Chapter Text
The Thursday two days before graduation saw Merlin sitting at his desk writing up his final reports on all the students, and being distracted by thoughts of one of them in particular. It had been a busy week, but a very happy one for Merlin, as he had been able to see Arthur each evening, even if only for an hour or so.
He’d seen him in class as well, of course. His worries that everyone would be able to tell that they had started a tentative relationship were unnecessary, because Arthur had treated him just like normal and he had done the same. Even when Arthur did catch his eye while the rest of the students had their heads down working, he just gave him a subtle smile, full of affection nonetheless, reassuring Merlin that Arthur was taking his desire to keep their relationship private, seriously.
A knock on his door jogged him from his reverie, and Cmdr. Caerleon came in. “May I have a word, Dr. Emrys?” she asked.
“Of course,” Merlin said, pushing some papers around, hoping she couldn’t tell that she’d caught him daydreaming about one of his students.
The commander took the seat opposite Merlin and crossed her legs. She was immaculately turned out in her whites, an air of authority emanating from her. “I hear from my contact at the Pentagon that your job offer is in the mail. You should receive it tomorrow, or maybe even later today. It’s well deserved. You have a fine mind and a great way with people,” she said.
“Thank you, ma’am,” Merlin said. His heart raced because he’d deliberately put the job out of his mind after the interview, knowing that fretting over it was pointless, so the news threw him a little. It was a shock, but a good one, of course. He had only taken the position at Top Gun to create a path to this job: it was what he’d been working towards for years.
For a moment he was almost relieved that Arthur wouldn’t be able to stay at Top Gun, because if he had been, Merlin would have faced quite a dilemma. But as it was, Morgause and Morgana had topped the leaderboard, as expected, and Arthur and Gwaine’s next posting would be somewhere far away.
“I presume you will take the position?” Caerleon asked. “I will be sorry to lose you from Top Gun, but you have a great opportunity to serve your country at the Pentagon.”
“Yes, I’ll take it,” Merlin replied.
Caerleon sighed. “That is going to make things even more complicated,” she observed.
“Ma’am?” Merlin asked.
“To be honest, I’m going to be short-staffed for the beginning of next term, with Gorlois and LeFay declining the instructor posts here and now you leaving as well. But we’ll muddle through.”
Merlin’s mouth opened in surprise. “Gorlois and LeFay aren’t staying?”
“No, I think they want to encounter a MiG too,” she said wryly. “They asked to be posted to the Indian Ocean, where Pendragon’s incident occurred.”
Merlin’s mind raced as an idea formed that might help Caerleon and Arthur and Gwaine. “What about offering the teaching posts to Arth—I mean, to Pendragon and Green?” he blurted out.
She looked at him quizzically. “Top Gun is for the best of the best, so we need the very best instructors. That’s why the opportunity is only offered to those teams who finish first.”
“Yes,” Merlin said hastily. He took a breath, marshaling his argument. “Yes, but all along we have known Pendragon and Green are the best of the best, and this past couple of weeks they have been flying like it, consistently. Elyan was telling me that if they’d flown this way all through the program, they might have gotten more points than anyone else who has ever taken the course.”
Caerleon’s eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips. “You seem to be close to them,” she observed.
Merlin gulped, hoping he wasn’t about to get reprimanded for how very well he knew Arthur. It was allowed, technically, but he doubted Caerleon would approve. “I feel I’ve gotten to know them,” he said, carefully. “I mean I get to know all the students. It’s part of our role to understand them, after all.”
“So are you vouching for Pendragon?” she asked.
Merlin shook his head, “No, no. I mean, it wouldn’t be my place to vouch for him.” She raised her eyebrows, and he winced but carried on, “But I do think he would be an asset in the role.”
“Hmmm. Well, I’ll think about it. It would get us out of a hole. Don’t say anything to him, please, should you happen to see him later today.” She tilted her head and set her steely eyes on him. “Or this evening.”
Merlin could feel heat in his cheeks, which traveled right through to the tips of his ears. He shouldn’t be surprised she knew, because she wasn’t the type to be kept in the dark about what was happening on her own program, but he still felt mortified. He wondered how she’d found out. Had Elyan told her? Because he had guessed they were together right away, of course. Or had Merlin just been less subtle than he thought?
