Chapter Text
“You’re insane,” Isabela breathes out, wide eyed after Mirabel’s finished telling her her plan.
Well, not the worst thing she’s been called. At least that’s a victory that Mirabel’s willing to take. In full honesty, she was expected a complete fit from Isabela. Lots of flowers blooming suddenly. Maybe a bit of screaming. Definitely thought she’d get kicked out of her room immediately. So, it’s going much better than Mirabel expected at first.
“I prefer immensely creative,” Mirabel retorts, waving a hand. Isabela blinks at her slowly, like her brain has shut off for a moment and needed to be rebooted. “Besides, aren’t the most insane plans the most genius ones anyways or something?”
“No,” Isabela answers immediately.
Mirabel huffs. Well, then. “It would work though,” Mirabel points out anyways. “You don’t want your boyfriend, so just…give him to Dolores. Win win situation really.”
Isabela pinches the bridge of her nose. “There are just…so many things wrong with that sentence.”
Mirabel’s starting to lose her patience. Usually, her she had the patience of a saint, but dealing with Señorita Perfecta was always something that made it drop to drastically low levels quickly. “Listen,” Mirabel begins, “you don’t want to break up with Mariano, so just make him fall in love with Dolores and then he’ll have to break up with you. It’s totally foolproof.”
“Doubtful.”
Mirabel scowls and tosses her hands up, exasperated. “Well, do you have a better idea?”
Isabela is silent for a long moment before she lets out an even longer sigh. “…No.”
“That’s what I thought,” Mirabel says, her scowl ebbing away as a shit eating grin tugs at her lips.
“You could look less smug about it.”
Mirabel tries to wrangle in her expression but clearly isn’t successful as Isabela shoots her a glare. “Ugh. Just get out.”
Before Mirabel could even start to walk out, Isabela waves her hand and a vine grips her ankle, yanking her backwards. Mirabel sputters as she hits the ground, softened by flowers before she’s literally dragged out of her hermana’s room and tossed out of the doorway. Mirabel sniffs and stands up, brushing off flower petals from her shirt as she stares at the closed door in front of her.
“I guess some people just can’t handle being in the presence of such a genius plan-maker,” Mirabel huffs to herself before turning on her heels and marching straight to her own room.
__
Mirabel manages to down two full cups of coffee consecutively again the next morning before her mamá takes away anything containing caffeine at the table. Julieta side eyes Mirabel in concern as she hauls it away and towards the kitchen while Augstín pats Mirabel on the head with a solemn, “It’s for the best, Miraboo.”
“No, the coffee,” Pepa whispers in mourning as she watches it be taken away. She reaches out for it before Félix grabs her hand and guides her arm back down, shaking his head.
“Don’t encourage your sobrina’s addiction, amor,” he murmurs.
Pepa’s face drops as she casts a forlorn glance at Mirabel before nodding. Mirabel blinks at her, completely confused. Mirabel brushes off the exchange and turns back to what she needs to do for her plan.
So, they have to make Mariano fall in love with Dolores. Which should be easy since Dolores was clearly already heads over heels for him more than likely, they both liked Shakespeare and poetry and…
Actually, she has no clue what else. She could probably ask Dolores, though.
But how could they do this? How could she get Dolores and Mariano together to show Mariano how much they’d probably click? The library? They’d probably like to go and spend time together there. Or maybe a dinner? But how could Mirabel get them both there while he’s still technically dating Isabela—
“Ow!” Mirabel snaps, coming back to the present as a foot kicks her in the shin. She jerks her head up and finds everybody staring at her. Waiting. “Um.” This is awkward, she thinks to herself. “What?”
“Abuela asked what you were doing today,” Luisa whispers to her, ever the greatest most helpful person ever to be born in this family.
Mirabel blinks. “Oh. Uhh.” She can’t say that she’s helping Isabela break up with her boyfriend can she? Best not to add the part about planning to make Mariano fall in love with Dolores, either. Neither of those would help her and oh boyyyy, they’re all really staring at her now, huh? “I’m gonna water the…toucans?”
“Toucans?” Camilo repeats, whispering to himself in confusion.
