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As I Learn to Love Myself (I Open My Heart to You) by everseekingsolace
Fandoms: Malevolent (Podcast)
01 Jan 2026
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The entity that comes to be known as John Doe wakes up in his own grave with no memory of who he is or how he got there. Arthur Lester is an Arkham detective that takes on the amnesiac's case. He can't help but be drawn into the mysteries of cults and gods, as well as the being that he gets closer to along the way.
.....
AU: The King in Yellow's book ends up in different hands, and John gains a body of his own. Arthur and Parker are working detectives, along with Arthur being a single dad to a young Faroe. The boys work together to uncover John's past, while John grows into a person who had the chance to experience real humanity and kindness from the beginning.Bookmarked by Destroyminds
29 Sep 2025
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John, a hockey player with a promising career ahead of him, is partially blinded after an accident during the Olympic gold-medal hockey game. Unable to play professional hockey anymore, he moves back to his hometown and begins to make a life for himself without professional skating. However, he longs for something more than bar hockey leagues can offer him. So when figure skating coach Parker Yang comes to him with an offer—a chance to win an Olympic gold medal as a figure skater, paired with the infamously temperamental but wildly talented Arthur Lester—he accepts. Something is better than nothing, right?
Except that Arthur hates him on sight, and “temperamental” turns out to mean “rude, self-absorbed, and excruciating to work with.”
Neither Arthur nor John is happy with the arrangement, but with no other options and the Olympic season rapidly approaching, they reluctantly begin training. As John gets to know Arthur better—and meets Arthur’s seven-year-old daughter, Faroe—he begins to realize that there’s more to the man than he first thought. But will they be able to take home the Olympic gold medal? And will John be able to skate with a man that he is slowly but surely falling in love with?
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
21 Sep 2025
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Summary
All of my “canon” Faroeverse writing in chronological order :>
- Words:
- 15,966
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 17
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
18 Mar 2025
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Summary
Something goes wrong. The crown is split during Narinder's defeat, splitting the power between him and the Lamb.
Narinder keeps a portion of his godhood, and the Lamb finds that abilities they had access to before are no longer possible: Healing is cut short. Powers are halved. And there is a very real chance of perma-death, as the ability to resurrect is not possible without full power, and the God of Death is not cooperative.
Afterlife and Purgatory are not options either. Dying means erasure. Gone.Lambert knows Narinder grows stronger by the day, crown or not, and yet keeps him spared as they try to figure out how to complete their own goals. Narinder vows vengeance on the lamb for usurping him. After a few unsuccessful murder attempts, he's in for the long haul. It is only a matter of time before the Lamb's guard is down before he can strike, and The One Who Waits is very patient. When a mystic being demands they save the bishops from purgatory, an alliance is in order.
Except...the lamb's actions and their presence begin to unlock abilities within the God of Death he didn't know he had prior to his imprisonment, among other fickle things, like emotions. The prophecy didn't warn him of that part.
Series
- Part 1 of The Rehabilitation Of Death
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 362,032
- Chapters:
- 24/?
- Comments:
- 3,885
- Kudos:
- 15,846
- Bookmarks:
- 2,750
- Hits:
- 688,856
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
08 Sep 2024
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John Lester. Arthur thought about him carrying that name around everywhere he went and grit his teeth like he was chewing sand. It was his own damned fault for telling John to pick whatever he wanted; he’d had plenty of opportunity to lay down ground rules, it wasn’t John’s fault Arthur had run out of other Lesters quite some time ago with no plans to bolster numbers.
Not that he’d been much more enthused to gift his name to Bella. Why couldn’t he seem to stop comparing the scrap of the King in Yellow he’d stolen to his dead wife?
(In which John and Arthur take up private investigating together once they find their way out of the Dreamlands and into separate bodies.)
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
19 Aug 2024
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Arthur Lester's life is turned on its head when a mysterious book sends him to a vast desert world and a dazzling city. He doesn't know where he is, or how he's going to make it home. All he knows is there's something in his head urging him to the center of the city, and towards its mysterious King.
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
21 Jul 2024
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In a cruel twist of fate, John is sent to the Dark World once more.
This time, he's not alone.
And it's not with Arthur.
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
13 Jul 2024
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“I don’t see why we have to go to a stupid party in the first place.”
“You know why. We were invited.”
“A stupid reason.”
“I thought you’d be excited. It’s not every day one gets to brush elbows with the upper-crust; to be frank, I never thought my music would catch on as much as it has. I’m really quite flattered.”