“Yes ma’am. Of course not,” he muttered.
“Good,” Caerleon said, as she stood up to leave. Merlin scrambled to his feet too. She looked at him searchingly, then reached out to shake his hand. “It’s been a pleasure working with you, Merlin. Congratulations again on the new job.”
The next afternoon, Merlin saw Arthur and Gwaine waiting in the corridor outside Cmdr. Caerleon’s office. “Not in trouble again , are you?” he joked.
Gwaine rolled his eyes. “If we are, it is definitely his fault,” he said, jerking his thumb at Arthur, who spluttered indignantly.
“You’d better come by and tell me what you did after you’ve seen her then, if you haven’t been strung up by your thumbs,” Merlin laughed.
He went back down the corridor to his office, wondering whether they might be about to be offered the instructor jobs. Sure enough, ten minutes later they burst into his office, whooping and laughing and hugging each other and then hugging Merlin. Merlin grinned from ear to ear, congratulating them.
“Now we just need to find out what you’re going to be doing,” Arthur said. Merlin had received the job offer that morning, but he hadn’t said anything to anyone about it yet. Somehow this didn’t seem like the right moment. “I mean, I still really hope you get the Pentagon job. But if you don’t, it won’t be so bad now, will it, with us all being here together?” He paused and then added, “I’m sure you will get it, of course.”
Gwaine punched him. “Don’t be a jerk, Arthur. What he’s trying to say is he’ll miss you when you’re in Washington, but he still wants you to get the job and he has his fingers crossed for you. Right?”
“Right,” Arthur agreed. “That.”
Merlin felt guilty for not telling them he already had the offer. But this news about Arthur and Gwaine staying had thrown him. He needed to think about it. It was one thing to accept the Pentagon job when Arthur was leaving as well. But now Arthur was staying, what would he think if Merlin left? It would look like Merlin was the one who wouldn’t make a commitment. And it was harder to contemplate leaving if Arthur would still be here. Much harder.
He tamped down his spiraling thoughts and said, “Congratulations, guys. I’m so delighted for you. Now, shouldn’t you go and tell Gwen?”
“Yes! We’re off to do that right now! Coming, Arthur?” Gwaine said, still bouncing on his feet and grinning happily.
“Yes, I’m coming.” Arthur replied. He turned back to Merlin. “You’ll pick me up tonight?”
“Sure, six o’clock. We’ll meet the Greens at the bar.”
“Okay,” Arthur said with a wink and a beaming smile. He slung his arm around Gwaine. “Come on then, let's go and make your wife a very happy woman!”
That evening Merlin picked Arthur up in his convertible and they headed to a bar near the base, to meet Gwaine, Gwen and Mikey, for dinner. The mood was understandably exuberant. They ate burgers and fries, the Greens talking over each other about the life they were going to have when they had moved to southern California.
Mikey pestered his mum for a milkshake, and when Arthur declared he wanted one too, Gwen gave in, too radiantly happy to say no to either of them. “Really, it’s like having two children, spending time with you, Arthur,” she laughed.
“That’s okay, Merlin’s in charge of making sure I don’t get into trouble tonight. You’re off-duty.” He squeezed Merlin’s hand and gave him a wink, and Merlin found he liked very much that they could do things like that, without having to hide them from their friends.
“I’m not sure anyone can keep Lt. Pendragon here out of trouble, but I’m giving it a go,” he said to Gwen. “It’ll be easier if we don’t let him and Gwaine encourage each other.”
Gwen threw her hands up in the air. “Oh, you’re right! They are such trouble together. Mikey’s well behaved, but Gwaine … he loves mischief, and Arthur eggs him on. I refuse to be blamed for anything he has done, or will do. You’re on your own as far as he’s concerned.”
Gwaine laughed, “I love you too, doll,” and he gave her a kiss on the lips that lingered a moment. When they separated they were still looking at each other and Merlin thought he would be very happy if he and Arthur could grow to have what they had—such knowing affection for each other.
Glancing at Merlin, Gwaine said, “I think you’re being too trusting of Merlin though. That man has a wicked streak of his own, you know. I’ve seen him playing volleyball. He’s sneaky.”
