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Merlin stood and stretched, exiting his room with a yawn and almost tripped over a stack of blankets and boxes.
“What’s all this, Gaius?” Merlin asked.
Gaius was sitting at his laboratory table reading from a long scroll. He nodded absently at him as he kept reading, then scratched a name off his list then got up and went over to another pile at the far side of the room. Just then, their door opened and Gwen entered with more servants behind her. They were carrying more blankets and baskets of items and depositing them around the room. She walked up to the workbench and peered down at the papers on Gaius’s desk.
“How’s the list going?” Gwen asked Gaius then turned to him with a smile, “Morning, Merlin.”
“I’ve been checking through it,” Gaius began.
“Don’t forget to check it twice,” Gwen looked over his shoulder at it.
Gaius nodded and touched the side of his nose. “I know, m’dear. I’ve been sorting through the names…should we only give to people who’ve been good?”
“I don’t know, how does one even begin to judge that anyways Gaius? All are worthy.”
“Very true,” Gaius nodded.
Merlin had been looking between them and couldn’t stand being in the dark any longer. He put his hands on the table and peered over.
“What are you doing?” Merlin asked with a little exasperation.
Gwen laughed and Gaius smiled.
“We’re collecting items for the poor. It’s been so very cold and with midwinter here, we thought it nice to give something to those that had been most affected during Morgana’s attack of lower town,” Gaius explained. “A lot of people suffering the sweating sickness this season could have been prevented simply with a blanket or something warmer to wear.”
“I spoke to other servants and Gaius spoke with the Knights,” Gwen explained.
“So you made a list…” Merlin extrapolated.
Gwen laughed and nodded, “So we made a list. The people are freezing, some are living in tents or the streets sine their homes were destroyed. They could really use something like this.”
Merlin swallowed a sudden lump and was forced to look away and fuss with his scarf. Gwen was such a good person. He was only thinking of surviving the next day and doing whatever he could to make sure Arthur survived. He never thought about helping other people in such grand gestures. He barely knew the names of five people in lower town. Not that he didn’t think those people were important or didn’t want to help them. Just. Merlin had priorities. He had to look out for Arthur first. Also, so much of that damage felt like his fault since what Morgana had become was his fault.
“We could really use your help,” Gaius’s words cut into his thoughts.
“Sure. Whatever,” Merlin nodded and turned away, trying not to step on any of the piles of baskets containing food, wrapped toys and blankets. His and Gaius’s shared quarters were practically overflowing with them. He opened up a cabinet to rummage for something to break his fast. There had been a loaf of bread in here yesterday. And cheese. He distinctly remembers there being some cheese. Or maybe that was last week.
“Merlin,” Gaius said softly with an urgent tone. He was also closer than he remembered him being. Merlin jerked a bit and hit his head on the top of the food cabinet. He looked up at Gaius, who stepped even closer to speak privately.
“Yes?” Merlin rubbed his head and blinked a few times.
Gaius turned to glance back through their room which was empty now.
“Gwen will be back in a moment with even more parcels to hand out. I’m not sure how she expects all these things to be delivered tonight. Now, when I said we needed your help…” Gaius trailed off.
“You need me to do something…?” Merlin wiggled his fingers.
“Yes,” His mentor raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “The problem is that Yule Celebrations are considered a druidic celebration and therefore were banned by Uther during the purge. Gift giving during midwinter has been written off as mostly sacrament. Which is a shame really. What Gwen wants to do is not just incredibly nice, but necessary. These people really need these things,” Gaius paused to sigh and give Merlin a look.
“Will Gwen get in trouble for giving the gifts?” Merlin asked as he walked over to the table and looked at the scroll and the long list of names.
Gaius shrugged, “She most certainly could. If she’s caught she could face punishment, possibly even death. Uther takes a very hard line about magic, as you well know.”
“Arthur is Regent now,” Merlin felt it necessary to point out.
“But the laws are still the same.”
“What is it that you want me to do?” He inquired with a resigned sigh.
“Hand out the gifts for her, Merlin,” Gaius said, and then continued on: “I have an idea about a sack.”
“Me?” Merlin gaped for a moment, “Wait…I haven’t actually agreed yet.”
Gaius eyebrow climbed even higher if that were possible and held out a sack and a spell book.
Merlin groaned, knowing it was inevitable. He would never let Gwen come to any harm. Merlin picked up the book and looked at the spell that Gaius had bookmarked about the sack. It looked simple enough and would allow all of the gifts to magically fit inside one bag. How clever and useful, he thought. Merlin passed his hand over the burlap sack, eyes flashing as he intoned the spell quietly, and then suddenly the bag was a rich red velvet with a white ermine trim.
“Hey…I have a question?” Merlin frowned.
“What is it m’boy?” Gaius bustled around the room.
“If Gwen could get in trouble if she’s caught handing out these gifts…what happens if I’m caught?”
“Hmm…” Gaius frowns. “Don’t get caught.”
“Great advice. I can’t believe you’re encouraging me to do something foolhardy and…and a flagrant abuse of my magic,” Merlin gestured lamely.
“It would be foolhardy for Gwen to attempt. But I believe in your abilities, Merlin. I know you can do this. And it’s not an abuse of your magic to help the people who need it most, is it?” Gaius gave him a steady look.
“You’re right, I didn’t think of it that way,” Merlin nodded. He was used to thinking of using his magic only for Arthur. But he supposed this was helping the residents of Camelot and that would make him happy.
“And I have a solution about having time to delivering all the gifts. Why not stop time in-between delivering the gifts,” Gaius offered.
