1 - 20 of 160 Bookmarks by Lemonator
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Something other than a giant, alien brain festers in the city of Baldur's Gate. From dead men wandering the sewers, to soulless patriars scheming from their gilded palaces, something vile has taken root to consume all it touches.
To save a city that's deemed them criminals (and to save their own asses), these two losers must cheat, stab, and flirt their way to the heart of the rot and carve it out, piece by festering piece. And figure out what, exactly, they mean to each other.
Series
- Part 4 of these two shitheads
Bookmarked by Lemonator
01 Apr 2026
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“My lovely darling. Why do you look down upon being mine? Think of it.” His lips hovered over hers. “I will never leave you. I’ll cherish you forever, every single day.” He kissed the corner of her mouth, and his rosemary and bergamot scent amplified. It muddled her senses. “I will pamper you, my sweet thing. You wouldn’t need to lift a finger. Only to open your mouth.” He kissed her again, “for blood.” Another kiss. “Wine.” Another kiss, deeper this time. “And for my cock.”
My take on if Astarion ascended, and if Tav can fight the temptation of the one thing she always wanted: eternal devotion.
Bookmarked by Lemonator
22 Jan 2026
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After leaving Szarr Entertainment in the wake of a tumultuous - deliberately engineered - scandal, Astarion Ancunín has rebuilt his acting career, from the blacklisted ground up. Through a heavily doctored narrative of queer reclamation, he's finally making a name for himself, and hoping to claim prestige (and maybe a few awards) through the leading role in a historical biopic about the openly gay elven oracle, Aerthwyn Capaxath.
The only problem is, Aerthwyn Capaxath is the worst person that ever lived (or died). Just ask Dr. Rosalie Frostsong, a thoroughly unwilling expert on the subject.
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(A celebrity/academic, reluctant workplace allies turned friends-to-lovers, modern AU... a.k.a. the silliest thing i've ever written. I hope people enjoy!)
Series
- Part 6 of Rat Bastard Boi (BG3)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 246,259
- Chapters:
- 31/?
- Comments:
- 3,012
- Kudos:
- 1,157
- Bookmarks:
- 211
- Hits:
- 46,448
Bookmarked by Lemonator
13 Jan 2026
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Summary
The wooden box is small and nondescript. Tied shut with a plain, blue ribbon. The both of them stare at it for a long, long moment sitting innocuously on the desk by their door.
“I’m opening it,” Astarion says and gives the ribbon a gentle tug.
It’s made of silk, judging from the texture and easy slide, and he lifts the tiny, metal latch holding it shut.
The inside is filled with more silk, the same, early-dawn blue. He admires the sooth glide of it even as he plucks that up to reveal the item nestled within.
“Huh,” his darling says. Which is her way to say many things, but in this case likely means, “That’s a tiny, metal cock.”
These two losers finally get their hands on a Greater Magic Phallus; Astarion intends to break that in. Thoroughly.
Series
- Part 13 of these two shitheads
Bookmarked by Lemonator
13 Nov 2025
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Summary
After Adelaide's car decides to take an unscheduled dive into the world of Baldur's Gate, she wakes up not with car keys, but with sand in her hands on a beach that's definitely not in Savannah, GA. Faerun? Seriously?
Navigating this new reality with the grace of a cat on roller skates, Adelaide wonders if her game save might be corrupted because surely, this can't be happening. Meanwhile, she's busy catching feelings for Astarion because, let's face it, who wouldn't fall for a vampire with more charm than a high-level bard?
Series
- Part 1 of Astarion & Adelaide 🩸♥️ BloodySilver
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 123,247
- Chapters:
- 27/27
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 348
- Kudos:
- 218
- Bookmarks:
- 66
- Hits:
- 9,162
Bookmarked by Lemonator
12 Nov 2025
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Summary
Fifty years after the events of Collision Course: Aeterna Amantes, Adelaide makes the difficult decision to leave Astarion behind, seeking freedom from his cold and loveless embrace. What Adelaide thought would bring her peace turns into a heartbreaking journey for both of them, as old wounds are reopened and brought to light.
And while she wrestles with the possibility of a future without him, Astarion unwillingly faces the demons of his past choices. But the question remains: will he let her go?
Series
- Part 7 of Astarion & Adelaide 🩸♥️ BloodySilver
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,926
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 113
- Kudos:
- 68
- Bookmarks:
- 9
- Hits:
- 1,170
Bookmarked by Lemonator
12 Nov 2025
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Summary
Nearly two years after severing his bond with Adelaide, Astarion takes her up on the mysterious invitation to join her in Avernus. Yet it becomes apparent that nothing is what it seems and hope for reconciliation is quickly overshadowed by Adelaide's secrecy—secrets that bring up ties to parts of their past he once thought dealt with.