“No,” Gwen said. “I refuse to believe it. I can’t take on another irresponsible man. Merlin, you’re going to have to be a grown-up, at least around me; otherwise I’m completely outnumbered.”
Merlin leaned back in his chair and laughed. He felt so at ease with these people. It was hard to believe he’d only known two of them for four months and Gwen and Mikey for a few days; they felt like family—like people he’d known forever. It was a very good feeling.
But his heart sank as that happy thought was overtaken by the recollection of his job offer, which he still hadn’t told any of them about. He’d wanted it for so long, but it was going to take him away from this, the friendships he’d also waited so long for.
Arthur must have felt him tense, because he put his hand on Merlin’s knee and asked, quietly, “Are you okay?”
Merlin forced a smile and squeezed Arthur’s hand. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Arthur still looked concerned but when Merlin managed to give him a more convincing smile he turned his attention back to Gwen.
The mood was still exultant by the time Mikey had finished his milkshake and an enormous ice-cream sundae, and Arthur had noisily slurped up the dregs from the bottom of his own milkshake. Gwaine picked up his beer and held it aloft. “To bright futures for us all!” he said. Then he tilted his head towards Merlin and added, “Whatever they may be.”
They clinked glasses and bottles and Merlin swallowed a mouthful of his iced tea, palms sweating as he thought about the news he had to share with them. But he couldn’t give up his dream job because he’d just started dating someone, especially when Arthur had no track record for relationships anyway. Best to get it out there he decided, so he coughed and said, “Actually, I do know about my future. I got offered the job at the Pentagon.”
Excited exclamations of congratulations showered him from the other adults at the table. Arthur leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek then took his hand and squeezed it. “Thoroughly deserved!” he said. “You’ll be brilliant.” Then a little more quietly he said just to Merlin, “I’m so happy for you. And we always knew this would be a long-distance thing for us.”
“Thank you,” Merlin replied, a little overcome by the graciousness of Arthur’s response. “I’m sorry for us, but yes, I think I do have to take it.”
“Of course,” Arthur said. “And at least you can come and visit me here. It’ll be easier than if I was on a carrier in the Indian Ocean, anyway.”
Merlin felt so relieved and grateful that Arthur had taken it so well, although he wondered if Arthur was putting on a good act, at least to some extent, because when he looked back at him a few minutes later, his mouth had turned down and his eyes looked distant.
When he saw Merlin was looking at him he flashed him a smile and then grinned at his RIO. “I think it’s time for a song!” he said, prodding Gwaine across the table.
“Good idea!” Gwaine replied. There was an upright piano against the wall opposite their booth and Gwaine scooped Mikey up under his arm, to shouts of delight, then deposited him on top of the piano. Half sitting and half standing at the instrument, Gwaine struck the opening chords for Great Balls of Fire , and started singing with gusto,
You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain
He looked back over his shoulder at Gwen, as he continued,
Too much love drives a man insane
You broke my will
But what a thrill
And at the final line of the verse, Arthur and Gwen both joined in loudly from their seats in the booth,
Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!
Gwaine turned his attention to Mikey and in no time Mikey was singing along too. Gwen watched them both, a happy smile on her face, then she turned to Arthur. “So, is it true that you and my hothead husband lost out on the top spot at Top Gun to two women? How does that feel?”
Arthur laughed. “You know I have no problem being beaten by women—you run rings around me all the time!” He turned to Gwen, his expression becoming serious. “But yes, they didn’t take risks and they came out on top, and if they’d wanted the Top Gun jobs they would have had them. I know I nearly let you and Gwaine down, horribly. I couldn't forgive myself for it when I thought we were going to get posted out to sea again.”
“Oh honey, no! Don’t you dare say that. You are never ever a disappointment to either of us. Gwaine loves flying with you—he wouldn’t want to fly with anyone else. And if he had flown with someone else, he’d never have gotten to Top Gun in the first place. It was because of you that he had a shot at this at all.”
She leaned over the table and clasped Arthur’s hands and then reached up and wiped under his eye. Instinctively Merlin put his arm around Arthur’s shoulder, squeezed him and kissed him on the cheek. Arthur turned, surprise evident on his face, but then he leaned against Merlin and let Merlin kiss his hair.