Merlin shook his head, “I’m not sure I can stop that much time. I’ll try? But, what if someone sees me?”
“How about a disguise?”
“I already know the aging spell,” Merlin said. “I can just be the old man again. Simple.”
Gaius shakes his head. “Better not. ‘Dragoon The Great’ is a known sorcerer and if he’s seen he might arouse suspicion and you might draw unwanted attention.”
Merlin tried to think about spells he’d read recently. There was one that might work. He’d been thinking about using it to make Arthur’s belt larger but he could probably use it for this.
“I’ve got it. I know exactly what I’ll do,” Merlin laughed and flipped a few pages in the spell book to point one out to his mentor. “The aging spell and a tweak to this enlargement spell. They may have recognized me as an old man, but they won’t recognize me as a fat, jolly old man!”
Gaius looked unconvinced.
“Mer-lin!” Arthur suddenly bellowed from the hallway outside the physician’s chambers.
Merlin stood and covered up the spell book with some papers and unconsciously fixed his hair and scarf.
“I’ve got to go see what he wants. I’ll be back,” Merlin said to Gaius.
“Of course, “Gaius nodded.
He was almost to the door when Arthur poked his head in.
“Merlin!” Arthur repeats in exasperation.
“Arthur!” Merlin said back, opening the door.
“Sire,” Arthur corrects, expressions of annoyance and amusement warring on his face. Arthur had stalled in the doorway.
“Sire?” Merlin said in confusion.
“No…” Arthur groaned and shoved a large saddle bag at him. “Just forget that. Get our horses ready. We’re leaving immediately for a village in the north. Wear something warm.”
Merlin followed behind him, “What has happened?”
Arthur made an aggravated noise but after a few moments he explained, “We received reports that a village has been attacked. It’s under Camelot’s protection.”
He waited for further explanation. None was forthcoming. Camelot was frozen. Icicles hung from the parapets and the drawbridge. Just yesterday a Knight had slipped and fallen, breaking his leg on the ice that covered frozen south rampart. Surely the Knights could have handled this, Merlin thought. Arthur himself didn’t have to attend to each and every defense personally.
Merlin frowned and studied Arthur’s profile as they walked through the hall. He was clenching his jaw so tight it looked painful, Merlin thought. Perhaps Arthur was chafing under winter’s more restricted routine? It wasn’t dull; per se. Arthur and the Knights had been confined to training indoors and the weekly hunting excursions for Camelot’s food stores. While both of those things may keep the body active, Arthur was a warrior, Merlin supposed.
“What kind of attack?” Merlin asked.
For a while he thought Arthur wasn’t going to explain. They made it to the stables and Merlin was half way through the motions of putting their usual gear onto the backs of their horses in silence before Arthur replied. The Prince had his arms crossed, watching him saddle Llamrei and Hengroen, in mute silence as Merlin incorporated the oil cloths and furs into their packs for warmth. He was tightening one of the last straps on Llamrei when Arthur pulled him aside into the far end of the stall.
“We heard where Morgana might be camped,” Arthur said in a hushed voice. It was clear he didn’t want the Knights to overhear as they geared up in the other part of the stables.
“Arthur,” Merlin said urgently, “It might be a trap. How reliable is this source?”
“It’s reliable,” Arthur looked at him imploringly. “I was coming back from a hunt. Remember when I caught that stag last week?”
“Yes,” Merlin nodded. It was one of the only times this winter he hadn’t gone with Arthur because he’d gone to collect some necessary herbs instead. All of the winter sicknesses had put a dent in their collection and Merlin had relented to Gaius’s pleading.
“I saw her myself,” Arthur said.
“You…did?” Merlin was a little shocked that Arthur didn’t try and confront her at that time. Or tell him upon his return.
“I would’ve gone after her then but I was alone,” Arthur shrugged and leaned against the side of his horse, putting one hand on his pommel. Merlin couldn’t be sure but it looked a little like Arthur was posing and it made him smile.
“Wise of you, Sire,” Merlin said as he finished packing everything.
“I am very wise,” Arthur grinned and accidently stepped in some horse dung.
“Very wise,” Merlin agreed and backed out of the stall.
“Mer-lin!” Arthur yelped. “Come back here and clean this!”
“Sorry, Sire!” Merlin chirped, “If we’re to leave immediately I have to get something from my quarters…immediately!”
Merlin left the stables still laughing about Arthur’s outraged expression. He raced back to the physician’s chambers, only to find Gwen there crying in Gaius’s arms.
“Gwen, whatever is the matter?” Merlin asked, baffled.
“You’re so brave!” Gwen exclaimed and then launched herself at him.
He pat her awkwardly, quite unsure he deserved such a moniker from her. Her soft brown curls tickled his nose and he smiled happily down at her and squeezed her arm.
“If you’re happy, then I’m happy I can help,” Merlin answered as simply as he could. “I guess Gaius told you I’m helping out?”
“Thank-you so much for doing this. I didn’t even consider what might happen if I were caught or the fact that midwinter gifts are technically part of Yule celebrations,” Gwen looked worried. “But what if you’re caught…”
Merlin shook his head, “Don’t worry about me. A friend is actually doing the gift giving, I’m just…getting in contact with him.”
Gaius walked over to the door and handed him his own ratty saddlebag. Merlin didn’t have time to look through it because he didn’t want to incite Arthur’s ire by being any later than he already was.