Alma blinks at Mirabel. “…Water the toucans?”
“Yup,” Mirabel laughs off nervously. Down the table, Isabela has taken to closing her eyes as if not being able to stand to watch this all go down. “Lots of watering for them. Toucans really need it, ya know?”
“Oh, that’s…great, mija,” Julieta says, though her tone says otherwise.
“Juli, you need to check that coffee for substances,” Pepa badly whispers to her.
“I was already going to.”
“—water is super essential for toucans!” Mirabel continues to ramble, desperate to cover her tracks and completely missing the exchange. “Toñito, back me up here!”
Antonio nods solemnly. “They need water.”
Mirabel gestures to her primito. “See? Gotta water them!”
Isabela opens her eyes up and looks at the ceiling. “Take me out of my misery,” she says softly. “I don’t care how it happens. Strike me down with lightning if you must. Just do it now. Quickly.”
“I…see,” Abuela Alma says, only seeming slightly disturbed.
“Very hard work,” Mirabel nods seriously. “Will probably last all day.” Then, she’d have more time to plot if she’s left undisturbed.
Camilo squints at her suspiciously. Mirabel avoids eye contact and downs the juice in front of her before realizing it’s orange juice and nearly chokes on the citrus flavor, eyes watering as it goes down the wrong way.
“Are you…crying?” Camilo asks because he’s clearly not picked up that Mirabel is trying not to choke to death silently at the table.
Antonio smiles at him. “The toucans are very important to her,” he says helpfully.
“Please,” Isabela continues to whisper at the ceiling in painful secondhand embarrassment, “I crave an early grave.”
Alma looks over her familia in high levels of concern. Dolores seems to be the only normal one this morning, but that’s mainly because she has her ‘do not disturb’ earmuffs on, content to pretend nobody at the table exists.
“…La Familia Madrigal,” Abuela says, almost confused, but mostly just clearly wanting to avoid any more…of whatever was going on with her family this morning. Best to let them frolic around away from her. What if this lunacy is contagious? Might have to go consult with a doctor.
“La Familia Madrigal,” Mirabel wheezes out, throat burning. She jumps up from her seat, bashes her hip into the table, curses under her breath, and stumbles away, almost tripping on her chair on the way out.
“Quick, Juli, go,” Pepa hisses to her hermana, shoving at her. “Check the coffee for anything strange!”
“I’m going— do not push me—”
__
“Hey, Mira, wait up!”
Mirabel doesn’t turn around. “Time is of the essence, dear hermana of mine,” she says hastily. “I’m still on a mission!”
“Is this about Mariano again?” Luisa asks, catching up quickly with two lunges, which is super frustrating.
“Yup.”
“Just— hold on a second,” Luisa says, catching Mirabel’s wrist and turning her around. Mirabel huffs but relents, looking up at her hermana, irritated and impatient. She’s got to find a way to make Mariano dump Isabela and go for Dolores quickly. Who knows if Mariano plans to propose to Isabela soon? It would be disastrous.
Mirabel stares at Luisa. Luisa stares at Mirabel. Silence.
“Um.” Mirabel glances around, becoming confused. “What is it?”
Luisa opens her mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. She looks awfully awkward, a grimace on her face like she’s trying to figure out how to say what she wants, but can’t bear the actual thought of actually saying it.
“You need to curb your coffee addiction,” Isabela says in greeting, stopping beside them. She glances from Mirabel, who’s supporting a scowl now at her presence, and looks at Luisa. “What’s happening?”
“I— do you—” Luisa stammers out, a terrible expression on her face.
“Are you okay?” Mirabel asks in worry. Isabela frowns at their hermana.
Luisa takes in a deep breath before coming out with it finally.
“Do you…like Mariano?” Luisa asks hesitantly.
Mirabel instantly heaves as her stomach churns at the thought. She gasps, chokes, begins gagging. Plants her hands on her knees, crouched over, trying to keep her balance as she fights back the sickness in her body. Her? With Mariano? Oh god.
Isabela watches her, exasperated as always. Luisa seems mildly concerned now in a change of events.