As he joins her on her quest, Astarion finds himself falling for a version of Adelaide that the tadpole and their bond never allowed for. Now, he struggles between his desire to help her, to make things right once and for all, and discerning her true feelings for him.
Series
- Part 8 of Astarion & Adelaide 🩸♥️ BloodySilver
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,887
- Chapters:
- 1/2
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 2
- Kudos:
- 12
- Bookmarks:
- 1
- Hits:
- 359
Bookmarked by Lemonator
12 Nov 2025
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Summary
Astarion Ancunin is bored.
Ascension brought him nobility, wealth, and power, but only so much joy, so now he roams Baldur's Gate in the dark, cowled and hunting those who prey on the innocent just as he used to do.
When a young noblewoman he saves in the night unwittingly provides him the means to take down an entire noble house of Baldur's Gate, Astarion decides to take full advantage. After all, she's never seen the face of her nighttime vampire savior--she would never know that he is also a handsome, wealthy, and eligible lord who can mingle in daytime society. So he sets himself up as a candidate for her marriage. He'll woo her, manipulate her, seduce her, and use her, all to bring about the ruin of his enemies.
He just doesn't expect to fall for her in the process.
Bookmarked by Lemonator
19 Oct 2025
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Summary
Astarion Ancunín is Hollyweald's most talented disaster—an actor whose scandals are legendary and whose ego is even bigger. When his latest meltdown threatens to end his career, his agent presents a solution: fake date Baldur's Gate sweetheart to rehabilitate his image.
What starts as a competitive game of public affection becomes something neither expected. Between red carpets and late-night diners, Oscar ceremonies and midnight confessions, two people who've forgotten how to be real discover that the best performances happen when you stop acting.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 147,860
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 278
- Kudos:
- 196
- Bookmarks:
- 42
- Hits:
- 4,600
Bookmarked by Lemonator
05 Oct 2025
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Summary
Two years of shared mornings, quiet evenings, and a love Astarion thought was unshakeable, gone in an instant. When he and Tavitha are ripped from their modern life and thrust into the world of mind flayers and medieval horrors, he remembers nothing of the life they've built together.
As familiar strangers navigate an unfamiliar world, Tav must help the man she loves survive experiences neither of them was ever meant to live through. And while Astarion struggles to reconcile fragments of an impossible past with the nightmare he now inhabits, Tav deals with revelations of a past completely foreign to her.
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Sequel to I Wanna Be YoursSeries
- Part 4 of Wanna Be Yours
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,031
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 32
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 272
Bookmarked by Lemonator
19 Aug 2025
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Summary
A corpse cries for freedom when it has already been placed within a tomb. Those who would call themselves gods claim that the destruction of such a thing restores balance. Yet it is in the very nature of balance to be threatened. Each restoration is not a return, but a change, the natural order made anew.
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With the resurgence of the Bhaal cult threatening his status, Cazador Szarr proposes a deal: one of his spawn as a gift for their leader, in exchange for peace at his door. The deal is taken, and a truce is reached... or so both parties claim.
In the midst of all of it, the new, unholy betrothed must decide where their loyalties lie.
Series
- Part 6 of Dirgesinger
Bookmarked by Lemonator
07 Aug 2025
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Standards, Darling. by dramatic_chipmunk, VakarianSyndrome
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
18 May 2026
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Summary
Astarion Ancunín has built his reputation on one simple rule: never become romantically involved with clients. As Baldur's Gate premier matchmaker, he's successfully paired hundreds of people while keeping his own heart carefully locked away.
Until Octavia Fallguard walks into his office—his brother's ex. A pole dancing instructor with impossibly high standards, a clever tongue, and zero tolerance for his usual charm. She knows exactly what she wants in a partner; and what she doesn't want is her ex's insufferably arrogant brother deciding her love life for her.
But when every date ends in disaster, and their professional relationship evolves into something far more personal, the lines between duty and desire become dangerously blurred.
Starring Chip as Octavia and Vak as Astarion in this summer's messiest romcom.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,496
- Chapters:
- 4/?
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 53
- Kudos:
- 87
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 1,119
Bookmarked by Lemonator
22 Jul 2025
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Bookmarked by Lemonator
15 Jul 2025
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Summary
Tav has always kept her fantasies separate from her real life. But ever since she stumbled across his videos—the faceless man with the rune-like tattoo on his forearm, dulcet whispering voice, and the way he makes his lovers unravel with nothing but the cadence of his praise—she hasn't been able to look away. Yet the introduction of her new trainee swings her desires into something far more dangerous, because opening the door for another very real heartbreak is the last thing she wants to do.
Astarion's been leading a double-life for years, nine-to-five on paper, mysterious pleasure dom after hours. It's always been just a superficial side-gig meant to bolster his earning. But when he finds himself enthralled with his trainer, the ensuing flirtation feels harmless until it isn’t, and something in him struggles to keep it together.
