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wanna take a ride with the elevator man by romeynticism (pretzelmintz)
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
05 Apr 2025
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“No,” she shakes her head just slightly, suddenly very interested in the slow sway of the drawn curtains, “This is good.”
Caitlyn cocks her head. “This?”
Rather than use her very functional adult woman voice to ask for what she wants, Vi simply lies back, fastens her hands onto Cait’s thighs, and pokes her tongue out between her red lips.
The tongue must really sell her vision, because only then does Cait’s expression pop out of its analytical furrowed state. Her eye goes wide enough that the other parts just the slightest bit, unseeing rain grey and just as adorably surprised as its sky blue counterpart.
“Oh,” she says simply, void of any opinion, “We’ve never tried that before.”Caitlyn sits on Vi's face for nearly an hour.
Bookmarked by Offgray
13 Oct 2025
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“For any transgression, money will be deducted from the prize.”
“Fuck,” Zoey mutters.
No kissing. No sex. No jacking off. As if she’s not sitting there between the two sexiest women she’s ever seen in her life. God. She’s fucked.
Lana chimes one last time.
“Welcome to Too Hot To Handle.”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,140
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 702
- Kudos:
- 1,999
- Bookmarks:
- 486
- Hits:
- 34,142
Bookmarked by Offgray
24 Aug 2025
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Makoto clung to her, kissing the top of Ann's blonde head, slim arms that had only recently begun gaining muscle wrapped around her. Fiercely. Protectively. As though, if she loved her enough right now, she could undo every past trauma and take away every old hurt.
Ann fell for the uptight student council president gradually, by inches—or maybe it was all at once, and she didn't even realize.
Bookmarked by Offgray
31 Jul 2025
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Zoey loves seeing Rumi like this. It’s rare outside their home but not totally unlike the transformation that overtakes her when she’s about to perform—but this is so much more pointed, fixed on five fools instead of fifty thousand beloved fans, and all the more potent for it. When Rumi lifts her chin, a smirk pulling at her lips, it’s like she’s grown three inches and the aura that burns around her is pure power.
(Zoey doesn’t moan. No matter what Mira’s judgemental look might suggest.)
Bookmarked by Offgray
29 Jul 2025
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Dr. Harkness stalks the halls of Westview General Teaching Hospital with a cane and a diagnostic record that borders on legendary—with a record of legal liabilities to match. As Head of Diagnostic Medicine, she's brilliant, insufferable, and just barely worth the trouble she causes.
Enter Rio Vidal: the hospital's new General Counsel—and Agatha's ex-wife. She’s here to protect the hospital. She’s not sure she can stop herself from trying to protect Agatha, too.
Or: a House, M.D. AU.
Bookmarked by Offgray
05 Jul 2025
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Vikras had acquitted himself well. He’d tell anyone who’d listen that he should’ve won - had the correct defense against a two handed weapon, had the years of experience, done everything right.
The Blue Knight wielded his rectangle with speed, power, and precision - a surgeon with a scalpel - and had him disarmed, de-shielded, and falling backwards in the air in three devastating moves.
The crash of armour hitting dust had rung out amongst the crowd, a stunned silence that Vikras would hear for the rest of his knightly days.
What he’d remember far past that, however, was the Blue Knight accepting his victory, then forfeiting the rest of the tournament.
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A mysterious blue knight is going from tournament to tournament, defeating the worst of nobility. Nobody knows his name.
Bookmarked by Offgray
16 Jun 2025
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Unbound for a second, Beatrice lifts her hand back up. There’s no dirt, no excuse, but she palms Ava’s face again, just to feel it, just for that special close lipped smile that graces Ava’s face again, just for her to sigh.
She removes it quickly—not quickly enough, too quickly—catching Ava’s eyes when they open again.
“Now,” Beatrice says, voice soft and serious. “Let’s try again.”
Ava nods, the halo glows, her feet leave the ground, and she doubles her time.
—
Beatrice realizes that her touch helps Ava with her training, and, well, things escalate.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,470
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 122
- Kudos:
- 2,482
- Bookmarks:
- 393
- Hits:
- 21,151
Bookmarked by Offgray
15 Jun 2025
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“Agatha,” she said, “Are you referring to any rule in particular?”
“I read the book. We’re supposed to conceive a baby, generally. And tonight, more specifically.”
Rio’s face twisted into a familiar, constipated look. “I think I need to sit down.”
