Work Text:
new groupchat created — 4:47pm
Scott Hunter (NY) named the groupchat “ASG 2016 🌟10th floor”
416-555-4523: what is this
Scott Hunter (NY): it’s a groupchat with everyone whose on our floor at the hotel
416-555-9000: lmao wtf
416-555-9000: why
Scott Hunter (NY): my floor did it last year and it was a good idea
Scott Hunter (NY): it was helpful when people got too drunk and locked themselves out of their rooms. or were being too loud
416-555-4523: i literally have one person’s number in this chat
416-555-4523: i don’t even know who im talking to rn
Scott Hunter (NY): This is Scott Hunter on New York
Scott Hunter (NY): Everyone say your name
416-555-9000: Dallas from Toronto
Dallas Kent (TOR): how did u get my number
Scott Hunter (NY): the lady at the front desk in the lobby gave me everyone’s
Dallas Kent (TOR): I’ll sue
416-555-4523: Troy Barrett Toronto
Carter Vaughn (NY): carter vaughn admirals babyyy
JJ 🏆💰: montreal’s own jj boiziau motherfuckers
857-555-8109: Cliff Marleau raiders
613-555-2727: Zane Boodram ottawa
Troy Barrett (TOR): ottawa???? 😂😂
Zane Boodram (OTT): yeah what about it
Shane: what is this
Shane: oh
Shane: Shane Hollander Montreal
JJ 🏆💰: who’s the other 857 number
Lily: wtf is this
Lily: too bad there is not skills competition for most grandpa idea ever @hunter
Lily: this is Rozanov
Lily 5:09pm
contact name for 857-555-2421 updated: Ilya Rozanov (BOS)
Shane: change my contact name right now
Shane: and delete all of our messages
Shane: those ones just now too
Shane: im serious Rozanov
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): 😂😂😂
Shane: it’s not funny
Shane: were you with anyone when I messaged in the groupchat?
Shane: did anyone see the name pop up? Marleau?
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): Hollander relax
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): it’s changed
Shane: are the messages deleted
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): no I read them before bed when I jerk off
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): like bedtime story
Shane: I’m going to fucking kill you if you don’t delete them
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): ughhhh fine
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): they are deleted
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): happy?
Shane: fuck off
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I hate Scott Hunter
Read 5:23pm
ASG 2016 🌟10th Floor 8:59pm
Carter Vaughn (NY): who is going out tonight
JJ 🏆💰: you already know my friend
Cliff Marleau (BOS): I’m down I’m sure Roz is too
Dallas Kent (TOR): Troy and I are going down to lower broadway
Dallas Kent (TOR): thats not an invitation btw
Zane Boodram (OTT): then literally why did u bring it up
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I am not going
Carter Vaughn (NY): yo Marly come get your manz
JJ 🏆💰: this is the party animal pussy slayer I always hear about?
JJ 🏆💰: yeah okay
Cliff Marleau (BOS): wtf??????????????
Cliff Marleau (BOS): are u sick Roz
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): no I’m not sick I am just not going
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): @boiziau who is telling you that I am a party animal pussy slayer
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): these are not titles I claim
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): they are not wrong though
JJ 🏆💰: nasty 🤢
Cliff Marleau (BOS): get this man a concussion test
Zane Boodram (OTT): I’m down for a night out
Scott Hunter (NY): I’ll go if everyone else is going
JJ 🏆💰: you know what this means @hollander
Shane: no
Shane: I’m good guys thanks though
Carter Vaughn (NY): wtf better do you have to do hollzy
Carter Vaughn (NY): stay in and hang out with Rozanov? 😂
Shane: what no
Shane: whatever okay I’ll come
JJ 🏆💰: LETS GOOOOO
Carter Vaughn (NY): that was shockingly easy
Carter Vaughn (NY): atta boy hollzy
Scott Hunter (NY): never thought I’d see the day
Cliff Marleau (BOS): see @roz even Hollander is coming quit being lame
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): you are so fucking annoying
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): you will be doing bag skates for 6 years when we get home
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): fine I will go
Carter Vaughn (NY): 😳
Cliff Marleau (BOS): no no no you don’t have to it’s fine
Cliff Marleau (BOS): seeing your ugly face at the bar is NOT worth 6 years of bag skates
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): bag skates are not debatable
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): now they will happen whether I go or not
Cliff Marleau (BOS): ??????
