Chapter Text
The water dripped from the ceiling.
Drip, drip, dripping. Always dripping. Landing in puddles, here and there. Pooling on the cracked concrete streets, feeding the glowing mushrooms growing on the sides of the buildings, the struggling moss sprouting in clumps between the cracks in the road.
The vac-crews would bustle by and eagerly suck it up into their glass tanks, hurrying away to add it to the town’s stores. Eagerly pumped into the cisterns and storage bays. It was very important that they did; any water left to pool could cause black mold to sprout. And of course, the growbeds were always thirsty, always demanding more and more water and fertilizer.
Not to mention the Oxygen Farm…
Iskall found himself thinking on this, as a drop of water landed on his hair. He brushed it off, and turned back to look at the ceiling.
“Mumbo, it’s leaking again,” he sighed, tucking his robotic hand inside his sleeve. Iskall’s green hoodie was badly ripped and torn, with dozens of mismatched patches all over it. It was in excellent shape, all things considered.
“Yeah, I know,” Mumbo muttered, craning his neck back, only for a drop of water to hit him in the forehead. He brushed it off with a scowl, glaring upwards.
The ceiling was the same rusty-brown as it ever was. Stalactites stretched down from cracks in the stone, water dribbling off them and falling towards the ground. The ceiling was part of the colossal dome that covered the whole city; wall to wall, it was about a kilometre across.
None of that was terribly relevant, though, as another drop of water landed on Mumbo’s head.
“The leaks are getting more frequent,” Mumbo sighed, “I wish someone would report it to maintenance…”
“Why bother?” Iskall rolled his eye, “They’re not gonna do anything about it. Besides, does anyone even have a ladder tall enough for that?”
“That’s true.” Mumbo nodded glumly.
They both kept walking.
“So, did you have any luck with your last batch of applications?” Iskall asked, and Mumbo shook his head.
“Nope. None of ‘em. And especially none of the places looking for a mechanic…or me, specifically.” Mumbo sighed, “You?”
“Nope, and nope, and nope,” Iskall groaned, “Applied to every machine shop from here to the opposite wall, and nothing. Fortunately, I do have a plan to make rent this month.”
“Is that where we’re going?”
“That’s where we’re going.”
Mumbo shook his head, and they kept walking.
A few steps later, he looked up and caught sight of the Hatches. The two giant metal plates, bolted into the distant wall, with a bar dropped over them. He shook his head, and turned away. He was about to ask Iskall where they were going, when-
The space under Mumbo’s heavily-patched suit jacket rustled, and Iskall hissed in a breath between his teeth. Mumbo clapped a hand over the rustling space, eyes wide as he looked around frantically.
“Not now, G!” he muttered, “Keep it down!”
The two men heard a very faint ‘peep’ from somewhere under Mumbo’s tattered suit, and Iskall groaned.
“Alright, come on. We’re gonna get caught if we hang around any longer than this…”
He gestured at Mumbo to follow them down a side alley, and not a minute too soon. Both of them ducked behind a trash receptacle, peering around it and watching as a parade of shining blue-orange machines strutted by on their four spiky legs.
“Any chance your old command codes would still work?” Iskall hissed, and Mumbo shook his head.
“They change all of those codes all the time. I don’t know what the codes are this week. Sorry, dude.”
The PA system crackled to life, then, the noise echoing through the streets and down their tiny alleyway.
“ATTENTION HERMITAGE RESIDENTS! YOUR FRIEND THE MASTERCOMPUTER WOULD LIKE TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT ALL RELICS MUST SUBMIT TO A RESET EVERY SIX WEEKS!” a cheerful, synthesized male voice said, “REMEMBER, YOUR FRIENDLY ENFORCERS ARE HERE TO HELP!”
And then, the PA system echoed with a deafening BZZT.
“IT’S VERY MODERNIST TO SHIRK YOUR DUTIES! REMEMBER: BEING MODERNIST IS A CRIME! THANK YOU!”
And the PA cut out again.
“...So, yeah, remember how Cub was saying the Mastercomputer is going off on one?” Mumbo asked nervously, dropping his voice down so Iskall could barely hear him.