“Hopefully you’ll be back from your trip by tonight. Just in case, I put the sack, the list and some clothing for you to wear inside. It’s some of my old robes that are…larger. And you should probably wait until late at night. Around…midnight. Very few creatures are stirring. Not even a mouse. Or even a Knight of Camelot,” Gaius spoke quietly.
Merlin tossed his bag over his shoulder, clasped Gaius on the forearm as he left, waved at Gwen who was sitting at the table and was out of the room.
Arthur and the Knights were waiting for him outside. The Prince did not look pleased. Merlin blithely ignored his obvious discontent, strapped his bag onto Llamrei as quick as possible and pulled himself up onto the horse’s back. He glanced over at Arthur and arched a jaunty eyebrow at him.
“What are we waiting for, Sire?”
“Merlin,” Arthur worked his jaw in an effort to stop himself from saying something. “Shut up.”
Arthur kicked his horse into a fast canter out of the snow-covered square and onto the north road out of Camelot. Once they were free of the cobblestoned streets their canter turned into a faster gallop as Arthur’s urgency translated into his need to cover ground while the weather permitted. It was cold, and there was snow and ice, but it wasn’t currently snowing. During a harsh winter such as this it was the best sort of weather conditions they could hope for.
Merlin looked around at the still white countryside with a small amount of awe. It was quite beautiful. The cold didn’t actually bother him that much. His magic kept him mostly warm, powering him like an internal furnace. Arthur and the Knights were piled high in heavy fur-lined winter cloaks and still shivering but Merlin was in his usual brown suede jacket and scarf. He felt the energy of winter, and it was alive even if the trees looked dead.
They traveled for a few hours, stopping only to water the horses at a stream and take a small meal of watered ale and bread.
As they re-mounted their horses again Arthur pointed towards a rising of land to the north. “Over that hill is a small village. When I was here four days ago I saw Morgana there with her troops. We’re here to infiltrate them and…if possible capture Morgana. She needs to be brought to justice for what she’s done.”
There was an outcry from the Knights as they realize they’d been brought out under false pretenses.
“Capture?” Lancelot asks. “How do we capture a sorcerer?”
Arthur shrugged and looked towards the tree line on the hill.
“You can’t take Morgana back to Camelot unless you want your Father to kill her. You might as well kill her yourself now,” Gwaine said.
“Hey!” Leon shook his head at Gwaine, “Don’t start.”
“We don’t know any of that,” Percy said shrugged.
“Let’s get going before the weather gets worse,” Arthur ordered as he pulled his horse around and began leading the way. The other Knights soon filed in behind him with Merlin at the back. Everyone was silent with their thoughts.
Suddenly Arthur was calling a halt to their march, and they pulled their horses behind some boulders for cover.
“The camp was just over that ridge of trees,” Arthur was saying, fist gripping the pommel of his sword. “I saw her walking around with that woman, Morgause. She was injured but alive.”
“Two sorcerers?” Gwaine asked and looked up at the ridgeline and then back at where they came from.
“If you don’t think you can handle those odds I can find another Knight,” Arthur glowered at Gwaine and Leon put a hand between them.
“I don’t think that’s what Gwaine meant,” Leon attempted to diffuse the situation. “But we’re not exactly equipped to deal with that sort of threat.”
“You’ve fought worse odds and you prefer it,” Merlin nudged Gwaine.
“That’s why we’re sneaking up on them,” Arthur said, exasperation creeping into his voice, “It’s a surprise attack.”
“That’s the plan?” Elyan said.
“I like it,” Percy nodded. “It’s simple. Complex plans have a way of unraveling in battle.”
The Knights just shrugged him.
“Percy is right. It doesn’t have to be complicated,” Arthur seemed to be getting angry and frustrated with each of them, “We’re in the right here. She broke the law, tried to kill all of us…several times. She deposed the King and thinks herself as the true heir. She is not. We’re here to see that she is punished, as is our sacred duty as Knights of Camelot. If you can’t handle that then you need to get a new job.”
Arthur unsheathed his sword and faced his Knights. “Facing opponents who have magic with just your sword is formidable but you can’t run from that fight. This is our duty. There are always foes that are fearsome, strong, and seemingly unbeatable. But that doesn’t mean you don’t fight back. There may be a way even if it may seem impossible. Sorcerers are still human. You just have to find a weakness.”
The Knights unsheathed their swords in response to his rallying words and followed Arthur as he crouched behind the boulder and began a slow walk behind it and along the ridgeline, then over it. Merlin followed and extended his senses beyond. He didn’t sense anything for miles except them and some farm animals from the village. It was possible that Morgana or Morgause had placed some sort of protection spell around their camp, but he couldn’t sense the magic of it. After a few minutes of silent walking they broke through the crest of tall trees at the top of the hill and looked down on nothing but empty countryside.
The snow was severely trampled down and there were clear signs of recent habitation, old campfires, horse dung and animal carcasses. Morgana’s troops weren’t even trying to clean up after themselves, Merlin thought. They either didn’t care that they had left a trail or weren’t hiding. Regardless of that, they weren’t here in this spot anymore. Merlin looked over at Arthur and he looked frustrated.
“We’ll follow the trail, Sire,” Leon said.
“They can’t have gone far. This large a group of people will leave a trail. It shouldn’t be too hard to find them,” Gwaine nodded.
“How many days past was it you saw her?”
“Four,” Arthur tossed his sword into the snow next to him and grimaced at the pervasive smell of the camp. “No, it’s been five now if I add all the travel time. I was very careful when passed. I’m positive I was not seen.”
Merlin shook his head. “Doesn’t matter even if you were invisible. Morgana can see the future. And if she saw that you found her camp it’s possible she left because of that and changed her plans accordingly.”