“I think my soul just tried to leave my body,” Mirabel manages to get out, pressing a hand to her heart. Deep breaths, Mira, she chants to herself. “And, let me tell you, it was not going up!”
Isabela slaps a hand to her face, shaking her head.
Luisa’s eyes flicker between the two of them before settling back on Mirabel. “So, you don’t like him?” she begins slowly.
Another onslaught of gagging.
“No, she doesn’t,” Isabela answers for her before she’s clearly had enough of Mirabel’s dramatics and reaches out, yanking Mirabel up straight from where she was about to fall to the ground to really sell the scene. “Knock it off,” she hisses.
“Oh, thank god,” Luisa says, immensely relieved. “He’s too old for you anyways.”
Mirabel stops her pretending to be sick act to puff up like an offended kitten, ignoring the way Isabela still has the collar of her shirt held in a tight grip. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you’re fifteen and I would have killed him,” Luisa states bluntly.
Mirabel looks at her, shocked, before she glances over at Isabela, silently asking with a look of ‘are you seeing this, too?’ only to find her nodding along with their sister. Ugh. These two really are the worst.
“That’s what you stopped me for?” Mirabel asks, crossing her arms. She still has a bad taste in her mouth from the thought of her ever liking Mariano in a romantic way. Disgusting.
“Well…yes,” Luisa admits. “I was…worried.”
“Well, don’t be,” Mirabel waves off. “I don’t like Mariano like that.” Ew. “I’m just trying to get him to dump Isa—” She snaps her jaw closed quickly, wide eyes darting towards Isabela, who freezes with her. Luisa’s eyes narrow at them both, catching onto the scent quickly.
“You want him to what?” Luisa asks suspiciously.
“Dump Isa in the…fountain?” Mirabel says weakly, smiling awkwardly.
“Yes, she’s quite the annoyance, hm?” Isabela backs her up quickly to Mirabel’s surprise. She snags Mirabel’s wrist in a tight grip, giving a fake smile towards Luisa. “Now, if you excuse us, I have to go yell at her. About trying to get Mariano to toss me in the fountain. Obviously.”
Mirabel nods. “Lots of plans for fountain dunking— hey! Easy!” she protests when Isabela yanks her away swiftly.
Luisa stares at them, silently baffled and even more confused than she was before.
“You are a horrible liar. First toucans and then fountains? What’s wrong with you?” Isabela mutters.
“Like your excuse was any better,” Mirabel retorts.
“Oh, it wasn’t exactly an excuse. I am going to yell at you,” Isabela says calmly.
Mirabel scowls.
…Why was she helping her sister with her relationship problem again?
__
Mirabel stomps her way down the road, huffy and irritable. Never let it be known that Isabela wasn’t a woman of her word. She had went on for twenty-three minutes straight about Mirabel and her lack of tact and her poor lying skills and how Isabela isn’t going to be able to eat tonight at la cena because she feels physically ill at the thought of Mariano and Mirabel together and how it nearly sent her into a murderous rage internally at the mere idea of such an illegal relationship — which wasn’t even Mirabel’s fault, mind you, because Luisa was the one who voiced such an absurd thought out loud.
“Stupid sisters,” Mirabel mutters under her breath, kicking out and trying to send a pebble flying. Unfortunately, it just rolls under her sole, too small to kick, and nearly sends her falling on her face when her shoe scrapes against the road pavement. “Shit!”
A hand grabs her by the shoulder, keeping her upright, thankfully. “Please stop dragging your feet,” Dolores says in greeting, though her grip is gentle when she helps Mirabel straighten up. “You’re making my ears ring.”
“Lo siento,” Mirabel says, pitching her voice quieter automatically. Her eyes dart towards Dolores’ ears, completely uncovered. Her brows furrow in concern. “Do you want me to go get your earmuffs?”
Dolores gives a weak but genuine smile. “No, pero gracias,” she murmurs, gaze straying away from Mirabel and towards the crowds. “Abuela is nearby right now.”
Mirabel’s frown deepens. First Isabela and feeling like she needs to marry and now Dolores and refusing to help elevate her own pain because she was afraid that their abuela would see? Just how much did they break their backs to appease Abuela and they don’t really even notice how…wrong that was?
