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r/shanehollander · Posted by u/bradisonreddit 15 hours ago.

New S_Hollander24 review is confirmation

NEW

My last post a few weeks ago about my belief that S_Hollander24 on google reviews is Shane Hollander got some hate (and some accusations of me being a stalker which I am not thank you very much!). But here is further proof!

S_Hollander24 posted a review of an Ottawa restaurant Spot 22 [link: google.com/spot_22_Ottawa,_Canada_review_171] where Shane Hollander was recently spotted [link: https://www.tmz.com/2020/01/02/hockey-rivals-seen-on-double-date/]

He was obviously there and he obviously caught the person who leaked these photos taking them. It all lines up.

It wasn’t often that Ilya and Shane ended up in the same city for hockey-related reasons when that city wasn’t called Montreal, Ottawa or Boston. Sure, it happened for all-star games or end-of-season award ceremonies but that was expected. This season, however, it occurred in New York, when Ottawa was playing the Admirals and Montreal the Brooklyn Scouts.

Ilya loved New York. The city that never sleeps was perfect for a man who needed to avoid sleep. Nighttime in an empty bed is when Ilya always feels most alone. That’s one of the reasons why he spent so many years searching for quick hookups. That’s why he had a woman in each city so that he didn’t have to spend a night alone. That’s why he never minded if a woman slept over because it would mean he didn’t have to wake up alone either.

Maybe it all stems back to his mother. Sometimes, she would spend day after day in bed, alone, wasting away in her hopelessness. She would wrap herself in a warm duvet as if keeping the cold away would keep the sadness at bay. Wishful thinking.

She was always happiest when Ilya would sneak into her room, slowly pushing that creaking door open and tiptoeing towards her bed. She didn’t have the energy to do the motherly thing. Whatever that meant, to smile warmly, to say his name lovingly, to get out of bed, he guessed. He would have liked those things, but he felt a bit selfish wishing for them.

Instead, she’d simply open the duvet slightly, allowing Ilya to crawl into their blanket cocoon and cuddle with his mother. Ilya hoped she felt less alone then. Wrapping herself around the person who loved her most.

She was alone when she died.

If Ilya had been there, he could have stopped her. Could have taken the pills and told her how much he loved her, how much he needed her. Ilya wanted to believe that would have stopped her. If she weren’t alone, just in that moment, he could have saved her. He ignores the rest of the moments they spent together, because the time she spent alone is his failure but the times she was loved isn’t a success.

So Ilya doesn’t like to be alone. He had always kept good company at night.

Since he opened himself up to loving Shane, though, it’s different. Sharing a bed with Shane, someone he loved, changed everything. Because looking back, he realised that he was still alone during those late night hookups. But with Shane, he’s not alone. With Shane, he sleeps quietly. Peacefully.

That makes the silence he feels sleeping without Shane so much worse.

For Shane, New York is overwhelming. Or it would be if Shane ever let himself see any of it. The city that never sleeps is still a city where Shane follows his routine. In bed by 10, asleep by 10:30. Nightclubs and late-night shopping are not calling his name. He’s there for hockey.

But a night where they are both in town changed things.

Ilya 09:31pm
We are heading over now

See you soon ❤️

Shane looked up from his phone and nervously looked around his locker room. They’d lost, and to Brooklyn of all teams. Considering they were currently top of their division, it was an embarrassing loss. Especially seeing as the Admirals had won earlier that day and put them within one win of overtaking Montreal for top spot in the Metropolitan division.

The mood was somber. No one was angry, usually at least a few were. So the locker room was quiet. Usually, a locker room buzzed. Sometimes with emotion, be it anger or joy. Sometimes with noises like the pop of a champagne bottle or the chants of a team anthem. Locker rooms were rarely quiet. Rarely so still. A locker room without noise was a bizarre thing, like a wolf in sheep's clothing. At least Shane thought that was the metaphor. He was never very good at flowery language.

Shane had told the team he was gay before the season started. It went well enough. Hayden and JJ were supportive, which was what Shane cared about the most. As for everyone else, there was acceptance, there was respect, but not love. Shane never needed their love though, he could captain them without it. They had been winning a lot that season. Shane was proving that his being gay didn’t mean they’d stop losing. But he knew, deep down, that they had to keep winning. Their acceptance had limitations, and losing would be one of them.

So a silent locker room made Shane nervous.

JJ walked towards him and placed his hand on Shane’s shoulder, “We need to cheer the team up captain.” Shane stuttered in response. Team morale had never been his strong point.

Hayden, sat next to him, shrugged when Shane looked over to him for help.

“I actually have plans,” He said so quietly that no one besides JJ or Hayden heard. Shane had always been good at making himself smaller. It was a skill you learned when you had something to hide. Something that meant you didn’t fit in.

