Chapter Text
(Lights up on the stage. THE MOURNERS enter from different sides of the stage. They should enter in either pairs or groups. For example, WICCANDER walks in with TYRANNY and TEOR walks in with KATTIGAN and THIMBLE. There should be a small spotlight to denote THIMBLE. WICCANDER sees THIMBLE and has an idea.)
WICCANDER: Thimble, could you come here a second, please? I’d like to try something.
THIMBLE (Either pre-recorded, or the actress is offstage): (Wary) Okay? What are you planning?
WICCANDER: It’s a surprise. Come with me. (The two exit. Some words are heard offstage. WICCANDER returns with THIMBLE, who is now the size of a human.)
KATTIGAN: Thimble? Look at you! How did it happen? I mean, who did it?
THIMBLE: Wick did. He said that he thought it would be nice if I could be big for a while. Then I might see the world as you guys do. I mean, he did ask me if I wanted to be big.
TEOR: Well, what do you think? Do you like it?
THIMBLE: Honestly? It’s pretty cool. All I need now is a mirror.
(JULIEN enters with THAISHA, OCCTIS, and VAELUS. If the horse idea is being used, the rest of the cast looks at the horse with confusion, like, “What did he bring a horse here for?” LADY ARANESSA enters from the other side, a bit confused. JULIEN should notice and light up. THAISHA sees JULIEN and then sees ARANESSA. THAISHA taps VAELUS and OCCTIS on the shoulder and points at ARANESSA. They look over and smile. But, before they can go over, THIMBLE spies OCCTIS and runs over.)
THIMBLE: Occtis! You’re alive! (Looks him up and down in shock) What… what happened to you?
OCCTIS: It’s a long story. What happened to you?
THIMBLE: Wick. What do you think?
OCCTIS: I think it's cool.
(HALANDIL, BOLAIRE, AZUNE, and MURRAY enter)
BOLAIRE: Well, now I’ve seen everything.
MURRAY: Oh, really?
(AZUNE looks over to see KATTIGAN and TEOR and crosses the stage to join them)
AZUNE (Relived): You're here! I can't believe it!
KATTIGAN (Teasing): What? Didn’t think we’d get out of there alive?
AZUNE: Maybe. I-I'm not sure.
KATTIGAN: Well, I'm here now, so you don't need to worry.
(WASH enters. Everybody looks at him)
WASH: Uh, hi! Where am I?
Tower of Babble:
(RIVER enters. A spotlight shines down on her. The Mourners whisper things like, “Who’s that?” “I don’t know.”)
SOCRATES (RIVER): I honour and love you. But I shall obey God rather than you. And while I have life and strength, I shall never cease from the practice and teaching of philosophy. For I do nothing but go about persuading you all, (gestures to everyone on stage and in the audience) old and young alike, not to take thought for your persons or your properties, but first and chiefly to take care about the greatest improvement of the soul. This is my teaching. And if this is the doctrine which corrupts the youth, then I am a mischievous person.
WHEREFORE, O MEN OF ATHENS, I SAY TO YOU THEREFORE: ACQUIT ME OR NOT, BUT WHICHEVER YOU DO,
SOCRATES 2 (ARANESSA): I SHALL NEVER ALTER MY WAYS, NEVER ADJUST MY APPROACH TO THIS MAZE, NEVER REFORM TILL THE END OF MY DAYS,
SOCRATES 3 (VAELUS): EVEN IF I HAVE TO DIE MANY TIMES.
THOMAS AQUINAS (WASH): (Jumps in front of her) GOD IS APPREHENDED BY IMAGINATION, INTUITION, REASON, TOUCH, OPINION, SENSE, AND NAME
(AND SO ON). BUT ON QUITE THE OTHER HAND, WE FIND WE CAN’T BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND HIM, SO TO SOME IT SEEMS A SHAME TO GO ON.
THOMAS AQUINAS and THOMAS AQUINAS 2 (KATTIGAN): BUT HE IS ALL THINGS IN ALL, AND HE IS NOTHING IN ANY. HE IS OFTEN FOUND IN ONE THING SMALL, CONVERSELY, HE IS OFTEN MISSED IN MANY.
GALILEO (SIMON): GOD ENDOWS US WITH SENSE AND INTELLECT;
GALILEO 2 (OCCTIS): GOD ENDOWS US WITH REASON WE NEGLECT.
OCCTIS 3 (WICCANDER): AND DESPITE THE ABOLITION BY THE CURRENT INQUISITION OF ANY INTUITION THAT THEY DON’T CHOOSE WHEN IT COMES TO GOD, I FIND I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HE DESIGNED A HUMAN BEING WITH A MIND
GALILEO 1, 2, and 3: HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO USE.
(Two people enter, slightly annoyed. Those two are GEORG HEGEL and EDWARD GIBBONS MAL follows)
HEGEL (ZOE): THE RISE OF THE STATE
GIBBON (SAFFRON): AND THE FALL OF ROME
HEGEL and GIBBON: WAS INEVITABLE
GIBBON: ROME HAD TO FALL
HEGEL: THE STATE ABOVE ALL. THE STATE IS AS GOD WALKING ON THE EARTH
GIBBONS: THE SEEDS OF ROME’S DECLINE WERE PRESENT AT HER BIRTH.