“I still don’t see why I have to come. You’re the famous composer.”
“Come now. It’ll be fun.”
.
.
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Arthur is invited to play piano at a lavish party. Naturally, he brings John along.Bookmarked by Destroyminds
04 Jun 2024
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Summary
Arthur Lester is a P.I in Arkham and whilst he refuses to give up his occupation a new problem arises for him - he's gone blind. Unwilling to let go of his independence he downloads an app, one that allows a stranger to help him see. Here he meets 'John' and together they attempt to let Arthur keep his independence.
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
16 Apr 2024
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Life is loss and nothing more. In the late 1940s, local killer-for-hire Faroe Saltzman returns to her hometown of New York. While there, one Andrew Larson hires her to kill a familiar name - but it has to be a coincidence. After a brush with Arthur Lester leaves a manipulative, angry demon called John in her head, Faroe realizes there is so much more to this world than she thought.
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
18 Feb 2024
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Summary
“Sorry to interrupt, ma’am, gentlemen.” Arthur said politely. The two men turned from their conversation with the post office clerk as he continued. “The name’s Arthur Lester, and this is my partner, Peter Yang. We’re investigating the disappearance of a young woman and we believe she passed through here. Would you be willing to take a look at a photo?”
.....
John clocked the two investigators immediately. They were sitting at the long, warmly polished bar, wearing decently fashionable suits in a sea of folks in work shirts and flannel. The bartender was in the process of sliding two foaming pints over to them. Both of them had sharp eyes, flicking from face to face, memorizing, searching. They had minds to match. While John couldn’t read thoughts, he could get a feeling of general mood and demeanor. The investigators had minds like clockwork, whirring along in the syrupy flow of the townsfolk.
He didn’t like this.He had to tell Hastur.
Completed!
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
18 Feb 2024
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Arthur hadn’t gone back to Arkham.
He technically wasn’t Arthur Lester anymore, either. Maybe he'd expected that to sting, the last piece of himself being removed like a splinter, but it was the least of the things he’d lost recently.
The first time he’d seen the creeping black fog curling out of the shadows on the street, he’d been on his way home from repairing a piano.
Sometimes, he would approach the homes on the job and there would only be a slight shadow clinging around the edges of the windows. Sometimes, the houses were enveloped completely in the blackness, leaving only enough room for Arthur to pass through and knock on the front door. And sometimes, he’d approach an unknown house made darker by the writhing shadows and the hair on his neck would stand on end.
All of those things could have been a trick of the light or a trick of Arthur’s likely diseased mind, but then the pianos started playing without him.
OR
John is gone, and Arthur goes back about the business of living. Until he finds himself thrust back into the dark underbelly of the world and decides to find his best friend. Or die trying.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,038
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Comments:
- 647
- Kudos:
- 532
- Bookmarks:
- 106
- Hits:
- 11,085
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
11 Jan 2024
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You Know Now That My Name is Hastur by Croik for DeCarabas
Fandoms: Malevolent (Podcast)
27 Jun 2022
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Summary
On the way to the plateau, Arthur and John discover a spell in one of their books that will (hopefully) allow them to fight back against the King in Yellow. But when John ends up absorbed by the King, it's up to Arthur to free him.
Series
- Part 1 of Now That's What I Call Entangled!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,992
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 91
- Kudos:
- 579
- Bookmarks:
- 77
- Hits:
- 8,705
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
10 Jan 2024
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Summary
A canon-compliant rework and extension of MW2: Reboot.
Simon was an unstoppable force, but Fate was an immovable object.
Stationary.
When you ignore it, and put up walls to secure yourself, it only delays the inevitable. Unavailing. It doesn’t stop it. Moments in time slowly drill their way through, picking an open scab until it turns to scar tissue. It will break your skin until it drains you. You will deteriorate into ashes, scattered by the wind.
And if you force yourself against Fate, shielded with a lifetime of trauma that you use to protect yourself– you’re forced to recognize why you put the walls up in the first place. Every moment full of agony, abuse, anguish.
Your walls will crumble, because Fate never fails.
And as Fate tore the first wall apart, Simon was pushed.
**EARLY CHAPTERS ARE IN BETA, WILL BE LABELED WHEN UPDATED.**
CHAPTERS 1-4 UPDATED AS OF APRIL 8TH
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 130,252
- Chapters:
- 29/29
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 3,521
- Kudos:
- 13,826
- Bookmarks:
- 2,237
- Hits:
- 379,520
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
12 Jan 2023
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Miles to go Before we Sleep by Llwyden ferch Gyfrinach (Llwyden)
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Malevolent (Podcast)
12 Oct 2025
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Summary
They cut the tether, and the Fears rush out of their universe, bringing Jon and Martin with them. On the way to Somewhere Else, they pick up some unintended passengers. Now the four of them have to work their way around a new world and the challenges therein, while staying ahead of things Arthur and John have left behind.
