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“I miss my boyfriend, Jellie,” Scar complained to his jellyfish companion through clicks rather than hand gestures. Both were forms of merfolk communication– as was the expression of song when long distance– and while most would use what Grian referred to as sign language when this close, Scar was too busy utilizing his hands by reorganizing the human treasures he had collected over the years in his underwater cave collection.
It was mindless work as he had shuffled through and rearranged the items several times before, but it helped distract him from his heartache of missing Grian. Despite trying to distract himself, Scar complained and rambled to Jellie mostly to fill the loneliness that weighed in his heart. Jellie bumped her bell against his tail speckled with scales of green and brown– a tail underdeveloped and weaker than most. One of his tail fins was even missing! Despite the disabilities that got him shunned for being too weak to survive in the depths of the fittest, Scar was proud to share that his swimming strength was rather powerful! At least, it was compared to most creatures that roamed these seas.
Grian had stared in wonder when Scar had shown off his swimming ability before, hands flying in front of him to express his awestruckness even though Grian had been underwater at the time with– what was that stuff called that helped him breathe? Scooby? SCUBA? Whichever it was, Scar would never forget the way Grian lit up, even underneath all the gear he needed to adorn.
Scar’s memory wasn’t always the best, and he couldn’t remember all Grian had tried to convey that day as he used signs Scar hadn’t quite learned yet, but Scar did remember puffing his chest out in pride. Grian was proud of him and amazed at what he could do! It felt good– more than good! It felt fantastic and wonderful and all those other joyful words Scar struggled to recall at the moment, especially after being dismissed by some other merfolk for being an informidable burden several times before.
Jellie bumped against his tail again, and, this time, Scar spun in the water to face her. He cooed at his jellyfish companion, delighted to indulge them both by stroking affection against the top of her bell. His ear fins fanned out and swayed contentedly.
Jellyfish were simple creatures, so simple they didn’t even have a brain– or a heart, or blood, or– but Scar had grown fond of this particular jellyfish. She tended to stick around Scar and the underwater cavern he called his home, so Scar decided to adopt her as a sort of… what had Grian called her again? His pet?
Either way, it wasn’t like Jellie could cause Scar any harm! At least, not with his evolutionary adapted skin– that was something Grian had theorized about, anyway. Jellie’s tentacles did nothing but sting a little when they happened to brush against his flesh. In fact, it sort of tickled! Besides, what else would he have done? It wasn’t like she was a very nutritious snack, and Scar never enjoyed the taste of jellyfish. They weren’t usually worth the hunt nine times out of ten, and Scar didn’t see the point in shooing Jellie away when she caused no harm to him or his collection, so here she stayed!
"You have a jellyfish named 'Jellie'?" Scar recalled Grian signing to him earlier in their relationship, back when they were nothing more than friends– if that.
Perhaps they were more mutual curiosities, both infatuated by the other and what their life was like. Grian had communicated with human signs rather than the signed language Scar grew up learning, but they had spent many hours teaching each other words and common phrases in their respective language that Scar could fill in the gaps with context clues and guessumptions.
The human had looked at him with a raised eyebrow and an otherwise deadpan expression. "How creative."
"Thank you!" Scar laughed joyously, not holding back despite the fact he knew Grian couldn't hear him. It was enough for Scar that Grian could see how happy he made him even if his ears didn’t work like most humans’ seemed to. Grian was different from the humans, sort of like how Scar was different from other merfork, though Grian’s differences affected his ears and Scar’s affected his tail. Still, there was a comfort in them both being slightly… off. Not in a bad way, of course! At least, it wasn’t bad to Scar. In fact, it just made Scar want to know more. He was nothing if not curious. "I think so too."
Scar's eyes gleamed with mischief as a happy thrill traveled down his scales. The message must have gotten across, because Grian couldn't hide his smile behind his annoyed expression no matter how hard he tried. It took everything in Scar to hold back from peppering kisses all over his face, despite how much he wanted to. They hadn’t been at a place where Grian would allow such a thing yet. Scar had always been the more touchy of the two, though Grian began to enjoy his physical affection over time.
