MelonPie24
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Summary
Ed is an ex-Olympic skier and the special guest at Stede's corporate retreat. Stede's a divorcee who's been lying about a boyfriend. But they didn't book Ed a room... and there's only one bed.
Series
- Part 1 of Smutty Gentlebeard not-quite-one shots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,786
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 605
- Kudos:
- 2,275
- Bookmarks:
- 479
- Hits:
- 24,106
Bookmarked by MelonPie24
03 Jan 2026
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Summary
Stede draws his attention back to the head massage, alternating pressure from the kind of bruising that’s enough to knead a migraine away, to gentle, delicate strokes through his hair. He grows almost meditative with it, forcing his eyes away from Ed’s face and simply enjoying the feeling of body heat and cool, damp-silk hair against his palms. Truthfully, he could do this for hours, rather than the usual three-to-five minutes that’s usually afforded to customers when they…
When…
It’s been longer than three-to-five minutes.
A quick glance at the clock reveals it’s been far, far longer than three-to-five minutes.
Stede doesn’t mind, obviously. And Ed doesn’t seem to be about to question it. But the snide little Lucius-like voice in the back of his mind points out that almost twenty fucking minutes is maybe a bit of an overkill.
Stede yanks his hands away from Ed’s hair like it’s covered in bleach.
“Okey-doke!” Stede manages, voice shrill and a little strangled.
From across the salon, the real Lucius snorts.
(OR: Stede's a hair stylist. Ed shows up for an appointment. And shows up. And shows up. And shows up...)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 106,256
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 2,166
- Kudos:
- 1,160
- Bookmarks:
- 343
- Hits:
- 22,262
Bookmarked by MelonPie24
30 Sep 2025
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Summary
Edward, Stede thinks, examining the man laying on the bed. He looks for all the world like a fearsome outlaw, which makes the failed robbery all the more confusing to Stede, but there’s a vulnerability in his sleeping face that tugs on his heartstrings. Stede’s always been a bit of a sucker for a stray. He attributes it to being a bit of a stray himself.
Edward looks tired. Really tired, more than just the wound would justify.
Perhaps he can get some rest here. Perhaps Stede can help with that, at least.
In which notorious outlaw Edward Teach and his band of miscreants are taken in by kindly ranch owner Stede Bonnet and his misfit crew of semi-reformed criminals.
AKA the cowboy au no one asked for but I desperately want. Yeehaw.
[COMPLETE!]
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Summary
Ed meets Stede on a beach in Barbados a month before the Revenge is finished. Ed decides that kidnapping a wealthy (handsome) man might break the monotony of being Blackbeard. Stede is a little too on board with being kidnapped.
Basically, an alternate meeting slow-burn AU, with lots of humor, hijinks, and building sexual and romantic tension.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 118,021
- Chapters:
- 35/35
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 1,406
- Kudos:
- 2,177
- Bookmarks:
- 499
- Hits:
- 53,369
Bookmarked by MelonPie24
10 Dec 2024