JJ faked a dramatic gasp, “You,” He pointed, “Shane Hollander, have plans after the game?” For all of Shane’s effort, JJ was loud and his words drew the attention of some nearby teammates. When JJ wanted to be heard, he was heard. Shane admired that about him, he also found it a little annoying.

Shane hushed JJ, “I didn’t want everyone to know that.”

Hayden hummed, realising Shane’s plans included a certain someone. “What do you know?” JJ looked accusatorily at Hayden.

“I’m going to a gay bar,” Shane interjected, “Leave Hayden alone, okay?”

JJ’s eyes lit up at the mention of a gay bar and he shouted, “Fuck yes!” Now, everyone was definitely looking at them. Maybe Shane could just curl up and die right there. That would save him from the evolving situation.

“I’ve been asking you to go out to a place like that with Daisy and me for months.” Daisy was JJ’s girlfriend – or situationship, whatever that meant – who apparently had a lot of gay friends. Shane thought that Daisy’s friends were probably better at being gay than he was. He hadn’t even been to a gay bar before.

“Well, I know…” Shane stuttered, “But it’s Scott Hunter's place and I thought I’d go. To support him, you know?”

JJ stared at him, as if Shane – the gay man in their friendship – had offended him by only just now wanting to go to a gay bar.

Shane shrugged, “Both,” he said unsurely. He wasn’t really sure why he was going. Well, he knew why. Because Ilya had asked him. He’d looked at him with puppy dog eyes and a pouted lip and said please about a 100 times.

Shane couldn’t say no to Ilya. It had always been a weakness, ever since he was just a 19-year-old in a locker room. Except Shane had realised it wasn’t a weakness, it was love.

Shane loved Ilya – he probably loved Ilya from the moment he met him – and because of it, he couldn’t say no to him. Not when it really mattered anyway, and Shane knew that going to the Kingfisher really mattered. It was a step towards their relationship being seen as real by the outside world.

“Well, who cares why we are going, my captain, we are going to a gay bar!” JJ shouted. He looked excitedly between Shane and Hayden. Shane looked like a nervous wreck and Hayden looked a little confused, mostly because he doesn’t speak French.

///

When Shane, Hayden and JJ arrived, the bar was buzzing with activity. There was a polite rowdiness buried within the Kingfisher that was immediately obvious to the trio. A hockey game – their loss to the Scouts – thrummed in the background like a bad reminder. Quietly, but plastered on every television in the room.

Shane’s brain had started to scramble. If planning to meet Ilya and his teammates at the Kingfisher was already stressful, then meeting Ilya and his teammates at the Kingfisher with his own teammates was anxiety-inducing.

They made their way towards the bar where Scott Hunter’s husband, Kip, was pouring a drink. He noticed the group as they approached and shot them a smile before he pushed the fancy-looking blue cocktail towards the man standing beside them. Before Shane could stutter out an awkward introduction, Kip stole the words from his mouth. “Hello, Shane.”

“Hey, Kip right?” Shane asked, and Kip reached over the bar and shook his hand. “JJ,” he said and nodded at the man.

“Sorry, I don’t know your other friend, though.” He gestured towards Hayden, who pouted in response.

JJ laughed and Hayden questioned, “You know them but not me?”

Kip shrugged and for a moment stared down Hayden’s questioning. Then he laughed, “Nah, Ilya gave me 50 bucks to pretend I’d never heard of you Hayden.”

Hayden’s faced turned from confusion to anger, “Fuck sake Rozanov,”

“Didn’t know you guys would be here tonight,” Kip smiled before his face dropped, “Not to say you're not welcome, obviously, the rest of the guys are over there.” He pointed towards a booth in the corner. Shane saw Eric Bennett sat and beside him, Scott Hunter stood next to the booth.

“Nice to meet you,” Shane added, but Kip had already turned his attention to another waiting customer.

As they approached the booth, Shane could hear Ilya before he could see him.

“By the way, where is your bartender twink Eric?” His mischievous Russian voice boomed. Eric rolled his eyes, “He’s got better things to do than entertain your drunk ass, Rozanov.” He stood up, “Anyone want another?” When he received no’s in response, he patted Scott’s shoulder and padded towards the bar.

“The Montreal crew,” Scott beamed, turning his head from the discussion at the table.

“See, he even talks like an old man,” Ilya muttered as he poked Wyatt Hayes with his elbow. Shane noticed Zane Boodram and Tanner Dillon were further into the booth as well. Good, Shane thought, he’d texted Ilya from the locker room and told him to bring some Centaurs along, seeing as he was bringing Hayden and JJ. He hoped it would make it less awkward and less apparent that he was specifically meeting Ilya. He also hoped that it didn’t hurt Ilya’s feelings.

Scott shot Ilya a glare before he turned back to Shane, Hayden and JJ and shook each of their hands. “Nice to see you all.”

