Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sayu Yagami grew up in a world that was shaped by crime, in a world that was almost monstrously corrupt. Even though she was only fifteen, she was very much aware that sometimes, the bad guy won. Sometimes, justice didn't prevail. She didn't like it, of course, but what could a young girl that was still in school do about it?

That was where Ryuk, Kira, and, above all, the Death Note came in.

School had never been her strong suit. That was her older brother's jurisdiction. Light, as she'd tell anyone who would listen, was a genius. He'd change the world one day. Sayu was sure of that. And, on top of his general intelligence, he was amazing at academics, and was the top-rated student in Japan. Sayu was... not. She did well enough, but that was mainly thanks to Light's help. She was good at several things; baking, computers, knowing every piece of trivia relating to Hideki Ryuga. Memorizing facts related to her math homework, however, was not on that list. Of course, she wasn't exactly doing herself any favors, given how little she paid attention in class.

At the moment, Sayu was in English class, trying to remember how to translate verbs in the past tense. She swore she could feel herself falling asleep, but she tried to force herself to keep trying. Focus, Sayu, she ordered herself. Focus...

Even as she thought this, she found her eyes wandering from the paper, turning to gaze longingly out the window, counting down the minutes until school would end and she could go home. Soon, she'd zoned out for almost ten full minutes, staring out the window. The scene outside remained the same: a nice, neat little courtyard where she sometimes ate her lunch, and a tree where she liked to sit in the shade while she ate. There was no one there, now, and Sayu could almost picture herself sitting out there, if she closed her eyes.

When she opened them, a notebook was sitting underneath the tree, as if it'd been there all along.

Sayu blinked, rubbing her eyes. She could've sworn it hadn't been there only a moment ago, but there was definitely a notebook sitting there now. She continued staring at it, trying to remember if maybe it had been there, if her mind was simply playing tricks on her...

"Yagami. Yagami!"

Sayu jumped as her teacher slammed on her desk with his ruler, jolting her out of her thoughts. "I'm awake!" she said, almost automatically. She felt her face flush with pink as she tried to sit up straight and act like she'd been paying attention the entire time, though it was pretty obvious that the teacher knew she'd been zoning out again. "I'm... I'm sorry," she stuttered out, trying to ignore a couple of her classmates sniggering.

"Yagami, would you mind translating the passage into English for the rest of the class?" the teacher asked, unamused.

"Y-yes, sir. I mean--I mean, no, I don't mind." Standing up, Sayu gathered her notes, biting her lip as she tried to translate as quickly as she could in her head. "Um... uh... 'Listen for... for the voice of God and'... uh... 'and follow Him, and know that... in... in...' um... 'you will find your...'" She faltered. It was hopeless.

"Sit back down, Yagami," the teacher said, long-suffering at the hands of Sayu's own academic ineptitude. She did.

She should've been paying attention to the lesson, especially after that, but no matter how hard she tried, her mind was always dragged back out to the notebook that was sitting on the ground outside.

After class let out, Sayu told her friends she'd catch up when they offered to walk home with her, and instead made a beeline for where she'd seen the notebook. It was still there, looking as if someone had simply set it down, intending to come back for it later. Scooping it up, Sayu examined it, trying to find the owner's name. The cover had two words in English, but even Sayu knew how to translate them.

DEATH NOTE

Sayu frowned, flipping through the pages. This had to be some sort of joke item, a gag gift they sold in kitsch shops. Most of the pages were totally blank, but the first few had writing on them, all in English. Sayu was, however, able to read the header on the first page: How to Use It.

If you were to ask Sayu Yagami, months down the road, what she would change if she could change one, single choice she'd made in her life, her response would've been this: "I wish I'd just set the notebook back down and walked away."

But Sayu at that moment didn't have the benefit of hindsight, or any idea what would happen next.

She pocketed it.

Sayu sat on her bed, her English book open on one side of her, one of her school notebooks and a pen on the other, the Death Note in her lap, trying to translate the rules into Japanese. She'd worked out a few of the shorter rules - "The human whose name is written in this note shall die," "A person can shorten his/her own life by using the note," and, "The Death Note will not affect those under 720 days old" were the first three she figured out. She couldn't quite explain to herself why she was going to all this effort over what was clearly (hopefully) just a prank, but somehow, she couldn't stop herself from trying to figure this out. It wasn't every day you came across something like this. What harm could there be in messing around with it a little bit, just to figure out what it was? Or, rather, claimed to be.

"Sayu?" Light opened her bedroom door slightly, knocking on the inside wall. "Mom told me to tell you dinner will be ready in - what are you doing?"

Sayu looked up, relaxing when she realized it was only her brother. The two weren't as close as she would've liked to be - the age difference and their contrasting personalities probably contributed to that - but the two had always gotten along rather well. He'd helped her with her homework for years, after all, with minimal complaining.

"I'll be down in a second," she said, casting the notebook aside. "I'm just working on something."

Light approached her, noticing the English book sitting on her bed. "Are you actually doing your own homework for once?" he asked, a little amused.

"First time for everything," she shrugged.

"What's that?" 

"What's what?" Sayu asked, trying to play dumb.

"That notebook--" Before she could stow it away, Light had spotted the Death Note from where Sayu had set it down. Sayu wasn't entirely sure why she wanted to keep Light away from it. She just had a bad feeling about him having it. "...Death Note?" Light read, sounding about as confused as Sayu had felt when she first found it.

She decided to push her bad feeling aside. It wasn't like she was doing anything wrong. She took the Note back into her hands, though, as if to prevent him from grabbing it.

"I found it on the ground at school," Sayu said. "I'm guessing it's just some kind of joke, but I wanted to read it anyway. All the text is in English, so..."

"You make me do half your English homework for you, but for this, you'll go the extra mile?" 

"Yeah, but listen to this." She opened to the first page and read the first rule aloud. "'The human whose name is written in this note will die.'"

Light stared at her, eyebrows raised.

"Like I said, it's got to be a joke," Sayu said.

"Pretty morbid joke," Light commented.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking."

"I have to admit, for a prank, this is pretty elaborate."

"I'm just wondering why someone would even bother," Sayu said, sitting down on her bed again. "To make up all those rules and then just leave it lying around? That sounds like more trouble than its worth."

"Probably just to freak somebody out," Light said. "...It's not working, is it?"

"No," Sayu lied. 

"Good," he said. "If I were you, I'd throw that thing away and forget about it. Don't let whoever's playing this joke get the best of you."

"You're probably right," Sayu said, getting to her feet setting the Note on her desk. "Let's go downstairs."

Light nodded, and the two made their way to the dining room, Sayu trying to push the Death Note and its rules out of her mind. It wasn't working.

Sayu lied in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, trying to get some sleep. Sighing, she rolled over to her side, her eyes falling on the Death Note, which still rested on her desk.

Her brother was right. Someone was just trying to freak somebody out with it, and if she kept thinking about it, it was working. Obviously, the Death Note couldn't be real. There was no such thing as magical notebooks, or gods of death, or anything mentioned in the Note. 

Still, she couldn't help but think, over and over, "What if it's real?"

She shook her head, rolling over again, firmly telling herself that the Death Note was not real, if she wrote someone's name down, they would not die, and that it was just a really morbid, elaborate gag item, and that was that.

The next morning, Sayu promised herself, she'd get rid of it.

She knew, even as she thought it, that she was lying.

