Chapter Text
Ilya recovers from his neck injury and concussion in the shortest possible time frame his team doctor allows. Shane makes Ilya promise that he really does feel fine and healthy enough to play. Shane gets it – he understands the deep, driving desire to get back on the ice – but he can’t help but doubt that Ilya is as diligent as Shane is when healing from injuries.
Hayden does his best to not make a big deal of knowing about their relationship, but sometimes it slips out in vague snips. He’s apologetic afterwards, at least.
Marleau texts Shane occasionally to check in. When Boston plays Las Vegas, Marleau texts Shane a selfie of himself and Ilya with the lights of the strip behind them and the caption, time for a visit to the courthouse?
Shane replies with a photo of himself holding up a middle finger.
But a few weeks later, when it’s Montréal’s turn to head to Vegas, his mother decides that enough is enough.
She calls him after practice one week before the team will head out West.
“So what does Lily’s schedule look like next week?” she says, foregoing even a basic greeting.
“Hi Mom, I’m doing great, how are you?” Shane sasses.
“Shane, I love you, and I have tried to be patient and let you handle this. But it has been almost six months and I simply cannot believe that neither you nor Lily can get yourselves together enough to take care of something so important!”
“Mom, you know what the season is like.”
“Oh, and you never have days off?”
Shane can only sigh.
“Are you two still seeing each other?” she asks, her tone softening. “Are you avoiding this because, what, you think she might be the one and it would be silly to annul it?”
“I…” Shane doesn’t have an answer. He can’t exactly tell her yeah, actually, that’s exactly it. In part, it’s because he has no idea if Ilya feels the same way. They keep talking around the why, only daring to flutter over it instead of actually having a serious conversation.
It’s been so good with Ilya lately, and Shane is terrified of rocking the boat. Sure, he still doesn’t want anyone to know; he’s still petrified of what it could do to his – their – careers.
But this Schrödinger’s marriage to Ilya gives him a tiny sliver of the impossible fantasy of having Ilya, of being his.
Shane braces himself and replies to the first half of his mother’s question. “Yes, we’re… we’re still seeing each other.”
He can practically hear the gears turning in his mother’s head through the phone. “Is she… local? In Montréal?”
“No. She lives in America,” Shane says.
“So when you say you’re seeing each other, you mean long-distance.”
“Yes, mostly. It’s why our schedules are so complicated.”
“Obviously, I know why your schedule is all over the place, but what’s Lily’s situation? Where does she live?”
“She travels a lot for work,” Shane says. It’s not a lie, but somehow it feels dirty anyway.
“Does she live anywhere near Vegas?” his mother presses.
“No, she’s on the East Coast.”
“Is it a money thing, Shane? Surely, you can pay for her plane ticket.”
“No, Mom, it’s not about the money. It’s really just schedules.”
“And the fact that you’re still seeing each other,” Yuna says. She sounds unimpressed. Shane wishes they were having this conversation face to face, so he could get a better read on his mother. Is she suspicious, or just disappointed?
Probably both.
“Mom, I know this is… I dunno, out of character for me. But Lily is… we were seeing each other, before. It was, um, casual. But we’ve been talking so much more, really getting to know each other, and it’s been really good.”
“Dating someone does not mean you need to be married to them, Shane.”
Shane knows this. He’s told himself this exact thing a thousand times. He doesn’t know how to tell his mother that if he loses this flimsy legal tie, he fears it will shatter everything and he will be undone by the loss.
Shane also knows things will only get worse if he doesn’t come clean to his parents.
“Look, Lily and I have been talking, like I said. I swear, mom, we’re making progress. We’re getting there. Please, just give me – us – some more time.”
Yuna’s sigh is long and slow. There’s an equally long and slow silence that follows.
“Your father and I were going to come to your home game on the 19th. I suggest you and Lily have a damn good plan by then, Shane, or I am getting involved.”
Shane runs through his mental calendar of upcoming games. The nineteenth is an afternoon game.
Boston.
Fuck.
_/ \_
“I’ll come over,” Ilya says immediately, when Shane tells him his mother’s ultimatum over video call the next day. “We’ll talk to them together.”
“Ilya, I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You are not, I tell you I will.”
