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Sonic had written the letter more times than he could count. Practicing his words over and over as he tried to find what to say and how to say it. How was he supposed to even write something like this?
How did he tell his husband in the past that he was suddenly shot forward into a future where he and everyone they knew were long gone? How did he explain his eventual decision to stay…
It was a lot. A lot of emotions and nowhere near enough words. Too many words and none of them were what he needed.
It took him months to write the letter. That part didn’t really stress him out. If his plan worked, he could leave it for Lance the very morning the knight would have woken up to an empty bed.
An empty bed… Sonic’s bed had also been empty.
Sonic was never one for serious relationships. He could count on his hand how many he’d had and with those same fingers how long they’d lasted. In a lot of cases it was a mutual understanding when they ended. Sonic was just too much for a lot of people.
Sally had always kept up with him in a way few could. She was a lot like Lance, if he was honest. They both grounded him, kept him from floating off into the clouds, never to be seen again. He saw the same spark in their eyes when Sonic would banter with them, doing or saying something just to get a rise. Even when it worked, both of them were eager to snap back with something just as strong. Worthy opponents in both wit and strength.
Neither of them took it to heart when Sonic ran off for days on end. Neither of them questioned when he came back, needing help brushing the leaves and flowers and twigs from his spines. Both of them set him free knowing he would come back to them. Just as well as both of them would stake his feet to the ground when they knew he needed it.
He always knew he had a type but this was starting to get ridiculous. Especially when he started to recognize his most recent target of affections. Of course, there were a few key points that made him a bit more uncomfortable about it all.
Shadow was also a lot like Lance.
Not just in personality as Sally was but in physicality as well. Of course they weren’t the exact same.
Shadow’s fur was a darker, almost night black where Lance was closer to a smokey grey. Shadow like the dark of his name sake, Lance like the metal of his. Their stripes were similar, both a nice red, though Lance’s were thinner. Their eyes were also both red but Shadow’s were bright and alien while Lance’s were a deep burgundy. And Shadow was alien. Very alien. Not in any way Sonic disliked. There was this otherworldly beauty to the details of Shadow’s features that made him stick out in their own way. His eyes shined brighter than normal. His claws and fingers just a bit longer.
They were similar but not exact. Sometimes Sonic wondered if there was a chance the hedgehog DNA used was from Lance’s bloodline. If that would somehow explain the similarities.
However, even in these thoughts, Sonic concluded that his mourning was still ongoing and any relationship he might want to pursue with Shadow would need to be at a later date. Instead, he kept rewriting his letter.
It wasn’t that he didn’t have the words to say, in fact quite the opposite, he had plenty of words to say. Years worth of words to say. But this letter was too important, his emotions too strong. What was put in there would be the last not just Lance but anyone from that time would probably ever hear of him. It was why he was sitting and giving much longer pause to what was going into it.
He decided even if he wasn’t done with the letter, he would go ahead and get its delivery set up. After all, he didn’t see Silver all that often.
Sonic made sure that the next time Silver was in their neck of the woods that he pull the other to the side and officially ask him for help.
“You said you needed to ask me something?” Silver questioned with a light tilt of his head.
Sonic was leaning against the wall with a nonchalance that was pretty common for him. He gave a nod and a hum. “I, uh, well I need a favor,” he started with.
“A favor?” Silver questioned in return. “What kinda favor?”
Sonic chewed on the inside of his lip in thought. He hadn’t really thought about how he would go about asking without having to explain way more than he wanted to.
“There’s this… letter I need sent out.”
Silver frowned and crossed his arms. “I’m not a post office, Sonic,” he bit.
Sonic groaned and let his head fall against the wall behind him. “It’s a time travel thing, Silver.”
“Oh,” Silver muttered, dropping his arms back to his side. “Wait, you need to time travel mail a letter?”
The speedster sighed and ran a hand along the back of his neck. “Somethin’ like that,” he mumbled. “Listen, I really can’t explain it all but… I need you to go into the past and put down a letter for someone. Could you do that for me?”
Silver’s frown kept as he looked at Sonic before looking down at his own feet. His hands found his hips as he gave a soft sound of frustrated consideration. “I dunno… Sending a letter back in time like that could cause major disruptions to the timeline.”
