held his shoulders back and his head up high, whipped out the napkin and read out his poetry. He was fully confident, full of emotion, and completely without shame:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
You are the best and also are Blue.
Can you use the same word twice in a rhyme?
Too bad, poetry can get with the times.
I crave your touch every day
I don’t know what else to say
But Blue Sargeant you're the one for me
If you were a wasp I’d let you sting me
Gansey finished with a flourish of his hand and it was like someone had been shot; Gansey was the manic perpetrator, Noah the happy accomplice. Everyone else, a terrified witness, mouths agape at the murder that occurred right in front of them.
No one said anything. Blue sat in complete shock, one of her hair clips dangling out of her hair. Adam was rubbing a hand over his face and Ronan’s body was shaking with silent laughter. Gansey, still standing on the table, looking down expectantly at Blue, a proud flush to his skin.
And then came the giggles. One moment, Blue was blinking slowly, a combination of astonishment and confusion on her face, and then her face split into a bright smile and she was laughing. Her shoulders shook almost violently and the loudest, sweetest giggle spilled out of her lips.
Ronan let out a bark of laughter too, and Adam began smiling too.
Gansey’s brow creased but he looked pleased. He climbed down from the table, only stumbling a little bit, and approached the nearly catatonic Blue—she was almost frozen in laughter, barely able to breath from it.
“Did you… like it?”
Her head snapped up, another bubble of laughter escaping. “What the fuck was that, Gansey?”
Gansey looked incredibly earnest when he said, “It was… poetry.”
She burst out laughing. “‘If you were a wasp, I’d let you sting me’? Do you even realize how messed up that is?”
Gansey nodded. ”Well, yes. But I wanted to express my undying love for—“
”And ‘you are the best and also Blue’?” she said with a raised brow. “Surely you could’ve come up with something more eloquent.”
At that, Gansey had the decency to look a bit rueful. “I’ll admit, it wasn’t my best work.”
Blue shook her head with a grin. “It was a masterpiece,” she said. “A fucking tragedy too.”
Blue might as well have proposed, Gansey looked so deliriously happy. His smile turned shy and boyish, a pink rising to his cheeks to match the color of his polo. “I’m glad you enjoyed it so.”
Her smile was fond. “You’re so ridiculous.” She moved forward to press a hand to Gansey’s forehead. “How much have you had to drink?”
“Not that much,” he murmured. “I love you.”
Ronan made puking noises, and Adam rolled his eyes but both looked happy for them. Blue and Gansey didn’t seem to care or notice.
“Love you too,” she said, still smiling. Her gaze dipped to his lips, and her eyes turned sad. She pulled away. “Now I can’t decide whether I want to burn or frame that napkin.”
Gansey looked aghast and whipped it behind his back. “You wouldn’t!”
“Oh she would,” said Adam. “And if she doesn’t, I will.”
“Don’t worry, Gansey. I won’t destroy it,” she said, but she sent Adam a look that signaled nothing good.
“It wasn’t all me,” Gansey admitted. “Noah helped out.”
Pleased to be mentioned, Noah shot up straight, and smirked. “Only a little bit, Gansey came up with the good bits.”
“I’m still wondering whether “rhyme’ and ‘times’ count,” said Adam.
“I’m still wondering where the good parts are,” countered Ronan.
Gansey went to protest, but was cut off by a long and loud yawn from Blue. Gansey drew closer to her, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. It slipped back.
Ronan crossed his arms. “Well past your bedtime is it?”
“Just because you guys never sleep, doesn’t make it normal,” she said.
No one could oppose that. Noah felt the last of the alcohol seep through him.
“Now, if you don’t mind,” she said, flopping back into the bed and dragging Gansey with her. “I’m going to sleep.”
While efficient, the downside to having a bed in the middle of the living room was the lack of any privacy, whatsoever. Gansey happily joined her, only just managing to ruck off his Oxfords before she tugged him under the covers. Everyone averted their gaze.
Noah pouted. “I never got to jump out of the balcony.”
Ronan cocked his head. “I can push you out the window again if you want?”
Noah went to protest but after some quick thought, cut himself short. “Deal, but only if we set up that inflatable pool underneath.” It was the closest way to simulate jumping into one of Henry’s many fancy ass pools.