Or,
On the first night of an arranged marriage, two childhood best friends blunder through the question of whether to make good on a religious obligation to conceive a child.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,902
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 93
- Kudos:
- 1,111
- Bookmarks:
- 180
- Hits:
- 10,222
Bookmarked by Offgray
25 May 2025
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But Alex calls, five years later, out of the blue, and says, voice thin and just this side of desperate, “She said not to call you, you know.” Lena says nothing, only makes a vague humming noise intended to convey some sense of irony. “But she’s being dumb, and I’m not above begging.”
Lena’s jaw clenches. That’s rich, really, the idea that Kara, of all people, thinks herself above things.
“Look, Lena, I know…” Alex starts but then immediately stops, as if she’s realized that there are about fifty ways that sentence can end and precisely none of them are good. Instead, she says, “There’s just nobody else. And we—I really need your help.”
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aka the one where Lena does what she had always done when faced with the disintegration of a fundamental personal relationship—that is, she ran, until she couldn’t.
Bookmarked by Offgray
29 Apr 2025
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any little misstep, I’ll be at your doorstep by paddingtonfan69
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
24 Feb 2025
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“Rio,” Agatha breathes, the first name slipping out of her as if by accident.
Rio smiles, unable to help herself. “Miss me?”
Agatha’s face curves into an answering grin, predatory, a “yes” that she will never say aloud.
“Come to drop the lawsuit?” she asks instead.
“In your dreams,” Rio says.
“Oh, Agent Vidal, my dreams are far more interesting than that.”
—
In the case of an individual held liable for refusal to pay their federal taxes, thus defrauding the federal government, a window of 90 days is given for the plaintiff to pay the amount owed, otherwise a hearing will commence. Results of the hearing may range from fines to a prison sentence.These are the 90 days in the case of The Internal Revenue Service vs. Agatha Harkness.
More or less.
Series
- Part 3 of death and taxes
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,907
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 680
- Kudos:
- 2,645
- Bookmarks:
- 332
- Hits:
- 30,075
Bookmarked by Offgray
18 Apr 2025
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feels like we could go on for forever this way by paddingtonfan69
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
18 Dec 2024
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Summary
“Ooh, waiting for someone special?” Sharon asks with a wink.
“No,” Agatha says, a little too quickly. “I just happen to know that someone has that ticket and that someone is not you.”
“This someone wouldn’t happen to be that sharp dressed lady who is always knocking on your door?”
“That’s my tax agent, Sharon,” Agatha says, like Sharon is an idiot. Sharon is an idiot. She’s also right, but that’s really not the point.
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IRS Agent Rio Vidal and Enemy Of The State Agatha Harkness set aside their differences to go see a high school musical and it goes as well as you’d expect.
Series
- Part 2 of death and taxes
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,236
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 244
- Kudos:
- 2,633
- Bookmarks:
- 320
- Hits:
- 23,177
Bookmarked by Offgray
17 Apr 2025
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Summary
Agatha reaches for the idol and Rio uses the couple inches she has on Agatha to keep it out of reach. Agatha growls at her. Oh, this is fun. Every time Rio’s been on this show before, she and Agatha worked together as a well-oiled machine. Until it all went sour. But it’s never been like this, never a push and pull, out here where they are closer to nature, where they are closer to being their animal selves. Rio likes it far more than she should.
Agatha shoves her to the ground and Rio goes willingly, still holding the idol out of reach of Agatha’s wanting hands. Rio fondly remembers when those hands wanted her.
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Six years after Agatha Harkness and Rio Vidal had their infamous falling out, they’re back on the same season of Survivor. Now they have to outwit, outplay, and outlast each other, amidst a sea of new and returning players who just might shake everything up. A love letter to Survivor (2000-present).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 142,379
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 2,364
- Kudos:
- 1,427
- Bookmarks:
- 277
- Hits:
- 39,243
Bookmarked by Offgray
17 Apr 2025
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“I’d give her two weeks. Maybe a month. An uncomfortable month. Or, I take her back to Philadelphia, give her a good meal, a snuggle, and an easy death, and she becomes a part of research that will better humanity. Not bad for a calf born in bumfuck, Pennsylvania.”
“What do they call you at your lab,” Rio asked. She was standing with her hands on her hips and a wrinkle in her brow, “‘The Closer’, something like that?”
“I want that calf,” Agatha said, her voice measured, even, “And the only thing standing between her and me right now is you."
or,
After a calf with a rare congenital abnormality is born on an area farm, Agatha, a researcher, goes to collect. Unfortunately, the calf's owner is not exactly keen on giving her up.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,166
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 191
- Kudos:
- 1,285
- Bookmarks:
- 239
- Hits:
- 12,867
Bookmarked by Offgray
13 Apr 2025
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A little weather changes nothing about the importance of preparedness. What one endures in discomfort defines the true strength of their body, mind, and character alike.
