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“It had all been a big misunderstanding”, Madeline thought. It was the first month of filming for her movie “Thrust.” Young Madeline Ashton was thrilled - this was her very first job as a film actress. She had graduated with a degree in performing arts, and up until now, most of her work had been as part of the ensemble in off-Broadway shows. This was supposed to be her big break.
She remembered her childhood, and all the sleepovers she had with Helen. Back then, they used to build blanket forts in Madeline’s bedroom and light flashlights underneath. There, in that warm little yellow glow, they would dream about their future. A future where both would go to the same college, become actresses, share an apartment, and star together onstage or on the silver screen.
Helen’s face was covered in freckles back then, Madeline recalled, along with her reddish curls that gleamed in the sun when they played outside. She was the cutest kid in the world, Madeline thought. And she was also her best friend.
They used to sleep side by side, hugging their respective stuffed animals. Madeline had a classic teddy bear, the kind you’d see in TV commercials. Helen had a white goose with a tiny yellow beak. Goose - Madeline always thought it suited her. There was so much hope and happiness in their little hearts back then.
And now, Madeline thought, some of those dreams had come true. They shared a small apartment in New York - as close to Manhattan as their tiny paychecks would allow. “One day we’ll be neighbors with Katharine Hepburn,” Madeline would say during the many nights they drank cheap wine and talked about their rising careers. Her dream was to own a lavish mansion on the Upper East Side, and more clothes than would ever fit in a closet.
They were 25 now. After graduation, Helen had given up on acting. It had become very clear to her that sharing a career path with Madeline Ashton was not a good idea. No one could ever beat the blonde in terms of competitiveness.
There was a lot of resentment between them. Ever since that fateful day in college when Madeline stole Helen’s first boyfriend. Bobby, Helen remembered. “He wasn’t good enough for you. He was the one who hitted on me,” Madeline used to say. Helen wasn’t quite sure if that excuse was enough.
But they never stayed mad at each other for long. There was some kind of invisible magnet between them, like two opposing poles that always ended up drawn together. Madeline often wondered what made Helen keep coming back. And she always questioned the ways she herself had pushed the redhead away. But this was their vicious little circle. Madeline couldn’t stop thinking about Helen - even when Helen decided she was done with her. And Helen kept coming back.
These days Hel had a beautiful new shoulder-length haircut - auburn and soft. She now worked as a writer. Still waiting on her big break as she wrote her romance novels. Ever so sensitive, that Helen. Madeline admired how she always tried to find the best in people.
Madeline had been glowing with excitement when she landed the lead role in a film for the very first time. Sure, it probably wouldn’t earn her an Oscar. “But a job’s a job,” she told Helen when she got the offer. They celebrated with too much champagne and passed out on their apartment floor.
Today marked exactly one month since filming began for Thrust , a satirical take on the 1980s cartoon She-Ra. The script wasn’t exactly award-worthy, but all Madeline cared about was that she got to wear a short costume that showed off all her curves, and her long golden hair looked stunning under a plastic golden crown. She looked absolutely radiant.
The only issue was the action scenes. Madeline didn’t love doing stunts. And sometimes they had to shoot outdoors - the heat and humidity of Los Angeles drove her insane, not to mention how it made her hair frizz after hours of styling.
They were filming a swordfight. Her character had to fight four men while still looking sexy. The stunt choreographer walked her through the scene four times. It was a fairly simple routine. When asked about having a stunt double, Madeline answered:
“I’m Madeline Ashton. I always do my own stunts.”
It had all been a big misunderstanding, Madeline thought.
She missed her mark, started the movements before the director gave the cue, and accidentally hit her co-star in the face with the fake sword, knocking him down. As he stumbled, the other actors collapsed with him, like dominoes.
With three actors injured, the shoot turned into chaos and they had to quickly fix the lead actor’s facial bruise. Thank God for the wonders of makeup.
That night, Madeline ranted and cried into Helen’s arms.
“Oh, Hel… it was just awful.”
That was nearly three months ago.
The film was released - despite the madness behind the scenes. And it made it in time for the award season . Madeline was positively giddy. The script may have been garbage, but her performance? She was convinced she’d nailed it.
That is, until she opened today’s newspaper and saw - on page three - the headline:
"Madeline Ashton wins Razzie Award for Worst Actress in Thrust .
Her portrayal of this pathetic She-Ra knockoff was a nightmare for the few who managed to sit through it.