“What, so they can yell at me for my poor choice in men, too?”
“You told me Pike would get better,” Ilya growls. He brings the phone closer to his face, in an imitation of proximity.
“He is,” Shane says defensively. “Better. He’s just not great.”
“Well then he better skate very fast next time I see him.”
“Ilya, what have I told you about hurting my friend?”
“He is being asshole. I will be asshole back. Simple.”
“Can we please focus on what I’m supposed to do about my parents before you plan a hit on Hayden?” Shane groans.
“Fine. I still think is best for you to come out first, then say is me. Give them a chance to process.”
“Or, I’m throwing two bombs on them but spreading out the damage. I tell them I’m gay and they’re lured into a false sense of security, and then I tell them it’s with you and they die of heart attacks.”
“You are too dramatic,” Ilya says, but Shane hears the affection in his voice. “You said they will be good about gay thing though. It could get them more on your side. They will understand better why you are struggling to be more open about it.”
He’s not wrong, Shane thinks, but it means Shane will have to work up the courage for two difficult conversations. He knows it would be much more chaotic, but he’d almost rather just show up with Ilya and say “surprise!” At least that way, it’s all out in the open at once.
“Whatever you decide,” Ilya continues, “I am okay. Tell them whatever you want before the game. And after, I will come to your house and we will talk with your parents like adults and we will figure out what we do. Yes?”
“You sound hot when you’re being all logical and reasonable,” Shane says, smiling slowly.
“I am always hot, we know this.”
“My hot, sexy, husband,” Shane continues, voice low and tension starting to coil low in his stomach.
“Mm, no phone sex until you agree to plan,” Ilya says firmly.
“Fuck. Fine. I’ll decide what I want to tell them before the game, and then you’ll come over for dinner after.”
“Otlichno, lyubimyy,” Ilya purrs. “Now take off your clothes.”
_/ \_
The nineteenth comes faster than Shane is ready for, and he still hasn’t said anything to his parents.
He and Ilya have come up with a general plan: a charity that can explain a friendship to test the waters and ease the way for future moves. Retirement, then really giving things a go as a couple, out and damn the consequences.
It feels equal parts exhilarating and horrifying to both have a plan and for that plan to be a decade away.
His mother keeps trying to get ideas about what their plan is, but Shane remains tight lipped. The plan is vague and ridiculously long term, with plenty of opportunities for issues to arise. Not the least of which the fact that two people – Hayden and Ciff – have already figured things out, and with Shane’s parents, that number will double. How are they supposed to make it another ten or even fifteen years like this?
All Shane knows is that he can’t face his parents without Ilya, so he just tells them that there is, in fact, a plan, and that they will discuss it after Montréal beats Boston.
Shane’s dad suggests a couple of restaurants they could eat at after the game, but Shane begs them to just come to his house. “We can order delivery, or I can make something ahead of time and reheat it. I just want some privacy for this discussion, okay? I’m already stressed enough about this. I don’t want an audience.”
His parents agree, likely because they just want him to tell him what the hell is going on.
Shane has not told them that ‘Lily’ would be joining them.
He has rehearsed what he will say in his bathroom mirror a dozen times, but it always comes out wrong or terrible or stupid.
Shane is glad that he’ll at least be playing Boston first, because he always feels better after competing with Ilya on the ice.
Even Hayden notices Shane’s added focus.
“Dude, you’ve been real intense this week,” Hayden tells him. “It’s kinda scary, but in the fun way where it works to my advantage.”
“Just really want to kick Boston’s ass,” Shane says, offering a shoulder bump.
“Yeah, sure, that’s the only reason.”
“Hayd…” Shane warns.
“I know, I know: you always give it your all. I just think your motivation is a little less single-minded than you’re pretending it is,” Hayden grins.
Shane rolls his eyes, but gives Hayden a little smile back to show he’s not upset. “I’m more worried about dinner with my parents after the game.”
Hayden’s eyes go wide. “Just parents, or…?”
Shane grimaces. “Not just parents.”
“Oh, shit.”
“My mom will not let it go. I don’t know who I was kidding, thinking she would just let me get away with --” Shane gestures quickly to his currently bare ring finger, but Hayden recognizes the gesture.