Arthur turned on him in a fury, “Since when are you such an expert on Morgana’s powers?”
He tugged on his scarf and evaded, “She told me. You know. During the battle…bragged about how she could see herself on the throne before it happened.”
Arthur frowned and looked like he was going to ask more questions when Leon walked over to inquire. “What are your orders, Sire, follow the trail or go back to Camelot?”
Merlin was relieved he didn’t have to answer any more questions about Morgana. He walked away and stood next to Lancelot and Gwaine. They were talking quietly about the camp and making educated guesses about how many people might have been in Morgana’s army. Merlin hated the taint Morgana left on the place; her chaotic magic had disturbed the very balance of nature. The earth felt dead beneath his feet, like she had absorbed the energy of the place and left it vacant and lifeless. He felt himself shivering slightly as he walked through the uneven snow and tugged his jacket around his body, which was pointless, he thought. The chill he was feeling had nothing to do with the weather, but Morgana. Merlin looked up and caught Arthur watching him.
“We go back to Camelot in the morning. Percy, Elyan and Merlin make camp. Gwaine, Lancelot, sweep to the North for tracks. Leon and myself will sweep to the south and meet back. We’ll go back to Camelot with information and the council will decide what to do,” Arthur directed then began walking back towards the horses.
Merlin and the Knights began following behind Arthur, already picking up branches for a fire. He didn’t even bother caring if they were dry or not. He was going to light the fire with magic so it wasn’t necessary.
By the time they walked back over the ridge and to the grouping of boulders where they had left their horses, Merlin had quite an armful of sticks gathered. He was mentally preparing the stew he was going to cook and going over the steps needed to prepare it. Merlin had some spices in one of his pouches that would be good with some hare if one of the Knights would be so good to catch. He was lost in his thoughts and ran into the back of Percy who was in front of him.
“Uh?” Merlin said, peering around Percy’s back.
“I can’t believe this!” Arthur was livid, cheeks red.
“Someone stole the horses?” Gwaine exclaimed, hair flipping around as snow started to fall.
Lancelot walked over and squatted down trying to read the tracks.
“Maybe they wandered off?” Leon walked over to study the hoof prints with Lancelot.
“I tied my horse securely, Leon,” Arthur said waspishly.
“Maybe Morgana had booby traps,” Merlin said and all the Knights turned to look at him.
“Booby traps?” Arthur narrowed his eyes at him.
“You know…like if anyone came after her? She probably has spells to prevent people from following her,” Merlin started to gesture with his hands and ended up dropping the stack of wood he was carrying.
“Pff,” Arthur scoffed, “Magic doesn’t work like that. And you don’t know anything about sorcery. Gwaine’s right. Someone probably stole the horses.”
Merlin could feel Lancelot glancing over at him and he shrugged it off. It stung a bit that Arthur brushed him off, but there was nothing to be done about it. To explain that he truly did know what he was talking about risked exposing it all. He swallowed his feelings again, and kicked at the snow with his boots, smiling at nothing. A fool’s smile was easier than breathing some days.
“Let’s walk to that nearby village; it’s too cold to stay here without our bedrolls in this weather with this storm coming. There must be somewhere we can spend the night,” Arthur set off, discussing something with Leon.
Once no one was looking, Merlin quickly cast a spell to call their horses to return to them. Merlin didn’t know how long it would take but he did need his things from the satchel on Llamrei’s back before nightfall.
Soon snow was falling thickly as they trudged up a narrow trail to the outlining edge of the village. There was a large barn but the rest of the village seemed to be a further walk. Merlin squinted into the falling snow and tried to make out more buildings further away but couldn’t see anything but fields of wheat. The Knights debated walking further into the village or camping in the barn. They decided to ride out the storm in the barn and leave at first light.
However the barn was not empty. Inside was a worn sled used for plowing the field, but pushed to one side and in the stalls were eight reindeer. The smell was pungent. It was, thankfully, quite warm. The Knights groaned in delight at the temperature or the smell, Merlin wasn’t sure, and began taking off some of their gear to dry on the benches that were pushed to the side for working tack.
“Reindeer are suspicious,” Gwaine said and opened each of the stalls with the tip of his sword, examining every booth carefully, down to the hooves. The reindeer shuffled around, shaking their heads and making a few grunting noises but didn’t attack the Knight. He seemed satisfied when Morgana didn’t appear to be hiding crouched behind one of the beasts.
“How are reindeer suspicious?” Elyan eyed Gwaine.
“It’s the horns,” Gwaine made horn like gestures with his fingers on top of his head.
“You’re an idiot,” Elyan.
“Who runs a farm with reindeer?” Gwaine made a sweeping gesture in exasperation.
“Gwaine, everything isn’t some grand plot,” Lancelot already had his cloak off and was hanging it up to dry with a makeshift clothesline.
“People do. In my youth I worked at a smithy near the Forests of Balor and some of the farms there used reindeer because they were heartier during their cold winters,” Elyan shrugged.
Leon was shrugging out of his wet cloak and tossed it at Gwaine, and it hit the side of his face with a wet smack. The Knights laughed good-naturedly as Gwaine reached over to punch Leon in the arm.
“It stinks in here,” Gwaine groused finally sitting down with a flounce of his hair.
Elyan rolled his eyes at Gwaine and walked over to one of the reindeer who was making a commotion, kicking it's hooves into the door in the far stall. It probably wasn't used this many strangers.