Did you hear she almost killed three actors on set?”
All the color drained from Madeline’s face.
This couldn’t be real.
THE Madeline Ashton with a Razzie??
She was supposed to win the Academy Award for Best Actress.
God, she had known she was the next Katharine Hepburn.
“HEL!” she called out, still sitting on the living room couch.
Helen, reading a book in the bedroom, came out at the unexpected scream.
“What happened?” Helen asked, her face concerned, seeing the watery eyes of the blonde woman in front of her.
“Did you read this?” Madeline snapped, shoving the newspaper into her hands, wrinkling the page in the process.
“I-” she stammered, visibly disgusted by the words trying to form. “I won a Razzie Award, Hel,” she whispered, a single tear slipping down her cheek. “They think I suck.”
Helen audibly gasped.
She knew the film hadn’t been great - but a Razzie?
That was cruel. Even if it was happening to Madeline - who wasn’t exactly the kindest person Helen had ever known.
“Oh, Maddie… you don’t suck,” Helen said, using a nickname she hadn’t uttered in years. But under that soft lamplight, with her face red and her big blue eyes brimming with tears, Madeline looked exactly like the little girl who used to play pretend with and who let her sleep over when life at home got too hard.
Helen’s heart clenched.
“This doesn’t mean anything. We both know how brilliant you are. You’re THE Madeline Ashton, for heaven’s sake! ” Helen sat beside her, wrapping her arms around the blonde, “The world will see it soon enough.”
“But the world already saw, Hel… and they decided they hate me,” Madeline murmured, resting her face against Helen’s shoulder, her makeup slowly smudging onto her friend’s blouse.
“It was just a dumb movie, Mad. You’ll get new offers soon,” Helen said, stroking her arm. “ Besides , I think you worked miracles with that script. A stunning delight in a disappointing franchise. ”
“You really think so?” Madeline asked, eyes shining, gazing deep into Helen’s green ones.
“Of course I do, Maddie,” Helen said with a soft smile.
“You know what? I think I know what could cheer you up. Let’s have a girls’ night.”
Madeline’s face lit up at the thought.
“Thank you, Helly,” she said, kissing Helen’s cheek - almost catching the corner of her mouth - leaving a bright red lipstick mark on the pale skin. A visible shiver ran down Helen’s spine.
“You’re such a good friend to me. I don’t deserve you.”
“Don’t say that.”
They locked eyes.
So many unsaid things hidden in the pale green and blue of their irises.
“Can we lie down in your bed? I’m so tired,” Madeline asked.
Helen nodded. She could never say no to Madeline.
She stood and took Madeline’s hand, interlacing their fingers as she led her toward the bedroom.
Madeline had always loved Helen’s room, though she’d never said it out loud. A modest space with a single bed, a sky-blue wall that, on one drunken night, Helen had said reminded her of Madeline’s eyes.
On the nightstand, a photo of the two of them from high school graduation.
It was such a cold night. Madeline felt a shiver down her spine, and the sting of unshed tears did little to warm her.
“Can we lay down for a bit?” the blonde asked again.
“Sure, Maddie,” Helen said, getting under the covers and making room for her.
Madeline lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, while Helen, curled on her side, gently ran her fingers through Madeline’s golden waves.
“Why are you always so nice to me, Helly?” Madeline asked, a single tear falling again.
“You’re my best friend,” Helen said. Madeline was the closest thing to family she had. The only constant in her chaotic life. “ And I love you.”
Madeline turned to look into Helen’s eyes.
Even in pajamas, with messy hair, she was still the most beautiful woman Madeline had ever seen. Her heart swelled with love - and something deeper she couldn’t quite name.
“I love you too, Helly,” she said, her gaze drifting to Helen’s rosy lips.
She drew in a breath and kissed her, a cold touch that made Helen freeze.
Madeline moved closer, pressing her body to Helen’s. The kiss was sweet. Their tongues met in a slow dance. Helen almost thought it was a dream.
Madeline’s fingers in her hair.
Madeline broke the kiss with a quiet sigh.
“Thank you for being here, Goose,” she whispered, using a nickname from so long ago it made Helen’s heart skip.
Madeline nestled her face into the curve of Helen’s neck.
“Good night, Hel.” Her breath sent goosebumps down Helen’s skin.
Arms wrapped around her waist.
“Good night, Mad.”
It almost felt like being back on those blanket forts, when nothing in the world could ever touch them.