“Yeah, your mom is way too intense for her to just let that slide, dude. You’ve been deluding yourself.”
“It was worth a shot.”
“I’ll bring flowers to your funeral,” Hayden promises.
After that, it’s pre-game warm-ups and Shane has to force his impending doom to the back of his mind: he has a game to win.
_/ \_
This time, Montréal pulls off the win – no one is injured, no one runs off the ice, and Shane captains his team to a beautiful 5-3 victory.
Boston plays well, but Montréal is simply better tonight.
Shane goes through his post-game routine diligently, hoping that the win is a good omen for his dinner afterwards and tries to let the familiar ritual steady his growing nerves.
He gives a few brief comments to the press before he texts his parents his ETA, then he texts Ilya.
Jane: heading home now. I feel like I’m gonna die
Lily: I know it’s scary, but you are brave.
Lily: what time do you want me there?
Seeing such supportive words from Ilya melts something inside Shane. The kindness – or perhaps more accurately, the honest emotion – is still new enough for them that it hits him hard every time. He feels cared for and seen.
He thinks maybe, he feels loved.
He invites Ilya over about half an hour after his parents will arrive, so he can get dinner heating up and let his parents settle in before his husband shows up.
Shane isn’t sure he can hold off his mother’s interrogation much longer than that, but he does feel like he needs to give them some kind of warning.
Forty minutes later, the oven is pre-heating and Yuna and David Hollander are hanging up their jackets in Shane’s entryway.
They both place their shoes neatly on the mat, and Shane smiles as he imagines Ilya’s shoes awkwardly kicked off and half on the mat next to them. Soon.
Shane offers them a drink and then promptly excuses himself to the bathroom to text Ilya again.
Jane: text me when you’re here? You can use the code so you’re not stuck outside but wait in the hallway til I come get you, please
Lily: <3
Shane splashes water on his face and stares himself down in the mirror for a moment. All of his practiced speeches about how he envisioned this conversation over the last two weeks have completely evaporated from his mind.
He doesn’t care.
His husband will be here soon, and despite what Hayden thinks of him – despite what his parents likely currently think of him – Shane knows that Ilya will win them over.
They’ll understand. They will.
Here goes nothing, Shane thinks. He puts his wedding ring on, takes a deep breath and walks out to the seating area.
Shane sits nervously on the chaise lounge side of his couch, half facing his parents. It feels easier than speaking to them head-on, less like he’s trying to pick a fight.
“Alright, Shane,” Yuna says. “You told us there’s a plan for dealing with this whole marriage debacle. I gave you time, you told me you and Lily came up with some great plan. Let’s hear it. We are all ears.”
Shane takes a deep breath, fingers fiddling with his ring. His mother notices immediately, so he stops, hands snapping to his sides like a toy soldier.
He squares his shoulders, picks a spot on the wall so he vaguely looks like he’s making eye contact with his parents and inhales.
“Mom, Dad. First, um, thank you for your patience with me. I know this whole… marriage thing has been weird. Confusing, and surprising.”
His mom looks like she’s about to say something, but his dad cuts her off with a hand on her knee. Shane is so grateful for his father as he steels himself to continue.
“Not only is this um, unusual for me, but I’ve been… I’ve been trying to keep some of it from you. Because I was scared of how you would react to um, Lily.”
His parents look startled at this admission, and Shane instantly regrets his wording. “I know you love me,” he says quickly, “but part of why this whole thing has been so complicated is because it made me confront something in myself. And I’ve been really scared of how you would react.”
“Honey, there is nothing you can say that would make us love you any less,” his mom says immediately.
“Absolutely,” his dad adds. “We will always love you, no matter what.”
“And I also want you to know that Lily has been so good with all of this, like. Always trying to get me to talk to you and offering support and ideas and it’s really been on me, okay? I’ve been so… overwhelmed by it all. So please, don’t blame Lily for this whole mess. Well, I guess Lily is the one who took us to the wedding chapel, but still. The uh, after mess has mostly been me.”
His parents are quiet for a moment, exchanging silent looks with each other.
“I’m glad that Lily has been supportive,” David says. “Would you like to tell us more about her?”