“That’s not what he said. What he said is, our dear Mastercomputer’s puppet is going completely senile.” Iskall sighed, “Anyway, they’re gone, Mumbo.”
There was another chirp and some wiggling from under Mumbo’s jacket.
“G, shush! We’re not saying YOU’RE going senile,” Mumbo said, “Come on, Iskall. Can you show me what you found, already?”
“Yeah, over here.” Iskall said.
They approached a door, inset into the wall. The wall that enclosed everything, the whole world. Mumbo immediately started to shift uncomfortably, eyes wide. He started to fidget with the key around his neck, rhythmically stroking it.
“Iskall, that’s an access door. You know we can’t…”
“Why not?” Iskall raised an eyebrow, hand already on the handle.
“It’s- because- there’s nothing beyond it!” Mumbo spluttered, “because- because there’s no way to open it. The world- the world’s within our walls, Iskall!”
Iskall nodded.
“Yeah, I know. But if the world’s within our walls…then who built the doors into the walls? Ah? Ahhh? See? Smart! So clearly, if the doors are in our walls, they’re meant to be used.”
Mumbo folded his arms.
“Well, you’re still not getting through that.”
“And that, my dear Mumbo Jumbo, is where you are very, very wrong!”
Iskall held up a key.
“Remember this?” he said, “This key I found three months ago? Well, guess what. I’ve been trying doors, and…”
And Mumbo watched, eyes wide, as Iskall jammed the key into the lock and carefully turned it.
The metal shrieked, but nevertheless- the door unlatched.
With trembling hands, Iskall pushed it open.
Something on top of the door clicked, and fell silent.
And on the other side was…absolute blackness. A tunnel, leading deep into…who knew where.
“...Which is why I asked you to bring Grian,” Iskall nodded, “We need a light.”
“Good to know I’m just a glorified torch!” a shrill voice from under Mumbo’s clothes squawked, “Can I come out now?”
“Yeah, I think so,” Mumbo said, reaching under his shirt and removing a small brass bird. Small, as in about six inches tall. Grian resembled the pigeons that flitted about some parts of the city, the ones with pink eyes and pure white feathers. Except, Grian’s shape was different- his feet had sharp brass talons, and his eyes were two black orbs that reflected everything he saw. His hooked beak was wicked sharp, and he looked…
…predatory.
The final thing that always caught the eye was in Grian’s chest. There sat a red sphere that pulsed and glowed- his Relic Core. The seat of his soul. If that was pulled out, Grian would completely deactivate.
And they were going to use said Core as an ad-hoc flashlight.
Mumbo smiled.
“Sorry, G. You know how it is. Anyway, do you want to…?”
“Fine, fine,” Grian sighed.
He spread his wings and tail, leaning forward as the metal twisted into three rotor blades. He buzzed into the air, held aloft by his motors, and jerked his head down the tunnel.
“If this caves in on us, I’m blaming you both,” Grian sighed.
“Yeah, but consider this,” Iskall said, toggling the door to make sure it wouldn’t lock behind them, “If we find something worth money down here, Mumbo and I can afford some mush-meat!”
Mumbo’s eyes went wide, and his mouth started watering.
“And what do I get out of this arrangement?” Grian grumbled, spreading some of his brass chest-feathers and bathing the tunnel beyond in a sickly red light.
“Money for spare parts,” Mumbo said, snapping to attention a minute later, “and maybe an upload cable?”
“...An upload cable sounds nice,” Grian’s voice was small, “Okay, I’m on board. But I want one of the blue enforcers, got that?”
Iskall burst out laughing.
“Oh, sure. And after we catch you an enforcer to transplant you into, I’ll take a crown and become mayor and eat a roast pigeon for dinner! With a tall glass of mosswine!” He snickered.
Mumbo’s face fell a little, and both Grian and Iskall winced.
“Ah, right, sorry Mumbo. I…forgot.” Grian said softly, “Uh, maybe one of those drones that hauls trash, instead?”
“Yeah, sorry dude. Grian, we’ll find you something that blends in a little better.” Iskall nodded.
“...Yeah, that’d be nice.” Grian said quietly.