“It would be better if we won,” Hayden commiserated. JJ Interjected, “Yes, that's why we are going to have fun tonight.” He let out a Woohoo, which was completely out of tune for an old-English style sports bar. Nonetheless, JJ could be trusted to bring life to the party.

JJ and Hayden moved into the booth, taking seats across from Rozanov and his Ottawa teammates. Shane lingered next to Scott, “The place looks great, by the way,” he said. Not that he’d seen it before.

“Thanks, we’ve got Kip and Kyle to thank for that,” He gestured towards the bar that his husband was tending. Shane nodded awkwardly in reply. He really hated how uncomfortable he was in this setting. He was bad enough at bars or clubs, let alone a gay bar.

Fuck, he really was bad at being gay.

“Hollander, come sit down,” He patted the empty space at the edge of the booth next to him. “No one believes we are friends,” He whined loudly as Shane sat down. Ilya gestured to the rest of the table. Shane assumed he meant that his teammates don’t believe they are friends, unless, who else is he talking about Shane to?

Ilya playfully threw his arm around Shane’s shoulder, “Tell them we are good buddies.”

Shane grimaced which earned a deadpanned chirp directed at Ilya from Boodram. “Leave him alone Roz.”

“See what I mean,” Ilya hissed in Shane’s direction. He nudged Shane with his elbow and raised his eyebrows. “I can confirm we are friends,” Shane put his hand on his heart and joked, “I swear.” That earned Shane a few chuckles from the table of hockey players.

Inevitably, the conversation quickly turned to hockey. Shane didn’t know how to exist in a gay bar, but he did know how to talk about hockey.

///

At one point, Kip made his way over to the booth. There wasn’t any spare room so he sat down on Scott’s lap. The two shared a quick peck on the lips.

“You guys are such a cute couple,” Bood said and raised his glass.

“If you believe fossils deserve love, I guess you have a point,” Ilya muttered to himself before taking a swig of his vodka. Kip laughed as Scott said, “Fuck you, Rozanov.”

“That comes across as a bit homophobic Roz,” JJ said, which broke the smutters of laughter and an air of tension spread across the table. “Like I’m sure you don’t mean it that way but watch how you talk to Scott.”

Shane wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed by the situation or slightly heartwarmed. One of your best friends calling your secret boyfriend homophobic was a strange situation to be in. At least JJ had good intentions.

“It’s not homophobic, it’s… old-phobic,” Ilya corrected, waving his hand around as he searched for the word.

“Agiest.”

“Sure that,” Ilya held up his drink and toasted it towards Hayes.

“Look, as much as Rozanov pretends to hate me. He's a good guy,” Scott shrugged, “He came to a gay club back in 2017 after I came out to celebrate with me.”

“Yes, exactly. I am, how you say? Ally. Just because I am Russian does not mean I am homophobic,” he moaned sarcastically and JJ huffed. “I have been to lots of gay clubs, gay bars, gay resorts. The gays love me,” he nodded.

“Gay resorts,” Tanner mumbled to himself as the conversation continued.

“Who’s at a gay bar for first time tonight?” Ilya questioned

Bood, Dillon, Hayden and Shane all subtly raised their hands. Ilya raised his eyebrows. Exactly. Shane didn’t enjoy that he’d been included in that.

“I’m always trying to convince these two to come out with me.” JJ gestured to Hayden and Shane. “Gay bars are so fun.”

“Dude,” Hayden hissed quietly at JJ, nudging him under the table and giving him a look.

“What? I didn’t say anything.” JJ questioned – his voice louder than the whisper from Hayden and now the table’s attention turned to them. Hayden raised his eyebrows at JJ who rolled his eyes.

Awkwardness spread across the table as it became apparent what was being referenced. Although Shane had only come out to his team at the start of the season, it quickly became an open secret across the entire league. Even Ilya had heard Ottawa players talking about it, although he predicted it was in a much more respectful way than some other teams.

Shane had become aware too. Things had shifted since the start of the season, the looks he received from rivals across the ice and some chirps were a little too on the nose.

He hadn’t discussed it with anyone, not with Parents, not with Hayden, not even Ilya. That would make it real. Basically, everyone in the league knew he was gay and that was terrifying.

So in that moment, as the table perceived Hayden and JJ’s squabble but did their best to look away, it was confirmation. Everyone knows.

One of Ilya’s hands had found Shane’s leg. A thousand thoughts could have flown through Shane’s head at that moment. Ilya knows, he knows that everyone knows. Shane could have thought about how he might be so mad at his Montreal teammates that the next time their teams play he just drops his gloves and charges into battle. Or maybe about how he could be angry at Shane, because now that everyone knows he’s gay, Ilya couldn’t come out as bisexual because they might suspect them. But he didn’t. In that moment, the touch of Ilya’s hand grounded him. It eased the anxiety that had crawled up his spine.