Shane swallows thickly, deciding how to proceed. He should probably lead with the fact that Lily is a man, so he doesn’t have to fret so much over pronouns, but that’s also the scary part.
“You said you knew her before Vegas,” his mother adds gently. “How did you meet?”
Finally, an easy question.
“Uh, through hockey,” Shane says. “It’s not like I do much else.”
“That’s not entirely true,” his dad says kindly. “But okay, she likes hockey too, that’s great. I’m sure that gave you some common ground to bond over then, yeah?”
“Yeah. I mean, of course. Lily is a big hockey fan.” Shane almost giggles at reducing Ilya Rozanov to a mere fan of hockey, but he’s determined to peel this band-aid off tonight, so it’ll all be in the open soon enough.
Shane’s stomach flips a little with apprehension, but he takes a steadying breath and forces it down.
“When did this all start?” Yuna asks next.
“Um, a while ago,” Shane hedges. “We were um. Casual. Not officially dating or anything, before Vegas. But we started like, seeing each other back in rookie season, technically.”
“Your rookie season?!” Yuna exclaims.
“Wow,” David says. “Though what exactly do you mean by ‘casual’?”
Shane grimaces. “Y’know. Just… seeing each other. Not um. Exclusive.”
“You were seeing other people?” his mom asks after a moment.
“Well, I wasn’t, not really. But uh, Lily was. Nothing serious. We don’t see each other in person much. It was… We weren’t together.”
“Hmm,” Yuna says, and she has a dangerous look on her face like she isn’t going to like Lily no matter what Shane says.
“And now?” David asks. “Are you together?”
“I think so. I mean, yeah, we are. Since Vegas we’ve actually, like, talked about it. I mean maybe not enough, not as much as we should. But we’ve been ‘official’ since the wedding.”
There’s a pregnant silence that follows, and Yuna fiddles with her watch and then the hem of her sweater. Shane recognizes the impulse – he has the same tendency himself, after all – and it makes him even more nervous.
“Lily has really been great,” Shane insists. “I need you to know that, and not blame Lily for this, please.”
“Well it takes two to marry, Shane,” Yuna says, unimpressed. “I think we have to hold her at least a little bit responsible.”
Shane sighs. “Fine, but like, try to keep an open mind? Because I do really like Lily. A lot. I might even…Look, things are going well. And I think they might keep going well between us, alright?”
“Shane, it’s sounding more and more like your plan is to stay married,” Yuna says, “and I’d like to just put it out there that I have some concerns with that plan.”
“I get it, but…” He trails off, unsure what else he can say.
“Why all the secrecy, son?” David asks. “I know you’re reserved, a private person, but you’ve always been open with us. Not saying you aren’t entitled to your privacy, but I think a big part of why this has been tough for your mom and I is that we’re used to you telling us everything.”
“I know,” Shane says, shame creeping in.
“And this much secrecy, the fact that you’re clearly very worried about how we’ll react… Well, it’s certainly setting off some warning signs,” David continues. “I’m glad to hear that things are going well with Lily right now, and that you’re talking about your relationship and all that. It’s great, Shane. But I think what your mother is trying to say is that we’re worried that you haven’t really told us anything besides a first name.”
“I get that, I do.” Shane clenches and unclenches his fists, trying to disperse some of the tension, but it’s not very effective. Band-aid, he tells himself. Just rip it off, just say it!
“Um… there’s more I need to tell you,” Shane says, and he’s hedging again, damn it. Why is it so hard to face his parents? He’s a professional hockey player, for fuck’s sake. He barrels through full grown men for a living! “This is the part that… I’ve been the most scared of. Because I need to tell you, and I want to tell you, but I’m so scared of how you’ll react.”
“Shane,” Yuna says softly, “you can tell us anything. We promise, whatever the problem is, we’ll figure it out. As a family.”
And that’s just it, isn’t it? The problem. It is a problem, isn’t it? Shane thinks desperately. His parents are good people, he knows this. They’ve never given him a reason to think they wouldn’t be accepting of gay people. But it’s a very different thing to be theoretically fine with gay people and another thing entirely for your only son, famed Golden Boy of Canada, to be gay.