That’s why Rangi drags Kyoshi out of bed an hour earlier than usual for morning training.
Rangi and Kyoshi spar during a brutal Yokoyan heat wave. Things get a bit out of hand.
Bookmarked by Offgray
12 Apr 2025
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“Hey! Did you hear me? I said—“ the Blue Belly comes in front of her and his eyes widen in horror. Horror and, Vi hopes, recognition, “I need backup and a medic—“
“No,” she gasps out, “backup and medic to Officer Kiramman’s location. Her patrol started on—“
“Easy, easy,” he grabs her as her legs buckle, “medic!”
“No,” Vi shakes her head, “Caitlyn. You need to find Cait.”
Various oneshots inspired by somewillwin's soulmate AU.
Series
- Part 1 of Soulmate AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,342
- Chapters:
- 18/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 309
- Kudos:
- 1,818
- Bookmarks:
- 353
- Hits:
- 64,419
Bookmarked by Offgray
08 Apr 2025
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On Your Six by Y3LP for skyllianhamster
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021), League of Legends
16 Mar 2025
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A character study about the fact that Vi is a pretty good detective, actually, it's just that she kind of likes it in Caitlyn's shadow.
Based on the two separate times in the show that Vi sees some guy walking and knows they're up to some shit, and the author's enduring League headcanons.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,071
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 19
- Kudos:
- 196
- Bookmarks:
- 30
- Hits:
- 1,278
Bookmarked by Offgray
27 Mar 2025
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Blisters and Barnacles by GarchankDefender
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
22 Jul 2025
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Summary
The CaitVi Coast Guard AU.
Caitlyn is the Commanding Officer aboard a small Piltover Coast Guard SAR boat. They work along the southern Valoran coast, responding to ships in distress and providing aid - the first responders of the sea.
Vi arrives as her new deckhand.
Bookmarked by Offgray
23 Mar 2025
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severed symmetry by CourierNinetyTwo for rusko110
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021), League of Legends
21 Mar 2025
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Summary
At first, Caitlyn wasn't sure why the scar on her stomach troubled her so much.
While the stab had gone deep, the overall damage paled in comparison to the shard of metal Ambessa drove into her eye—lid split, vision lost. To be run through was never pleasant, although Caitlyn knew she was remarkably lucky that every vital organ in her torso had been missed, and the healing process was simply a matter of time. Trying not to strain her core while in recovery was its own trial, but she and Vi shared a bed together while convalescing, and eventually the wound closed, the stitches were cut away, and it was merely a raised, pale line amidst so much skin.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,728
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 24
- Kudos:
- 404
- Bookmarks:
- 66
- Hits:
- 2,723
Bookmarked by Offgray
23 Mar 2025
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Summary
But here and now, her infatuation and endless ire with the woman next to her would only widen, growing to swallow her whole. Her mother seals their fate with a stern, decided gaze. Her mother clears her throat, her cup of tea already half drank in front of her before she speaks.
“In light of yesterday, and with the threat of Noxus looming over us, I’ve decided to appoint Ser Violet to be your sworn protector. Wherever you go, she goes.”
The finality in her tone steals the air from Caitlyn’s lungs. She can feel Vi stiffen next to her, her breathing an increment heavier. Caitlyn dares a side-long glance, anger dancing on the tip of her tongue, and is stunned to see Vi already staring at her, open and almost wild."
OR
Vi, a knight of the Queen’s Guard, is personally appointed by the Queen, Cassandra Kiramman, to be the princess’s sworn protector in the wake of a blooming war with Noxus. However, the princess is as stubborn as they come and tries to thwart the knight at every possible turn. Until she doesn't
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 284,956
- Chapters:
- 37/37
- Comments:
- 3,605
- Kudos:
- 13,138
- Bookmarks:
- 3,361
- Hits:
- 686,085
Bookmarked by Offgray
23 Mar 2025
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Summary
Vi bit back a laugh, and then selected a piece with her fork and lightly blew on it to cool it down before taking a bite. She chewed thoughtfully and beamed, addressing the camera.“You know what, this might be my favourite version yet. It’s not perfect,” she chuckled a bit, clearing her throat, “but like my mom always said, just because something’s not perfect doesn’t mean it’s bad. Anyone can make it perfect.”
She took another forkful and held it up to the camera with a dashing smile and a wink. “Only you, can make it the way you do.”
YouTube video, posted August 2013
Three years after the events of the fic Rumours, Vi and Caitlyn prepare a Valentines’ Day dinner. Nothing goes as planned.
Series
- Part 2 of Rumours: Actor AU
Bookmarked by Offgray
21 Mar 2025