“What if—” Sonic hesitated with his next words. He needed to convince Silver to do this without telling him the whole story. But the first thought he had to do just that he really didn’t like. “What if I let you read the letter before you take it? You can decide if it’s gonna cause a problem or not.”
Silver looked back up at him with a questioning brow. “Why is this so important to you?”
“It… it just is,” Sonic mumbled. “Listen, Silv, I really can’t get into the details you kinda just gotta trust me with this one, okay?”
Silver’s frown didn’t really let up but his shoulders dropped just a hair and his eyes turned back towards the ground. When he finally did look back up at Sonic, it was with a drawn-out sigh. “I can read it first?”
Sonic nodded.
“Alright. I’ll do it.”
***
Sonic had forgotten about the letter.
‘Forgotten’ was a strong word. More like put it on the back burner. Every word he wrote felt like not enough and every paragraph was too much. He wasn’t really sure what to do. He decided that continuously stressing over it wasn’t gonna help either way. Silver had already agreed to take the letter when it was done and it could be dropped off the very morning Sonic disappeared so there wasn’t really that much of a time crunch. It just had to happen… eventually.
Eventually didn’t come as life continued to pass by. It was actually a while before Sonic even looked at the letter again. By then he had actually started dating Shadow.
They’d finally stopped dancing around each other and actually talked about their feelings. Since then things had been great. There wasn’t much of a honeymoon phase for them; they just weren’t that kinda people. They were happy to just keep being as they always were just with some added romance in the mix.
However, it was only a little under a year into their relationship before their first real hitch. Shadow learned about Lance.
Sonic had gotten sick right after the new year and was very lucky to have a loving and attentive boyfriend during the time. However, the fever that had plagued him caused his mind to cloud and any thought almost completely lost to static.
When Shadow had come up to him during one of these moments, in his lack of clarity, Sonic had for some reason confused him for Lance. Even to the point of calling him the wrong name.
He’d tried to wave it off as being delusional from his fever, but even he could tell that his lie was only making Shadow more anxious. The anxiety had clearly hit its peak when Shadow cornered him, trying to force him into telling the truth of the mysterious ‘Lance’.
But Sonic couldn’t say. He couldn’t find the words or even the heart to try and tell the story again. The fear of not being believed returned to him. The feelings he had let lie in the past coming back to haunt him. It was all just too much.
Sonic snapped at Shadow before running off.
That was when he picked the letter back up. He remembered having left it in his junk of a house and dug it out. He made his way off with it to Soleanna . Somewhere far off that hopefully Shadow or anyone else wouldn’t think to look for him.
He sat with the letter under a tree that had just begun to start budding again in the early year. He read over what he had last written with a sigh. He remembered why he’d stopped writing it for a bit. The words had just stopped working properly. The letter was like alphabet soup to his addled mind. He doubted he would actually be able to work on it in such a state.
Sonic put it to the side and laid back against the grass. He thought about Lance and the kingdom. About all his friends he’d made and then had to leave behind. He wondered how their lives ended up. He knew the fate of the Grand Kingdom, lost to war and to time after the peak of his rule. There was nothing left but ruins.
The very ruins that when Sonic found himself back in his own time he ran to and dug through. He hardly even knew what he was looking for at the time. Maybe Caliburn? Some evidence of the knights? Maybe even something to prove that it hadn’t all been some wild dream the whole time…
He knew it couldn’t have been a dream. No matter how long he was left questioning it, there was just no way it could have been a dream. There was no way that whole part of his life he’d lived was just a figment of his imagination.
He picked the note up again and looked over it.
Maybe it was time to tell someone.
He thought about if Shadow would even believe him or not, but in all truth, he wasn’t sure it mattered anymore. If anyone would understand the emotional impact of losing a home and a family so suddenly, it was Shadow. Maybe he wouldn’t believe him, but Sonic trusted Shadow to not make fun of him or try to call him a liar.
There was no doubt in Sonic’s mind that if he told Shadow the truth that the other would listen. Maybe that was all that really mattered. Not someone to believe him, but for someone to genuinely listen to him.
So Sonic found Shadow.
