Work Text:
Danny appreciates the things in his life that are still normal. Like, for instance, though he hates it and it’s really more of an annoyance than anything, school remains a drudgingly boring constant. Mr. Lancer remains a slightly-less boring constant. Mr. Lancer is predictable. He’s a strict grader, swears using book titles, and has a soft spot for Danny.
So why does he have swords? Danny thinks wildly, floating a few feet away from where Mr. Lancer stands on the roof of the school, spinning a sword with a nonchalant expression on his face—his face, which has a fucking eyepatch! Mr. Lancer, to Danny’s disbelief, looks cool.
Danny’s invisible, of course, not daring to be caught. He’s on a stakeout. What is Mr. Lancer hiding?
It takes half an hour, but his patience pays off when a figure flips onto the roof. They melt out of the shadows, clad in black and blue, fingering the sticks in their thigh holster. They are, in Danny’s humble opinion, really, really hot.
“You’re late, little bird,” Mr. Lancer rumbles, and it is so weird to hear that tone out of his teacher’s mouth. Is Danny in an alternate reality? Is he hallucinating? Maybe he’s high. Maybe the pizza he had for dinner was infected with whatever his dad had left in the fridge last week.
“Barely,” protests the figure. A male voice. He steps forward, pressing the tip on his finger to the point of Mr. Lancer’s sword. “How’s class?”
Mr. Lancer levels him with a cool glare. Danny has a sinking feeling that he might be developing a crush on his teacher.
“Relax, babe,” the man laughs, sliding his hand down the blade. Danny nearly flickers with the surprise that word causes him.
Babe. Mr. Lancer is gay? And dating a man who’s at least twenty years younger than him? Danny can’t see his eyes underneath the domino mask he has on (which is a good idea. Maybe Danny should get one of those), but he’s at most in his early thirties. At most.
“How are your brothers?” Mr. Lancer asks, reaching out a hand and snaking it around the unknown man’s hip. Danny watches, transfixed. This feels like a private moment that he shouldn’t interrupt. But he can’t move, too entranced in the scene playing out in front of him.
-
“Oh, you know,” Dick says, waving the question off. Slade tightens his grip, just enough to elicit a wince before relaxing his hold. He tilts his blade towards the side, in the direction where his student is spying on them. Dick grins. “C’mon, I asked first. How’s your class?”
“I have multiple classes,” Slade says dryly. “You’ll have to be more specific.”
“You know who I’m talking about,” Dick says, moving closer, invading Slade’s space like he belongs there with that infuriatingly charming grin of his. Slade narrows his eyes, but Dick just grins wider. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and it’s that alluring disregard that keeps drawing Slade towards him, every time. “Tell me about the kid!”
“You just want to adopt him,” Slade counters. “He fits the bill.”
“There’s a bill?” Dick asks, looking supremely entertained. He’s having fun. Slade pinches his hip. “Hey!”
“Black hair, blue eyes, parent issues, traumatized,” Slade lists off lazily. “Ringing any bells?”
“Only me and the reds have blue eyes,” Dick returns. Somehow he’s managed to maneuver himself around the blade so that he’s nearly chest-to-chest with Slade.
“The girl,” Slade reminds him.
“Which girl?”
Slade flicks his forehead. Dick makes a face and swats at him. Slade catches his wrist, bringing it up to his lips and ghosting a kiss on Dick’s knuckles. Dick shivers, momentarily distracted, and Slade takes the opportunity to press his sword to Dick’s throat.
“Watch yourself,” he murmurs, low and dangerous. Dick just grins at him.
“Okay, fine. So my family has a thing for that sort of kid. That doesn’t mean I want to adopt him! Besides, he’s got a sister who’s legal, right? If she’s even a little better than the parents, she’ll fight for him.”
Slade almost can’t believe they’re having this conversation in full view of the kid himself (not that he knows they know he’s here), but it’s Dick, so he can absolutely believe it.
“Jasmine is exemplary,” he concedes, dropping his sword to point it at Dick’s ribs. “They both are. If he would just put a little more effort into his work, he would be getting straight As.”
“Aw,” Dick says, gleefully. “You like him!”
Slade glares. It delights Dick further.
“Maybe I could train him,” Dick muses in Arabic. “He fights well enough, I guess, but maybe I could—”
“No,” Slade says flatly in English.
-
Danny is going crazy. That’s the only explanation. He hasn’t the foggiest idea of what’s happening right now. And what language was that? Hebrew?
“Why not?” Bird (Mr. Lancer had called him little bird before, so Danny’s going with that; he’s got to call the guy something) whines. Danny flushes when he sees Bird place a hand on Mr. Lancer’s upper thigh.
“You’re a bad influence.”
Bird gasps, a hand going over his heart as he swoons into Mr. Lancer’s arms. “I can’t believe this injustice,” he bemoans dramatically. “Betrayed by my own husband!”
Husband?!
Danny thought they were
dating!
He didn’t even know Mr. Lancer was married!”
“I can’t
believe
it,” Bird continues woefully. “How could you, Slade? After all I’ve done for you!”
Mr. Lancer— Slade? Is that Mr. Lancer’s first name?—drops him unceremoniously. Bird somehow doesn’t fall, instead twisting his body so that he’s behind Mr. Lancer.
“Okay, but seriously,” he says, wrapping his arms around Mr. Lancer. “Why not?”
Mr. Lancer’s face pinches, the way it does when Danny doesn’t know the answer to a question or when he ditches class or when he asks to go to the bathroom for the third time that period.
“Oh,” Bird says, clearly catching something that Danny misses. “Hey. He's doing fine. He’s a good kid. I just want to help.”
“You don’t know him,” Mr. Lancer points out. Danny still can’t quite make himself believe that they’re talking about him. He doesn’t even know what they’re talking about! Why does Bird want to adopt him? Why did he imply Danny’s parents aren’t good? Danny had almost revealed himself then, indignant, but then Mr. Lancer had said that he thought Danny could ace his class and Danny found his jaw snapping shut and he kept listening.
“You do.” Bird cups Mr. Lancer’s face in his hands, bringing it down to touch their foreheads together. Danny should leave. He shouldn't be watching this. “It’s okay to get attached, you know. I mean, look at how I turned out!”
“Married to the man who kidnapped you?” Mr. Lancer asks dryly. Danny bluescreens for a moment. His teacher did what?
Bird laughs, kissing Mr. Lancer. Danny has to turn away then, not willing to invade a moment like this.
(Mr. Lancer is attached to Danny? What does that even mean?)
Bird says something in that other language then, and Mr. Lancer replies in turn, and then they’re kissing again which makes Danny uncomfortable because he really shouldn’t be watching this. It works in his favor when he hears an explosion, so he flies away as fast as he can, thankful to whatever ghost is causing havoc this time.
He’s less grateful when it turns out to be the Box Ghost.
-
The next day in class, Danny can’t bring himself to meet Mr. Lancer’s gaze. When he finally does look at him, just as the bell rings, Mr. Lancer gives him a private little smirk, and all Danny can think is shit.