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Bruce was nowhere near a perfect man but he liked to protect his children from what he could. Even from certain experiences that came with the job of being a vigilante.
So when he had to go undercover as Matches Malone he didn't tell anyone, shit (besides Alfred). Frankly, he thought it was for the better because he hadn't wanted any of his children to ever go into crime fighting in the first place; they had threatened him to go out alone and possibly get injured! What choice did he have!
So obviously the babies would want to join him as Matches and if he refused (because this was even more dangerous since it had a bunch of unknown variables) they would likely threaten him again and do it anyway! So he didn't tell Dick or Jason, when they came around. He didn't tell any of his kids.
It was for the better.
_______________
Jason had died.
He didn't like what he saw when he came back. A new Robin? A- A new Robin? A what? A- Aauuhha- A replacement or some shit!?
Had he really mattered that little that Bruce not only didn't kill the joker but he got a replacement too?
Th-This meant war! He had to get revenge f-for Bruce lying to him! Saying he would protect- be there for him- love him. But he clearly didn't love him if didn't even care enough to kill the clown that took his life.
But Jason had to be smart about this. He had to build a crime empire! He had to use something that would not only drag the Jokers attention but Bruce's too. He was going to make not only Bruce hurt, but his new Robin too then he would threaten Bruce to make the choice between him or the Joker. He had to give back the pain that he felt.
Yes, and he already has all this extra time on his hands to absolutely fucking destroy and rebuild everything. He'd probably only have to put some more thought into his plan right now it felt like an 5 year old drew up the shotty piece of shit plan.
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A new crime lord was running amok amongst Gothams underworld having taken the heads of all the lieutenants of every crime syndicate and was not reaching out to crime syndicates but taking them down and fusing with them making them part of his organization.
His name was Red Hood from what Bruce had gathered about him. His encounter with him was bad; he was well trained. Too well trained and to not be related with the Joker? This was not nearly enough to act on. He needed intel.
So who better to send in than Matches Malone to get some intel?
…
Probably the best choice...
Now just to not get killed…
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Jason had recently gotten a new henchman.
Which he only found out he got when said henchman was staring at a wall in his hideout hands on his hips as if contemplating the wall meanwhile 3 to 5 of his men were surrounding the man ready to jump him if he tried something.
There was almost a familiar- quality- that this rando seemed to possess…
The guy turned to him with a huge grin on his face and threw his hands up in celebration of seeing Jason "Ey,bigbwossman!” before Jason could even respond with a ‘what’ or ‘who the fuck are you? Why the fuck are you here? How did you find this place? What are you talking about? I'm going to shoot you.’ the guy spoke.
"Yaknow,thatwalloverthere,whatchagotgoin'onwithit?Terracotta,right?Justbetweenpals,mindifIask,don'twannatorchmyownjoint,yafeelme?” The guy was pointing at the brick wall he was originally staring at when he walked in. The wall didn't even resemble terracotta if Jason had heard him correctly, he didn't know because he was still processing what in the world was happening.
On second thought the person held no familiar quality. Anyone who spoke like that would've given him a brain aneurysm after 5 minutes.
"Ey, I'm sorry, bwossman, Iforgottuh introduce myself. Names' Matches, Matches Malone. Newh henchman." The man, Matches Malone, said putting his hand out. This time he caused less of a brain aneurysm yet he could still not fully understand him. He looked him up and down, his clothes were appalling, clashing with different colors and patterns, he had this weird little mustache, shades, a match between his teeth, and greasy hair that looked perfectly combed back.
He turned to his other henchmen “Is this some joke? Is he a spy or some shit?” Jason said with a scoff poking him with his gun at which Malone laughed. One of the henchmen spoke up meekly, pathetic but brave, “He's actually a pretty good guy who worked for a bunch of different bosses he's an arsonist sir, very efficient.” He said lifting a finger up weakly. Jason looked back at Matches who was still grinning.
“Fine. You're hired. Disappoint me and you die.” He was bluffing but he didn't know that. Matches grinned wider “Whon't disappoint ya bwoss” he said grabbing Jason's hand and shaking it. Jason didn't know whether to be angry or shocked or to respect his audacity. He decided on all of them pointing a gun to his chest so he'd let him go
Off to a great start.
_______________
-Bruce- Matches was starting to notice some things that he had learned from both Tim and Dick about teenagers.
Mood swings make up their whole person that and the creation of their identity.
Red Hood checked both those boxes as he realized today the example being:
“How the hell did you fuck up exploding their base!?” Red Hood was currently yelling at 3 unfortunate henchmen. “You should've taken that one with you!” Red Hood hissed as he pointed at him.
Matches was a little offended his name wasn't ‘that one’ and he accordingly frowned and was about to speak up. Then he remembered he had ordered some burgers he went to go get them, calmly walking away as Red Hood continued to yell. He had ordered an extra burger on accident (it was hard to break the habit that your dead son left you with) he grabbed the food from the delivery driver and threw the exact money at him (bruce wasn't a cheapskate but matches was) before slamming the door shut.
He walked in with the burgers as Red Hood was still yelling and shoved the bacon mushroom burger (Jasons favorite that he had accidentally ordered, some things you just can't drag to the grave) in Red Hood's helmet covered face he had no clue if this guy would even like the burger. But if he did take it and didn't kill Matches for shoving it in his face he'd get to see who this guy was. Red Hood froze he could almost hear his eye twitching. The henchmen also froze looking like they'd seen a ghost they shook their head at him telling him to stop.