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I am coming
JJ 🏆💰: live footage of why Shane’s a better captain
Carter Vaughn (NY): right @scott thank you for your emotional regulation 🙏🏻
Ilya Rozanov (BOS) 9:17pm
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): why the fuck did you do that
Shane: do what
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): you know what Hollander
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I had special plans for you tonight
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): now I must go pretend to enjoy being surrounded by whiny Canadian idiots
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): and Scott Hunter
Shane: it looked super suspicious!!
Shane: everyone was so confused when you said you weren’t going out and then Carter made that weird comment about us staying back to hang out
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): oh my god Hollander
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): that was a joke
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): the idea is so absurd to them they make joke
Shane: you don’t know that
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I think I do
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): whatever
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): you will be crying later when you are drunk and horny
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): ‘need your cock I’m so empty’
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): ‘please Rozanov need you to fill me’
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): and I will say nooooo sorry we cannot because you don’t know how to take joke and freaked out and ruined plans
Shane: DELETE THOSE
Shane: WITH MY REAL FUCKING NAME AS THE CONTACT TOO
Shane: ARE YOU INSANE
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): relax they are deleted
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): but not untrue
Shane: ugh
Shane: we can sneak out early
Shane: it’ll be fine
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): so you admit you do need my cock
Shane: DELETE
Shane: yes
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): 💦😘
Read 9:35pm
ASG 2016 🌟10th Floor 10:03pm
Carter Vaughn (NY): @troy @dallas dis you?
Carter Vaughn (NY): *image attached*
Dallas Kent (TOR): I thought I said it wasn’t an invitation
Cliff Marleau (BOS): we literally just ended up at the same place it was a coincidence
JJ 🏆💰: yo why did no one tell me Toronto had such a whiny center
Scott Hunter (NY): Boiziau dont start shit in this chat please
JJ 🏆💰: I’m joking!!!
Troy Barrett (TOR): sounds like montreal has a whiny whatever the fuck position you play
JJ 🏆💰: ouch 😂😂
JJ 🏆💰: good one!!
Carter Vaughn (NY): LISTEN UP I will give $1000 to whoever gets Shane Hollander drunk tonight
JJ 🏆💰: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED MON AMI
JJ 🏆💰: GET HOLLANDER DRUNK
Cliff Marleau (BOS): GET HOLLANDER DRUNK
Carter Vaughn (NY): GET HOLLANDER DRUNK
Scott Hunter (NY): I’d like to see it too
Zane Boodram (OTT): i dont know him like that but sure why not
Zane Boodram (OTT): GET HOLLANDER DRUNK
Dallas Kent (TOR): can yall shut up my phone won’t stop going off
Zane Boodram (OTT): no ❤️
Shane: I didnt agree to this
Carter Vaughn (NY): you will
Shane: nope
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): easy $1000
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): Hollander has never seen a good time because he lives in montreal with boring montreal teammates
JJ 🏆💰: he had us in the first half ngl
Shane: he had nothing in no halves
Shane: I will have ONE beer
Dallas Kent (TOR): jesus fucking christ SHUT UP
Dallas Kent (TOR): I’m trying the pick this chick up and she’s not into the fact that my phone has buzzed 8 billion times
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): if your phone buzzing is turning her off she is not into you in the first place 😂
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): dont embarass yourself
Zane Boodram (OTT): LMAO
JJ 🏆💰: Shane and I just walked in are we getting him drunk or not
Carter Vaughn (NY): yes
Cliff Marleau (BOS): yes
Scott Hunter (NY): yes
Zane Boodram (OTT): yes
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): yes
Shane: NO
6 people disliked this message
Ilya Rozanov (BOS) 10:22pm
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): Hollander you should get drunk
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I think it’s good idea
Shane: wtf
Shane: no
Shane: stop messaging me on the side I can literally see you and Marleau is right next to you
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): hollllaaaanndddeeeerr
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I am broke I need $1000
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): nevermind that is not even believable as joke
Shane: yeah why do you care
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): could be fun
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): could have hot drunk sex
Shane: that sounds nauseating
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): sex????