“Ho!” Elyan said as he attempted to calm one the reindeer while petting its head, “Ho! I’m just a friend…Ho!”
Merlin began rummaging through the bins of reindeer food until he found something edible. He took a few handfuls of the dried lichens and mushrooms they ate and slipped back outside unnoticed to prepare something warm for the Knights. It wasn’t like he could light a fire and cook in the barn. He came back inside with a warm vegetarian stew, which was slightly watery but not half bad considering it was made with reindeer feed and melted snow.
“Where did the bowls and spoons come from?” Arthur asked before he took a bite.
“Oh yeah!” Merlin laughed and pointed back outside. “The horses showed up!”
“What!” Arthur started to stand up.
“Our horses? The same ones!” Gwaine looked confused.
Lancelot smiled and shook his head, eating his stew.
“I don’t get it. How did they find us?” Leon scratched his chin with a spoon, and then looked around the barn. “Do you think it’s a trick?”
“A trick?” Merlin frowned.
“A trap,” Leon explained and started eating his stew.
“A trap,” Merlin frowned harder.
“Like you said earlier. A booby trap. First Morgana takes our horses, now she gives them back. Maybe she did something to the horses. How did they find us in this storm? It’s like….magic.”
“Maybe they were just wandering and smelled the food?” Lancelot suggested.
“It’s a horse not a hound,” Arthur said, looking troubled. He stood and set down his bowl. “Show me.”
“Aren’t you going to eat?” Merlin said. “It’s good.”
“It’s not rat stew again, is it?” Arthur eyed the stew warily.
Merlin held his hands up, “Nope. Just vegetables. I can probably find some rats if you’ve got a craving, Sire.”
Arthur and Merlin went outside and looked around. Outside the door to the barn, all of their horses were calmly tied to a post. Merlin had laid oil-cloths over them as protection from the winter storm but even with that there was a bank of snow already forming where they stood. It was quiet and peaceful, big, fluffy white snowflakes falling fast around them. Merlin wasn’t quite sure what Arthur hoped to see.
He turned to Arthur and spied him looking up at a spring of mistletoe tied to the rafter above them.
Merlin caught himself blushing before he could catch himself. He hated being so pale sometimes. Mistletoe was a very old midwinter kissing custom and Arthur probably wouldn’t even know what it meant. Then Arthur looked at him and down to his lips.
Merlin was in love with Arthur, would do anything and everything for him. And that included never saying anything about himself or his own feelings because Arthur had feelings for Gwen. He realized they had an awkward silence and was about to tell Arthur to go back inside and eat the stew when Arthur placed a soft kiss on his lips.
Merlin was staring at Arthur, who seemed a little shocked at his own actions.
“Forgive me, Merlin. That was forward,” Now Arthur was blushing as well.
“The mistletoe,” Merlin said stupidly and nodded. “I saw it.”
They were still standing there and staring at each other, and Merlin thought maybe Arthur wanted to say something else to him. Arthur probably wanted to apologize and say something noble or tell him to forget it happened and maybe even say something about Gwen.
But Merlin wanted this moment to be about him for once. So he took the initiative and kissed Arthur himself. He pressed Arthur back against the door, felt his body all along his own from their shoulders to where their hips pressed against each other. He was a little taller than his Prince and used that to his advantage to grip his shoulder and really tilt his head the way he wanted for a proper snog. Merlin licked along his lower lip and heard Arthur groan as he slid their tongues together, invading his mouth and taking notes about the taste and texture to analyze for later. He pulled back and looked at Arthur, whose lips and cheeks were slightly reddened. Merlin suddenly felt like a terrible person. He shouldn’t be kissing Arthur like this if he has feelings for Gwen. It was not what Arthur or Gwen deserved.
“Do you practice that at the tavern, Merlin?” Arthur asked, sounding a little dazed.
“Are you saying I’m really good at it?” He stepped back and opened the door, “The answer is no. C’mon let’s go inside and finish our stew before the guys eat everything.”
Later that evening, when the Knights and Arthur were fast asleep in their bedrolls, Merlin pulled out his sack and realized he needed a conveyance to get back to Camelot and deliver the items to lower town. He contemplated calling Kilgharrah but he felt that seeing the Great Dragon over Camelot would merely incite fear, not the joy and happiness Gwen wanted achieve. He needed something special for tonight. He could use a horse but it needed to be faster. He looked around the far side of the barn and spied the sled.
Using magic, he pulled the sled out of the barn and hitched up the reindeers and enchanted the entire thing to fly. Merlin aged himself, and then used the enlargement spell to gain weight; with a flash of his eyes he was much older and heavier by many stone. He dug through his satchel and put on the red robes that Gaius packed, which seemed to include a red hat with a fur trim. He couldn’t imagine Gaius wearing such things but fashions changed, Merlin supposed. He put the hat on and gave a merry chuckle, amused by the tiny jingle bell on it.
What was it that Elyan had said to the reindeer to calm them? Ho?
“Ho! Ho!” Merlin gently rubs the flank of the nearest reindeer to calm the creature as he heaved the enchanted sack full of gifts over his shoulder.
Merlin hopped up into the sled, dumping the bag on the seat next to him and took off, flying southward towards Camelot. Flying this way it would be a short trip, Merlin mused. As he steered the flying reindeer he took the time to review the list that Gaius had prepared with Gwen. It was a lot of people. Forget having the time to give all of these items to. He didn’t even know how to find the right people. And he was sure Gwen said some of these people lived in the streets.
He sighed and thought about it for a minute. He’d just have to use magic. Corresponding gift to the name on the list and magically guide the reindeer to the right place. He ran his hand over the list and cast a spell, then urged the sled faster towards Camelot.