"The suspect is Takuo Shibuimaru, accused of attacking a woman in the Kantō region last weekend," the newscaster droned, a picture of Shibuimaru appearing, along with his name. Sayu and Light were watching the news as they got ready for school the next morning, their mother clearing the dishes from breakfast. "As of now, his whereabouts are unknown. Anyone with any information regarding his whereabouts should contact the local police department."

"Sayu, as long as that man is still at large, I don't want you walking anywhere by yourself after dark, you hear?" Sachiko said.

"Yes, Mom," Sayu said, somewhat distractedly. Her mind was mostly on the Death Note, still in her bag, despite her knowing deep down that she should just follow her brother's advice and throw it away.

If the Death Note was real (which it wasn't), would it really be so bad if she wrote Shibuimaru's name down? From what she'd heard, she'd be doing everyone a favor...

Sayu did her best to force that thought from her mind. Murder was wrong. Even if the Death Note did work, it'd be horrible of her to use it. She'd be just as bad as he was if she did that. The best thing would be if she just threw it away. So that's what she'd do.

Later.

After reading over the rules a couple more times.

Sayu stopped in the grocery store on the way home that night, having promised she'd get home by dark. She knew she was cutting it close, but she was running low on her stash of snacks in her bedroom. Pulling her hoodie up over her dark hair, Sayu glanced up at the sky, which was now streaked with orange and pink. She'd have to hurry if she'd catch the last bus home. 

"Help! HELP!"

Sayu whipped her head to look when she heard someone screaming. A young woman, probably only a few years older than her, was struggling against a larger man as he tried to pin her to a building, desperately kicking and clawing at him. Sayu's heart froze when she got a good look at her attacker's face. It was Takuo Shibuimaru. Hand shaking, she hid around the corner, and went for her phone in her pocket, dialing the number of the local police - thanks to her father, she had it on speed dial. But even as the operator assured her that someone was on the way, Sayu couldn't help but watch with sheer horror was Shibuimaru tried to drag the woman away.

Shibuimaru hadn't noticed her yet, and there was no one else around. Sayu knew that if she tried to intervene, it'd only make matters worse. He was twice her size, he could easily kill her, or attack her instead. But she wasn't about to just stand by while he did God-knows-what to that poor woman. She'd never felt so utterly and totally useless.

Unless...

It was a longshot, but Sayu had to know. She'd never forgive herself if she didn't at least try it.

Sayu grabbed the Death Note from her backpack, and wrote on the first page, as quickly as she could, "TAKUO SHIBUIMARU." Remembering the rules said the death would set in in forty seconds unless otherwise specified, and realizing that forty seconds may be enough time for him to do some serious damage, she hastily added: "RIGHT NOW."

Shibuimaru stopped what he was doing, a look of sheer terror on his face. Stumbling away from the woman, he clutched at his chest, sinking to his knees. The young woman took the opportunity for escape, running away, right past Sayu, not noticing her. Sayu stood, rooted to her spot, as Shibuimaru gasped and wheezed, trying to get to his feet. Skin clammy and eyes wide, he clawed at the wall, trying to get up, trying to call for help, but nobody came.

By the time the police arrived, he'd been dead for almost a full two minutes.

Sayu had run away a minute before that.

"Sayu, are you feeling alright? You've barely touched your dinner," Sachiko said. Sayu had been very quiet since getting home, staring at her lap, not making much conversation. She looked up when her mother addressed her, shrugging. Her father had, yet again, not been able to get home in time to eat with them, so it was just her, her mother, and her brother. 

"It's just been a long day," she said, unsure of what she could say. She couldn't very well sit there and say, "Well, Mom, I may have killed somebody earlier, so I'm not feeling very hungry."

"You look awfully pale," Light said, looking concerned. "Maybe you're getting sick."

Sayu nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I probably am. One of my friends has a stomach bug." Which was technically true. "May I go upstairs and lie down, please?"

"Well, alright," her mother said. "I hope you'll be in shape for school tomorrow."

Sayu nodded again, clearing her dishes and hurrying up the stairs. Once she was at the top of the stairs, she could hear Light and Sachiko speaking in hushed voices.

"She may just be stressed out," Light said. "She probably just needs to lie down. You know Sayu. She'll be fine."

If only he knew.

Sayu made a brief detour into the bathroom, turning on the faucet and splashing some cold water on her face, trying to bring a bit of color back into her cheeks.

"It was a coincidence," she said to her reflection. "You didn't make anything happen. And - and even if you had, you saved that girl. So you can relax, okay?"

She nodded, and almost looked convincing. She turned the water off and headed for her room.

"What a day," she muttered, opening the door.

It wasn't over yet.

When she looked at her bed, someone was sitting there, waiting for her. A large, pale-faced creature, with yellow eyes and sharpened teeth, long limbs and wild, untamed hair. It was grinning at her.

Sayu screamed, clapping a hand over her mouth. The creature didn't look too bothered, not even when the sound of Light's footsteps came hurrying up the stairs.

"Sayu--!" He threw the door open. "Sayu, what's the matter?!"

Sayu just pointed at her bed.

Light looked. He looked at Sayu. Then he looked again.

"...What?" he asked, genuinely confused.

Sayu gaped at him. "That -- that thing! Right there!"

Light was giving her a blank look.

"...You honestly don't see that?" she asked, pointing at the creature. She looked again.

Yep, still there. Still grinning at her. 

"Are you okay, Sayu?" Light asked, now looking concerned. 

Sayu glanced at her brother, meeting his gaze, and then looked back to the creature. The creature just gave her a look, as if to say, Get rid of him.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I--I must've just been seeing things. I think I am getting sick."

"Want me to tell Mom?"

"No!" she said, a little too quickly. "No--no, I'm okay. I just need some sleep."

"Well... alright. Call me if you need something," Light said. He left, still looking worried for his sister's health. And sanity.

Once he was back downstairs, Sayu turned her attention back to the creature. It was sitting up now, that same jagged grin still on his face.

"...Hello," Sayu said awkwardly, unsure of what else to do. "Am I hallucinating?"

"If you were, would your own hallucination tell you?" the creature asked. His voice was like sandpaper. 

"I--I guess not." Her fear subsiding some, she moved closer. "Can I ask what--what exactly is going on? And who you are?"

The creature's grin managed to widen, taking up his entire face.

"I'm Ryuk. And you're the human that found my Death Note."

Chapter Text

Sayu's breath caught in her throat when Ryuk said those words.

"Y... your Death Note?" she repeated.

"That's right," Ryuk said. He stood, approaching Sayu. She realized he was tall before, but now he seemed to dwarf her, almost literally twice her size. "I happened to have an extra Death Note on my hands, and I thought I'd drop it into the human world to see what would happen."

Sayu forced herself to look him in the eye, though she felt her whole body shaking. Determined to not appear as afraid as she felt (though, judging from Ryuk's grin, it wasn't working), she asked, "If you're not human, then... what are you?"

It occurred to her as soon as she said it that the question may come off as rude, but Ryuk didn't seem to mind.

"I'm a Shinigami," he said.

"A--a god of death?" she whispered.

"Oh, you've heard of us. Well, Sayu, what you may not have heard is that we gods of death haven't got much to do these days."

"How do you know my name?"

"Don't get too nosy, now," he snapped. "I'm being nice by explaining anything at all, so don't test me."

Sayu nodded, unsure of what to do. "Sorry."

"Now - all Shinigami really do nowadays is gamble and take taps, and take just enough human lives to expand our own lifespan. It's in our nature to live off the deaths of humans," Ryuk said. "Death Notes are how we accomplish this. Though these days, you bother to write a whole list of names, you get laughed at for working so hard."