Shane: the drunk part not the sex part asshole
Shane: you need to delete these
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): i will delete once you are drunk
Shane: no
Shane: delete them now
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): ☹️
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): they are gone don’t worry
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): u need to live a little
Shane: I live everyday
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): shut up
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): come do a shot with me and marly
Shane: fuck you
Shane: fine
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): later
ASG 2016 🌟10th Floor 10:47pm
Carter Vaughn (NY): omfg it’s happening ITS HAPPENING
Carter Vaughn (NY): hollzy took a second shot I REPEAT HOLLZY TOOK A SECOND SHOT
Shane: why are u obsessed with me
Troy Barrett (TOR): actually yeah why are u obsessed with him
Zane Boodram (OTT): yikes I forgot there were two of u in here
Troy Barrett (TOR): ????
Cliff Marleau (BOS): where are u guys
JJ 🏆💰: we’re on the second floor by the side bar
Cliff Marleau (BOS): coming
Cliff Marleau (BOS): Roz left me to go rub up on some girl
Scott Hunter (NY): sounds about right
Troy Barrett (TOR): is she hot
Cliff Marleau (BOS): yeah unfortunately
Cliff Marleau (BOS): I can’t be too mad at him
Dallas Kent (TOR): Rozanov I’m surprised your dick hasn’t fallen off yet
Dallas Kent (TOR): kinda impressed
JJ 🏆💰: *jealous
JJ 🏆💰: he means jealous
Dallas Kent (TOR): shut the fuck up
JJ 🏆💰: 😂😂
Scott Hunter (NY): I’d like to think we can all aspire to better things than following in the footsteps of Ilya Rozanov
Carter Vaughn (NY): HOLLZY TOOK A THIRD SHOT
Scott Hunter (NY): ok maybe not
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): there is no better thing to aspire to
Carter Vaughn (NY): so far I’m winning my own challenge
Carter Vaughn (NY): I’m gonna owe myself $1000
Shane: I’m drinking of my own volition you owe me $1000
Shane: time for number four
Scott Hunter (NY): who are u and what have u done with Shane Hollander
Scott Hunter (NY): can we have him back for the game at least
Shane: haha very funny
JJ 🏆💰: this is the best night ever
JJ 🏆💰: we are so going montreal clubbing when we get back
Shane: no thafk yoo
Zane Boodram (OTT): I think that might have been number four AND five
Ilya Rozanov (BOS) 11:29pm
Shane: Rozanpv
Shane: wtf,,
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): what???
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): are you okay
Shane: we hafd planbs
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): what are u talking about
Shane: ur withg a girll
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): Hollander I don’t know what you want from me
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I say I’m not going out, you say is too obvious
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): would be obvious if I did not dance with pretty woman
Shane: imm pretty
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): yes
Shane: ok
Shane: Im madf at u
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): you will live
Shane: asdhole
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): Hollander wtf how drunk are you
Read 11:42pm
ASG 2016 🌟10th Floor 11:43pm
Shane: ilyaa rozanovb is a stupidf name
JJ 🏆💰: ???huh???
Carter Vaughn (NY): nice good one that’ll show him…. (?)
Zane Boodram (OTT): wow you really take this sworn rival thing seriously
Zane Boodram (OTT): I thought it was just a gimmick
Carter Vaughn (NY): guys maybe we got him too drunk
Scott Hunter (NY): please don’t start an argument in this chat
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): itd fine
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): notr angry
Cliff Marleau (BOS): and down goes Roz
Cliff Marleau (BOS): shocking
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): what doew fhat mean
Cliff Marleau (BOS): where are you
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): shhhhhhhhhhh
Zane Boodram (OTT): is this normal or should we concerned
JJ 🏆💰: probably both
Cliff Marleau (BOS): somewhat normal
Scott Hunter (NY): the longer I know him the more I’m concerned
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): SHHHHHH
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): u donf know me
Carter Vaughn (NY): deep 💔
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): m tryinf to hav sex u wil scareew herm away
Dallas Kent (TOR): oh so when I say this groupchat is fucking with my game it’s ‘embarassing’
Dallas Kent (TOR): yeah ok Rozanov
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): 😂😂😂
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): wheb I say is joke
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I will getr laid refardless
Shane: ur notg etting laid
Carter Vaughn (NY): why does that sound like a threat 😭
Cliff Marleau (BOS): is drunk Hollander the ultimate cock block?