Merlin wasn’t sure where or how to land a magically flying sled but the square in the middle of a town that banned magic didn’t seem like a good idea. He settled for the roof of a small nondescript hut. It was the best idea he could think of quickly. His first landing in lower town was almost perfect. He was in and out of the first hut before they knew what happened and he was onto the next place just as quick. Merlin leapt over to the next roof and almost didn’t make it. He wobbled a bit on the roof tiles, forgetting to account for the fact he was older and larger in this body. He paused to take a breather against a chimney and whipped his brow with the fur hat.
“Ho!” Merlin gasped as he was slightly out of breath, “Ho!” He ran around a corner to evade one of the many overlapping rounds of guards. He stopped time and climbed up to the roof with his sack, arms straining with effort. “Ho!”
He continued that way for an hour or two, stopping time when he needed, pausing on rooftops and delivering blankets, food and small trinkets.
Merlin groaned, “This is going to take all night! Arthur would be happy to know his city guard does a very good job.” Merlin looked up at the moon which had fallen through the sky and he could feel daybreak on the horizon. He needed to get back to Arthur. He was supposed to be the most powerful sorcerer to walk the earth. He can do a spell to finish up this, he thought. Merlin looked at the rest of the sack and passed his hand over it and ordered the parcels to go to their true owners.
Merlin held his hand out and called the sled to him, which he had left a few rooftops away. A few minutes later it came on flying over on silent wings, and landed much better on his current rooftop than he had yet managed to maneuver the thing. He jumped up into the sled and tossed the empty sack into the sled with a tired groan.
“Ho!” He called out to the reindeer and they began prancing on the air. Merlin flew them over to the castle, contemplating landing. The castle didn’t have any easy rooftops and obviously he wanted to avoid the guardhouse, but on the eastside there was a flanking tower he could easily land. He just had to avoid detection long enough to do so.
“You there!” A guard was pointing at him from the castle. The guard looked shocked. There went his idea to stay hidden.
Merlin supposed it wasn’t everyday you saw a flying sled pulled by…flying reindeer. He tipped his fur cap at the guard and said, “Ho! Ho! Happy Midwinter to all…and to all a goodnight!” Merlin called out and chuckled merrily a few times, and tossed a few gold coins down to the guard. Then with a flash of his eyes he sent all the residents of the castle who’d been good that year small gift that was exactly what they wanted. And all the residents who’d been naughty lump of coal.
He didn’t even know where the idea came from exactly but it felt right and didn’t seem harmful in any manner. Sometimes his magic flowed out of instinct, an act of nature restoring balance, Gaius might say. Merlin shrugged and steered the sleigh north towards the tiny village where the Knights were sleeping. Soon he was back at the barn.
Merlin landed outside with a soft thump and de-aged, and took the weight spell off, then undressed out of Gaius’s old robes, hat and pulled open the side of the barn door to put the sleigh and walked each of the reindeer back, which was more work that it seemed. The deer neighed and kept shaking their antlers at him.
One of the reindeer’s almost gored him. Merlin cursed under his breath as he sagged against the side of the stable door. He supposed the reindeer were tired and annoyed from having to run all over as well. Merlin went to the bins on the side wall by all the tack and pulled out feed, using magic to send food to all of their dishes. He sat on the ground near Arthur, suddenly tired. He’d used a lot of magic in the past few hours. And he hadn’t really eaten, except maybe he’d taken a few bites of a few family’s pastries that had been left out and Merlin felt bad about that but in each of those cases he’d left an extra gift as thanks. Merlin decided to wait for the Knights to wake. It should be soon, he thought. The sleeping draught he put in their stew would be wearing off soon.
Merlin woke a few hours later to the rocking of horseback. He was quite disorientated for a few minutes to realize the Knights must have let him sleep and then pressed onwards back towards Camelot while he was asleep. He lifted his head and realized he had drooled on Arthur’s shoulder. Merlin barely suppressed a shiver when he realized that he was pressed along Arthur’s backside and had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders that smelled distinctly of Arthur. He took a deep breath.
“You must’ve had trouble sleeping last night,” Arthur said in his ear.
“Someone had to keep watch,” Merlin quirked a grin, turning to eye his profile.
“Funny,” Arthur’s jaw line clenched. “You shouldn’t have stayed awake by yourself. Next time wake me so I can protect you.”
“That’s all our jobs, Arthur.” Merlin said solemnly.
Arthur sighed and seemed to let it drop as they continued through the light snow. Merlin glanced around and tried to gauge how far away they were. He was surprised to see they had traveled quite a distance during his slumber. They were passing through the edges of the darkling woods now and it was probably less than an hour until they reach the gates of Camelot.
“We should talk about last night,” Arthur began.
“Nah,” Merlin shook his head. “We don’t need to.”
“No,” Arthur nodded and clenched his jaw, “We do.”
“You are a cabbagehead and need to stop this horse. I can ride for myself now. I’m perfectly awake.”
“Just…stop talking for a minute, Merlin.”
“I’ll jump!” Merlin threatened.
Arthur rode faster.
Merlin had to grab onto Arthur to keep from falling off and hated that he delighted in that small pleasure. He hoped he wasn’t blushing or if he was that the Knights were far enough that couldn’t see.
“You talk a lot of rubbish for someone I find typically buried in books,” Arthur spurned his horse even faster despite Merlin’s threats. “What I mean by that is…you’re an idiot.”
“Your face is idiotic,” Merlin muttered.