They were at that point in their relationship now for that sort of thing, but Grian wasn’t with Scar at the moment, much to his dismay. Grian hadn’t shown up the last several days, actually, and Scar was getting worried. His smile dropped as his arm fell to his side. Scar swished his tail until he reached the underwater cavern’s entrance and gazed up toward the distorted sky. “What do you think, Jellie? Should I try to find him?”
Another thing that ostracized Scar was his inability to shift. Most merfolks could disguise themselves as human-appearing at will, though the energy required to shift was reduced significantly the longer the shifted merfolk stayed away from the ocean waves. Shifting didn’t hurt much for the average merfolk, from what Scar had gathered. At least, it wasn’t supposed to, but for Scar, it always had. Well, it had when he tried once before– years ago, before he ever met Grian. It had been one of the worst pains he had ever experienced, and he hadn’t had it in him to complete the shift! He gave in to the torture; he had been a coward.
The entire experience was just another reason to despise the flaws of his body, hatred targeted toward himself that he had learned to forgive over time. Acceptance didn’t make it that much easier– at least not as much as he had hoped– and that forgiveness didn’t make him more eager to try again.
But… but Grian was important enough to him to get him to change his mind. Scar missed Grian. Scar wanted to see Grian again. Grian was worth the pain.
“You’re right, Jellie,” Scar clicked as he swam upwards, only partly aware that Jellie wasn’t following after him. “I need to try. I need to see him.”
Scar broke through the surface of the water with a startled gasp as the cool breeze caressed his face. He wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to dry air, nor the way it felt on his gills. The sun shone low in the sky, a sign that it was either rising or setting. He had never kept track of time as meticulously as Grian seemed to.
He ducked lower in the waves, not wishing to be spotted, only keeping the bridge of his nose and up above the surface. Scar surveyed the earth nearby, grateful to not spot any humans. Still, he carefully swam toward the shore, behind a formation of rocks. Once he shifted, he wasn’t sure how well he would be able to use his human tail– his legs.
Scar scrunched his nose, partly in amusement. Legs. They were such a funny concept to him, only able to bend in specific places. They didn’t even have any hard scales to protect them! Maybe that was why humans wore clothes– or maybe not, actually. Scar vaguely recalled how red Grian’s face got when he leaned toward his favorite soft… what was it? Sweater? Jumper? Regardless, he inspected the piece of clothing and wondered aloud– well, as aloud as talking with one’s hands could be– why humans changed their appearances so often. Grian had explained concepts like warmth and modesty and protection from the elements– oh! So it was to protect them! At least, partly so.
Maybe I should get protection too, Scar wondered to himself with a little frown. Who knew how fragile he would be once he appeared human? He physically shook the thoughts from his mind, knowing he needed to concentrate. Shifting was supposed to be something merfolk did on instinct, as a gift from the ocean itself, but Scar had lived so long without using the ocean’s gift that he was worried the ocean had given up on him.
Scar squeezed both sets of eyelids shut in an attempt to concentrate, pouring everything he had into urging his tail into legs. His mind spun with how much he was shoving toward an unmastered skill, so much so that Scar’s limbs tingled like they had been decorated with pufferfish spikes and his head stuffed full of seaweed.
He was starting to worry that he was going to pass out from the effort before he got anywhere near shifting. This sense of energy only continued to build and build and build, going nowhere, like it was stuck behind a barrier preventing it from going through. Scar’s lungs heaved and his hearts pounded and the energy continued to build up, pushing and shoving and–
And Scar screamed louder than he ever had before. His back arched as white-hot fumes filled his veins, as boiling as the volcanic gases and fluids that discharged from hydrothermal vents deep on the ocean floor. His body stretched and contorted as the ocean around him changed his anatomy, destroying him completely before reassembling his very being back together piece by piece.
Words couldn’t begin to describe the horrible sensations he felt pulse through him, and he was usually so full of things to say, yet Scar pushed through it anyway. He couldn’t give up. Not yet– not now! Tears streamed down his cheeks as swiftly as a coursing river, slurping up all the hydration that his body had stored. Still, Scar couldn’t find it in himself to give up, not when he had made it this far, not when this was his chance to look for his missing boyfriend, for Grian.
The rest of the transformation went by in an ear-ringing haze. All he could remember was suffering and weeping and aching as his limbs were devoured by heat and friction. It kept building, and pushing, and struggling, and fighting, and–
And then it stopped.