JJ 🏆💰: it’s his final form
Shane: ur not my,,: friendd anymore
JJ 🏆💰: 😧
Cliff Marleau (BOS): fiesty
Hayden 🏒 12:07am
Shane: wherb are you
Shane: haften
Shane: haydew
Hayden 🏒: at home with my family??
Hayden 🏒: are you not in Nashville?
Shane: lameeeeew
Shane: im innn Nashebille
Hayden 🏒: Jesus fucking christ
Hayden 🏒: hold on
most sane montreal metros 🚨💎 12:12am
Hayden 🏒: what did you do
JJ 🏆💰: NOTHING
Hayden 🏒: bruh
Shane: nothifd
JJ 🏆💰: hes an adult I encouraged him to get drunk
JJ 🏆💰: this is NOT drunk
JJ 🏆💰: idk wtf this is
JJ 🏆💰: I did not tell him to do all this
Hayden 🏒: can YOU please act like an adult and get him some fucking water
JJ 🏆💰: yes dad
Hayden 🏒: thank you
Hayden 🏒: I kinda can’t believe it I’ve never seen him this drunk
Hayden 🏒: and im not even actually seeing it
JJ 🏆💰: bro idk what happened
JJ 🏆💰: I blame Rozanov
JJ 🏆💰: I don’t know how it’s his fault but it’s his fault somehow
Hayden 🏒: Rozanov???????????????
Hayden 🏒: are you out with Rozanov???????
JJ 🏆💰: unfortunately
JJ 🏆💰: and Scott Hunter and Carter Vaughn from the admirals and the one dude Marleau from Boston and that guy Bood from Ottawa
JJ 🏆💰: there’s two kids here from Toronto too but they lowkey suck
JJ 🏆💰: idk Hunter made this weird groupchat
Shane: can we fuxk
Hayden 🏒: HELLO
JJ 🏆💰: no way
JJ 🏆💰: dont scare him off bro this is the most we’ll ever get to hear about anything related to his sex life
Hayden 🏒: did you get him water yet
Hayden 🏒: JJ maybe you should take him back to the hotel
JJ 🏆💰: I can’t find him
Shane: wrobg person
Shane: not youb
Shane: sorry
JJ 🏆💰: Shane buddy where are you
Hayden 🏒: you lost him?!??!??!??!??!!?
JJ 🏆💰: calm down I’m finding him
JJ 🏆💰(3) Missed Calls
JJ 🏆💰: ope maybe im not finding him
JJ 🏆💰: fuck
Hayden 🏒: dude wtf is happening can you two literally not be trusted together without me
JJ 🏆💰: IDK BRO GET BETTER AT HOCKEY AND THEN YOU CAN BE HERE TO BABYSIT NEXT TIME
Hayden 🏒: uncalled for
JJ 🏆💰: hes a grown ass man he’ll be fine lost in a club for a few minutes I’m gonna find him
Hayden🏒: uh huh 🙄
JJ 🏆💰(5) Missed Calls
Ilya Rozanov (BOS) 12:24am
Shane: hi
Shane: im no t mad now
Shane: xan we fuck
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): yesd
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): wherw r u
Shane: yesyedyess
Shane: imcallinf car back to hotel
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): no bathroom
Shane: nononono no noonnono
Shane: bad idea
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): batgroom
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): wantt u to cum in my moutr
Shane: ok bathreoom
ASG 2016 🌟10th Floor 12:27am
JJ 🏆💰: GUYS
JJ 🏆💰: has anyone seen Shane?????