“Aw you two love birds!” Gwen said, approvingly. “You snuggle up there and I’m going to go and embarrass myself with my husband.” She slipped out of the booth and Gwaine threw an arm out towards her, still playing the bass line with his other hand, and scooped her onto his lap. She joined in with him, singing at full volume while Mikey kicked his feet against the front of the piano in time with the music.
“Gwen really gives Gwaine a run for his money, doesn’t she?” Merlin said.
“Completely,” Arthur replied. “They’re like family to me. I’m so glad they’ll be there to see me graduate tomorrow.”
“What about your father? Is he coming?” Merlin asked, cautiously.
“I didn’t even invite him,” Arthur replied. “It was you who made me recognize that he’s not nearly as important to me as the people I’m with right now.”
“That makes total sense. I’m happy for you,” Merlin said approvingly.
They looked over at the trio around the piano. Mikey’s head was drooping a little. “I’m going to go and sing one song with Mikey, and then do you want to get out of here? I reckon they’ll be ready to go soon anyway,” Arthur said.
Merlin nodded, “Sure. Go do your awful singing thing then, sailor.”
Arthur slid out of the booth and scooped up Mikey. He hoisted him up onto his shoulders and they joined in the song, Mikey beating out the rhythm on Arthur’s head. When they’d finished, Arthur swung Mikey down from his shoulders and pretended he was going to toss him to Gwaine, to Mikey’s squeals of delight. Merlin watched with such a sense of affection for them all, but particularly for Arthur’s natural way with the child. It was clear Mikey adored him.
With the music over, they started to hug their goodbyes and Merlin stood up and joined them, exchanging hugs all around and promises to meet up at the graduation ceremony the next day.
Graduation day was clear and sunny, with a gentle breeze that kept the worst of the heat at bay. The students and instructors in the white and gold braid of their dress uniforms mixed with friends and families in summer dresses and linen jackets. The ceremony took place in the garden of the elegant period villa which had once been the commanding officer’s house on the base, but was now used for occasions such as this.
When the speeches were over and everyone had duly applauded, the audience of officials, graduates, and their families dispersed to take advantage of the drinks and nibbles. The Top Gun class congregated near the bar, and Merlin drifted over to them.
Leon and Percy caught his eye first, taller than everyone around them as always. They were chatting animatedly with Gwaine and Elyan. But it was Morgause and Morgana who drew his attention. They looked as daunting as always, eyes hidden behind their aviators, serenely accepting the compliments being offered to them by their fellow students and visiting dignitaries alike.
Merlin sought out Arthur in the crowd and handed him a drink that he’d picked up for him. “So has everyone found out you’re staying on at Miramar?” he asked.
“I think most people know, yes,” Arthur replied, accepting the drink gratefully.
His eyes drifted over to Morgause, and then he turned back to Merlin and said, “I’m going to go and thank Morgause and Morgana for giving us the opportunity to be here.”
As he approached her, Morgause nodded to him. “Pendragon,” she said.
“Gorlois,” he replied, sounding unusually formal. “I wanted to congratulate you. You and LeFay are a very impressive team and I learned a lot from flying with you. I also wanted to thank you for declining the Top Gun jobs and giving Gwaine and me the chance.”
Morgause took off her sunglasses and looked at him. “We’re lucky you had such a rocky start here, Pendragon, or we’d have had to fight a lot harder to win. I hope I get to fly with you again sometime.”
Arthur nodded at her. “I hope I get to fly with you, too,” he replied.
Morgana looked between them and sighed. “Bloody pilots. Always posturing even when they’re being nice.” She pulled Arthur into a big hug and said, “What Morgause is trying to say is you and Gwaine are alright and we flew better because you were on our tails, so thank you.”
They all laughed and Arthur hugged Morgana back, before they disengaged and put their sunglasses back on, adopting their usual poses again. Elyan had come up to stand next to Merlin and he grinned and said, “That was sweet.”
At that moment Cmdr. Caerleon approached the group and they all stood at attention.
“At ease everyone,” she said. “I just wanted to congratulate you all in person. This has been a particularly unusual and significant term for a number of reasons, and I am impressed with the progress you’ve all made.” She looked at Arthur, “Some of you in particular.