His usual detachment doesn’t hold. He's thinking about her when he shouldn't be and hearing her voice instead of the script. And it's fine. It's under control—not that it means anything. Naturally.
She was never supposed to know.
He was never supposed to feel.
And now neither of them can stop.
Series
- Part 1 of Wanna Be Yours
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63,230
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 209
- Kudos:
- 253
- Bookmarks:
- 44
- Hits:
- 5,151
Bookmarked by Lemonator
26 Apr 2025
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Summary
It clocks. The shape. Something’s off. You look down between your bodies. You seen him in panties before. But his front now is flat. No hint of an erection.
“Do you remember that little chat we had, oh, around Greengrass last year?” he says.
Their version of the spring equinox. And the day you got that greater phallus. You, naturally, had mused about the orgasmic differences in genitalia, and Astarion had perked up (sweating and flushed and still panting).
You look at his crotch. The way them panties hug his hips.
“Oh,” you say.
His grin turns predatory.
Astarion receives a long-awaited package. And finally gets to use a long-awaited Earthian item.
Series
- Part 12 of these two shitheads
Bookmarked by Lemonator
25 Apr 2025
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Summary
Wyll’s lantern swung closer. Tav could see the gleam of his boots through the underbrush. He was only steps away.
“Do you think he’d be angry, pet?” Astarion mused. “If he found you like this? Would he be heartbroken? Or simply humiliated?”
Of course he wouldn't let her answer. He covered her mouth with one hand, the other pressing her down.
She clenched her jaw, wanting not to tremble beneath him. She should’ve been ashamed. But gods, it was hard to think when Astarion was like this—when he made her feel so alive.
His mouth grazed the back of her shoulder, then up her neck. “Should I bite your scruff while I fuck you in front of your boyfriend? Like a wild beast?”
Astarion thinks seducing her will save him. Only, he isn’t as untouchable as he pretends, and she isn’t as innocent as he thinks—she has secrets sharp enough to cut them both open.
Series
- Part 2 of Litanies of Ruin
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 268,935
- Chapters:
- 37/40
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,148
- Kudos:
- 1,182
- Bookmarks:
- 225
- Hits:
- 54,167
Bookmarked by Lemonator
18 Apr 2025
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Summary
When you've been alive 300 years and you're not even middle aged yet, and your immortal ex shows up at your art show like he didn't skip all your mutual friends' funerals, and you're mad at him but a bunch of the paintings are of him... we've all been there
Bookmarked by Lemonator
07 Mar 2025
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(formerly “at your mercy”)
Being as beautiful as he was, people wanting him the way they certainly seemed to everywhere they went, it must be impossible for him to feel safe anywhere. To feel whole. To feel like a mind attached to a body rather than floating outside of it. Gods, but he had such a good mind.
… Did he know that? What if he didn’t know that? What if he thought she only wanted his body? Surely he wasn’t that dense?
Oh gods, she realized. He absolutely is.
Without giving it another thought, Mina stood and walked towards his tent.
Series
Bookmarked by Lemonator
01 Mar 2025
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Summary
“If…if the timing was different, if we’d had any of our shit together, do you think you and I could have been in love?”
He clenches his jaw before looking over at you with a faux-relaxed smile. “We were, darling.”
3 years after the defeat of the Absolute, you and your companions have your own lives (and a group chat) but get together for weddings and funerals. You (Tav) haven't heard from your best friend Astarion in a little while. Hopefully you'll get some answers at Alfira's wedding.
*formerly “Overlooked”
Series
- Part 1 of Wedding season
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 69,254
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 498
- Kudos:
- 466
- Bookmarks:
- 110
- Hits:
- 14,202
Bookmarked by Lemonator
25 Feb 2025
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Summary
Auri’s young. She’s innocent. Astarion’s not sure if she’s ever known another’s touch below the waist at all. When she rolls her hips, seeking any kind of pressure, it’s not intentional. He would balk at the idea under most circumstances. Sex is another form of torture. It might not be with her blood coursing through him.
He opens his mouth to entertain the idea–
And Auri’s body goes limp in his arms.
Astarion blinks. When he licks the blood from her neck, she doesn’t move. His chin is no doubt painted red. Panic swells in his breast, but Auri’s chest rises and falls. She’s not dead. She’s just an idiot. “Stupid girl,” Astarion whispers.
It’s for the best. He might have done something Auri would have regretted.
auri and astarion meet before the nautiloid ever flies over baldur's gate. and who wouldn't want to lose their virginity to a vampire?
Series
- Part 11 of we can live forever if you've got the time
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,957
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 364
- Kudos:
- 668
- Bookmarks:
- 110
- Hits:
- 17,600
Bookmarked by Lemonator
25 Feb 2025