"So there's more than one?" Sayu asked before she could stop at that.

Ryuk glared at her.

"...Sorry."

"Anyway... if we for some reason manage to get our hands on another Death Note, we're permitted to do what we please with it. We can keep it, give it to another Shinigami - though I don't think any of us have ever done that... or, we can give them to humans and enter their world. Most Shinigami take that option. The fact that most Shinigami never get ahold of a second Death Note is probably the only reason the human race hasn't died out completely... I have to admit, I was a little surprised you haven't done too much damage with yours." His eyes lit up with a wicked gleam. "At least, not yet."

Sayu just stared at him. 

Ryuk rolled his eyes. "You can talk now," he said.

She swallowed a lump in her throat. "So you have another Death Note."

"Yeah, the one I have is mine. The one you have belongs to another Shinigami back home."

Sayu hesitated, before kneeling down to go into her backpack. She retrieved the Death Note, with only one name written in it. Hearing Ryuk talk had made her realize that she'd like it to stay that way.

"Here," she said, holding out the notebook.

"...Huh?" He looked genuinely baffled, which almost made her laugh. She couldn't quite bring herself to do it, though.

"Take it back," Sayu said, trying to hand him the Death Note. "Give it to someone else if you want. I don't want it. I used it once, and... and I think it's best if I leave it there."

Ryuk stared at her for a second more, before he burst out laughing. Sayu flinched, backing away and hugging the Note to her chest.

"That's not how that works, Little Miss Noble," he said once he finished cackling, walking towards her again. He stopped barely a foot in front of her, so they were almost nose-to-nose. Sayu pulled back as far as she could, but refused to avert her gaze. "You think you can just give me the Note back and walk away like none of this ever happened? No. No. I came here for some entertainment, and one way or another, I'm going to get it."

"But I'm not even interesting!" Sayu protested. "I mean, what'd you even choose me for?"

"I didn't choose you, you just happened to be the idiot that picked it up off the ground. It could've been anybody. I'm inclined to agree with you not being very interesting, but you'd be surprised how much more interesting humans can be once they have that kind of power."

"I don't want it!"

"Well, if you really want to walk away, you can. But if you're not going to keep me interested, I really have to reason to keep you alive," Ryuk said, grinning.

Sayu felt the last bit of color drain from her face. "I..." She tried to form a coherent sentence, but the words kept getting lost on the way to her lips.

"And since I'm feeling especially nice, I'll warn you - now that you've used the Death Note, you can neither go to Hell or Heaven."

That drove the last bit of strength from Sayu's knees, and she sunk to sit on her bedroom floor, her back against the wall. The Death Note sat in her lap, and all she could do was stare at it. She'd wondered if killing that man would send her to Hell, but somehow, the idea of not being able to go to any afterlife at all terrified her even more. The idea of not-being was too much for her to bear.

"It's up to you..." Ryuk said, clearly delighting in her misery.

"None of this is happening," Sayu whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. "This can't be real. When I open my eyes, I'll be in my bed and none of this will have ever happened."

She counted to three in her head, and opened her eyes.

She wasn't in her bed, and Ryuk was still standing there, grinning from ear-to-ear. 

"Believe what you want," he shrugged. "But somehow, I doubt you'll take risk."

"I..." She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. This didn't appear to move him any, nor did she expect it to. "...Okay. I'll play the game by your rules... as unfair as they are."

"No one ever said Shinigami were in the business of being fair." Ryuk sat down on the floor next to her, as if they were old friends (and not in what was basically a borderline hostage situation). "So, what will you do next now that you have the Death Note?"

"How often do I have to kill somebody to remain entertaining?" she asked listlessly, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. A little piece of her still couldn't believe that this was her life, that any of this was possible, but most of her knew that it was. If it really was a dream, it was astonishingly vivid.

"Look, Sayu, if I were you, I'd keep in mind that you're in way over your head, here. There's nothing stopping me from writing your name in my Note right now and just going home."

"That's how this'll end, anyway, right?" Sayu asked, turning to glance at him. "In a week or a month or a year or however many years... I can't keep you entertained forever. So sooner or later, you'll write my name down and then I'll die. That's how this will all play out, isn't it?"

"Probably," Ryuk admitted. "But it's up to you how soon it happens. Maybe you'll live a long, happy life with me around the whole time. But that's unlikely. Most humans that meet with gods of death suffer lives full of misery and meet pathetic ends."

"Great."

"Oh, don't look so sad. Look at it this way - now you have a new roommate! Speaking of which, do you have something soft for me to sleep on?"

Sayu's head snapped up at that. "You're staying here? In my room?"

"Well, I can't risk the rest of the house, not unless you want your family to see things floating around with no one carrying them," Ryuk said. "And it's a long commute back home."

Sayu sighed. "Fine, I think I have an extra beanbag you can sleep on. It's a bit small, but it'll work until we figure something else out."

"What am I, your pet?"

"You are not sleeping in my bed," Sayu said. "At least not at the same time as me."

"Don't worry," Ryuk said, grimacing. That made her crack a smile for the first time all evening.

In the end, Ryuk slept on the beanbag and some extra pillows, snoring happily, while Sayu lied awake, desperately wishing that this all would vanish when morning came.

Sadly, this isn't that kind of story.

 "You know, Sayu, it's been kind of a slow day..." Ryuk said as she made her way home from school.

Oh, yeah. Because he'd decided he should get to accompany her to school. If she'd had trouble concentrating in class before, it had been a walk in the park compared to trying to concentrate with a Shinigami in the room.

"I told you, don't talk to me while there are other people around," Sayu hissed. "I promise - I have a plan."

And she did. She'd thought of nothing but the Death Note and what to do about it all day. Slowly, she'd come up with a plan that might keep her alive, but might also do a little good in the world.

Sick as she felt, knowing she'd taken a life, Sayu still firmly believed that Shibuimaru deserved what he got. And she knew that he wasn't the only person out there that did nothing but cause misery and pain and suffering to others, who had far more evil in them than good. Maybe she could do the world a favor by getting rid of those people. 

Deep down, Sayu felt that paying evil unto evil would only make matters worse, but what choice did she have?

Well, she did have one - she could just refuse to use the Death Note anymore and just die. But she wasn't brave enough to do that. She was fifteen. She still had things she wanted to do in her life. She wanted to finish school. She wanted to see the world. She wanted to get married.

She wanted to grow up.

"Where are we going?" Ryuk asked when she turned off the usual path home. It unnerved her a bit that he'd already memorized her route home.

"To my dad's work," she said. "I need to pick up a couple things. And I'll need your help."

"My help?" Now he seemed interested.

"Yeah. But first, we get coffee."

Soichiro was surprised, but pleased when his youngest child came by the police station with some coffee. He was often absent from home, working late hours on all sorts of cases, and didn't see his children as often as he'd have liked to - especially not Sayu.

"I wish I could have you stay longer," he said, giving her a quick hug. (Ryuk shuddered.) "I'm working on an important case, and, well..." He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, before taking the coffee from her. "Thank you for thinking of me."

"It's no problem, Dad," Sayu said, genuinely glad to see him despite her motives. "I'm just happy to visit for even a minute."

A phone rang somewhere nearby, which Sayu had expected. She'd just hoped she'd be able to stall long enough for it to happen, but it appeared luck was on her side."

"I'll be right back, Sayu," he sighed. "Stay here, okay?"

"Okay," she said, watching him hurry out.

Now it was time for Ryuk to do his part.