He wasn’t expecting to find him at that old trailer. Shadow must have been looking for him anywhere he could think, even though Sonic himself hadn’t been to his and Tails’ old childhood squat in many years.
He gripped the hilt of his sword tighter as he ran up to face Shadow.
The conversation had gone well. Sonic didn’t explain nearly as much as he was planning to, the words just kept getting stuck somewhere inside him, but he explained enough to ease Shadow’s fears and to feel more at ease in himself as well.
And Shadow had believed him. Honestly and truly believed him. It was better than he had hoped by far. When they went home Sonic found a comfortable spot snuggled up against Shadow on his couch to calm down from the rush of emotions. He also thought about the letter.
After he’d left Shadow’s house Sonic pulled out the letter once more. He reread what he had and then grabbed a fresh paper and started again. Finally, he finished the letter. With a clear mind and a fresh heart he wrote down what would be the last words he would give to that part of his life.
***
When Sonic handed Silver the letter the other gave a raised eye ridge. “What’s this?” he asked.
“That letter I need you to deliver, remember?”
Recognition flashed on Silver’s face. “That was so long ago,” he sighed. “I’d forgotten…” He looked down at the letter and back at Sonic. There was clear hesitation in his expression.
Sonic waved a hand at him. “Go on,” he sighed. “Read it. Make sure it’s up to your time traveler standards.”
The look of hesitation didn’t leave but Silver flipped open the letter. His face changed the second his eyes landed on the page. He looked back up at Sonic but the blue hedgehog was keeping his own eyes to the side. Silver didn’t say anything. Instead, he continued to read.
After a moment he closed it again and sighed. “There’s nothing about the future in this, at least nothing that could cause a problem,” he finally said.
Sonic looked up at him. “So you’ll send it?”
Silver frowned but gave a nod. “I’ll need the exact date and place but… yeah. I can send it. It’s just… what is this all about, Sonic?”
Sonic met his eyes. He saw so many emotions he wasn’t even sure what to make of half of them. He ran a hand over the back of his neck before giving Silver a tired smile. “I’ll tell ya over a chili dog someday. Just not today, okay?”
That gave Silver pause but he nodded all the same.
***
Lancelot woke up to the lack of soft blue fur under his arm. It wasn’t that uncommon that Sonic would rise before him. Probably out with Gawain or Percival for a morning spar. Or even with the blacksmith just “hanging out” as he’d described it.
He raised from their bed and stretched out his arms, throwing a hand through his quills with a sigh. He’d gotten up to reach for his armor and start his day, but was quick to notice a folded paper with his name scrawled on it resting just atop the desk.
He walked to it and flipped it open to read.
My dearest Lancelot,
I know this letter will find you more confused than anything else, and I’m sorry for that. I guess even Merlina’s spells have a time limit on them. I found a way to get this letter to you as soon as possible. I wanted you to know that I’m safe and alive, but that I am gone.
I found myself waking up back in my own time, the life I held before I found myself in your hands. I do not believe there is any real way for me to come back to you without knowing the sort of magic Merlina practiced. And even if there was, it is with a heavy heart that I admit I have decided it’s best I stay here. It hurts to leave you, but The Grand Kingdom was not my time or my home. It needed me and I took care of it in those moments, but my home needs me too. The people and planet I left behind have always leaned on me and I can’t abandon them.
Leaving the kingdom without a king will have repercussions, I know. But I also know that it’s nothing you and the others can’t handle. I trust you all to find the right person to lead you and take the kingdom into prosperity. The history books tell of many great years for the kingdom to come and I know you will all prosper without me.
Tell the others of this letter. Tell them that I am safe and that their memories will be with me forever. Tell them that I wish them all the best and that the years our lives crossed paths were just as beautiful and important to me as any other.
The same goes to you.
Lancelot, my knight, you will stay close to my heart for the rest of my days. I don’t know what comes after in this life, but if you see me, know that you will always be a part of me. No matter who I meet and who I lay with in the future, I will always love you now as I did then. And please, do the same. Remember me, but do not let my loss end you. Keep moving forward, my love. Continue to live and to learn and thrive in your life and your time.
With Love,
Sonic
Lancelot held the letter to his chest and fell to his knees in tears.