OFMD Fics I Love
(Open, Moderated)
Recent works
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Summary
Ed 'Blackbeard' Teach is one of the most famous authors in the world. He's done it all, sold millions of books, had shows and movies and remakes of his books shown across the world. Everyone knows who he is. He's bored. His asshole of an agent Izzy Hands doesn't make it any better.
Stede Bonnet has just self-published his first book, a historical pirate romance. He's visiting his first convention alongside his writing group and he's more excited than he's ever felt in his life.
Stede Bonnet doesn't know who Ed is when he runs into a man who looks like he's bored to tears, and tries to cheer him up.
**COMPLETE**
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“Oh, no, who's the guy you’re stuck with tonight?” Ed, the head bartender at Blackbeard’s Bar & Grill, asked.
Stede lifted his head to see Ed already making his favorite drink: a simple, very overpriced glass of white wine. “I’m trying to remain positive tonight, Edward. Fortieth time’s the charm, as they say.”
Ed’s brows rose. “Fortieth?”
“I lost count a long time ago. That’s just a guess, I’m probably underestimating.”
Or, Stede has a terrible track record when it comes to first dates, and Ed decides to break the pattern after witnessing his latest one.
Series
- Part 1 of in every universe, i’d choose you
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1717. The silence of the night is broken by the harsh sound of a gunshot echoing through the woods. Loud, but not loud enough to be heard all the way to the beach where the legendary Blackbeard waits for the arrival of his lover.
The Gentleman Pirate does not arrive. He does not meet Blackbeard by the dock. Instead, he lies on the forest floor, eyes devoid of life as he stares off. Unseeing... dead.
In which the story of Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate was ended too soon so Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet cross paths once again in their next lives to fulfill the promises that they had made on that beach.
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“I may not understand it, and I definitely don’t like it, but for some focking reason that is beyond comprehension, my boss has a weakness when it comes to you. And I’m—” he chokes back bile. “I’m absolutely certain you’re the only person in this whole god forsaken ocean who can talk sense into him. So, get in the focking dinghy.”
Bonnet’s lips twitch ever so slightly into a smile. “Well, maybe if you were to ask me nicely.”
“Get in the dinghy.”
“What’s the magic word?”
Izzy screws up his face, trying to recall anything he’s ever heard about magic. The memory comes to him of some insipid story Bonnet told the crew one night about a girl and a dress and some fucking mice, so he says, “Bipity focking bopity focking doo.”
“I was looking for please, but I suppose that will do.”
After realizing Edward isn't actually better off as Blackbeard, Izzy Hands seeks out the last person on earth he'd like to spend any length of time trapped in a dinghy with: Stede focking Bonnet.
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Stede Bonnet starts teaching English in a new school.
Blackbeard is the custodian with a past.
Or
Oblivious gays make life harder for themselves than it needs to be
This is my first fic in years. I can't get enough modern AUs for this pairing so I decided to write one myself. Idk how many chapters it will be, but I am planning on posting one a day.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Bonnet's being nice to Izzy, suddenly. Too nice.
Does he think Izzy's not capable? Too old? Leg slows him down too much?
Fuck off.
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Wash, Rinse, Repeat by wednesdays__child for ssshhhkw
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
05 Oct 2024
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Izzy Hands has a new neighbor that he can hear having apparently incredible sex at all hours of the day and night.
Stede Bonnet just moved into a new apartment and his washing machine is broken.
Misunderstand/meet-cute = sexy times.
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- Words:
- 38,369
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 16
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“You can’t expect me to spend three days alone with fucking Bonnet,” Izzy hisses. His voice turns shrill at the end, but he can’t bring himself to care.
Ed laughs like he’s making a joke. He isn’t. “You’ll survive.”
“I will not.”
“Don’t be dramatic, Izzy.”
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Izzy reluctantly agrees to pretend to date Stede, only as so they can both get back at Ed