Soichiro's office was covered in security cameras, of course, but security cameras didn't work on Shinigami. Sayu couldn't exactly be seen on camera walking over to her father's desk and taking a good, long look at the papers on top of it, but if an invisible force (the air from the ceiling fan, surely) just so happened to knock some papers off, and Sayu, only trying to be helpful, just so happened to duck behind the desk to pick them up, and Sayu just so happened to be picking them up long enough to catch a glimpse of some suspects' names... surely no one would mind.

Sayu had just gathered up the last papers, and was running over a list of names in her mind - Kurou Otoharada, Miyasato Fukusaburu, Tamura Shigemasa, Niwa Korechika, Seo Haruhiro - when her father came back.

"Sayu, you're not supposed to be back there," he said, but he didn't sound too concerned.

"I know, and I'm sorry," she said, quickly coming back around. Kurou Otoharada, Miyasato Fukusaburu, Tamura Shigemasa, Niwa Korechika, Seo Haruhiro. "Some papers fell, is all."

"You should probably head home. I know your mother doesn't like you being out past dark," he said, sitting back behind his desk, starting to straighten papers.

"Okay, Dad. It was good to see you."

Kurou Otoharada, Miyasato Fukusaburu, Tamura Shigemasa, Niwa Korechika, Seo Haruhiro.

"You, too."

Sayu waved goodbye, and left the office, repeating the list of names over and over and over. 

And they said her brother was the only Yagami sibling with half a brain.

"So - what'd they do?" Ryuk asked, peering over Sayu's shoulder as she researched the men she'd seen in her father's file.

"Does it matter?"

"No, but I'm curious."

"They're all part of some gang - there's been some sort of kidnapping ring going on, where they take girls and sell them to the highest bidder. None of the charges have been able to stick, though," she said, going through various crime and law enforcement websites before she did anything. She wanted to be sure. In this case, the evidence looked awfully damning. "Dad can't tell us too much about work, but I think he's been trying to stick these guys with charges he can actually throw them in jail for."

She grabbed the Death Note out of her backpack, and stared at it for a moment.

"I'm gonna try something," she announced, and ripped a page out of the Death Note.

She hesitated, heart pounding, before she wrote down the first name: KUROU OTOHARADA.

Sayu sighed, leaning back in her chair. "It may take awhile before we know whether or not it worked," she said. "I think he's one of the underlings, though, so it's not too likely his death'll be covered up, especially if I happened to get him while he was in public..."

"You've thought this through," Ryuk said, impressed.

It was nearly half an hour before the news broke out. Kidnapping suspect Kurou Otoharada was found dead on the street, having been killed of a mysterious heart attack at the age of twenty-six. Sayu felt guilty for a moment, thinking of how he might have had a family and maybe even a child. Then she thought about how all those girls he helped sell into slavery had families, too, families that might never see their daughters again. She stopped feeling guilty after that.

"So," she said, "the Death Note pages work even when they're not in the book. That's good - I don't like taking it to school with me. Imagine if it fell out of my bag. It's safest here."

Sayu found an empty folder, one that she'd bought for school but never used, and began to rip pages of the Death Note out, putting them inside. In the folder, they looked like perfectly ordinary pages from a perfectly ordinary notebook. Quickly, she scribbled down the other names, trying to do it as if she were doing a simple chore. It still ate at her inside, but she decided not to comment on it.

"Hey, Ryuk, how many pages do you think the Death Note has?" she asked.

"I don't think the pages ever run out," he said. "Shinigami have been using them for thousands of years, after all."

"Okay. Then I need to stash the original someplace, too."

She thought for a moment, before slipping underneath her bed and finding the old storage box she used to keep her old diary in, and found the key in a desk drawer. She hadn't used the box in years, and had very nearly forgotten about it. Who knew it'd come in handy again?

"That lock looks pretty flimsy," Ryuk said as she opened it, revealing a small pink notebook.

"It is," she said. "This notebook is just a decoy diary, not the real one - my brother's idea. He helped me add a secret compartment to this box, watch..." Using the key for the lock, she pried open a small compartment in the lid, and a second, smaller notebook fell out. "I think the Death Note is small enough to fit in there, thought it may be a tight squeeze..."

Ryuk laughed. "Very clever!" he said. "I wouldn't have even noticed that."

"Yeah, Light's big on privacy. He has, like, ten contraptions and tests set up in his room to keep people from snooping in there. He probably has more that I don't even know about. But he's the only person besides us who knows about the compartment in here," Sayu said, forcing the Death Note inside and closing it again. Now she could just take the folder with the pages in it to school, and leave the original book here. She felt a little safer, knowing that. Not much, but a little. "He said most people would suspect a secret bottom, if anything, but not a compartment in the lid. He offered to help me add it when he found out I was only using a locked box to hide my journal."

"Sounds like a show-off."

"A bit, but you gotta love him."

"It would appear you've arrived..." Ryuk said, delighted, as a notification popped up in Sayu's social media stream. A live news broadcast, about the sudden deaths of several gang members involved in a suspected kidnapping ring.

Sayu opened the video stream, turning the volume up so Ryuk could hear, but she closed her eyes and tried her best not to listen. Even so, the names rang in her ears, echoing endlessly.

Ryuk watched as the news program listed off the gang members that had died within an hour of each other, all from heart attacks, all at a relatively young age, calling it an "inexplicable coincidence," and he just laughed and laughed.

"I have to admit, for a beginner, you're not bad," he said, flashing that terrible grin at her.

"And I'll have the rest of my life to practice," Sayu said. "Fun game."

Chapter Text

Sayu may not have been as smart as Light.

Okay, no "may" about it. She wasn't as smart as Light. But she also wasn't dumb. And she knew better than to use the same trick twice if she could possibly avoid it.

Getting information on potential victims criminals from her father's office had been a smart move the first time, but Sayu knew she couldn't do it forever. Even assuming she could somehow get Ryuk to cooperate with her for that long, it wasn't a permanent solution. Sooner or later, someone would get suspicious. People always did.

She had a plan.

"C'mon, Sayu, your mother won't be home for at least an hour," Ryuk said from the beanbag Sayu had set up for him. "Let's go downstairs and play some video games."

"Not now. I'm busy," she replied, not looking up from what she was doing, though the idea of taking back the DDR high score Ryuk had stolen from her was incredibly tempting. (Though he'd agreed to save the score under her name, for obvious reasons.)

"You haven't stopped typing since you got home from school! I didn't think you cared that much about your homework."

"It's not homework," Sayu said, "it's related to the plan."

"The plan" had become shorthand for "the fuckstorm that has become my life ever since I picked up the Death Note and began murdering people with it for your amusement so you don't kill me." Shortening it to "the plan" had made Sayu feel like her life had gone slightly less insane than it actually had. That, and it was less of a mouthful.

Ryuk perked up, then, and moved to crouch behind her, trying to peer at her computer screen. "Finding new names to write down?" he asked.

"Not exactly. It'll look kind of suspicious if I'm always watching the news and searching for criminals and stuff, plus, I don't have that kind of energy," Sayu explained. "So now, I'm going to have other people find criminals for me."

"How?" he asked, sounding genuinely interested. Sayu didn't quite like the odd surge of pride she felt when she realized she'd made Ryuk interested in what she was doing.

"I downloaded one of those anonymous browsers - the kind that don't save your search history and blocks any third-party cookies and extensions. This one lets me turn on a search proxy, too. That way, if someone went through my internet history, they couldn't find anything."

"Hm, but won't someone get suspicious if they see you're using an anonymous browser?"