Everything went quiet.
He didn’t have any energy left in him to scream. He didn’t have enough energy left to feel.
Scar was numb in every sense of the word, like the amount he felt was so great that he simply couldn’t register anything anymore. He blinked away tears as he slowly gained back sensations, the sun higher in the warmly-painted sky than it was before.
Previously, before the price of the ocean’s gift threatened to drown him, he was a creature sculpted in the image of the sea. Now, he had been molded into something different, something more of the land. Where the sea and land met each other and embraced Scar, grains of sand coating his… legs?
Legs! He gasped in sharply as he studied the limbs that had taken the place of his tail. They were strange looking things, and he only had one of those human tail fins– feet?– with one being sort of nub-ish, but Scar couldn’t help but be entranced by them anyway. His new legs reminded him of the humans who swam in the water near his home, and of the humans that strolled on the beach. And, best of all, they reminded him of Grian.
Grian once used his legs to encircle Scar’s waist, an imitation of curling one’s tail around another’s. It was needy and clingy as his hands wandered Scar’s flesh and their tongues explored the other’s mouth. His face flushed red at the thought, a smile tugging at his lips. Oh, how I love him.
Scar tore his attention away from his legs in an attempt to pull himself together. He clapped his cheeks a few times and blinked, only to catch himself off guard. When he blinked, he very noticeably only had one set to control. The translucent layer wouldn’t obey his directions!
He pouted, promptly checking himself over for any other strange changes. The scales, fins, and gills from the upper half of his body had left him alongside his tail, a tinge of fear sparking in his lungs. Without gills, could he breathe underwater? Was he forced to only inhale dry air? Scar didn’t like that thought, and he didn’t feel keen on testing the theory either.
Instead, Scar forced a deep breath before attempting to rise to a vertical position like Grian did– attempting to stand. The anxieties and grief he had of his merfolk traits were shoved to the back of his mind as excitement took over. He was human! He could walk among them! He could collect more items than just what was near the shore or lost in the depths! He could–
Focus, Scar! He huffed out as he staggered to his tail fin– his foot. With one foot missing, he was having to bend the knee of his good leg a little awkwardly to make up for the height difference. He frowned, realizing that the missing foot would make it difficult to walk– even more difficult than it would be otherwise. Scar sucked in his lips as he took a look around to see what was in reach. He was relieved when he noticed a stick floating nearby, hobbling to it in the shallow water as quickly as his trembling sea legs would allow.
Scar tripped over himself, falling hard against the unforgiving ocean surface and the gravelly sand underneath. He cried out at the impact, the stick pushing away from him. His lower lip quivered, distressed and overwhelmed– negative emotions taking the place of his previous excitement. This isn’t how he thought this would go.
As if the ocean itself heard his silent plea, a gentle current carried the stick toward his grasp. He accepted the offering from the current, reaching out to the stick and pulling it closer. Scar utilized the stick as an awkward cross between a cane and a crutch. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but it helped reduce the strain on his good leg.
He limped through the uneven terrain, stumbling and tripping over seemingly nothing at all. The sun’s rays seemed harsher against his bare skin, and sweat started to gather into droplets on his skin. He found himself missing the water already, but he refused to turn back. There was no way he was going to do so now! He had to find Grian.
And so, Scar continued forward, even as his foot burned against the hardened earth that reminded him of rocks… just larger and flatter than any rock he had seen before. Noises he didn’t know how to conceptualize were all around him– and he had heard some of them before! Just, he hadn’t this close before. They had always been distant, something Grian told him were probably from the nearby town.
Scar had once asked if it overwhelmed him, and Grian tapped his ear to remind him he couldn’t hear. Grian went on to explain that tactile and visual sensory inputs overwhelmed him more, but he had also described it as an autism trait. Scar remembered nodding along even though he didn’t know what an autism was. From what he gathered, it was another thing that set Grian apart from most other humans, and it frustrated him at times when he complained about his day. From Scar’s perspective, more people should adopt an autism because it made more sense to him than this secret code Grian said that other humans had but wouldn’t tell him about. Honestly, it seemed exclusionary, and Scar hoped that he didn’t frustrate Grian like that.