Shane looked down at the hand and then back up to Ilya who flashed him a small smile. It’s going to be okay. Shane let out a breath and smiled back. Thankfully, someone – maybe Hayes – tried to steer the conversation to a new topic. As he chatted passionately about a trailer for a new superhero movie that Shane had never heard of, Ilya’s hand rested on his leg, the whole table unconcerned with the look they had shared.

“I need to… uh… use the restroom,” Shane said after enough time had passed. He excused himself from the conversation and the table.

Ilya stood up at the same time and all the eyes on the table turned to him questioningly.

“What, I can’t get drink while Hollander goes to piss?” Ilya questioned as he threw his hands up, feigning offence.

“No one's stopping you Roz,” Bood said.

“Oh, can you get me a beer?” Tanner shouted as they left. He shrugged, hoping they heard him.

///

Shane looked at himself in the mirror. Calm down. He needed to get control of himself. His breathing was ragged and he was sweating more than he would like.

He splashed some water on his face. As he blinked, he saw Ilya behind him. The splashes from the running water of the tap had covered the sound of the door as he entered.

“Like the view?” Ilya smirked and Shane turned to look at his boyfriend directly. He looked at him, for the first time that night, he really looked at him. He was stunning – as always – dressed in a tight white dress shirt that hugged his muscular chest and was tucked into navy blue jeans. He had the black leather jacket that Shane loved sitting next to when they were sat in the booth earlier. It was tame for Ilya’s standards. Usually, he dressed with more flair and flamboyance. He wasn’t afraid of patterns or textures that Shane could never see himself pulling off, regardless of how much Ilya told him he would look sexy in some of his outfits.

“Love it,” was all Shane said. Ilya closed the distance between them, taking slow and careful steps. He was treating Shane like a wild animal that might get spooked and run, which even Shane would admit was fair, especially when they were in public.

But Shane didn’t run. He allowed Ilya to push him up against the counter behind him. Shane wrapped his hands around Ilya’s ass while one of Ilya’s hands found Shane’s neck. They kissed and everything in Shane’s brain quieted down. Kissing Ilya was simple, even when everything seemed complicated.

Because kissing Ilya was feeling the warmth of their bodies together. It was feeling his frenzied hands dancing all over his skin. It was the woody smell of the Yves Saint Laurent perfume that Shane had bought him for his birthday. It was romance, tenderness and lust all at the same time.

Kissing Ilya wasn’t about hockey and it certainly wasn't about what other people would think. So kissing Ilya was simple, even if Shane had to remind himself of that very fact.

When they broke apart, their eyes lingered on each other. Ilya disrupted the silence first, “I am very proud of you, my love.”

“What did I do?”

“I just kissed you in a public bathroom and you didn’t freak out.” A cheeky grin was plastered on Ilya’s face as he teased. Shane playfully punched Ilya’s chest in response. “Shut up and kiss me again.” And he did. They kissed for another few minutes before Shane’s brain finally clocked back on.

“We. Should. Get. Back,” he said, each word between kisses. Ilya squinted at him in annoyance and grumbled, “Fine.”

“I’ll go now, but you wait a few minutes.”

Ilya nodded, “You are okay though, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Good, I knew kissing would help,” Ilya’s smile beamed and he planted one final kiss on Shane’s lips. Kissing him was simple.

///

Shane returned to the table without drawing much attention from the rest of the table, now busy chatting about children. The conversation seemed to be led by Bood and Pike, both fathers, and Hayes, who seemed to be considering trying for a baby with his wife.

A few minutes later, Ilya returned.

“Roz, I thought you were getting drinks?” Hayes said. The table turned to look at an empty-handed Ilya.

“Yes. I already drank it,” Ilya nodded along with his words, dismissing the questioning with ease.

“But I asked you to get me a beer,” Tanner said.

“Drank that too,” Ilya shrugged as he sat down next to Shane.

Tanner looked confused and slowly mumbled, “Right.” His face was scrunched up in a frown. No one paid him any attention.

///

Shane and his Montreal teammates left before Ilya. Shane had slipped a spare room pass into his jacket pocket. When they were leaving, as Ilya grabbed his belongings, he checked his phone and was met with a text.

Shane 11:24pm
The Western Hotel. Room 221.

He hearted the message and switched off his phone. His night was only just beginning.

As they exited the Kingfisher. Dillon, Hayes and Bood filled into the Uber they’d ordered. Ilya lingered behind them.

“You getting in Roz?”

He shrugged, “I have other plans.”

He waved goodbye and turned left in the direction of the hotel, leaving his teammates in their confusion about their mysterious captain. The car pulled away and Hayes looked back, watching as the darkness of the lowly lit street swallowed Ilya.

Only Roz has plans at midnight in New York, he thought to himself. He’d be surprised if it was anyone else.