"I'm way ahead of you. I'm hiding the icon to open it in a folder with some games I downloaded, and I'm changing the name and icon so it looks like it's one of them. I'll use my old browser to visit some regular websites every day - it'd be really suspicious if it looked like I just stopped going on the internet."

"Very clever, but what does that have to do with the plan?"

"Take a look." 

In the few hours since she'd gotten home from school, Sayu had put her limited knowledge of website building to good use. She was, she supposed, very fortunate to live in a decade where any idiot with an internet connection could create a web forum, and that's exactly what she had done. The forum, according to the description she wrote, was dedicated to "bringing the scum of the earth to justice."

We all want criminals to be brought to justice, but the world is not a fair place. Until now. Leave their name and their crimes, and maybe, for once, it will be.

The forum had only been online for two weeks, and already, Sayu was a minor celebrity. Though they didn't know her as Sayu Yagami, for obvious reasons - the forum-goers had begun to call her "Kira."

Where they'd gotten that, she had no idea, but the way she saw it, the more distance between her and her online persona, the better.

The first couple days, only two or three people visited the forum, and only one posted a name. Sayu had been expecting this - it wasn't like she could advertise openly, so the site would have to gain steam on its own. So she'd done a bit of poking around on the man whose name was given to her, and found that he really did do what the poster claimed he did.

So she killed him. There was really no other justification. He was a criminal, therefore, he had to die.

The next day, the same poster left a comment.

I don't know if you killed that horrible man, or if this was just some sort of coincidence, but thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sayu had read and reread that comment about a hundred times, trying to feel good about what she'd done. She'd helped somebody. They were grateful.

She didn't feel any better.

Slowly, new posters began to trickle in, offering up names like ritual sacrifices. To keep herself from going insane, Sayu set some rules for herself. Her first and most primary rule was that she would only go after people who had committed violence against others. Murderers, rapists, kidnappers. Robbers and drug dealers, she decided, would be safe from Kira's wrath, since many (if not most) of them had simply fallen on hard times and were trying to get by. Her second rule was that anyone who had already been arrested or tried was off her list, since the legal system had already taken care of them. Her final rule was that none of Kira's murders would be needlessly cruel. The problem with the Note's default method of killing being heart attacks was that heart attacks were painful, and the victim would usually be conscious the entire time. Sayu hadn't liked using it the first time, and she could hardly stomach the idea of doing it much more.

So, she'd chosen a quick, relatively painless way to die: sleeping pill overdose. The criminals would simply go to sleep and never wake up.

Within two weeks, Sayu had caused thirty-four criminals to meet their end this way. And every time, there would be more messages on the forum.

Thank you, Kira. Help me, Kira. Kill him, Kira. Save us, Kira. 

The name "Kira" was getting to be like poison on Sayu's tongue.

Sayu, Light, and their mother sat around the dinner table one night, making polite conversation over dinner, while Sayu tried to keep herself from being physically sick. It was getting harder and harder every night to keep her food down. Her stress levels were unimaginable.

The fact that Light sometimes turned the news on while they ate didn't help.

"--an epidemic of mysterious suicides have swept the Kantō region," the newscaster said. "Six more men have been found dead of sleeping pill overdoses since yesterday evening. Five of these men were suspected by police to have ties to the Mafia. Many have begun to suspect that the suicides can be linked, though this is confirmed. Some are even suggesting that this is the work of a serial killer, but, again, this is unconfirmed. The police are investigating--"

Sayu couldn't stand to hear much more, and seized the remote from the table, shutting the television off.

"Hey, why'd you turn that off?" Light asked, turning to her. "I was watching that."

"Sorry," she said, though she wasn't, really. "I just don't like hearing about stuff like that. It creeps me out!"

That was true, at least. Hearing about her own mass murders on public television was rather unnerving.

Sayu got to her feet, clearing her dishes. "May I go upstairs, please? I have a lot of homework to do."

Her mother gave her a very long look that made Sayu feel like she was a bug under a microscope. But after an agonizing few seconds, she said, "Alright. Get to bed at a reasonable hour, okay?"

"Okay, Mom!" She hurried upstairs before anyone could ask anymore questions.

Ryuk was waiting for her at the top of the stairs.

"Since when were you so squeamish?" he asked, following Sayu as she made her way back into her bedroom.

"Shut up," she said.

"You didn't seem to be too 'creeped out' by this yesterday morning, when you--"

"I said, shut up!"

Ryuk flopped down onto the beanbag again. "You may want to be a bit nicer to me, Sayu..." he said, sulking in a manner that was more befitted to a disgruntled teenage boy than it was to a semi-annoyed god of death. "One day I may get tired of all this and write your name in my Death Note."

"Right," was all Sayu said in reply, but the words still shook her. She knew she should be nicer to Ryuk. Normally, she was at least civil towards him, and sometimes, if she forgot why they knew each other in the first place, she even kind of liked having him around sometimes.

Then he said things like this, and she remembered, and pretty much went right back to hating his guts.

Despite her attempts to seem nonchalant and unaffected by Ryuk's threats, she still went to the Kira forum and pulled up the latest thread. There was only one new post since she last checked, and it made her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach like a rock.

Gihei Kawabe. 4 counts of assault on his record. He has been to prison before, but he never learns. He's my father. Help me, Kira. I do not know how much longer I can survive this. Help me, Kira. Please.

Sayu swallowed the lump in her throat, and began searching for this man's records.

Thank you, Kira. Help me, Kira. Kill him, Kira. Save us, Kira. 

The ICPO, Soichiro Yagami included, had been investigating the mysterious wave of suicides that seemed to be affecting the criminals of Japan for almost a month when they decided it was time to bring in L.

It wasn't that they wanted to bring in L. No one wanted to bring in L. They never wanted to bring in L. The man was an undisputed genius, but he didn't exactly have a reputation for being easy to work with. He was cold, calculating, demanding, arrogant, childish... and the most brilliant mind in all of Japan. They tended to only call on him as a last resort, but these mass suicides were getting out of hand. Once they'd heard civilians discussing the possibility of a serial killer they'd dubbed "Kira," they knew things had officially gotten to the point where they needed outside help.

So, L was called.

He didn't show up in person, of course. He never did. 

"Who's that?" Matsuda asked Soichiro, as an elderly gentleman made his way to the front of the room, carrying a laptop.

"The only man who knows how to contact L directly," he explained. "Nobody knows his true identity, either."

"Please be silent," the old man said. "L would like to address the delegates."

He opened the laptop, and a distorted voice seeped out, reaching every corner of the room.

"Greetings to all of you at the ICPO. I... am L. The difficulty of this case lies on its unprecedented scope. And make no mistake. We are witnessing an atrocious act of mass murder, one that is unforgivable. This case cannot be solved without the full cooperation of the ICPO. That is all of the police organizations you represent throughout the world. You need to make the decision to fully support the investigation at this meeting. Also I require additional cooperation from Japan's National Police Agency."

Some of the detectives and officers glanced at one another. So L thought it was a serial killer, too. 

If L thought it, it was almost certainly true. Even those who disliked him (most of the people in the room) admitted that.

"Whether this guilty party is an individual or a group, there is a strong possibility that they are Japanese. And even if they are not, we can be sure they’re hiding in Japan," L's voice said. "This... Kira, as their followers have been calling them. I have been following this case closely from the beginning, and though I admit I can't yet be sure if they are one person acting alone or an organized group, I think I know what their motives may be. They have been targeting criminals, most likely out of a warped sense of justice, a belief that they are doing the right thing. They have only killed criminals who were strongly suspected - or proved - to have committed acts of violence against others. Murders, rapes, kidnapping, assault. Kira believes that harming another human being is unforgivable, an offence that must be punished. Whether they realize the hypocrisy of their own actions, well... that is something I'll be able to tell you once I confront them directly."