Carter Vaughn (NY): nah
Scott Hunter (NY): not in the past 20 minutes
Zane Boodram (OTT): how do u lose an adult
Cliff Marleau (BOS): eh I lost Roz like an hour ago I gave up
Troy Barrett (TOR): maybe he’s getting laid
Carter Vaughn (NY): who rozanov or shane
Troy Barrett (TOR): idfk maybe both
JJ 🏆💰: FUCK
Dallas Kent (TOR): yo I just tried to do lines in the second floor bathroom and there’s definitely people fucking in there 😂
Zane Boodram (OTT): this is a crazy thing to admit to
Carter Vaughn (NY): you’re literally a professional athlete
Dallas Kent (TOR): it clears your system in like three days relax
Cliff Marleau (BOS): gross
Scott Hunter (NY): jesus fucking christ
JJ 🏆💰: guys can someone please help me look for Shane
Cliff Marleau (BOS): someone send out an amber alert
JJ 🏆💰: more like a silver alert we don’t call him old man Hollander for nothing
JJ 🏆💰: Shane if you’re reading this I’ll never make fun of you for going to bed early ever again
Troy Barrett (TOR): weren’t you guys the ones who wanted to get him drunk in the first place seems like this is kinda your own fault
JJ 🏆💰: bro I swear to god next time we play Toronto I’m coming for every neck you two are so fucking annoying
Scott Hunter (NY): stop
Zane Boodram (OTT): you ain’t wrong boiziau
JJ 🏆💰: @ children of toronto,, are you guys even old enough to drink in the states
Dallas Kent (TOR): I’m old enough to knock you out
JJ 🏆💰: 😂😂😂
JJ 🏆💰: ok FOCUS
Cliff Marleau (BOS): I think Roz went back to the hotel
JJ 🏆💰: yeah so that’s not who I’m looking for
JJ 🏆💰: but thank you good try
JJ 🏆💰: so close
Shane: thag didnt work very well
JJ 🏆💰: SHANE
JJ 🏆💰: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU
Shane: wronf chat
JJ 🏆💰: NO COME BACK
JJ 🏆💰: WHERE ARE YOU
JJ 🏆💰: HELLO???
Carter Vaughn (NY): I think we lost him again
Cliff Marleau (BOS): rip 😔
Ilya Rozanov (BOS) 1:03am
Shane: thag didnt work
Shane: need lube
Shane: anf more space
Shane: and less drwnk
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): im in cab back
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): hotell
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): come baxk
Shane: cominf
Shane: lololollolololooi
Shane: cuminng
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): y es u will
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): mayb 3 times
Shane: im in a cab nowq
Shane: im so hkrny
Shane: why am I so drubk
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I think u were mad at me 😂😂
Shane: no
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): yes u were
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): m going to fuxk u so hard
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): as apolgy
Shane: ok ican be mad
Shane: ur annoyging
Shane: youb smell likw cigarettes
Shane: your dick smells likr cigarettes
Shane: im better than u at hocjey
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): are u roleplayint being mad
Shane: yeahhsh u said if im mad I grt an apology
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): omfg Hollander
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): hurry upp
Shane: pullinf up now
most sane montreal metros 🚨💎 1:07am
Hayden 🏒: did u find him
Hayden 🏒: you got me riled up now I can’t sleep
JJ 🏆💰: no
JJ 🏆💰: we got proof of life he texted the groupchat
JJ 🏆💰: *screenshot attached*
Hayden 🏒: who tf is he trying to text
Hayden 🏒: and why does he keep texting literally EVERYONE ELSE instead
Hayden 🏒: also why are u threatening a 19 year old
JJ 🏆💰 : hes on my last nerve I stg
JJ 🏆💰: SHANE HOLLANDER
JJ 🏆💰: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU
JJ 🏆💰(2) Missed Calls
Hayden 🏒(2) Missed Calls
Hayden 🏒: damn hes really on his worst behavior
Hayden 🏒: shouldn’t have fed him after midnight
JJ 🏆💰: shut up
JJ 🏆💰: if I legitimately can’t find him do you think theirault’s gonna bench me
JJ 🏆💰: out of spite
Hayden 🏒: dude
Hayden 🏒: let’s walk through that one
Hayden 🏒: if you legitimately can’t find him by the time you fly home that means he’s probably dead in a ditch somewhere and you’re worried theriault is gonna bench you
Hayden 🏒: make it make sense
Hayden 🏒: do you wanna go back and choose some different words?
