Work Text:
POST-BATTLEFIELD ASSESSMENT FORM
Filed under: H E L L A S / T R O I A / C A M P — U N F O R G I V E N
Subject(s): ΑΧΙΛΛΕΥΣ (Achilles, of the Swift Feet) + ΠΑΤΡΟΚΛΟΣ (Patroclus, the Gentle-Handed)
Administrator: The Gods / The Poet / The Dead / You
SECTION ONE: IDENTIFICATION
Please select the most appropriate answer for each question. There are no correct answers.
1. What was his name?
A) The one who laughed like the sea when it was calm.
B) The one whose shadow bent over your sleeping form.
C) The one whose death split you like the hull of a ship against hidden rocks.
D) All of the above. And none of them say it right. His name was—[Patroclus].
2. How did you love him?
A) Like armor that chafed, but never broke.
B) Like a second skin, bruised into yours.
C) Like a secret the gods weren't allowed to hear, so you whispered it into wounds.
D) Like the war was just something that happened between the silences.
3. What did it feel like, when he died?
A) A lyre string snapping in your throat.
B) The absence of fire in a hearth you forgot you needed.
C) The sun refusing to rise because it knew it would not find his face.
D) A god reaching into your chest and forgetting to let go.
4. Where did you bury him?
A) In the curve of your spine.
B) In the burn of your anger.
C) Inside a tomb made of your own ribcage.
D) Nowhere. He is still in your mouth, your marrow, your madness.
5. How did you mourn him?
A) You tore the world in half with your hands.
B) You let your voice go hoarse from screaming his name to the shore.
C) You built pyres out of kings and promises and still, he didn't return.
D) You wore his death like a wedding ring.
6. What was left of you, afterward?
A) A name the bards sing with their heads bowed.
B) An echo wearing sandals.
C) A fury that needed no reason, only target.
D) Just a boy, holding a ghost like a knife.
7. Who killed him?
A) Hektor.
B) The gods.
C) You.
D) Time.
Please elaborate:
(Optional open response)
"I told him to wait. He smiled like he always did—like I was the one being reckless. Like the leash around his heart wasn't mine."
8. What did his hands look like?
A) Thread-calloused.
B) Ash-soft.
C) Wide enough to hold your temper.
D) Gone.
9. How often do you dream of him?
A) Only when you sleep (which is never).
B) Every time the wind sighs through the tents.
C) Each time someone calls your name and it isn't him.
D) The dreams are the only place you have skin left.
10. If you could go back—
A) You'd teach him how to dodge fate.
B) You'd die first.
C) You'd tell him he was the only thing that ever made you gentle.
D) You wouldn't. Some tragedies are too beautiful to unmake.
SECTION TWO: EXTENDED RESPONSE
Answer as fully and truthfully as possible. Lies will be marked in blood.
11. Define "grief."
A house that remembers him louder than you do.
The opposite of silence.
A god that sits at the edge of your bed and hums his name until you wake screaming.
The echo of his sandal-steps on stone you cannot follow.
12. Define "hero."
One who dies.
One who kills.
One who is loved by the dead more than the living.
One who forgets how to be human just long enough to be remembered.
13. Where does it still hurt?
In your heel.
In your hands.
In your voice, when you try to say "Patroclus" and it comes out "vengeance."
In every part of you that remembers what he looked like unbloodied.
14. Why did you refuse to fight?
Because the war didn't sing his name.
Because kings do not deserve the blood of gods.
Because you wanted him to be safe while you were angry.
Because you believed your absence could bend fate.
15. Why did you fight?
Because his body came back in pieces.
Because your name meant nothing without his.
Because his armor fit you worse than his absence.
Because you had nothing left to lose but the world.
16. How do you want to be remembered?
As the rage of heaven.
As the boy who followed him to the end.
As the scream no god could ignore.
As the one who loved him. Just that. Just that would be enough.
SECTION THREE:
Match the following with their proper pair:
Achilles →
Patroclus →
War →
Love →
Death →
A) The fire that consumes.
B) The water that soothes.
C) The silence that follows.
D) The voice that calls back.
E) The body left behind.
SECTION FOUR: FILL IN THE BLANK
He said your name like it was __________.
(a promise / a prayer / a drowning / home)
When you held him that last time, he was __________.
(still warm / already gone / too quiet / finally at peace)
The world ended when __________.
(he stopped breathing / the gods turned away / your rage cracked the sky / nothing changed, and that's what broke you)
You built your myth on __________, but your love was __________.
(blood / gentler)
(glory / ruin)
(vengeance / worship)
(fire / water)
SECTION FIVE: BONUS QUESTION
21. Who will remember you as more than a monster?
A) The poets.
B) The boys who still fall in love by the sea.
C) The moon, when it weeps over Phthia.
D) Him. Always, him.
SECTION SIX: FINAL CONFESSION
22. Check all that still haunt you.
I buried him in my arms.
I took vengeance, and it changed nothing.
The gods watched and did not intervene.
His ghost still sleeps beside me.
The songs remember us wrong.
I would do it again.
I would not let him go again.
23. Do you believe he forgave you?
Yes.
No.
I do not deserve to ask.
He never needed to.
24. Would you follow him again?
To war.
To ruin.
To death.
To silence.
To peace.
FINAL SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS:
Do not sign your name.
Do not return this to the gods.
Bury it beside him.
Let the dirt remember what the heavens tried to erase.
Let the worms carry your sorrow into the earth.
Let the dust speak your love.
Let the dead write your ending in the language of flowers and ash.
Status: INCOMPLETE
Reason: Grief is not something that can be submitted.
Reason: He took the part of you that knew how to end things.
Reason: You followed him, even here.
Reason: You are still loving him.
—Survey Terminated—