Rating is due to violence and complicated themes, not sex.
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
25 Dec 2022
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Summary
To say that John is interested in the stranger who’s been sitting at the far end of his bar for nearly three hours now would be an understatement. For one thing, the man has only ordered a single drink and is still nursing it, even though the ice is completely melted and watered-down whiskey is less than pleasant.
For another, in the low light of the club, he looks just like Arthur Lester.
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Following the death of his daughter, famous film composer and pianist Arthur Lester drops out of the music scene and disappears from the public eye. Ten years later, Arthur now works as a private investigator and has no interest in performing or composing ever again.
John is intrigued by Arthur, who comes to his club to drink on the rare nights that there’s no music scheduled. As they meet again and again, they begin to grow closer. But Arthur isn’t the only one with a past he’s trying to run away from.
Series
- Part 1 of whiskey old fashioned sour
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 79,874
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 380
- Kudos:
- 1,090
- Bookmarks:
- 201
- Hits:
- 16,951
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
29 Nov 2022
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Summary
Essek Thelyss has many secrets, but there are exactly two that matter to him more than any others. Should either be revealed to the Dynasty that he serves, his life would be forfeit. Or so he thought.
The Luxon does not communicate its intentions clearly, and its motives are shrouded in mystery. But its word is the law, and when the Queen receives a vision, she is going to act on it, regardless of what that may mean for the religion that worships the light.
And the Mighty Nein? Well, they're obviously going to help their friend, even if they still don't quite know if they trust him or not. Perhaps this could be the test to prove his intention? There's only one way to find out.
Series
- Part 1 of Dappled Shadow and Penumbral Light
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 476,215
- Chapters:
- 97/?
- Comments:
- 5,441
- Kudos:
- 2,513
- Bookmarks:
- 391
- Hits:
- 109,470
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
09 Sep 2022
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Summary
More than hearts are on the line in Aeor, as Caleb Widogast and Essek Thelyss search for answers, and discover that there's more to the ruined city than they ever knew.. and more to themselves, as well. The arrival of Verin further complicates things, but the chaos has only just gotten started with Exandria once more in peril, and without the Mighty Nein together to stop it. Can two broken wizards and some unlikely allies do the trick?
Series
- Part 1 of Ruins and Romance
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 339,926
- Chapters:
- 190/190
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 2,120
- Kudos:
- 666
- Bookmarks:
- 109
- Hits:
- 41,632
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
27 Feb 2022
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Summary
Lost and alone at the end of the world, Jon decides to try one last idea. It goes wrong, as his ideas usually do, when both the Web and the Spiral decide to interfere with what he's doing. For once the disaster goes his favor. Mostly.
He wouldn't have chosen to go back in time to when he was eight years old. He certainly wouldn't have chosen to catch Elias freaking Bouchard's attention before he's had a chance to do anything. And he cannot believe that his luck is so monumentally bad that he gets adopted by the man who wants to use him to end the world.
Jon has to figure out how to keep Elias away, while saving his friends and the world. And hopefully growing old enough that he can go anywhere on his own and be taken seriously.
Series
- Part 1 of Jon's second childhood
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 193,394
- Chapters:
- 31/?
- Comments:
- 3,098
- Kudos:
- 3,465
- Bookmarks:
- 861
- Hits:
- 106,388
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
15 Feb 2022
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Summary
“Jonah Magnus.” The cloudy silhouette snarled as it’s hand clamped tightly around Jonah's ascot. That was indeed his name, but Jonah couldn’t begin to fathom what he did to have it spat out with such hatred.
But nonetheless, Jonah was a gentleman and he would kindly address the angry figure as politely as possible, “Yes, and you are?”
“What?” The form spluttered as it slowly came into focus. Ah, yes. That probably wasn’t the proper response to being held at gunpoint by a random stranger. Must have been the blow to his head.
(Or in which Jonathan Sims goes back in time and tries to pull a Terminator, but fails and Jonah Magnus finds a new mystery to solve.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 75,320
- Chapters:
- 11/?
- Comments:
- 942
- Kudos:
- 1,698
- Bookmarks:
- 410
- Hits:
- 35,916
Bookmarked by Destroyminds
01 Feb 2022