“What’s that?” Arthur inquired.
“I said…this place is quixotic.”
“Indeed,” The Prince adjusted his grip and tried to take one of Merlin’s hands, who batted him away.
“What are you…are you having a fit or something?”
“A fit, no what are you talking about?”
“You’re grabbing my hand, Sire.”
“Ugh, you’re impossible sometimes. I’m trying to…I don’t know make a gesture. I don’t know how these things are done…” Arthur lowered his voice. “Between men. If you were a woman it would be different.”
Merlin wasn’t sure what Arthur was about to say or he was meant to imply. Merlin tried to rack his brain with what that might mean but all he could think was that Arthur might be saying he was bad at laundry? He wanted to know but hesitated to ask because knowing meant hearing Arthur tell him their kiss was a mistake. He was very happy when Leon rode up and interrupted them at that moment. Merlin pulled away as much as he could on horseback and pulled the blanket round himself tighter.
“Sire, there is a commotion up ahead at the gates!”
Arthur frowned, and then kicked his heels into Hengroen’s side, picking up his pace to a gallop for the rest of the way to Camelot effectively ending their conversation.
At the northern most gates of Camelot there were two guards arguing at the postern gate. Once there, Arthur, the Knights and Merlin dismounted to talk to the two guards.
“I saw him!” The first guard yelled at the other one.
“Ye didn’, stop puttin’ on Boars,” The second guard dismissed.
“I did so!” The first guard yelled again, then noticed the Knights and saluted so hard he punched himself with his gauntlet and fell over, apparently knocked out.
The Knights looked over at the second guard who simply shrugged, “He do that a’ leas’ once’n week, Boars do. Who’e ye?”
“Arthur Pendragon,” The Prince announced stately, then turned towards the remaining awake guard. “What were you two arguing about?”
"Och, Boars says he saw Father Winter last night, but he be deep in his cups last night,” The guard paused and shrugged, “But I heard from some o’ me other mates a’ the Hang’ Man that most o’ Camelot receive mysterious gifties last night, ye be hearin’ me? An’ the bad mites received nary bu’ a lump o’ coal.” The guard broke out on a fit of laughter, half of his teeth missing.
Arthur barely restrained a grimace, not wanting to believe this incompetent guard nor his tale. “Keep your post, guardsman and be vigilant. It sounds like sorcery has a hand in this.”
“Aye, Sire. Sorcery. Och, Gave me fresh bread jus’ like me mum’s an’ a warmer blanket which I havna ha’ in years, so tha’s alright w’me.”
The Knights looked at each other and then at Arthur for what to do. In truth, Arthur wasn’t sure what to do.
“If you see the perpetrator of the sorcery, let me know guardsman. And report him to me,” Arthur began to walk away.
“I know what he looks like!” Boars was awake apparently.
“You do?” Arthur turned around and asked.
“He’s old and has a long white beard,” Boars said.
“Oh he does, does he?” Arthur said and shared a look with the Knights.
“That rude Dragoon bloke?” Gwaine looked at Arthur to confirm they were both thinking of the same sorcerer.
“He was fat and jolly," Boars continued to describe, "And wearing a poncy red suit and a fur hat, flying a sleigh through the sky making presents rain from the stars. He visits every house in one night from…the farthest north star where he lives with..."The guard burped, "Moon spirits.”
“Ye be drunk an’ makin’ half tha’ shite up, Boars,” the second guardsman groused.
Arthur rolled his eyes and dismissed both guardsmen, continuing across the drawbridge into Camelot. In front of the stable entrance Arthur seemed like he wanted to say something again but Merlin didn’t give him time. He just took the reins from Hengroen and kept his head down. If Arthur can’t find him he can’t tell him how much he’s in love with Gwen, can he?
At the stables Merlin busied himself cleaning the horses and seeing that they were stabled and taken care of before heading in to wash himself. He still hadn’t eaten much, just thinking about food made him realize how famished he was. Merlin entered the physician’s chambers and spied Gaius sitting at his workbench, two plates of food already waiting. Gaius really was the best.
“Thanks, Gaius!” Merlin smiled and sat down on his side of the bench. He dropped his saddlebag down onto the ground at his feet.
“You’re welcome, m’boy,” Gaius pushed a plate in front of Merlin, “Tuck in. I’m sure you’re hungry. I’ve been hearing from everyone these amazing tales of Father Winter and his gifts.”
Merlin groaned, “Don’t start.”
“I think it was a very nice thing you did,” Gaius said diplomatically. “I love the leech tank cozy.”
“I don’t even know what that is,” Merlin took a bite of a chicken drumstick.
“It’s a very useful tool for keeping light out of my leech tank during certain hours.”
“Couldn’t you use a sheet?”
“I used to use a sheet. But now I have a cozy. It appears to be hand knitted. It also says #1 court physician.”
“That’s…” Merlin paused for a second and the burst out laughing.
“If anyone asks…I’m telling them that you knitted it, by the way,” Gaius joined him in laughter as they ate.
They finished eating, Merlin sharing a few anecdotes from his trip that had happened, and Gaius told him about a coma patient he had and drilled him with what herbs he should use to treat the symptoms. Afterwards he cleared the plates by hand; rinsing them in the bucket Gaius had for such things and wiped the tableware off with a rag.
A page ducked into room, “The Prince has requested Merlin to attend to him presently.”
“Thank-you, Wembly,” Gaius waved at the boy but he seemed to be already gone.