"You wish to confront Kira in person?" Soichiro asked.

L didn't answer the question. "Kira's method of murder - sleeping pill overdoses - suggests a twisted sense of compassion, even towards their own victims. They wish to punish criminals, but they don't wish to see them suffer. Based on these facts alone, I think I will be able to lure Kira out of hiding. Or, at the very least, give me a better idea of where they are and who they might be. But I have some very specific requests, and I'll need each one to be met in order for my plan to work. Do we have an agreement?"

Soichiro spoke for them all.

"Yes, L, we do. What do you need?"

Chapter Text

L was, by all accounts, rather unusual.

He never slept. He only ate chocolate and other sweets. He didn't sit in chairs properly. He was always barefoot. And he only seemed to own one shirt. All of that would've been annoying but tolerable if his personality weren't so insufferable on top of that. L always assumed he was the smartest person in the room, and, to everyone's irritation, he was always right.

No one liked working with L, but when they needed him, they needed him.

So, the police force had cooperated with his demands. They'd found some willing participants (or, somewhat coerced participant, in the case of Lind L. Tailor), and everything was set to go the next day. 

At that moment, Sayu couldn't have possibly known that L was still awake at two in the morning, crouched in front of one of his many computers, searching the internet for every mention of the alleged serial killer "Kira."

They said Kira could kill without being present.

Impossible, L thought to himself. Even as he thought it, however, he realized he would find out for sure the next day, so perhaps it was a little too soon to be jumping to conclusions. People who jumped to conclusions tended to get killed. More to the point, people who were too quick to act on their conclusions tended to get killed. No, whatever he thought he knew about Kira, he would not move forward with it until he had absolute proof. L was no fool.

Kira, he thought, there is nowhere you can hide. I will hunt you down, and eliminate you. And, if this goes as planned, perhaps I can shake the faith your followers have in you as well...

Sayu, of course, didn't know any of this. If she had, things wouldn't have gone quite as easily as they did the next day.

No, at that moment, Sayu Yagami was asleep in bed, stumbling her way through dreams and nightmares, completely unaware of what was going to happen next.

Sayu was on one of the many "Kira forums" that were around. Now that Kira had an established presence online, she didn't even need to set up a new forum every time anymore - her fans did it for her, and they weren't too hard to find, once you knew where to look.

The fact that she had fans made her slightly sick to her stomach, but she tried not to focus on that, and focus instead on being grateful for having a bit of help. Her following was rather small, but an incredibly devoted bunch. There were some commentators who never even supplied names for Kira, simply hung around the forums and weighed in with their opinion of certain criminals whose names were suggested.

Definitely agree with this one. World's better off without this scumbag.

Keep up! Kira got them yesterday.

Kira wouldn't ever waste their time with petty shoplifters. Come back when you have someone who's actually worth the energy it takes to remove them.

It was comments like that one that creeped her out the most. People talking about Kira as if they knew her. As if they knew Kira.

What made it worse was that, in some cases, they kind of did. A couple commentators, usually the ones that followed her from forum to forum, had picked up on the fact that she only ever seemed to go after violent criminals. They were the ones who told new visitors to piss off when they suggested mere purse-snatchers or trespassers. Sayu never responded to the comments directly. She set up the first couple forums (closing them and starting anew every few days to leave less of a footprint), and visited the ones her followers set up for her, but that was it.

And yet, they always knew when Kira had found them.

Sayu couldn't help but feel like Kira was bigger than her now.

She scrolled through the forum, looking for new names, when a new post popped up.

Kira, if you're reading this, turn on the news. The ICPO is talking about you.

"What's ICPO stand for?" Ryuk asked, peering over her shoulder.

"International Criminal Police Organization," Sayu said quietly, her knuckles going white as she clenched her hand into a fist, trying to remain calm and keep her breathing steady. 

Ryuk gave a wicked chuckle. "You better check that out, don't you think?"

Sayu didn't say anything in response, but grabbed the remote and turned on the television, flipping over to the news broadcast the commentator mentioned. A young man in a police uniform was sitting at a desk, speaking directly to the camera.

"I head up an International Police Task Force which includes all member nations," he said. "I am known simply as L."

"Who's that guy?" Ryuk asked, tilting his head in confusion.

Sayu shrugged, not tearing her eyes away from the screen for a moment. "No idea," she admitted.

"Criminals around the world are being murdered by a vigilante named Kira," the officer said.

Ryuk glanced at Sayu, who had gone very pale.

"This is all alright," Sayu said, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself than anything. "I expected the police would get involved eventually. There's no evidence that would lead back to me and nothing to convict me with if it did."

"You don't sound so sure of yourself."

"Shh, I want to hear the rest of this." Even as she spoke, Sayu was staring at her lap, fidgeting with her fingers, desperately trying to calm herself.

The man onscreen continued talking. "Kira, if you're watching this, I've got a pretty good idea of what you're trying to do. You wish to make the world a better place by killing criminals. And Kira... I want to help you."

Sayu looked up, heart skipping a beat. What was he talking about? Surely he didn't mean...

"But I will need proof that you are willing to cooperate, Kira. I will need proof of your abilities, proof that you are not a mere urban legend. This man is named Lind L. Tailor." A picture of a man with long, shaggy black hair appeared in the corner of the screen, his name appearing in a caption below it. "He is a serial killer currently at large. He has killed many, including my own family."

Sayu's hands were shaking, already reaching for the folder where she kept the pages of the Death Note. If he was still out there, and if he'd killed L's family, then surely the world would be better off without him. Right?

"We are currently unable to determine Tailor's location. Kira, if you are as powerful as your followers say, perhaps you can help me. Help us."

Surely - surely - they wouldn't name him as their culprit if they weren't absolutely certain it was him. And if she could prevent him from killing anymore people...

Just as the officer onscreen said, "So, Kira, if you wish to cooperate and help the ICPO, dispose of Lind L. Tailor, and we will be in touch," Sayu wrote his name on one of the Death Note pages, concentrating on the picture of him onscreen.

"Forty seconds, here we go..." she muttered. 

As soon as the forty seconds had passed, the feed cut from the officer to footage of a jail cell, apparently being filmed on a security camera. A man was in the cell, leaning against the wall, grabbing at his chest.

Sayu's jaw dropped open.

It was Lind L. Tailor.

Tailor fell to the floor, dead, the feed cutting away just as a guard reached him.

She'd been tricked.

The feed didn't go back to the officer, as she'd expected, but instead showed a single black "L" onscreen, and a voice began speaking to the whole world. It wasn't the voice that belonged to the officer - this one was filtered through a voice changer of some kind, and was far more controlled, far steadier than the officer's had been.

"Ah... I had to test this, just in case, but I--I never thought it would actually happen," the voice said. "Kira... it seems you can kill people without having to be there in person. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't just witnessed it."

Sayu and Ryuk both sat there, staring at the screen. Even Ryuk seemed surprised.

"Listen to me, Kira. If you did, indeed, kill Lind L. Tailor, the man who you just saw die on television, I should tell you that he was an inmate whose execution was scheduled for today. The police arrested him in absolute secrecy, so you wouldn't have heard of him on TV or through the internet. It appears not even you have access to information about these types of criminals."