“I also want to say that it has particularly pleased me to see an all-female crew reach the pinnacle of success here for the first time. We have had to wait for it for a long time, ever since I was the first female pilot in the course. Progress is never as fast as we would like, but we must celebrate it when it happens. I hope many women will follow in your footsteps,” she said, smiling at Morgause and Morgana, who looked genuinely pleased at her words.
There was a chorus of, “Thank you, ma’am,” and Elyan said to Merlin, “I feel very lucky to serve under her command. A lot of it is her leadership in particular, but I do wonder if the Navy wouldn’t be a more effective place if we had more women in top jobs.”
As the rest of the group started to chat again, Caerleon beckoned to Merlin. “I’d like a word please, Dr. Emrys,” she said. She glanced at Arthur and added, “You may as well come too, as this concerns you both.”
Merlin’s mind raced wondering what it could be as he excused himself from Elyan, and he and Arthur followed her to a quieter area.
“I have some bad news,” she said. Her face was serious but her gray eyes were lively, mischievous even. Merlin’s brow creased in concern.
“I have been speaking to the Pentagon. Their job offer to you has left this program in a difficult position in terms of instructors, which, given Top Gun’s importance, is not in the national interest. So I am afraid I have renegotiated your job offer and I hope you will tolerate my meddling.” Merlin glanced at Arthur in confusion, but Caerleon carried on speaking. “In order to give me time to find a replacement for you, your Pentagon position will now start in three months' time, rather than immediately, and when it does begin you will be released to Top Gun as a guest lecturer for three days per month.”
Merlin turned to Arthur, whose mouth was hanging open, which made him realize his own was doing the same. He shut it with a snap, and Caerleon looked very amused.
“Err. Thank you ma’am,” he stuttered, flabbergasted.
“The national interest has to come first, Dr. Emrys,” she said and her mouth twitched as if she was trying to hold back a smile.
“Of course,” he mumbled, glancing at Arthur again, who was still wide-eyed.
She looked at both of them, expression serious apart from her eyes which were creased in amusement. “I expect both of you to exercise professionalism and discretion in your dealings with each other—especially if they continue to extend beyond working hours, as they have been recently.”
Merlin and Arthur hurried to offer her their assurances.
“Good. Now I had better go and hobnob with all those men who expect it of me. I’ll see you both for the start of term on Monday.” She turned and walked away, heels tapping authoritatively on the paving stones.
“I can’t believe she just did that!” Merlin said with a huge grin. “I’m mortified that she knows about us, but so happy we’ve got longer together before I go to D.C.”
“And the government's going to pay for you to fly out and visit me every month,” Arthur added, his face creased in delight. “God, I want to hug you now!”
“That needs to happen, but not here,” Merlin said. “Come on, let's go somewhere where we can celebrate!”
From the pillion seat on Arthur’s motorcycle, Merlin watched the sun sinking down, bulbous and heavy in the amber, peach, and plum sky, until it made a fiery splash of orange over the water as it touched the horizon. The stoplight turned green and he clasped his arms more tightly around Arthur’s waist as Arthur accelerated away, the motorcycle thrumming beneath them as they cruised along the boulevard.
When they got to the beach, Arthur pulled to a stop. He took off his helmet as Merlin did the same, and they grinned at each other.
“Fries or cotton candy?” Merlin asked as he looked over to the food kiosks in the parking lot by the skate park.
“I thought we were here for a romantic walk along the beach, maybe a bit of star-gazing, not greasy snacks,” Arthur said.
Merlin pouted.
“Oh God, don’t sulk. Okay, cotton candy and fries first,” Arthur said with a roll of his eyes.
“We can take them with us on our romantic walk, if you like,” Merlin suggested. “I don’t want you to think I’m not willing to compromise.” He smiled, cutely, and Arthur grinned back at him affectionately.
“I’ll buy you your snacks, but don’t think you’re going to hold my hand once yours is greasy and sticky.”
“Better hold my hand now, then,” he said, offering his to Arthur.