Another announcement blared through the PA behind them.
Iskall and Mumbo both nodded at each other nervously. Iskall carefully closed the door behind them, checking a hundred times that it would still open. And then it clicked shut, and they were…alone.
The dripping stopped.
The only sound, echoing off the walls, was the whirring of Grian’s rotor blades.
Mumbo squinted. They were in a square tunnel, with stairs leading down- and turning, a hairpin, before snaking back down into the darkness. Spiraling down and down and down.
“What is this place?” he whispered, “G? Do you remember anything about this?”
“Nope,” Grian said cheerfully, “Total memory wipe, remember? Sorry, Mumbo.”
“Yeah, it’s okay.” Mumbo said quietly.
“Sucks, but hey! That means we’re the first people down here…ever!” Iskall said eagerly, “think of all the supplies we’ll be able to find! Oh- dude. DUDE. What if we find some cloth?”
Mumbo’s eyes lit up.
“ Cloth?! Oh, man. Iskall, if we find cloth, we’re totally buying a roast pigeon.”
“TWO roast pigeons!” Iskall said eagerly.
“Well, okay. Now I’m properly sold.” Mumbo said, and he started walking into the darkness.
Their footsteps echoed off the stairs as they descended deeper and deeper. The stairs wound, down and down and down, and Iskall craned his neck up as they walked.
Pipes, resting in cradles, wound their way up the ceiling. Pipes that were silent, unlike all the other pipes he knew. The pipes in the school that rattled and hummed and made thinking difficult. The pipes…
Iskall shook his head.
And they continued walking down the dark stair, deeper and deeper into the belly of the beast.
“You know, if we get stuck down here…I don’t think anyone’s gonna miss us,” Mumbo said nervously.
“Sure they will!” Iskall replied brightly, “They’ll miss our corpses. Who else is gonna fertilize the tanks?”
“That’s very true. There’s a lot of phosphorus locked up in your bones!” Grian said, “The bone-breaker will miss you, that’s for sure. And isn’t that nice? Someone will come looking for you two. Me, on the other hand…”
“Oh, you’ll have someone looking for you, mate. Looking for you for all the rest of your days.” Mumbo said darkly.
All three fell silent at that, only the sound of Grian’s rotors breaking the emptiness.
“...Let’s get off this topic,” Iskall said, “Uh, so…you think I’m gonna have any luck getting on the Enforcer production line?”
“Doubtful,” Mumbo said mournfully, “We’ve put in how many applications? And, nothing. Nothing and nobody. And, mate, not to put too fine a point on it, but…you’re friends with ME. They’re not gonna let you anywhere near Enforcers.”
Iskall sighed.
“I just…there has to be something more.” Iskall said finally, “Something…something that isn’t this. Something that isn’t-”
“-Nutripaste straight from the pipe?” Mumbo offered.
Iskall gagged.
“Don’t remind me. God damn it. And just when I thought I’d gotten breakfast out of my mind…”
Grian sighed.
“Do you two ever talk about anything that isn’t food?”
“I’m hungry.” Mumbo grumbled.
“We’ll…ugh. We’ll go get some nutripaste after this.” Iskall sighed.
And they kept walking, deeper and deeper.
As they descended, the air grew…dry? Dry and stale. And then, overhead, the pipes rumbled to life, carrying…god knew what. The low hum filled the concrete tunnel, making Iskall and Mumbo share a look as they descended deeper and deeper.
Until, finally, the stairs stopped.
And they stopped at a huge black door. It wasn’t locked, but there was a bar dropped across it- and it clearly swung outward. Whatever was past that door, it was meant to be kept in.
Mumbo reached up, and tugged on the key that hung permanently around his neck, stroking it and tucking it back under his clothes.
“Do we…?”
“...Could be something good.” Iskall gestured.
“Could be our untimely deaths,” Grian added, “Could be a lot of things.”
“You know what?” Iskall said, marching up and grabbing the bar, “screw it.”
Mumbo took a step back, nervously biting his thumbnail, as Iskall lifted the bar and pulled the door open.
After a second’s pause, Mumbo and Grian followed him through the opening.