Ryuk laughed. "He got you there," he said, grinning.

"Shut up," Sayu whispered.

"That officer who was speaking to you just now was a perfectly ordinary officer who graciously agreed to be my stand-in for the purposes of this broadcast," L continued. "That was not me. But I assure you, L is real. I do exist. Now... try and kill me!"

Sayu was frozen in place. She couldn't have killed him even if she wanted to. To try would be laughable. All she could do was stay right where she was, transfixed in horror. 

"What's wrong?" L asked, voice condescending and self-satisfied. "Go ahead! Come on, right now! Kill me!"

The really laughable part was, she didn't even particularly want to.

"Can't you do it?" L finally said, after a good minute. "Well, Kira, it seems you can't kill me after all. So there are some people you can't kill. You've given me a useful hint. A dealer to a saver...  I'll tell you something that I think you'll find interesting. Although this was announced as a worldwide broadcast, the truth is, we are only broadcasting in the Kantō region of Japan."

Oh. God.

"I had planned to broadcast this message around the world until we found you, but it looks like that won't be necessary. I know now where you are. The police treated your first killing as an unrelated incident, but in actuality, the first of your victims was a suspect in Sinjuku. Of all the criminals that recently died of sleeping pill overdoses, this one's crime was, by far, the least serious. Furthermore, his crime was only ever reported inside Japan. I used that information to deduce this much: you are in Japan, and your first victim was little more than an experiment, which means you haven't been killing for very long. We decided to broadcast in Kantō first because of its large population, and, luckily, we found you. To be completely honest with you, I never expected it would go this well. But, it won't be too long now before I'll be able to sentence you to death."

Sayu could feel her insides seizing up. On some level, she had to give L some credit. He had style, and he'd completely pegged her.

Well, not completely, she reminded herself, gripping the Death Note folder a bit tighter.

But that didn't change the fact that Sayu was now certain of three things.

1. L was much, much smarter than her. Smarter than anyone she'd ever met.
2. L knew more about her than she'd care for him to know.
3. If he caught her, which was looking very likely, she would die.

Suddenly, Ryuk's threats paled in comparison. At least Ryuk would kill her without putting her through the legal system. At least she wouldn't have to go to court, face her family as they learned what she'd done. At least if Ryuk killed her, she wouldn't have to see her mother's face when she was sentenced to death, or be forced to choose her last meal, or walk to the gallows, knowing what was about to happen to her.

She never thought she'd see the day where Ryuk's threats seemed like the palatable option.

L wasn't done.

"Naturally, I am very interested to know how you're able to commit these murders without being present... but I don't mind waiting a little bit longer. You can answer all of my questions when I catch you," he said, sounding smug. It was nearly enough to make Sayu want to put her foot through the screen. "Let's meet again soon, Kira."

The screen went black, and Sayu shut off the television before it returned to the normal programming.

"...He's going to kill me," Sayu said blankly, staring straight ahead.

Ryuk said nothing; he just let out a wheezing, mad cackle.

Sayu glared at him. "This is all hilarious to you, huh?"

"Absolutely!" he said. "You have an opponent now! Just when I thought the game couldn't get any better. And neither of you know the other's name or face! The first one who gets their identity outed dies. Watching you two duke it out will be the most fun I've had in years."

Sayu tried to breathe evenly again. She tried to take some comfort in the fact that Ryuk was apparently expecting a show out of this - he didn't think it would all be over in a matter of days. "Should I take that as a vote of confidence?" she asked.

"Probably not, but it'll be fun to see who wins. Humans are so... interesting."

Sayu couldn't stand to hear any more. Without thinking, she rose to her feet.

"Where are you going?" Ryuk asked, though he didn't get up to follow. "Aren't you going to tell me your next move? Ooh, maybe it'll be more fun if I can guess--"

Before he could say anything else, Sayu left her room, closing the door behind her, hurrying to the end of the hall. Heart pounding so hard she could hear the blood pumping in her ears, she banged on the door, thinking to herself, Please be awake, please be awake, please be awake...

He was.

Light answered the door. "Sayu, what's going on?"

"Do you have a minute?" she asked, voice cracking already.

"I was working on homework, but--is it important?" Light asked, suddenly noticing how pale his sister was, how shaky her hands were. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her this scared. "Sayu, what's wrong?"

"I... I've done something horrible, Light!" she whispered, covering her face with her hands. "I--I..."

"You? Sayu, you'd never do anything horrible. I know you," Light said, trying to soothe her. He opened his bedroom door a bit wider, inviting her in. "Come on. Tell me what's bothering you."

Sayu nodded, moving into his room and sitting down on his desk chair.

"What do you want to tell me?" Light asked quietly, sitting across from her on his bed.

Sayu forced herself to look him in the eye.

"Everything."

Chapter Text

Sayu had never had a panic attack before finding the Death Note, but now, in this new phase of her life, they were becoming a near-daily occurrence. Every time she heard police sirens, she had to convince herself they weren't for her. Every time she heard of a new criminal on the loose, she had to try not to think about the inevitable hordes of people asking Kira to dispose of them. And every time she heard Ryuk's voice, she was reminded of her inevitable fate: the second she stopped being entertaining, she was finished.

And now, she realized that her time was probably going to run out faster than she realized.

She was rocking back and forth slightly as she sat on Light's desk chair, her fingernails digging into her skin. She dug deeper, even as it hurt more. The pain was the only distraction she had from Light's concerned eyes.

"You know what a Shinigami is, right?" she finally asked.

Light frowned, plainly confused. "Yeah, a god of death, but--"

"They're real."

Light just stared at her.

Sayu kept talking. "They're real, and I don't mean I believe in them in a spiritual way, the way someone says God is real--I mean, I know for a fact. They. Are. Real."

"Oh... kay," Light said slowly. Sayu could tell he probably thought she was crazy, but he apparently decided to humor her, because the next thing he said was, "What led you to that conclusion?"

"Oh, because there's one crashing in my room right now."

"Uh-huh..." Now he had the look of someone who was seriously considering calling the cops. "You're gonna have to elaborate."

"I'm not crazy." As soon as she said it, she knew it probably only made her sound crazier. "Trust me, I know how screwed-up this sounds. But it's the truth. I know this because... because..."

She trailed off for a moment. How in the hell was she going to explain the Death Note?

"Remember that weird 'notebook of death' thing I found at school?"

He nodded. "Sure, you said it was a weird prank, though, right?" Then, his eyes widened. "Oh, dear God. Sayu, you're not telling me you actually believe--"

Sayu rose to her feet, hugging her arms. She nodded. "It's real, Light. The Death Note works. The Shinigami dropped it, and when I picked it up, he became bound to me. He'll kill me if I don't keep him entertained, and the only way to do that is to use the Note. So... so I have been. I've been killing people for weeks."

"Sayu, are you telling me you've killed--"

"And that's not all. Light... Light... I'm Kira."

It became so quiet in that room, you could hear a pin drop from across the hall. Light sat on his bed, staring up at his younger sister. His breath was quick and shallow, his skin pale.

Finally, he spoke. When he spoke, his voice was miraculously level. In control. Just like the Light Sayu had always known.

"I don't believe you."

"Believe it. It's the truth. And I... I had to tell you..." Tears welled up in her eyes, but she tried her best not to shed them. She'd done enough crying for one night. "I don't know what to do now. I should turn myself in, but... I'm not brave enough to just die."