JJ 🏆💰: stop gentle parenting me
JJ 🏆💰: you seem to forget that I was drinking too
JJ 🏆💰: becahse I was supposed to be able to enjoy my night out
JJ 🏆💰: and not have to play the worlds most stressful game of where’s Waldo
Hayden 🏒: you realize he’s gonna kill you in the morning right
JJ 🏆💰: IM GONNA KILL HIM
JJ 🏆💰: we can kill each other
JJ 🏆💰: and then ourselves
Hayden 🏒: that doesnt make sense
JJ 🏆💰: fuck off pike
ASG 2016 🌟10th Floor 1:34am
Scott Hunter (NY): im getting an uber back anyone wanna hop in
Cliff Marleau (BOS): I’ll get in on that
Carter Vaughn (NY): can yall cover for me I think im going home w this girl
Scott Hunter (NY): coach isn’t here it’s the all star game literally who are we covering for u to
Carter Vaughn (NY): idk you?
Scott Hunter (NY): bye
Zane Boodram (OTT): yo @ Dallas Kent if I ever see some shit like that again im putting hands on you trust and believe that
Cliff Marleau (BOS): ??????
Carter Vaughn (NY): what happened?????
Zane Boodram (OTT): he was trying to drag some girl out of the club with him she kept saying she needed to get back to her friends and then security intervened
Zane Boodram (OTT): you’re a piece of shit dude and im dead serious
Zane Boodram (OTT): like acrually fucking pathetic
Dallas Kent (TOR): shut the fuck up pussy I make more in a month than what you make in a year over in gay ass Ottawa
Dallas Kent (TOR): mind your fucking business
Scott Hunter (NY): not cool kid wtf
Carter Vaughn (NY): aren’t u still on your fucking rookie contract why don’t you stop running your mouth about making money
Cliff Marleau (BOS): yeah that shit ain’t it bro
Cliff Marleau (BOS): kinda shocked your captain let’s you pull shit like that if you were in Boston Roz would be down your throat
Cliff Marleau (BOS): or do u just do it when he’s not here and u think u can get away with it
Zane Boodram (OTT): hes a little bitch he always has been
Dallas Kent (TOR): you guys sound like a bunch of whiny dick sucking bitches fuck yall
Dallas Kent (TOR) left the chat
Zane Boodram (OTT): hallelujah
Zane Boodram (OTT): I played juniors with him hes always been a prick
Zane Boodram (OTT): some people just need to get knocked out more often
Zane Boodram (OTT): got anything to say @barrett?
Troy Barrett (TOR): I don’t even know what’s going on I didnt see it go down
Zane Boodram (OTT): sounds about right
Carter Vaughn (NY): gross
Scott Hunter (NY): Ubers gonna be here in 2 minutes
Zane Boodram (OTT): can I hop in that too
JJ 🏆💰: WAIT
JJ 🏆💰: I GOTTA STAY HERE UNTIL I CAN FIND SHANE CAN I GIVE SOMEONE MY KEY
JJ 🏆💰: SHANE ASKED ME TO PUT HIS FUCKING MEAL PREP DINNER IN THE FRIDGE WHEN WE WERE GOING OUT AND I TOTALLY FOROT ITS GONNA GO BAD
Cliff Marleau (BOS): that shit probably already went bad
JJ 🏆💰: no no no we left later than yall because he couldn’t eat before 9:30 it’s only been like three hours
JJ 🏆💰: he’ll never know
Cliff Marleau (BOS): yeah ok
Cliff Marleau (BOS): idk what yall do up in montreal but personally I prefer my captain not to have Salmonella
Carter Vaughn (NY): are u having a panic attack
Carter Vaughn (NY): it feels like ur brain is just looking for reasons to freak out atp
JJ 🏆💰: fuck off
Zane Boodram (OTT): I’ll do it what’s your room number
Zane Boodram (OTT): im waiting outside rn run me me down your key
JJ 🏆💰: 1062
JJ 🏆💰: bless thank you
JJ 🏆💰: coming
JJ 🏆💰 1:51am
JJ 🏆💰: im so serious motherfucker where the fuck are you
JJ 🏆💰: in the morning im going to sit with you and WATCH YOU download Life360
JJ 🏆💰: I WANT TO GO TO BED
JJ 🏆💰: you are so lucky im a good friend
most sane montreal metros 🚨💎 2:03am
JJ 🏆💰: Hayd you still awake
Hayden 🏒: unfortunately
Hayden 🏒: did u find him
JJ 🏆💰: no
JJ 🏆💰: everyone else went home im still at the club looking for him
JJ 🏆💰: I should ask them to knock on his door and see if he’s back at the hotel
Hayden 🏒: smart
JJ 🏆💰: are you being sarcastic
Hayden 🏒: idek bro im too tired to think straight
JJ 🏆💰: at least youre in bed motherfucker
JJ 🏆💰: how do u think I feel
Hayden 🏒: I feel like a valuable lesson was learned tonight
Hayden 🏒: if Shane doesnt want to drink dont pressure him into drinking
JJ 🏆💰: you have enough children of your own to parent and I am not one of them
JJ 🏆💰: stop talking to me like im five
Hayden 🏒: 🤷🏻♂️
Hayden 🏒: if the shoe fits
JJ 🏆💰: ugh
JJ 🏆💰: lemme see if hes at the hotel
ASG 2016 🌟10th Floor 2:11am
Zane Boodram (OTT): @ JJ this keycard isn’t working
Zane Boodram (OTT): I’ve tried like 25 times
Zane Boodram (OTT): wait I think it’s unlocked hold up
JJ 🏆💰: omfg 1064 not 1062
JJ 🏆💰: my bad
JJ 🏆💰: Shane’s 1062
JJ 🏆💰: can u actually try knocking on his door and see if he’s there
Zane Boodram (OTT): I found him
Zane Boodram (OTT): hes fine hes in his room
JJ 🏆💰: THANK GOD
JJ 🏆💰: HOLY SHIT
JJ 🏆💰: WHY WASNT HE ANSWERING HIS PHONE
Zane Boodram (OTT): hes asleep
Cliff Marleau (BOS): yo @ Roz I just peeped you in the hall why do you look like you fucked a ghost
Scott Hunter (NY): what could that expression possibly mean
Cliff Marleau (BOS): like you just got laid but also stared into the soul of the devil
Scott Hunter (NY): I don’t have the energy to pretend that makes sense
Scott Hunter (NY): im going to bed and everyone else should too
Scott Hunter (NY): goodnight
Cliff Marleau (BOS): @roz hello???? can we get some context here????
Carter Vaughn (NY): WOOOOOOO BEST NIGHT EVER
Troy Barrett (TOR): ??? is the best night bar literally in hell???
JJ 🏆💰: yeah apparently with whatever demon ghost Rozanov just saw
Ilya Rozanov (BOS) 2:21am
Shane: im so fucking sober now
Shane: im freaking out
Shane: wtf are we gonna to do
Shane: Rozanov what the actual fuck are we gonna do
Shane: this is so bad
Shane: Jesus fucking Christ we are so fucking stupid
Shane: why didn’t you lock the fucking door
Shane: I feel like im gonna die
Shane: I don’t know what to do
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): Hollander
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): it’s two in the fucking morning there’s nothing we can do
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): get some sleep I will deal with it when I wake up
Shane: why couldn’t it have been JJ
Shane: or Scott
Shane: or Carter
Shane: or literally anyone that I actually fucking know
Shane: do u know him well???
Shane: do you think he already told everyone??
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): he said in groupchat you were asleep in your room
Shane: that doesn’t mean anything
Shane: why would he say it in a groupchat with us in it
Shane: he probably made a new one
Shane: oh my fucking god everyone knows
Shane: Rozanov everyone knows
Shane: wtf are we going to do
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): Hollander stop
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): there is nothing we can do
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): please get some sleep
Shane: we should never have kept fucking doing this
Shane: this should have ended years ago
Shane: wtf is wrong with me
Shane: how did I let this happen
Shane: there’s not even anyone I can call
Shane: because no one even fucking knows
Shane: I guess that doesn’t matter they’re all going to find out anyway
Shane: do you think I should call my mom and tell her????
Shane: so she hears it from me????
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): oh my god
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): if you want to call someone Hollander call me
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): cannot keep reading freak out over text it’s making me dizzy
Shane: what
Shane: oh ok
Ilya Rozanov (BOS) 33 minute call
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): good night Shane
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): try to sleep
Shane: good night Ilya
new groupchat created — 7:34am
Zane Boodram (OTT) left this groupchat unnamed
Zane Boodram (OTT): hi, I didn’t think it would be a good idea to stick around and talk to you guys last night so that’s why I left in kind of a hurry. But I want you to know I’m not going to say anything to anyone. It’s none of my business and I can’t even imagine the kind of weight you guys already have to carry keeping that kind of secret and I don’t want to be the one to make that any harder than it already is. And I know you have good reasons for keeping it a secret, there’s some really shitty people in this sport. So yeah please don’t worry, I’ll take it to the grave
Shane: im so so fucking sorry
Shane: we were being so fucking reckless and dumb
Shane: that door should have been locked
Shane: our careers will be over if people knew
Zane Boodram (OTT): I know, they won’t find out.
Zane Boodram (OTT): please take this the way I mean it
Zane Boodram (OTT): my life is interesting and fulfilling enough on its own without having to gossip about you guys
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I am sorry you had to see that
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): Shane is very worried
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): but I believe you will not tell
Zane Boodram (OTT): I won’t
Zane Boodram (OTT): ive got absolutely nothing to gain from that
Zane Boodram (OTT): does anyone else know?
Zane Boodram (OTT): not that thats any of my business
Shane: no
Shane: literally no one
Shane: outside of the three people in this groupchat
Zane Boodram (OTT): well I know I don’t know you guys that well but if either of you ever need someone to talk to you can always hit me up
Zane Boodram (OTT): im sure it gets lonely
Shane: thank you
Shane: seriously thank you
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): you are a good guy Bood
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): you should come play for Boston
Zane Boodram (OTT): hahah not likely
Zane Boodram (OTT): maybe you should come play for Ottawa
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): in your dreams
ASG 2016 🌟10th Floor 8:23am
JJ 🏆💰: is it possible to overdose on pedialyte
Cliff Marleau (BOS): how many have you had
JJ 🏆💰: six
Cliff Marleau (BOS): bro wtf
Carter Vaughn (NY): my head hurts
Scott Hunter (NY): im so glad everyone at the all star game is such a serious athlete and takes such good care of their body 🙄
Scott Hunter (NY): really makes me excited about the future of the sport
JJ 🏆💰: blame Hollander
JJ 🏆💰: Shane you alive?
Shane: sort of
JJ 🏆💰: wtf happened to you last night
Shane: I took an uber home and passed out
JJ 🏆💰: I thought u got kidnapped
Troy Barrett (TOR): I heard the name Shane Hollander more last night than I have your entire 7 year career
Troy Barrett (TOR): and thats saying something because they talk about you a lot
Carter Vaughn (NY): aw he knows facts about Hollzy thats kinda sweet
Zane Boodram (OTT): maybe he’s not also evil
Zane Boodram (OTT): unlikely though
Scott Hunter (NY): Barrett hit us up down the line when you’re ready to have normal NHL friends and not just frat boy coke sniffing pieces of shit
Troy Barrett (TOR): I guess
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I blame every single one of you for everything bad that has ever happened in my life
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I would like to make that clear
Cliff Marleau (BOS): 😦
Cliff Marleau (BOS): wtf did we do
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): everything
Scott Hunter (NY): thanks Rozanov youre really helping me sell my point on ‘normal nhl friends’ 🙄
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): stop using that emoji you use it too much
Scott Hunter (NY): huh
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): I am hungover and it is irritating me
Shane: well I hope everyone feels better
Shane: let’s kick ass today
Shane: not you @Scott @Marleau @Vaugnny @Rozanov
Shane: just my team
JJ 🏆💰: there he is
JJ 🏆💰: good to have you back capitaine
Shane: I was never gone
JJ 🏆💰: 🙄
Cliff Marleau (BOS): 🙄
Carter Vaughn (NY): 🙄
Zane Boodram (OTT): 🙄
Troy Barrett (TOR): 🙄
Scott Hunter (NY): 🙄
Ilya Rozanov (BOS): STOP
Shane: 🙄