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Harry Potter was the Chosen One, and Neville Longbottom was the boy no one chose. Then Neville defied Voldemort, killed Nagini, and took down Greyback. Neville came out of the war different: You won’t get a rise out of him but you will get a reaction.
After a tumultuous trauma bond with Luna Lovegood and a failed engagement to Hannah Abbott, Neville has sworn off relationships—only to be paired with Pansy Parkinson under the Reconciliation Act. Neville’s running a nursery, guest lecturing in the Hogwarts Herbology Department, and hunting down Death Eaters with Seamus Finnigan, Alicia Spinnet, George Weasley, and the mercenaries Bill Weasley befriended while raiding tombs for Gringotts. He doesn’t need a Slytherin wife whose best mates are Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott. Or does he? When he and Pansy prove extremely sexually compatible, Neville must confront his own questions about love, trust, and vulnerability—just as the revival of blood supremacy and a renewed veneration of Bellatrix have strange new bedfellows seeking him out.
Featuring sex, violence, and poisonous plants, DIRTY, FLIRTY, AND VINDICTIVE takes place during BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC with flashbacks to Neville’s life between 1998 and 2003.
Series
- Part 2 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
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The end of the world has come. Millions dead, magic waning, Hermione Granger and Charlie Weasley are the last people left in Britain—left to pick up the pieces of their once great civilization. Why were they spared? Who is responsible for the death of a nation? These are the mysteries left as a legacy for two lost and lonely people.
2023 Re-edit and re-up!
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[Podfic] Heated in the Snake Den by FanFixation (SequesteredAudio), OllivandersVoices, PandaPatronus, PaperCranePodfics, Pensieve_Podfics, thedramionearchives (dittanyanddreams)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 May 2025
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Hermione goes to the Slytherin Common Room with Theo and his friends to prove a point...
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Hermione’s eyes darkened, she could take whatever they defined as heated. “Yes, Theo I’m sure.”Theo bit into her neck, sinking his teeth into her skin, causing her to whimper from the sting.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Princess.”
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“Anyone curious to see how many times we can make our little swot come in a row?” Everyone eagerly agreed with Draco’s question. “Tell me, Granger, how many?”
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there's always a straight way to the point by b_lovedhunter
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Oct 2023
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Hermione becomes an Animagus just in time for the start of her 8th year. Surprise. She's a cat. While roaming Hogwarts, she comes across a very distressed Draco Malfoy. Against her better judgement, she decides to comfort him.
It turns out Draco is a cat person.
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“Granger came to find me in the library today.”
She stopped purring.
He kept stroking her absently. “She said she forgives me. I don’t know how or why, but she does,” He sighed deeply. “I believe her. Maybe you’ll meet her one day. She has a lot of wild hair and she’s a swotty, annoying sort–”
WELL.
“But she’s good. She’s good, and brilliant. Pretty too. She’s always been all of that, even when she had rather large teeth.”
Well.
“Don’t worry, love. Not as pretty as you.” -
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When Draco tells her that he plans to spend the solstice alone, Hermione has other ideas.
Unfortunately, so does the Manor.
A Fuck-or-Die Christmas RomCom featuring blood magic, breeding kinks, and a sentient manor that is determined to get the job done.
Written for A Very Merry Daddy Knows Best 2025.
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"Do you think people can change?"
"I think people change all the time. If they want to."An eighth year story where Hermione and Draco must reckon with the pain they are left with after the war.
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Hermione wakes up in a strange cottage with no way beyond the hedge. She’s having trouble remembering how she got here.
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It's Christmas Eve.
Darkness has fallen across the land, splintered howls ribbon through the wintry air, and Hermione is being hunted.
In a quiet church she looks for sanctuary... just one small moment of peace before the end. What she finds is a dark-eyed priest, and maybe the answer to the bitter, hopeless prayers she's offered to the stars since the day that He left.
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I Won’t Kiss a Death Eater by orolin for EvergreenTuesdays
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
03 Sep 2024
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Five years after the Battle of Hogwarts the war rages on.
Hermione is so very tired of fighting.
When an opportunity arises to gain information from a notorious Death Eater, she doesn't hesitate. She will do whatever it takes.
And he only wants one thing in exchange for his secrets.
Her.
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A story per night to save her life. Dramione, dystopian post-war AU. HEA. COMPLETE.
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Hermione is a woman with very... specific needs. The Room of Requirement helps her meet them.
Only problem is, she can't see the man with the Cinderella cock through the solid stone wall she's stuck in.
Whatever's a poor girl to do?Series
- Part 3 of Malfoyesque Kinktober 2024
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PODFIC - Don't Look Back by WillowingScribe by PandaPatronus
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 May 2025
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Hermione finds herself on a vacation at Nott Hall during a scorching hot summer week. While Harry is busy making moony eyes at Theo, it seems that nobody cares about or even notices the fact that Draco Malfoy is practically undressing her with his eyes at every turn.
OR a hazy summer affair between two individuals who should've never sought comfort in each other but find it nevertheless.
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Draco Malfoy had the perfect plan: use Polyjuice to turn into the Weasel, infiltrate Gryffindor tower, and steal the memories implicating his father. But the Golden Girl had to ruin everything by kissing him. Now Draco's developed a strange addiction for bushy-haired know-it-all mudbloods, and nothing but the best will do.
Series
- Part 1 of Brand New World
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The Disappearances of Draco Malfoy by speechwriter
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Jun 2021
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The night that Harry and Dumbledore return from the cave, the Death Eaters are delayed from reaching the top of the Astronomy Tower for one more minute. Draco Malfoy lowers his wand.
A Deathly Hallows rewrite in which Draco accepts Dumbledore's offer to fake his death and go into hiding with the Order of the Phoenix.
Series
- Part 1 of The Disappearances of Draco Malfoy
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Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Apr 2022
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Hermione straddles the Muggle and Magical worlds as a medical researcher and Healer about to make a big discovery. Draco is an Auror assigned to protect her from forces unknown – to both of their displeasure.
Features hyper-competent, fiery Hermione and lazy, yet dangerous, Draco. Slow burn.
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This story is set twenty-three years after the fall of Voldemort. Our main characters are Ministry employees, middle-aged, and the majority of them not very happy.
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It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!
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Hermione Granger was jaded. So naturally, she made a plan.
Step one: Abandon the wizarding world for a few days.
Step two: Find a proper Muggle bloke.
Step three: Shag. Shag until the pit in her chest closes.
Of course she hadn't planned for this, and really, how could she?
Draco Malfoy caught her eyes as he sat in the backseat of the Uber that she just called.Or: Hermione needs a one-night stand to recover, and Draco is... enthusiastically there.
*Dramione Subreddit 2024 Top Novella*
*Honorable Mention 2024 Top Smut* -
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After buying Hermione Granger at an auction, Draco planned to make her call him Master Malfoy, force her to orgasm, and then he’d throw her out the next morning.
But the irritating swot always managed to surprise him.