Half an hour later they were sitting on the sand, looking out to the ocean, while Arthur ate the very last crispy bits of the fries and Merlin tried to get rid of the stickiness of the cotton candy from around his mouth with his tongue. When he looked up, Arthur was watching him with darkened eyes. “I can help with that,” Arthur suggested.
They had made out a few times in the week since their first kiss and Merlin felt a thrum of anticipation at the thought of Arthur’s lips on his. “Go on then,” he invited.
Merlin angled himself towards Arthur and brushed his fingers along his jawline. The dull thud-thud-thud from a boom box drifted across the sand to them from the skate park, but Merlin barely noticed it. He was listening to the gentle in and out of Arthur’s breath, and the way it hitched when Merlin trailed his fingers down the strong tendons in Arthur’s neck and over his sensitive pulse point. Arthur’s eyes fluttered, until they were almost closed.
“Aren’t you meant to be helping me get the cotton candy off my lips?” he murmured.
Arthur’s eyes blinked open. “You’re distracting me,” he said.
Merlin hummed in amusement.
With renewed focus, Arthur took Merlin’s head in his hands, cradling it. “Open your mouth for me,” he said, coaxingly. Merlin parted his lips slightly, and Arthur’s eyes darkened.
Heat gathered at the bottom of Merlin’s spine as he held his breath, waiting for Arthur to touch him. Finally Arthur leaned forward and drew Merlin’s bottom lip into his mouth, teasing it with the tip of his tongue. Merlin made a little noise in the back of his throat as Arthur’s tongue stroked over his lip. He slipped his hands under Arthur’s flight jacket and kissed Arthur back. Their lips moved together, and this time a bitten-off moan came from Arthur.
After a while, Arthur drew back, his eyes a little unfocused, shifting in the sand to adjust himself. “You okay?” he asked, breathlessly.
“Yeah,” Mearlin replied. His pulse was rabbiting and he could see the bulge in Arthur’s jeans, but he didn’t feel any pressure from Arthur to do more than they were.
Arthur lay back in the sand and Merlin lay on his front, next to him. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at his boyfriend. Arthur had been the first one to use that word and it gave Merlin a warm glow to think about it.
He ran his fingers through Arthur’s hair and started to kiss him again. When he gently tugged Arthur’s hair, Arthur arched his back and gasped appreciatively. He kissed Merlin back fervently, his hands hot through Merlin’s t-shirt as they clasped his waist.
When they finally broke apart, both flopping onto their backs, panting and smiling, it wasn’t just Arthur who needed to make some adjustments to his jeans.
“I am beginning to wonder if I underestimated how hard it’s going to be having a long-distance relationship with you,” Merlin said, tilting his head to look at Arthur.
“What? You’ve only just realized that you’re going to miss all this when you’re in D.C.?” Arthur asked, sweeping his hands over his body and giving him a cocky smile.
“Jerk! But yes, actually.” He sighed. “Maybe I should rethink taking the job.”
Arthur sat up abruptly. He gave Merlin a hard stare and said, “I hope you’re joking!”
Merlin was. Mostly.
It would be difficult to leave Arthur behind, but at least he would get to see him every month, thanks to Caerleon’s special arrangements. He wouldn’t be able to keep his rented house, but Gwen had made him promise he would come and stay with them if he didn’t want to stay at Arthur’s, but that under no circumstances was he to check in to a motel, because he was family now, just like Arthur. Merlin had had to blink back some dampness in his eyes at the way she’d squeezed his hands and then pulled him into a huge hug. She was already planning Thanksgiving for them all.
Seemingly satisfied that Merlin wasn’t serious about giving up the job, Arthur lay back down, his hand reaching for Merlin’s and holding it in his. The waves were breaking in swishing pulses on the sand. The kids in the skate park were still playing their tinny music. And beside him, Arthur’s hand was hot and firm in his, his thumb stroking affectionately over Merlin’s palm, gently reminding Merlin that he was there.
Merlin looked up at the stars, which were easier to see now the sky had turned from peach and plum to inky black. When he’d imagined a romantic star-gazing date, he’d thought of looking up at the sky, pointing out the constellations, marveling at nature’s beauty. But the real marvel was the kindness, attentiveness, good humor, and the love of the man next to him, and how very fortunate they were to have found each other.