Chapter Text
In the ensuing investigation, it would be discovered that Talia had taught Jason how to drive prior to his introduction to the Lazarus pit. Dubious ethics of teaching a dead boy to drive aside, this is very important for one reason specifically:
Jason, in all of his recovered memories and experiences associated with his previous life and the subsequent dunk in the forbidden green kiddie pool, does not remember his time catatonic immediately post resurrection. Which, in turn, means he has no recollection of said driving lessons.
In real time this means he's just as surprised as his passengers when Tokyo Drift comes on and he floors it like Vin Diesel in Fast Five.
It is a Tuesday afternoon.
They're in a 2004 Toyota Highlander.
And someone has made the fatal mistake of putting the aux cord playlist on shuffle.
...
Dick is riding shotgun and Damian and Steph are in the backseat the first time it happens. They're coming home from a normal ass sibling day trip. Steph has the aux cord, Jason is mostly zoned out meandering them through traffic like any other day, and then, suddenly-
The unmistakable opening notes of Tokyo Drift start playing. Jason's right calf muscles lock and the gas pedal hits the floor like lead.
"Uh, Jay, what are you- Jason, Jason the car in front of- Jason that's a red light!" Dick squawks.
Jason?
Jason is not present or beholden to the mortal laws of traffic. There is a very real need to get his siblings out of here and to safety as soon as physically possible. It's suddenly more important than breathing, certainly more important than going the speed limit.
He floors it around the car in front of him and through the red light. There's a back route two blocks over and-
Hello incoming traffic.
Jason cranks the brake, whips the steering wheel and, instead of going straight, the tail end of the highlander fishtails right and suddenly he's taking a back alley. No time for traffic. Brake off. Foot to the floor.
"Hell yeah!" Steph yells from the back seat. "Let's gooooo!!!"
A rear-view glance finds Steph double fist pumping the air. Damian remains arms crossed, expression bored. Jason looks forward again and neatly dodges a dumpster.
Dick snags the ceiling grab handle from the corner of his eye. "What the hell are you doing?!"
What the hell is he doing?
Wait.
What-
He should brake.
He should definitely brake-
Jason drifts out of the side street going mach-Jesus, corrects hard left, and proceeds to send the Toyota through traffic like it's the motherfucking batmobile at midnight.
"WHY?"
Jason, unable to reasonably answer and just as terrified at this turn of events as his older brother, shrieks. "I don't know!"
Oh god, it's like a fever dream.
It's not actually real, right? Except, he pulls the brakes again and drifts sidelong through the next intersection and he couldn't possibly dream this bit.
In cinematic slow motion they fly nose to nose past Vicki Vale. Eyes lock. Her mouth just starting to form Wayne-
And there is no way Jason could dream the indignation on her face. His subconscious couldn't do it justice. That's 100% real. That's also 100% a threat to the passengers in his car right now.
His psyche triples down on the escape like the Rogue's gallery themselves are behind him. The last clear thing his frontal lobe clocks is that the speedometer reads sixty in what is usually a thirty-five and that's only five mph below reckless driving if he gets caught. Which he won't.
Not today.
Also noted is the present screaming of his passengers.
Tokyo Drift blasts like the mantra of the damned.
Jason halfway returns to driver status in his own body about seventeen city blocks away mere moments before muscle memory kicks in and he jumps a bridge. Just enough time to realize, whatever the hell is happening, he has no control of this train wreck despite his hands on the wheel.
The Toyota sails dramatically across the gap towards a nearby parking garage.
In the batmobile, that would be nothing. For a regular car? The air time is impressive. Precision of calculated landing through the windows too.
He'd pause to appreciate that except, well, what the fuck happened?! Why did he jump a civilian car off a bridge at a parking garage??
Jason's screams join that of his passenger's.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
The highlander skids full 360 around the parking garage central column, course corrects briefly, then whips into another drift that has them careening towards a break in the wall barely big enough for a prius. Dick flails and Tokyo Drift blasts louder as his hand accidentally smacks the volume dial up.
They burst out the side of the parking garage directly onto the highway in perfect unity with the flow of traffic.
Thank god for the durability of the Toyota, everyone is intact- if going ninety in a fifty-five.
"TEN POINTS TO TAKE THE FREEWAY BACKWARDS!" Steph cheers, which has Jason terrified.
Because a very real part of him says "them's good evasive maneuvers, we should definitely do that".
"NO!!" He shrieks back instead.
The next thirty seconds of evasive driving would make Batman very proud- if they weren't doing it in broad daylight in a Toyota Highlander and breaking more traffic laws consecutively than any of them ever have combined in their civilian lives.
God help them all.
...
When the song ends and they come to a very final stop on a hidden side street, Jason delicately puts the car in park and feels like he's surfacing from a fever dream.
Dick peels out of the car first. One hand cracks the door handle and his entire body rolls out in an ungraceful heap.
"Thank god, land-"
There is an abortive attempt to kiss the ground before Dick clearly remembers this Gotham and that's a horrible idea.
Jason would normally mock his older brother for that but he himself feels like he just ran a marathon on six redbulls and an epi-pen.
"Is everyone okay?" He croaks.
Steph cheers. "Dude, that was awesome!"
"WE COULD HAVE DIED-" Dick wheezes.
"We are fine Grayson," Damian's tone is way too measured, "his driving is adequate."
Adequate? Adequate?!
Jason peels his hands off the steering wheel with an audible creak. "I just lived a fast and furious montage in broad daylight and you think my driving is adequate?" He croaks. "What the hell just happened?"
"Who knows my guy, but you just fuckin' floored it when Tokyo Drift came on. When'd ya learn to drive like that?"
"How the fuck should I know? I don't even have a real driver's license."
Steph shrugs like that doesn't mean anything.
Which, okay, in this family it doesn't.
A wheezed exhale leaves Jason's ribs. All of his limbs are noodles as he opens the driver side door and steps out like a newborn colt. He immediately braces his hands on his knees, winded by the reality of what happened and nursing an adrenaline crash.
"We are never doing that again." Dick says. His voices shakes at the same frequency Jason's legs are.
"Agreed." Jason barely makes out.
Steph pops her head out the backseat window. "Okay, but like, what exactly was it? Kill Bill sirens take you over? Ghost of Vin Diesel?"
"I believe it was the song, Brown." Damian says.
The song? What? No, that couldn't-
Steph snaps her fingers excitedly, slapping at the side of the car. "Ooo, you're right! Moment that opener hit he was outta there."
"Are we sure?" Dick asks.
"I mean, we could test it-"
Jason puts the brakes on that immediately. "Absolutely not!"
"Well how else do we test the hypothesis?"
"Not with our lives in a Toyota Highlander, that's how!"
"Kill joy," Steph mutters.
Jason puts his head back between his knees.
Dick, resurfaced from the ground, taps the hood of the car. "You, uh, you want me to drive Jay?"
Jason gives him a shaky thumbs up.