“Already on it,” Ronan said and got up, and started rummaging through cupboards and boxes in search of it. Blue complained about the noise but he continued. Noah went to help but Adam nudged his shoulder. His arms were crossed, and his lips were twitched into a smile.
“It’s nice to see you so… present,” he said.
Warmth flooded through him. If he were alive, his skin would be flushed. But he wasn’t. Noah smiled back, but it didn’t reach his eyes. ”Wish it could happen more. I’ve gotta take these opportunities when I can so you guys don’t forget about me.”
Adam looked at him, his eyes bright and watchful. Noah felt raw and exposed under his gaze. “Noah,” he said softly. “No matter what happens, we’ll never forget you.”
Noah ducked his head, something undefinable twisting through him. On the one hand, it was a relief. Noah always imagined that once he passed on, if he ever did, they would move on too. He would become barely a memory. But on the other hand, he didn’t want them to live without him. He wanted to live too. It was a useless thought. He felt his fingertips dip out of existence, a numbness crawling through him. Then Ronan grunted and let out a string of curses. “Where the hell is this thing?”
”I think it’s in the bathroom,” said Adam.
Ronan’s head shot up. “Couldn’t you have said that earlier? And aren’t you the designated driver? Shouldn't you be stopping this?”
Adam shrugged. “I got you guys home, that’s the extent of my responsibility and energy.”
Ronan grumbled but made his way to the bathroom. He found the inflatable pool and ten minutes later, the pool was inflated and filled with water and Ronan and Noah were positioned at the open window.
“You sure?”
“Very.”
Then Ronan pushed him and Noah was falling.
The numbness was gone, he just felt a surge through his body, the wind rushing past and through him, and when he landed in the tiny plastic pool, water sprayed upwards. He felt no pain, only adrenaline and giddiness.
Noah rolled over in the pool, stared up at the stars and Ronan’s toothy grin sticking out from the window. “Again,” he said.
They managed two more dives but were intercepted by Blue who threatened she’d cut their balls off, roast the remains, and hide it all in their food, if they didn’t stop. The tired crazed look in her eyes and the fork she was yielding as a weapon had the boys clutching their crotches protectively. Including Noah.
The flat, finally, grew quiet. Blue and Gansey were wrapped around each other, faces smoothed out and relaxed from sleep, the crochet hat wrestled onto Gansey’s head. They looked so content, Noah’s chest twinged. Adam and Ronan were heading to Ronan’s room, yawning and sleepy-eyed. They would also have each other. That left only Noah. He stood there and looked sadly at his room, where he’d sit in silence and loneliness for the entire night.
Adam headed into the room, but Ronan paused at the door frame. He studied Noah with dark eyes, his brows drawn in. “Are you just going to keep standing there like a dumbass?”
”What?” Noah whispered.
“Sleep with us.” Noah balked and Ronan rolled his eyes. “Not like that, just… sleep in the bed, with us.”
Noah just stood there.
“Fuck, don’t make this so hard. Come in or don’t. Whatever.”
Ronan padded into his room, not waiting for an answer. He left the door open in invitation. Noah wrapped his arms around himself, gnawed at his inner cheek, before he shook his head.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he pushed through the door and practically jumped into the bed where Ronan and Adam were settling into.
Both of them grunted in pain.
“For fucks sake, Noah,” Ronan growled.
”Hey guys.”
Noah smiled, wriggling around and flopping over them until he was lying in between them. He wrapped his arms around Adam’s middle, who let out a tired but pleased noise. “Now you cuddle me, Ronan.”
Ronan swore again but obliged, wrapping his arms around him. ”Fuck, you’re freezing,” Ronan complained.
”You guys even out then,” mumbled Adam.
Ronan didn’t reply and then there was silence, only the sound of gentle even breaths.
Tucked in between them, Noah had never felt more solid. Ronan’s arms were strong and protective around him, and Adam was impossibly soft and warm against him.
Noah sighed into it, melting into the sheets. His head fuzzy not from alcohol this time but contentment. He had friends he loved, and they loved him back.
He pressed his face to Adam’s shoulder, hair tickling his cheek, and closed his eyes.
In the morning, though there was no room for it, Gansey and Blue joined them all too.
For once, the night passed quickly.