HEGEL and GIBBONS: WE SHOULD THEREFORE BE SURPRISED
HEGEL: THAT MAN WAS INDIVIDUALISED
GIBBON: THAT ROME REMAINED SO STRONG
HEGEL: THE STATE WILL BE STRONG
HEGEL AND GIBBON: SO LONG
L. RON HUBBARD (JAYNE): NOTHING IS TRUE UNLESS OBSERVED BY YOU.
JEAN PAUL SARTRE (INARA): ATHEISTIC EXISTENTIALISM, WHICH I REPRESENT, IS MORE COHERENT — I DO BELIEVE IT.
MARIANNE WILLIAMSON (KAYLEE): THE GLORY OF GOD WE ARE BORN TO MAKE MANIFEST.
JEAN PAUL SARTRE and JEAN PAUL SARTRE 2 (MURRAY): THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS HUMAN NATURE, NOT IN ALL OR FEW MEN, SINCE THERE IS NO GOD TO CONCEIVE IT.
MARIANNE WILLIAMSON and MARIANNE WILLIAMSON 2 (TYRANNY): THE GLORY OF GOD WE ARE BORN TO MAKE MANIFEST.
(It devolves into chaos. Everyone is arguing. They say their philosophies overlap each other.)
ALL: SO HIGH (stomp stomp) IN MY (stomp stomp) LOVELY I— (stomp stomp) —V’RY TOWER OF BABEL. (BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE) HIGH ABOVE THE RABBLE. (RABBLE, RABBLE, RABBLE, BABBLE, RABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, RABBLE, BABBLE) GREATEST MIND OF HISTORY, SOLVING LIFE’S SWEET MYSTERY, SO LISTEN TO ME, (SO LISTEN TO ME,) KNOW HOW LIFE SHOULD BE. (KNOW HOW LIFE SHOULD BE.) OH, WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF THEY DON’T AGREE?
(The next bit is sung in counterpoint. They’re all trying to convince you their position is right while also arguing with the others. They pick up garbage bags, dump out the clothing and rags, and throw them at each other.)
SOCRATES 1, 2, and 3: WHEREFORE, O MEN OF ATHENS, I SAY TO YOU THEREFORE: ACQUIT ME OR NOT, BUT WHICHEVER YOU DO, I SHALL NEVER ALTER MY WAYS, NEVER ADJUST MY APPROACH TO THIS MAZE, NEVER REFORM TILL THE END OF MY DAYS, EVEN IF I HAVE TO DIE MANY TIMES.
THOMAS AQUINAS 1 and 2: (simultaneously) GOD IS APPREHENDED BY IMAGINATION, INTUITION, REASON, TOUCH, OPINION, SENSE, AND NAME (AND SO ON). WHILE ON QUITE THE OTHER HAND, WE FIND WE CAN’T BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND HIM, SO TO SOME IT SEEMS A SHAME TO GO ON. BUT HE IS ALL THINGS IN ALL, AND HE IS NOTHING IN ANY. HE IS OFTEN FOUND IN ONE THING SMALL, CONVERSELY, HE IS OFTEN MISSED IN MANY.
GALILEO 1, 2, and 3: (simultaneously) GOD ENDOWS US WITH SENSE AND INTELLECT; GOD ENDOWS US WITH REASON WE NEGLECT. AND DESPITE THE ABOLITION BY THE CURRENT INQUISITION OF ANY INTUITION THAT THEY DON’T CHOOSE WHEN IT COMES TO GOD, I FIND I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HE DESIGNED A HUMAN BEING WITH A MIND HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO USE.
HEGEL, HEGEL 2 (THAISHA), HEGEL 3 (AZUNE), and HEGEL 4 (TEOR): (simultaneously) THE RISE OF THE STATE WAS INEVITABLE THE STATE ABOVE ALL! THE STATE IS AS GOD WALKING ON THE EARTH WE SHOULD THEREFORE BE SURPRISED THAT MAN WAS EVER INDIVIDUALIZED... THE STATE WILL BE STRONG SO LONG!
GIBBON, GIBBON 2 (THIMBLE) and GIBBON 3 (MAL): (simultaneously) THE DECLINE OF ROME WAS INEVITABLE. ROME HAD TO FALL! THE SEEDS OF ROME’S DECLINE WERE PRESENT AT HER BIRTH WE SHOULD THEREFORE BE SURPRISED THAT ROME REMAINED SO STRONG... SO LONG!
L. RON HUBBARD and L. RON HUBBARD 2 (HAL): (simultaneously) NOTHING IS TRUE UNLESS OBSERVED BY YOU.
JEAN PAUL SARTRE, JEAN PAUL SARTRE 2, JEAN PAUL SARTRE 3 (JULIEN), and JEAN PAUL SARTRE 4 (BOLAIRE): (simultaneously) ATHEISTIC EXISTENTIALISM, WHICH I REPRESENT, IS MORE COHERENT — I DO BELIEVE IT. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS HUMAN NATURE, NOT IN ALL OR FEW MEN, SINCE THERE IS NO GOD TO CONCEIVE IT.
MARIANNE WILLIAMSON, MARIANNE WILLIAMSON 2, and MARIANNE WILSON 3 (BOOK): (simultaneously, repeated two times) HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA. THE GLORY OF GOD WE ARE BORN TO MAKE MANIFEST.
(They’ve given up on words and are now just screaming. Ladders are brought out. Everyone’s trying to climb them to get to the top and be the nearest to God.)
ALL: AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH.