Chapter Text
[North Shore’s most wanted, 10:34 A.M., December 16]
gaylien: i wish i was a cyclops yk
Boykisser: MOOD
Calculust!1!: Where is this coming from?
gaylien: fuck havimg 2 eyes lije what if one gets damaged huh my vision is 50% now
gaylien: if a cyclops js has 1 eye tho then they can see perfextly
R.George: You can spell ‘damaged’ but not ‘like’?
gaylien: stfu
Fetch: Wait no Janis has a point
s3xy mows: 👁️🤕🫵❓
gaylien: some1 translate pls
Calculust!1!: She’s asking if you hurt ur eye (i think)
s3xy mows: 😁👍
gaylien: yea i fell oit of a tree
Calculust!1!: !! R YOU OK?!
gaylien: yesnt
R.George: Haha.
gaylien: shut up sadistic mf
R.George: Wow, rude. I am neither of those things.
Calculust!1!: Janis when was this?? Do you need first aid
Fetch: I think she’s fine she sits in front of me and doesn’t seem to b in too much pain ??
gaylien: wait we have a class together
gaylien: and yea im fine it was b4 school 2day
Fetch: Yes we do?? Gov ?
gaylien: o
gaylien: vibe ig
Fetch: Hiw did you not know this ?? We’re almost on winter break it’s been ? Like half a year ??
gaylien: idk tbh that class goes right over my heasd
Calculust!1!: Guys stop texting pls Mr. Rapp is staring at me bc I’m on my phone 😭
Boykisser: Oof
gaylien: sucks 2 suck lmfao
Boykisser: real
gaylien: caddy is he gone now
gaylien: caddy
gaylien: CADDY
gaylien: oop guess he took her phine smh
Boykisser: is ur autocorrect even on girl
gaylien: nope hahahaah
s3xy mows: 🤝👩2
gaylien: uh
gaylien: karen use englishs
s3xy mows: me 2
Boykisser: janis she probs means her autocorrect is off too
gaylien: o mood tbh
gaylien: karen ur a real one 4 that
Fetch: SHAKANSJAKSMSSJSJISISA JANIS!!
gaylien: wut
Fetch: DID YOU KNOW WE HAD A QUIZ TODAY?!?
gaylien: WHAT THE FUCK HELL WE DO
Fetch: YEAH OMFG IM GONNA DIE OR FAIL OR BOTH
gaylien: SHIT BYE IM GONNA KMS
Boykisser: DONT DO THAT
gaylien: RIP GUYS GRETCHEN IS FREAKIGN OUT AND I LOWK AM 2
s3xy mows: 🫂🫡
Fetch: THANKS KARE!!
Boykisser: yall should put ur phones away and like take the quiz
gaylien: YEA PROBS
gaylien: ALR BYE
[North Shore’s most wanted, 11:21 A.M., December 16]
gaylien: i fuckinf h8 ms wheeler
Fetch: Relatable 😭
Calculust!1!: Oooof did you guys take the quiz
Fetch: YEAH IT WAS SO BAD HELP
gaylien: rt im gonna die
gaylien: but liek i also dgaf about that class so wtv
Fetch: I DO THO!
gaylien: oop
R.George: Gretchen, I’m sure you didn’t fail. You are very intelligent.
Fetch: THAMKS REGINA ??
s3xy mows: 🥰🫶🎓 📣🫵
Fetch: AWWW KAREN <3
s3xy mows: 💕❤️
gaylien: haha gay
Boykisser: girl I know you can’t be talking rn
gaylien: shut it homo
Boykisser: HELPPPP
gaylien: im allowed 2 b homophobic if im gay thays legally how it works
Calculust!1!: I’m pretty sure it’s not tho?
gaylien: this is slander and homophobiw caddy wtf
Calculust!1!: I?? Can’t be homophobic? I’m bisexual?
R.George: The Janis was too stunned to speak.
gaylien: is any1 on this chat str8
Boykisser: hell naw
Fetch: n o ?
s3xy mows: 👁️🍳🏳️🌈
Fetch: Tell me you guys can understand that at least ?
gaylien: erm
gaylien: she saw a gae scrambled egg yesterday idfk man
Fetch: She said ‘I am pansexual’ 😭😭
gaylien: yea i did NOT get that but u go karen
R.George: I am not gay, for your information.
gaylien: yea for some reason i douvt that but pop off
Boykisser: real denial is perfectly normal hun
R.George: I am the straightest one here you bitches.
Calculust!1!: Gina that’s not saying much I’m so sorry 😢
gaylien: real Regina is confirmed homosexual by process of elimination
R.George: Shut the fuck up Janis.
Calculust!1!: Also that’s?? Not how you do math janis?
gaylien: this is homophobia
Fetch: Girl what we just went over this 😭
gaylien: i need to go find better friends you all js attakc me
Calculust!1!: 😭😭 Help
R.George: Do you want us to beg you to stay with us, Janis?
gaylien: omg
gaylien: yes do it peasants
gaylien: probe ur worthy of me
R.George: Access denied. Go fuck yourself.
Boykisser: LMAOOooOo I’m WHEEZING JANIS IS SITTING W ME AND SHE LOOKS FLABBERGASTED HAHAHAHA
Calculust!1!: HELP what is happening
Fetch: 😭😭 f in the chat for our fallen comrade janis
Calculust!1!: f
s3xy mows: f
Boykisser: f
R.George: L.
Fetch: REGINA WHAT 😭
Calculust!1!: 😭😭
gaylien: whoever has admin pleasa kick refina from this gc
Calculust!1!: Uh
Calculust!1!: Wait I thought I had admin?
Boykisser: we did a community vote and yall gave it 2 me
Boykisser: sorry caddy we didn’t want to risk you going queen b crazy again 😭
Calculust!1!: I-wow
Calculust!1!: This is betrayal??
Fetch: CADY NO WAIT ITS NOT LIKE THAT!!
Calculust!1!: Bye what my friends don’t trust me
s3xy mows: 🤚❌✅‼️
Fetch: KAREN TELL HER GIRL!
s3xy mows: thas nit truee
Calculust!1!: Karen is a true friend
s3xy mows: 💪👍🫂
Boykisser: anyways
Boykisser: janis no im not removing regina from the chat
gaylien: y not
Boykisser: tbh her humor keeps me alive
gaylien: WTH DMAIAN
gaylien: U TRAITOR
R.George: I am superior.
gaylien: DAMIAN FUCKINF ANWSER UR DMS
gaylien: DAMIAN YOU LITRLE SHIT
gaylien: YEARS OF FROENDSHIP AND U BETRAY ME 4 A HETEROSEXUAL
gaylien: FAKE FRIEND
R.George: Damian, don’t be afraid to use the power we all bestowed upon you to remove Janis.
gaylien: WHART THE FUCK
gaylien: NO DAMIAM DOMT REMOVE ME IM UR BSF
Calculust!1!: Bro calm down
gaylien: NO THANKS
gaylien: DAMIAN IF UOU DONT ANSWER UR STRAIGHT ISTG
Boykisser: AAH THE HORROR
Boykisser: girl chill
Boykisser: im not removing anyone this shit is too funny
gaylien: .
gaylien: wow ok i see how it is
Calculust!1!: It’s fair that’s how it is?
Fetch: Real
Calculust!1!: Gretchen Karen Regina where r you guys by the way?
R.George: I’m in my car blasting Chappell Roan with them. Why?
gaylien: CHAPPELL?? OMFG THERES NO WAY IN HELL GHAT UR STRAIFHT REGINA
Boykisser: wait theres still a chance
Boykisser: regina do you listen to girl in red or mitski
Fetch: I DO I LOVE THEM BOTH AAAA
gaylien: yea but we already knew that u were gay so like
R.George: I don’t know who mitski is, but Cady has played girl in red for me before. I like girl in red.
Boykisser: REGINA
Boykisser: HONEY
Boykisser: YOU SURE YOURE STRAIGHT?
Calculust!1!: I don’t understand what part of listening to girl in red with your friends is gay 😭😭 ?
gaylien: E V E R Y T H I N G
Boykisser: friends plural or just one friend tho caddy
Calculust!1!: Both at different times? 😭
Boykisser: I can’t believe I thought you were hetero once
Calculust!1!: Mwahaha
Calculust!1!: Wait I wanna listen to Chappell Roan w u guys
R.George: We’re in the front lot, Cady.
Calculust!1!: THANK YOU IM COMING THERE RN
Fetch: Yall know lunch is over in 15 minutes right
Fetch: And yk it’s a 7 minute walk right
gaylien: lol yolo ig