He retracted his arm and pushed it against his head three more times. He unwrapped it and pushed it against Red Hood's face again “What is that.” Red Hood said now suddenly calmer but still had an edge to his voice as if he couldn't believe the audacity. "It's a cheeseburguh, bwoss. Bawconn’mushroomcheeseburguh. Youse never seen one of these before?” he said with a tilt of his head radiating pity and confusion in the form of a disgusted manner
To his surprise Red Hood took the burger and sniffed it once, twice “This is acceptable. I will eat this. You are excused.”
Now in all his years he only heard that sound from a satisfied teenager that was very pleased. He raised an eyebrow as he left he probably wouldn't keep his head if he stayed here and watched him take off that helmet it was worth a shot to see if he'd take it and taken the helmet off.
But now was not the time he had to test something here… for intel... yeah... intel...
Next day was boba.
The day after was chips.
The day after that was fries, ice cream, and a milkshake.
The day after that day was chili dogs.
The day after that day after that day was a salad with a vegan ranch dressing.
He noticed a 90% sucess rate in mood improvement the other 10% was unless it was something really serious or food he didn't like.
Hmm…
Boba and chili dogs seemed to work exponentially better...
Hmm…
Could it be that Red Hood was a teenager…? He seemed to want to be his own individual person as he seemed to display with literature, reading, and sometimes writing. Plus he seemed to have enormous mood swings when food was gifted.
Hmm…
One more test would have to be conducted…
_______________
The plan was simple. Whether it was Matches or Bruce a foolproof plan was guaranteed
“sixty-nine dollaws whoo-hoo!” he yelled at the top of his lungs with a scratcher in front of him to not seem suspicious
Red Hood snorted.
Hmm…
Interesting…
All the data pointed to one thing. This is a teenager that he's dealing with, a smart, competent and dangerous one but still a teenager nonetheless.
Maybe he could adopt this one. Guide him to the right path and show him that justice doesn't have to be cruel.
And maybe it'll help him get over Jason's death. God it hurt to even think about that.
No, maybe it'll help ease the pain and not get over it because in truth he might never get over his death. Does it help that this constantly angry teenager whose plans only seem to consist in a way targeted to hurt Batman and Robin reminds him somewhat of his sweet baby boy who loved books, literature, writing, cooking and being Robin? Yeah, maybe it helps...
_______________
Jason starts getting snacks from the new henchman. The top of his helmet gets a pat, before he can squawk, yell, and threaten the new hire walks away just as fast as the pat came.
Maybe it's been a little too long without contact. Maybe he doesn't necessarily move away after a week when he sees it coming. Maybe he's been looking for a replacement for Bruce unknowingly and if this south-jersey-accent-having-henchman is offering then maybe he won't decline.
Plus this henchman is surprisingly hardworking, well connected and efficient. So with all this in mind he promotes him. Because- he's great.
_______________
Cold Saturday morning they're sitting on the roof and somehow they ended up together again. Here Jason sits with the vaguely dad shaped henchman. Jason wasn't in the best mindset right now. He was going to hurt the new Robin soon and today was also the day he thinks he died and it made him think. A lot. Too much. It helped that the henchman also seemed to be in a thoughtful mood.
“For being a mobster and technically a villain I hate the joker,” Jason admits to this vaugley dad-shaped henchman. The henchman looks back at him. He puts his fist up for a fist bump Jason hesitantly fist bumped him back. “Most of us awin't fond of him, that's for sure. The bwosses I whorked fuh? They didn't much like him either. I think he's just bullyin' folks intaw whorkin’ for 'im. But I got a different reason for hatin' his guts. He killed my baby boy… my boy… I can't stawnd the sight of him” he gritted out for the first time Jason truly heard the henchman angry.
“I tried offin' ‘im, came close to doin' it. But damn, a string of luck and unlikely events saved his sorry ass. Cawn't believe the fool still whalks this earth. Seems like fate's awlways gotta stick its nose in, you know?” Jason was impressed that this henchman had almost killed the joker and his son was the reason he almost killed the joker. He came damn close to avenging his son. Jason only wished that Bruce would have done the same for him.
Maybe this guy would understand. Maybe he could help play a bigger part in his plan.
_______________
Red Hood turned to him. Should he really have revealed that much? Matches wasn't sure until Red Hood offered him a bigger part in his plan.
Which really he didn't know whether to accept because his whole entirety of his plans seems to just be to hurt Robin and Batman. So really should he accept? It'd look weird if he didn't accept. Plus he still needs intel. So reluctantly he agrees.
_______________
Jason rolls in a white board with the most intricate murder board in existence and he begins explaining
“-and Then I'm going to get Robin in his base in L.A. and beat the shit outta him. Just to show him I can, y'know? If the little bird really wants to fly that badly then he should expect someone to pluck him from the sky sooner or later!”
Then the henchman proposes a point “...Ey, whawt if Gothawm's Dawrk Knight showhs up?”
“Well, Batman doesn't really care about his kids like you do. Y'know, letting them run around at night... but he IS paranoid as fuck... and Nightwing could.... now thinking about it…” he kicks the board and whiteboard cracking it in half. He stomps on it taking his gun out to shoot it before he sits down at the meeting table and puts his head down in frustration and defeat “UGH...!"
“...Ey, you need some time to think about your plawn? I can go fetch you some tea, if thawt'll help you get your thoughts in orduh. Then I cawn listen to your scheme”
Jason covered his head with his arms and nodded “.......yes..... please dad..."
"Huh?"
"I didn't say anything!"
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Fin.
Maybe.
;)