Band-aid, band-aid, band-aid, he chants to himself. There is no amount of deep breathing or meditation or slow sips of water that will make coming out to his parents any easier. He needs to just say it, just blurt it out, just get it into the open.
His parents wait with baited breath and their expressions make it worse. Tears well in his eyes, and he squeezes them closed.
“I’m gay. Lily is a man.”
“Oh, Shane,” she says, but it’s with affection and perhaps surprise, and not anger. She doesn’t sound disappointed or disgusted. Shane opens his eyes to check, and sees that tears are welling in her eyes too as she rushes forward to hug him.
“I’m so sorry that we made you feel scared to share that with us,” she tells him as she squeezes him tight.
A tear spills down Shane’s cheek and he is torn between relief that this part has gone alright and frustration with himself for crying over it.
“I didn’t want to accept it myself,” Shane says quietly. “I tried really hard to… not be. I didn’t want you to think I had failed.”
“Shane, being gay is not a failure,” David says, and he stands too, wrapping his arms around Shane and his mother, still hugging each other. “I’m proud of you, son. Of all of you. This doesn’t change anything about how we feel about you.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Shane sniffles.
“Is this why you acted like you didn’t know her – er, his – name?” Yuna asks after a moment. She pulls away to look at Shane, who is still too embarrassed to make eye contact, but allows his mother to examine his face without hiding away too much.
“Yeah, I uh. Didn’t want to spring a Vegas wedding and coming out to you. It was way too much.”
“Oh, Shane,” Yuna says again.
His phone buzzes, and Shane wipes his eyes quickly so he can read the screen better.
Lily: here. walking up now
How’s that for timing, Shane thinks. “Okay, so there’s uh, one more thing I need to tell you.”
“Not sure how many more surprises I can take this evening, kiddo,” David says, but there’s a gentle smile on his face as he pats Shane’s shoulder affectionately.
“I um, invited Lily over this evening. To meet you, and to talk about… all this. We do have a plan, and Lily offered to come meet you and I was kind of terrified for you to meet but I don’t know that I could’ve done any of this without him, so I hope it’s okay that he’s here?”
“Oh!” Yuna exclaims. “Of course, we’d love to meet him.”
“But I need you to promise me that you won’t freak out, okay? Please. Please, don’t freak out.”
“Honey, we don’t mind that he’s a man. Why would we freak out?” Yuna asks.
“We’re not that shocked that you’re gay, Shane,” David adds. “We aren’t going to freak out about meeting your partner.”
“It’s not that he’s a man, it’s… shit, maybe he can just. He’s actually here, now, he just texted.”
“Why do I get the feeling that Shane being gay is the lesser of the two reveals?” David stage whispers to Yuna.
He hears the soft click of the front door opening, and his breath catches.
“What, is he some kind of hardcore biker or something?” Yuna asks, aiming for a joke though it falls a bit flat, in Shane’s opinion. “Not that I really see you with that type of person, but… Wait. You were at the Awards Show together. Is he… another player?”
“Please, just wait here,” Shane says, panic building, and he practically jogs to his front door.
Ilya has hung his jacket on the hall tree and he’s fidgeting with his shoes on the mat to make them line up with everyone else’s. It’s absolutely adorable.
“Hi, Baby,” Shane says quietly, and Ilya stands up and offers Shane the most love-struck smile he’s ever seen and a welcoming kiss.
“How is it going?” Ilya whispers when they pull apart, faces still close enough that their breath mingles. He hugs Shane tightly and doesn’t let go, stroking his hair gently.
“I told them I’m gay, we cried a little, but it’s… okay. Good, I think.”
“I knew it would be,” Ilya says soothingly. “You are too easy to love.”
Shane’s breathing hitches and he pulls back to study Ilya’s face. There’s definitely some panic there, but he purses his lips like there’s hope behind it, too.
Shane kisses him softly. He doesn’t want their first “I love you” to be here, like this. Under duress, maybe. But he’s already been brave today, so he allows himself to be brave some more.
“My parents will love you. Once they um… recover from shock. As long as you’re not too much of an asshole.”
Ilya laughs quietly, breaking the tension. “Best behavior. I promise, Shane. I want in-laws to like me, please.”