Merlin sighed and looked around the room for an excuse to not go. Was there an experiment pending or a sick person that required his assistance? But for once the chambers were tidy, empty of patients and if he wanted an excuse he’d have to explain to Gaius why, which was almost as mortifying as facing Arthur himself. Almost, but not quite. The only reason he was going to make the trip, well, two. First of all, he couldn’t avoid Arthur forever. Secondly, it didn’t sit well on his conscience that they’d kissed knowing Arthur had feelings for Gwen and vice versa.
He waved at his mentor and made the climb up to Arthur’s chambers. Merlin would just have to tell Arthur the truth. Or, some version of it. A version of it that sounded like the truth. A version of truth that Arthur would think sounded like the truth. It was pretty messed up but the way it had to be if he wanted to keep his head and he wanted Arthur to keep his head.
Merlin blinked and realized his feet had carried him to Arthur’s room and he still didn’t know what he was going to say.
“Mer-lin!” Arthur suddenly opened the door and yanked him into the chambers.
He might have yelped, in a very manful way. Arthur just laughed at this reaction and Merlin glared at him.
“How can I help you, Sire?”
“Have you ever noticed you only call me ‘sire’ when you’re angry? Right now I’m sure you want to call me a prat or a plonker or something endearing like that.”
“I have…no idea what you’re talking about,” Merlin tried to keep the smile off his face but it was hard.
“Sure you do, Merlin. The very first day you met me you told me I was the practically the biggest prat you’d ever met. In fact, it’s one of the things I love about you. You’re so honest and forthright despite my station. You’re one of the few people who I can trust to always be honest with me.”
Merlin swallowed and tried to think how to answer that statement. Arthur was rarely so honest in general and did he just say he loved him. Maybe he meant like…brotherly love. Arthur loved his father and very few other people? Merlin’s brain was having trouble functioning right now because he just didn’t understand what Arthur meant by that.
“Okay. Yes. I’ll always be honest with you, Arthur,” Merlin nodded. When he could be, he mentally added.
“Do you love me?” Arthur asked.
“Of course I love you, Arthur,” Merlin scoffed.
Arthur stepped closer. “Did you leave me a mid-winter gift?”
Merlin was suddenly a little nervous for what his magic had given Arthur. “Am I going to get in trouble for giving you a gift?”
“Not from me,” Arthur assured him.
“Then yes I gave you a gift,” Merlin said with confidence, “Made it myself.”
“I’m wearing it right now,” Arthur smiled and parted the sides of his cloak to reveal he was wearing a hand-knitted jumper that said ‘King Prat’ to Merlin.
“Don’t you hate when I call you a prat?” Merlin looked at the smile on Arthur’s face in confusion.
“I do, but this is different,” Arthur waved away Merlin’s objection by kissing him lightly on the lips.
Merlin pulled away from the kiss a moment after it began with a stricken look.
“Arthur, what about Gwen?” Merlin asked.
“Gwen?”
“Gwen, Guinevere, you know the wonderful servant girl whom you had feelings for the past few years? Excuse me for not wanting to come between either of my best friends!”
Arthur gave him an uncharitable look. “Merlin, what makes you think I would press advances on you if my heart were elsewhere? How little do you think of my chivalry?”
“Pardon me, but this is the first I’ve heard of you having any feelings for me, sire!”
“Pardon me, but I could say the same for you, Mer-lin! I suppose we’re both pretty good at hiding that from the other. And, if you must know, Gwen and I broke things off a few months ago because she wished to be with Lancelot. Also I had discovered feelings of a romantic nature for a certain lazy manservant, not that I told Gwen. However she could be very perceptive at times and I wouldn’t be half surprised if she sussed that out, as well.”
“Oh,” Merlin said and felt his shoulders dip with a release of tension that he’d unconsciously been holding in for what felt like days.
“Yeah, oh,” Arthur agreed, “You’re an idiot and if anyone asks we fought a lizard creature in that village not looking for rumors about Morgana while apparently Camelot was attacked by some fat sorcerer who rode flying unicorns across the sky and rained money on the poor.”
“What?!”
“That’s what I heard in the kitchen. I must have heard five different stories told to me from five different people,” Arthur rubbed his temple and pouted slightly, “Everyone is saying something dissimilar and it’s incredibly difficult to get a clear story because I don’t think any of these people actually saw this paunchy madman but they all claim to have received gifts? It’s a bit daft, really.”
Merlin shook his head and smiled, “Indeed.”
“Oh! Did Gaius tell you that my Uncle was injured this morning?”
“Agravaine? No, Gaius did not mention it,” Merlin frowned.
“He went to discuss something with my Father in his chambers and I’m not sure what transpired…perhaps they had an argument, but my Father apparently tossed a lump of coal at my Uncle. Nevertheless, he was knocked unconscious by the blow. Agravaine has not yet woken and Gaius isn’t sure he will,” Arthur looked saddened by this news and Merlin squeezed his forearm.
“I’m sorry, Arthur,” Merlin said sincerely.
Arthur nodded and took a deep breath, “I was just relying on his advice now that I’m Regent. He knows a lot more about all this than I do.”
“You know more than you think you do, Sire. You’ve been training for this day since you were a child, haven’t you?”
“You know, Merlin…when you say occasionally intelligent things it makes it harder to insult you.”
“Thank you?”
“But then I remember you’re also a terrible manservant. Did you know I had to serve myself dinner tonight?”
“Oh, no. However did you manage?”
“It was a chore, but I got through it,” Arthur leaned against the bedpost looking put-upon. “I need help undressing now, Merlin.”
“I think I can handle that,” Merlin grinned.