"Sayu, listen to yourself. It's impossible for you to be Kira. I've been with you at the same time people have dropped dead," he said. "Unless you were killing people with me right there--"

"I was."

"Sayu!" She wasn't sure if his voice sounded more angry or worried. "I don't know how Kira's power works, but I do know, he's not you."

She let out a mirthless laugh, shaking her head. Of course he didn't believe her. The story was too insane to be believed.

There was only one way to get him to stop staring at her like she had two heads.

"I can prove it," she said. "Who do you want dead?"

[BLAH BLAH FINISH THIS SCENE LATER]

[arrested development narrator voice: there would be no later]

"Listen to me, Sayu..." Light took her hands in his, staring intently into her eyes. Despite the chill creeping up her spine, she forced herself to meet his gaze. "We've been given an opportunity most couldn't even dream of. Dirty cops, criminals that walk, monsters that have managed to stay hidden -- finally, we have a way to punish them. We could use the Death Note for good. It'd be evil not to."

Sayu shivered. He was making a strange sort of sense, but the idea of playing God, using the Note more often than necessary...

Light continued talking. "Think of the potential. The great things we could do. We could... Sayu, we could create a brand new world."

Sayu looked at Light. And she looked at the Death Note. And she looked at Ryuk, still grinning from ear-to-ear.

The Shinigami wanted a show?

Okay.

She'd give him a show.

She took one more shaking breath, before giving her answer.

"Okay."

And that is how one Kira became two. Despite her apprehensions about using the notebook this way, Sayu decided to try and be optimistic. Or, at least, as optimistic as she could be, under the circumstances.

They had an untraceable weapon, and the smartest person Sayu knew.

Together, they could pull this off.

Together, they could make a difference.

Together, they could change the world.

Chapter Text

A bulletpoint list of Shit I Meant to Happen in This Fic (in Roughly Chronological Order).

• Light becomes the second Kira, and he's initially supposed to be helping Sayu cover her ass and stick to her very strict moral code, but because he's Light, he quickly starts taking over as "the" Kira, and consequentially, Kira's morality shifts in a way that is VERY FUCKING NOTICABLE to both Kira's followers and L.
• L is like "what the fuck" and quickly realizes that there are two individuals using the Kira identity, probably working together. He likes this new Kira even less than he liked the original, but also finds the new Kira to be more interesting and a more challenging adversary, so this is very difficult for him, as you can imagine.
• Sayu is increasingly uncomfortable with the new direction Light is taking things, but due to him being the beloved older brother she's always looked up to, not to mention his sheer force of personality and her feeling inadequate next to him, she doesn't really know how to stand up to him. A loooooot of the story would focus on this dynamic and the ensuing power struggle; Sayu started Kira, and built up the initial following of Kira worshippers, but Light essentially hijacks it and makes it something much closer to what it is in canon, very much against Sayu's wishes.
• I envisioned this as becoming a sort of coming-of-age story for Sayu, forced to grow up too fast, first because of the Death Note, and then because of the slow realization that the big brother she absolutely adores is a bad person and maybe always was. She'd start to stifle under his "leadership" and begin to quietly rebel, trying to do things her way under his nose. She'd realize she's smarter than she realizes, and that she's never actually BEEN stupid; she's just been compared to Light by everyone her entire life, and she's literally just a normal-ass teenager, and that's fine!
• At the same time, Sayu would grow more cynical and be forced to compromise her morals to survive, having a full nervous breakdown when she and Light kill Naomi (MY QUEEN), who Sayu KNOWS is a good person who doesn't deserve to die, solely to cover their asses. One of the big turning points in her relationship with Light would be realizing that he wasn't really remorseful about killing Naomi, and was only pretending for Sayu's benefit.
• One of my major changes for the original Death Note story was that, once Misa got involved, Sayu would become infatuated with her. This was the result of a single throwaway line in canon where Sayu says, "Misa is my type!" I always headcanoned Sayu as being bisexual, and this is my fic, so I am God. Not in a Kira way, in a "I'm hitting all my faves with the sapphic beam" way.
• Misa would struggle a lot, due to aligning more with Light's brand of "justice", but having more personal loyalty to Sayu, since she's the one who killed the robber that killed her parents. Rem VASTLY prefers Sayu and, like in canon, wishes she could throw Light off a cliff. She only doesn't because Sayu loves Light, so killing Light would upset Sayu, which would then upset Misa.
• When monitoring the Yagamis, L realizes Light and Sayu are Kira very quickly. For two vigilantes these two are not great at staying off the radar.
• This fic's version of the memory loss arc has Sayu, completely wracked with guilt, deciding to forfeit her memories of the Death Note and being Kira so she can start living a semi-normal life again. She knows Ryuk will still probably kill her once watching the Kira taskforce chase their tails becomes boring, but she figures she at least won't see it coming. Light pretends to go with this, but forfeits his memories solely to throw L off, and fully intends to go back to being Kira - Ryuk knows this, which is why he goes with it and also doesn't murder Sayu immediately.
• Light gets his memories back, and acts as the sole Kira for some time.
• After Rem gives Misa her memories back, Misa wants Sayu back in the fold, but also knows Sayu wasn't doing so great and is reluctant to involve her again. It ends up being Rem who makes sure Sayu gets her memories back, but it's because at some point Rem realizes Light will 100000% throw Misa under the bus to protect himself, and she knows Sayu won't let him.
• Sayu gets her memories back and goes back to being Kira, and she is NOT happy to be out of retirement, especially since Light is worse than ever, and is now much more open about the fact that he considers himself the real Kira and Sayu is basically a lackey to him.
• Sayu is like, "is it bad I feel protective over a serial killer persona?"
• Like in canon, Rem kills L, this time to protect Sayu for Misa's sake. Unlike Light in canon, Sayu feels REALLY FUCKING BAD about this, since she'd always liked Rem and she knows how much she loved Misa.
• With L dead, Sayu realizes no one except her can stop Light's reign of terror. He still sees her as his ditzy, useless little sister, so his ego will never let him see her coming.
• Sayu instructs Misa to give up her memories again, which she does, believing Sayu will help her regain them later. However, Sayu actually intends for Misa to be free to live a normal life.
• There's a lot of scheming I don't fully remember, but I do remember it ends with Sayu giving Light an ultimatum: quit being Kira by choice, or she'll make him stop. He predictably dares her to try, and Sayu, who is by now VERY done with Light's shit, says, "k" and Death Notes him. Light dies screaming and unable to believe this is how Kira dies.
• Ryuk is like, "Well, that was entertaining, but if you're done being Kira..." and Sayu's like "just get it over with," so Ryuk does, and Sayu dies.
• Before the final confrontation, Sayu left a written confession detailing her and Light's time as Kira, but edits the story to leave Misa out of it. However, when the media gets ahold of the story, most people assume Light was the first and only 'true' Kira, and Sayu was merely a coerced accomplice. Soichiro actively chooses to believe this, mostly to retain what's left of his sanity. The rest of the taskforce basically believes Sayu's confession, but let Soichiro believe what he has to, since the man's going through enough.
• The story ends with Misa losing her memories of being Kira, only remembering she had a dear friend named Sayu who was eventually exposed as being an accomplice to Light Yagami, aka Kira. Misa's fate is left ambiguous, but it doesn't look good.
• Many of Sayu!Kira's OG supporters suspect that the widely accepted story doesn't add up; Light doesn't seem at all like the compassionate killer they'd worshipped. But no one can prove anything, and Sayu's confession in its entirety is not made public.
• Light and Sayu are buried side-by-side, and the world moves on.