“My mom already guessed that you’re another player,” Shane whispers. “I’m scared she’ll be disappointed in me when she sees it’s you.”
“I am best player in the league, she cannot be disappointed in that,” Ilya smiles. “Nothing but the best for her son.”
Shane gives him a half a laugh, so Ilya kisses him quickly again. “Shane, your parents are smarter than Pike. They will be good.”
He holds out his right hand to Shane, who takes it. He decides to let the dig at Hayden go for now, and leads Ilya out to the living room, feeling the weight of Ilya’s ring press against his own.
As soon as they round the corner, Yuna gasps. David looks surprised, but he’s hiding it better than Yuna, whose face has turned steely and Shane can practically hear the gears turning in her mind.
The air is suddenly thick and suffocating, and the only thing that reminds Shane to breathe is Ilya squeezing Shane’s hand.
When it becomes clear that Shane isn’t going to speak first, Ilya clears his throat. “Hi.”
Shane recovers at the sound of Ilya’s voice. “So this is uh. Ilya. Rozanov… but you already knew that.”
Yuna opens her mouth, closes it again.
David offers a small nod of recognition, but is otherwise staring openly, unsure what to do or say.
“He’s my…”
“Hubby,” Ilya supplies, and tries to smile.
“Ilya, no. That’s gross,” Shane whines. “Who even taught you that word?”
Ilya looks confused. “Boston WAGs say this. Is normal.”
“Please never say it to me again.”
Before they can continue bickering, Yuna speaks up. “But you hate him.”
Shane feels his stomach drop through the floor. “No. I mean, I get that, but … no. I don’t. I never did. Not really.”
He squeezes Ilya’s hand for support and risks a glance at him. Ilya is staring at him with so much fondness (love?) in his eyes it makes Shane want to be brave. Or pass out.
Maybe both.
“Wow,” David says, and he sits back down on the couch, trying to find the most polite way to stare at them.
Shane looks back and forth between his parents, and he feels Ilya’s gaze on him, waiting for Shane to take the lead, to show him what he needs. Shane has no idea.
“I think I’ll just… go check on dinner,” Yuna says, and she walks briskly into the kitchen.
Shane’s heart clenches as he watches his mother leave the room. So this was the thing that broke her.
“Go,” Ilya says quietly. “We’ll be okay here.”
David nods in agreement. Shane is sure his father and husband are simply going to sit in the world’s most awkward silence, but he agrees that he needs to do some kind of damage control with his mother. She just insisted that he could never lose her love, but what if that was just because she simply could not have imagined this? What if he really has pushed her past her limits?
He kisses Ilya on the cheek and goes to the kitchen like he’s walking to his own execution.
Yuna is closing the oven door when Shane enters.
“Just a few more minutes, I think,” she says, wiping tears from her face as quickly as she can. She’s gripping the oven glove like her life depends on it.
“Mom, I’m so sorry,” Shane says. He doesn’t know what else he can say.
He’s terrified of what she’s thinking.
“Oh, Shane, no, you have nothing to apologize for. I should be the one apologizing. I’m … I’m not handling this well.”
“I should have told you sooner, I just… I was so scared, Mom.”
“I’m so sorry, Shane,” she says, putting her hands on his shoulders. It’s comforting, and he doesn’t feel so terrified of her reaction when she’s looking at him so earnestly. “I’m sorry for being so hard on you about all of this. I should have trusted you to handle it, or to come with me on your own terms. I’m sorry I forced your hand with this dinner.”
“No, I think I needed the push. The deadline,” Shane admits. “When we found out there’s no time-limit for an annulment, I think I just thought I could put off facing the consequences forever.”
“I understand why you kept insisting this was so complicated now,” Yuna says, a half-laugh coming through her tears. “Rozanov? How did this even happen, honey?”
The oven timer dings, and they both jump.
Shane smiles, and Yuna lets out a real laugh this time. “Let’s sit down and eat,” Shane says, “and we can tell you about it.”
They bring out the food and David and Ilya join them at the table.
“Should I get the vodka out?” Ilya offers.
“Please,” David and Yuna say at the same time.
Ilya returns with three glasses, the vodka, and a ginger ale for Shane. He’s grateful that he didn’t have to ask, and wonders if his parents notice the gesture too. He feels like he needs to keep track of all the good things that Ilya does so he can somehow justify this to his parents, just in case they need convincing.