He knew Grian acted annoyed at him sometimes, but he had assured Scar that he loved him. Anxiety pooled in his gut anyway as the pain aided self-deprecation, and he hadn’t realized where he was walking. A large metal thing halted in front of him, the screeching of the rubber black circles sharp enough to draw Scar from his thoughts.
The metal thing opened up to reveal a door, a tall, lanky human man emerging from its depths. His black hair was more tamed than he had ever seen Grian’s messy sandy blonde, he was well dressed, and the pink blush that spread across his cheeks made his mustache pop. Words of a language Scar didn’t know spilled from the human’s lips, and Scar gawked at him, confused.
He tried to click back a response, the noises feeling foreign in his throat now that he shifted from merfolk to humanoid, but it was all for null. The human’s face only contorted in confusion, before shaking his head and turning back to the metal thing. He tossed Scar swim trunks– something Scar had observed many humans wearing to the beaches near Scar’s home before.
Scar’s chin hit his chest as he looked down at his nude state. Did this human want him to put on the swim trunks? The legs went through the holes, right? Scar did his best to balance himself, only for the stick to fall over. Luckily, before he fell down to the hot rock, the human lunged forward to steady him. The human helped him into the swim trunks, gave him a towel to dry himself off with, and then led him toward the metal thing– a car! That was what Grian had called it, right, right.
He was a little hesitant to enter the car at first, but cool wind blasted him as soon as the door was open, which made him much more eager to follow through with the action and enter the vehicle. The artificial breeze rewarded him, a pleased rumbling hum vibrating in his throat. Besides, maybe this human knew where Grian was! They just had to get past their current language barrier first.
Perhaps this human knew the sort of sign Grian had taught him?
Scar tried to get the kind stranger’s attention, waving his hand, but the stranger just gulped in return. He mumbled something Scar still didn’t understand, but he accompanied it with a stop or just a moment sort of gesture, so Scar gave it to him, distracting himself with the things around him instead. Their travel via car didn’t last long, driving just enough to get someplace the stranger found suitable to stop.
Thankfully, the mustached man didn’t remove the winds even once the car jolted to a stop. Scar didn’t give him a chance to get a word in as his hands moved furiously to introduce himself and describe his situation.
“Stop, please,” the human pleaded with the rigid sign of someone anxious and not native to the flow of talking with one’s hands. He paused, a finger tugging at his collar briefly to give his throat some room before he took a deep breath and continued. “Sign slow or I don’t understand.”
“Okay!” Scar agreed with a grin, a pleased buzz building in his limbs as he recognized the language being communicated now. He’d just have to make sure he used human signs instead of the hybrid of languages he and Grian tended to default to. “Hi, my name’s S-C-A-R, and I’m looking for my boyfriend.”
“Nice to meet you,” he signed, becoming noticeably relaxed. His face was still flushed, which was mildly concerning, but he was quite pale so maybe being partly red was normal for him in this sort of heat. “My name is M-U-M-B-O. What’s your boyfriend’s name? Does he attend the nearby university?”
“His name is G-R-I-A-N,” Scar replied, stupidly over the moon with how thrilled he was to talk about his lover with someone– with a human! “Yes, university.”
Mumbo furrowed his brow, partially confused. “Wait, Grian? Short, blonde hair, deaf, loves the ocean– that Grian?”
“Yes!” Scar nodded enthusiastically. This was turning out easier than he thought! “Do you know him?”
“What a first impression–!” A stuttering series of huffs that could potentially be a laugh fought their way from Mumbo’s chest as he combed his fingers through his hair. “He’s my roommate. You got very lucky that I’m the one who found you. Especially before campus police were called on you. They wouldn’t be thrilled if they found you streaking, even if the university is located near the water.”
Scar only understood what half of those signs meant, but he didn’t bother inquiring further. The only important thing was that Mumbo knew Grian. “Where is he?”
Mumbo twisted the car’s key in lieu of a signed answer, which awoke the metal beast from its hibernation. He glanced over his shoulder a few times to check the rear as he backed up, not wanting to accidentally hit anyone, before pausing, switching the lever, and going forward again.