She sets that problem in the back burner as her eyes catch the sight across the street. In the library, no doubt in the poetry section, is Mariano, completely alone. No Isabela in sight or any other onlookers — well, besides Mirabel that is.
Mirabel, who snatches Dolores’ wrist and takes off quickly, ignoring her prima’s squawk of confused shock at the abruptness, a half cooked idea in her mind. “You’re bookish,” she says and Dolores makes another squawking noise, this time full of offense. “I need help. I got this writing thing due soon.”
Dolores eyes her like she’s lost her mind. “It’s summer break for you right now.”
“Yeah, see? And I’m already stressing about it just thinking about months from now,” Mirabel says, waving her free hand in the air. “And you don’t want your poor prima to fail and look like a complete and utter loser like she usually does, do you?”
Dolores’ frown turns into something just a touch of what Mirabel would dare call fierce. “You shouldn’t say that about yourself, Mirabel Valentina Rojas,” she admonishes sternly. “Are other people calling you such names again? I haven’t heard anything in a while, but—”
“Need help with this writing assignment, remember?” Mirabel blurts out all at once, desperate to steer the conversation away from such subjects. Yes, she does get called things still, but that was expected. She’s used to it and she’s also used to scrapping it up with her bullies when she needs to. She’s not the one who needs help right now. Or, well, not really. The writing thing was a complete lie. “You know, books? Pages? Words? Words that turn into sentences? Sentences that turn into—”
“Yes, thank you, Mirabel, I know what words do,” Dolores interrupts, a wince on her face.
Mirabel snaps her mouth closed, half worried she’s hurting her poor prima’s ears and half concerned Dolores might just walk away if she keeps annoying her too much. She pushes the door to the library open and steps inside, dragging Dolores inside. She swivels around and marches off towards where she had seen Mariano at, letting out a fake gasp of surprise when she sees him.
“Mariano!” she greets, too wide of a grin to be real. Dolores lets out a little flustered-panicked squeak behind her. Mirabel tightens her grip on her wrist when Dolores seemingly tries to bolt away. “I didn’t know you were here.”
Mariano looks up, surprised but welcoming. “Oh, hello, Mirabel.” His eyes flicker to Dolores, a smile on his face. “Dolores.” He looks back at Mirabel. “I was just choosing which I wanted to read next. Hamlet or Macbeth?”
Mirabel blinks. “Never heard of those,” she lies — they had read Macbeth as their last assignment before summer break had started. She then turns to Dolores. “What’re they about?”
Dolores straightens up and begins regaling a two tales: one about a man prophecied by witches to become a king and another about a man who seeks revenge against his father’s murderer. Mirabel half listens and she’d be fully listening but she was watching Mariano stare at her, his jaw dropped as Dolores dives into the complexities of their characters, one riddled with guilt and paranoia and the other who wrestles with his own mind about whether or not revenge is something he should take.
“‘To be—’”
“‘—or not to be’,” Mariano ends the quote and his eyes are not solely focused on Dolores.
Mirabel glances between them, a sly smile on her face. She had stepped back once they started talking and there was definitely chemistry there. She just had to get Mariano to break up with Isabela and then completely set Dolores up with Mariano and everything will be a-okay.
She mentally pats herself on the back. Mirabel cannot wait to tell Isabela about this — and to rub it in her face that her plan worked despite her hermana’s doubts. Obviously.
__
Mirabel practically skips home.
“What have you been doing all day?” Camilo says in greeting, having been standing ominously in the corner, eyes narrowed in suspicion — suspicion of what, Mirabel doesn’t know, but not even him interrupting her skipping could diminish her good mood. He crosses his arms and huffs. “Where have you been? Who have you been with?”
Mirabel raises an eyebrow. “Nothing, nowhere, and nobody. Why?” she lies.
Camilo gasps and points an accusing finger at her. “Aha! You lie!”
Mirabel narrows her eyes right back at him. “Excuse me?”
“I saw you with Dolores earlier,” Camilo says, stepping forward. He’s pouting, the fucker. “Why wasn’t I invited, huh?”