Once drinks are poured, they all sit down around the table and dish out the meal – steamed vegetables, grilled chicken and a side of brown rice – and for a moment, no one is quite ready to speak.
Yuna, of course, decides to bulldoze through the discomfort. “When you said you knew each other before, I’ll admit, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
Shane tries to smile. “I don’t really do much outside of hockey.”
“So I know you’ve said you were seeing each other before you got married. So, when did this all start?” Yuna asks.
“Um… our rookie season.”
“Since your rookie season?!” Yuna exclaims.
“No, is not true,” Ilya says. “Summer before.”
“Not helpful,” Shane complains.
“Wow,” David says again. “That’s… a long time.”
“Well it hasn’t been like, a relationship the whole time, like I said,” Shane says.
“And now?” Yuna prompts. “Is it a relationship?”
“Maybe,” they both reply at the same time.
Yuna raises her eyebrows, but for once decides to turn her focus not on her son, but on Ilya.
“What does ‘maybe’ mean to you, Rozanov?”
“Ilya,” he says. “And it means… I think we would want that. If we could. But it is complicated, and we don’t … we don’t know how we can be together, with everything.”
“I’m getting real tired of the word complicated,” David says, sympathy evident in his tone.
“Same,” Shane agrees. “But between being gay in this league and the rivalry, plus Russia, it all seems completely impossible.”
There’s a heavy silence as Shane’s parents digest everything. Shane is sure that his mother is already trying to spin contingencies and plans. That was always the plan once they told her, but he wishes she would hold some space for the absolute gut-punch of it all for at least five minutes before she launches into manager-mode.
“I care very much about your son,” Ilya says suddenly. “I am better when I am with him, and I think maybe he is better with me, too. So even though this will be messy… I want to try.”
Ilya’s hand finds Shane’s, and the comforting weight of his touch soothes some of the nerves.
“You sap,” he says.
“Only for you,” Ilya says, and he leans over to give Shane a quick peck on the cheek. Shane does his best to ignore the fact that his parents are watching them, and pulls Ilya back to him to kiss him on the lips. Shane is rewarded with a surprised little hum from Ilya.
“Obviously this has been quite a surprise to us,” David says diplomatically. “But we love Shane. So of course, we support you. We just want you to be happy, and safe. Accepted.”
“What I will not accept,” Yuna says, “is that this is hopeless and you can’t be together. If that’s what you want, then we’ll find a way.”
They spend the rest of the meal and their evening together brainstorming ideas for a charity and their plan for at least a public friendship. Yuna wants to get Ilya more brand deals to manufacture more times for them to see each other in person, and they talk about how they could try to spin some PR stories to redirect the rivalry talk a bit.
Shane is extremely grateful that his mother only brings up the annulment plan once, and even then, it’s only to confirm that it’s not currently under discussion.
Once dinner is cleared away and Shane’s parents have headed back to their hotel for the evening, Shane feels the weight of the evening come crashing down on him.
He lets out a low moan, a combination of stress and relief all wrapped in one.
Ilya joins him in the living room where he’s standing and wraps him in strong arms, placing a soft kiss to his temple.
“I will change my flight tomorrow,” Ilya says quietly. “I don’t want to leave you alone tonight.”
“I don’t want you to skip practice for me,” Shane says sternly.
“I won’t. We’re only going to Ottawa, and game isn’t until day after, so just an afternoon practice.”
He fiddles with his phone a bit to look at flights, and finds one that leaves just before noon instead of 8am like his team flight will. “See? Is fine. I’ll tell coach now.”
“What are you going to tell him?” Shane asks.
“That my boyfriend needs to be snuggled so I cannot go to airport at ass o’clock tomorrow,” Ilya laughs.
“Your boyfriend?”
“I hope so. Yes?”
“Ilya, we’re married. You’re literally my husband already.”
“But realistically, I think boyfriend maybe is more accurate.”
“Hm, the facts are in, Rozanov. You’re married to me, you’re my husband. I don’t make the rules.”
“Let me text my coach, then I remind you what the rules are,” Ilya grins.