The journey was noticeably longer than the one before, but Scar was more than content to busy himself by staring out through the mostly-transparent glass to gawk at all the sites. Humans were fascinating– honestly, Scar struggled to fathom how Grian could be so infatuated by marine life when he lived in a world like this! Scar spent his whole life exploring and wandering his part of the seas, and now that he could shift, he was eager to spend some time on land– spend some time with Grian. Maybe they could sight see or eat a human meal together or maybe–
Scar’s gaze dropped to the nub that existed instead of an ankle or foot. He frowned, knowing that such a thing would prevent mobility even more than his missing tail fin had because he couldn’t utilize the currents or waters this far above the sea level. He would need to find a better way to get around if he wanted to do anything with his boyfriend, but that would be an issue for future Scar. Current Scar needed to stay focused, and find his boyfriend, and kiss him silly! Maybe, this time, now that Scar had human legs, he could wrap his legs around Grian’s waist!
He must have zoned out, encapsulated by his daydream, because Mumbo waved a hand in front of his face to try and get his attention. Scar jolted and turned to Mumbo, who was standing beside him outside the car. Mumbo offered his hand to help Scar up to his foot before reaching down again to grab the stick Scar had been using to aid him. Scar signed a speedy thank you before hobbling out of Mumbo’s way so he could close the door.
Scar hated how weak he felt in this body, more weak than he had even as a disabled merfolk. By the time they reached Mumbo and Grian’s shared dorm, Scar was exhausted. His limbs were achy and his one set of eyelids drooped– only having one set was still weird to him. Wouldn’t his eyes become too irritated when in water without the second set? Humans were strange, which was part of what he loved about them.
Anyway, he was getting distracted, though that was easy to do with how scatterbrained he could be. Scar shook his head as if that would help focus him before trudging on forward. Mumbo’s hand landed on his shoulder, tugging him back before he could go far. Scar turned to face the human with a raised eyebrow. Wondering what the hold up was.
Mumbo pulled at his long, nimble fingers awkwardly before signing, “Grian has been really stressed between getting sick and this huge project lining up… The fever broke, and the project is finished, but he’s been recovering from overworking himself the past eight hours or so? I don’t know how lucid he’ll be. It really took a toll on his body.”
So that’s why Grian hadn’t shown up. Scar frowned, the concern he had before being validated but only worsening his anxieties. He wished he could have been there to comfort Grian. Scar straightened his shoulders, puffed out his chest, and turned that frown upside down. Pouting wasn’t going to fix anything; He would just have to help Grian feel better!
Mumbo removed his hand from Scar’s unclothed shoulder, and Scar hobbled into the room. He nearly got distracted by a number of interesting human objects in the room, but all of that got tuned out when he spotted his beloved’s sleeping form. Scar set the long stick aside before doing his best to climb into bed next to Grian. He didn’t necessarily want to wake him, but he wasn’t exactly the most graceful as a human, and, well…
Grian woke with a start, flailing around wildly with a dazed expression before his mind had time to process that situation. His eyes went wide when he spotted Scar, promptly squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing them with his eyes. Lo and behold, Scar was still there when Grian reopened his eyes. “Scar? What– how–?”
“The ocean,” Scar answered before nodding toward Mumbo, “and your friend. He helped me, and gave me human shorts!”
Grian’s gaze flicked back and forth between the two of them in disbelief, his hands failing to form any more signs. Mumbo dipped his head, sheepishly communicating “I’ll leave you two alone.” before doing just that. When the door closed shut, Grian turned back to Scar and cupped his face. Scar had no qualms about leaning into his lover’s hold, even as Grian’s lips parted to gawk. Scar took that opportunity to close the gap with a kiss, something Grian melted into.
Everytime they attempted to part so they could better communicate, they found that they couldn’t bring themselves to get their hands or lips off one another. Throwing formal communication to the wayside, they allowed their actions to convey their emotions instead, completely enthralled with one another. Words were all fine and dandy, but Scar much preferred the bond they shared, the way they just knew each other so well they could read what the other desired based on how they reacted.
Scar’s heart raced in his chest as they took advantage of Mumbo leaving them the room. He grew drunk on Grian’s undivided attention as they explored the changes to Scar’s form in a much more intimate fashion than Scar had before.
The dance of give and take Grian led was overwhelming and all consuming in the best way– and, honestly? Scar wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.