“School work,” Mirabel says, shrugging.
“We’re on summer break and haven’t been assigned any work over it,” Camilo points out. “See, another lie.”
Mirabel’s lips purse. “What do you want?”
“I want to know what you’re up to, I saw you sneaking around the other day,” Camilo answers, still pouting. “What have you been doing?”
“Nothing that concerns you,” Mirabel says and tries to walk around him, but he’s in a particularly annoying mood today it seems and steps in her way, blocking her. “Really?”
“You smoking weed?” Camilo asks bluntly. “You got a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Partner? Is that why you’ve been so secretive and sneaking around?”
“No, no, no, and no,” Mirabel lists off, rolling her eyes. “I’m not up to anything. Are you done with the interrogation now?”
Camilo looks her over and then sniffs, stepping aside. Mirabel eyes him for a moment before walking up to the door.
“Don’t think I’m not onto you,” he says seriously. “I’m going to figure out what you’re hiding, Mira, and don’t think I won’t.”
Wonderful.
“Can’t figure out anything if I’m not hiding anything!” Mirabel calls over her shoulder as she walks into Casita.
“Another lie!” Camilo shouts right back before the door swings shut in his face.
“Gracias, Casita,” Mirabel says brightly, patting the wall. She can always count on Casita to throw shade at her family members when they’ve decided to be annoying.
__
After a particularly disastrous family meal in which Camilo was shooting her suspicious looks and asking random questions like he’s an investigator from a detective show and Antonio asking if she had fun watering the toucans today which then prompted everyone to look at her like she’s lost her mind when she answered that she did, Mirabel barges into Isabela’s room again, ignoring her hermana’s squawk of shock, a flower statue she was working on exploding into a cloud of petals.
“So, Operation-Breakup-With-Mariano-And-Set-Up-Dolores is officially foolproof,” Mirabel gloats, throwing herself onto Isabela’s bed.
“Please,” Isabela says, a twitch in her eye, “just make yourself comfortable.”
“I am,” Mirabel answers without hesitation, leaning against a pillow — a very, very comfortable pillow. “Now, you wanna know what I set up today?”
“I almost don’t want to,” Isabela mumbles but then settles down on the bed anyways with a forlorn sigh. “But go on.”
Mirabel sits up quickly, unable to contain her excitement as she rehashes what happened after she was dismissed after Isabela’s lifelong lecture — from quite literally stumbling into Dolores and then hauling her into the library and then getting her to nerd out about Shakespeare in front of Mariano, who looked like his mind was blown away by their mutual love of Shakespeare, and how they talked for nearly a half hour before realizing it while Mirabel observed — not stalked — them through the library window outside.
Isabela blinks at her when she’s finished ranting. “I can’t believe this absurd plan might actually work,” she finally says.
“It’s because I’m a genius,” Mirabel says. “I told you.”
Isabela sighs. “Yeah, yeah. You did…good. Or whatever.”
Mirabel takes in a deep breath, the sudden approval setting her veins on fire. She stares at her hermana and realizes that she’s the only one who’s said such a thing in ten whole years ever since her fifth birthday.
Isabela frowns at her, half concerned, half curious. “What?”
“I—” Mirabel scrambles to recover from such a thought, at how vulnerable she suddenly feels in face of someone being proud of her — no matter how reluctantly — in years. “Um, your face is stupid—”
Isabela instantly scowls. “Out.”
With a wave of her hand, Mirabel is dragged out of her sister’s room once again and tossed out. Only this time, she stares real hard at the door that gets slammed shut in her face.
“She said I did good,” Mirabel mumbles, eyes wide. “I did something…right.”
Mirabel then blinks down at her lap. If she actually manages to pull this whole operation off, get Isabela out of sights of a loveless marriage and set up their prima with Mariano, then…would Isabela actually just hang out with her? Was that possible?
She picks herself up from the floor and walks over towards the nursery. Mentally, underneath Operation Bail Isabela Out of a Relationship, she adds another goal for herself:
Get Isabela to Hang Out with Her.
This one, though? Might just be harder than setting up Dolores with Isabela’s current boyfriend.