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And thus began a very complicated and unideal state of affairs in which Draco couldn’t ask whether the world-ending, all-consuming randiness he felt all day every day from that point on was a symptom of his magical fake-real (but mostly fake) pregnancy and something that she was also experiencing, or simply the logical progression of his hithertofore unacknowledged obsession with Hermione Granger.
Or, Draco has couvade syndrome (the magical version!) thrust upon him.
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
08 Oct 2025
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Yours, Inevitably by ChaosAndCrumpets for ellieauthor
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
14 Feb 2023
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Summary
Draco Malfoy is Hermione Granger's soulmate.
Allegedly.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,271
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 201
- Kudos:
- 3,170
- Bookmarks:
- 661
- Hits:
- 40,888
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
27 Sep 2025
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Summary
Every terrible moment in his life, Draco thought about how one of the most powerful potions in existence curled up and around others like opalescent smoke, pulsing bright and thick like ichor, beckoning and enticing everyone…but.
Him.
Nothing.
Draco deserved this.
or, for some reason Amortentia has no scent for Draco. It's something he considers a terrible flaw and believes it's proof he lacks the capacity to feel romantic love.
But everything is fine. (narrator: everything was not fine.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,033
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 151
- Kudos:
- 1,088
- Bookmarks:
- 238
- Hits:
- 11,850
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
07 Sep 2025
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Summary
Severus Snape attempts to alleviate the indignity and aggravation of living in a tent with Hermione Granger by throwing his godson into the breach.
Sometimes the solution is exponentially worse than the problem.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,594
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 275
- Kudos:
- 6,321
- Bookmarks:
- 1,257
- Hits:
- 67,067
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
21 Feb 2025
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Summary
On the 31st of October, an eleven-year-old girl will bring about the end of the world. According to prophecy, anyway, and everyone knows those are infallible.
Fortunately, the world has unlikely heroes in the form of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, who've selflessly agreed to put aside their mutual hatred and long-standing prank war in order to find the girl and stop the apocalypse. If only they could be certain they have the right child…
For fans of Terry Pratchett and dramatic irony, a comedy of errors about two people so stubbornly in denial, Fate itself decides to step in.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,391
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 1,744
- Kudos:
- 3,558
- Bookmarks:
- 2,387
- Hits:
- 199,022
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
13 Feb 2025
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In Heat by Heather [archived by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist]
Fandoms: The West Wing
05 Feb 2002
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Summary
A sneak attack in the Senate, a man-hungry socialite, a broken air conditioner, a strand of heirloom pearls, a Cuban emigré
with an attitude, boys being boys and Josh, in charge, deep in denial and more romantically-challenged than normal, make for an overheated week in the West Wing- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,732
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2
- Kudos:
- 15
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 1,244
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
30 Jan 2025
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Solecism by Marguerite, Ryo Sen [archived by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist]
Fandoms: The West Wing
16 Mar 2009
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Summary
"Let me get this straight: You want the Communications Director, the President's body man, a reporter for the Washington Post, and a DNC speechwriter to tag along to your assistant's apartment so that we can play bad cop while you simultaneously yell at her for taking the credit for her not-Italian ex-boyfriend's quote and play the good cop?"
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,205
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 199
- Bookmarks:
- 74
- Hits:
- 2,600
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
30 Jan 2025
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Summary
For years, Draco has been complacent. His career is on track, his future is arranged, and he's adapted to the darkness plaguing his restless nights. When paired with Hermione Granger on a top secret project, he begins to question if the comfort of familiarity is enough. As long nights dwindle and their connection grows, she shines a light on possibilities he's never imagined.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 111,500
- Chapters:
- 27/27
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,608
- Kudos:
- 4,795
- Bookmarks:
- 1,929
- Hits:
- 229,516
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
30 Jan 2025
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Strange You Never Knew by raven_maiden for weestarmeggie
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 Apr 2020
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Summary
“Three minutes to the lift, two to the board room. I believe that gives me”—he lifted his forearm to check his watch—“eight minutes to make you come.”Fire pooled in her belly. “A bit cocky, are we?”
“I’ve gotten you off in less.”
**
Something strange is up with Malfoy, Hermione's fellow Auror and secret shagging partner. Ready or not, she's about to find out.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,547
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 214
- Kudos:
- 10,413
- Bookmarks:
- 1,984
- Hits:
- 192,966
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
15 Dec 2024
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Summary
Draco’s current mistake—well, it wasn’t simply one, but three—was a chain of seemingly unconnected events that, when spliced together just so, made one hell of a shit storm.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,440
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 220
- Kudos:
- 3,482
- Bookmarks:
- 1,115
- Hits:
- 98,250
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
14 Nov 2024
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Summary
Draco is a war hero, a high-ranking Ministry Auror who’s been redeemed in the eyes of the public after defecting to The Order during the Second Wizarding War. Hermione is a disgraced criminal, locked away in Azkaban for her defiance of the new post-war Marriage Law. Draco makes it his mission to bring her home, but the war hasn't left either of them unscathed.
If you can’t fight your own demons, fight someone else's.
“Hermione had expected some level of resistance from Draco at her incarceration, but not to this extreme. He was unraveling himself while desperately trying to keep her together.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,588
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 167
- Kudos:
- 940
- Bookmarks:
- 242
- Hits:
- 18,011
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
09 Oct 2024
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Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Apr 2022
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Summary
Hermione straddles the Muggle and Magical worlds as a medical researcher and Healer about to make a big discovery. Draco is an Auror assigned to protect her from forces unknown – to both of their displeasure.
Features hyper-competent, fiery Hermione and lazy, yet dangerous, Draco. Slow burn.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 199,548
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Collections:
- 207
- Comments:
- 13,252
- Kudos:
- 97,684
- Bookmarks:
- 30,380
- Hits:
- 5,291,647
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
06 Oct 2024
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Summary
In attempting to define a precise plan of action in response to the particular piece of unexpected news she had recently (six months still qualified as recent, in relative terms, didn’t it?) received, Hermione did the only thing she knew would calm the tornado which was currently whirling about her stomach.
She made a list.
Pro: Any traits a person could hope for in the father of one's offspring are admittedly present in the man who has assisted in creating this one.
Con: However many admirable traits he may possess, the aforementioned co-creator is still, to his detriment, Draco Malfoy- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,864
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 1,546
- Kudos:
- 10,182
- Bookmarks:
- 2,928
- Hits:
- 287,717
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
23 Jun 2024
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,402
- Kudos:
- 30,193
- Bookmarks:
- 12,001
- Hits:
- 1,810,981
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
26 May 2024
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Summary
He regards her with interest, cool as the ice in his G&T. “What do you want?”
On close inspection, he's a bit deadly. It's the combined power of self-regard, an open ear, and a cunningly tailored suit.
Hermione wants—
“An expiration date would be nice.” She suctions up the watery dregs and signals for more. “Let’s say I want . . . a year. Exactly one year of monogamy without the possibility of further commitment."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 409
- Kudos:
- 7,580
- Bookmarks:
- 1,721
- Hits:
- 80,706
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
17 May 2024
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Summary
Albus Dumbledore had been wrong about Voldemort’s horcruxes.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,427
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 102
- Kudos:
- 4,991
- Bookmarks:
- 966
- Hits:
- 52,935
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
17 May 2024
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Summary
Hermione Granger doesn’t recognise her life anymore. She lives on her own, has distanced herself from her friends, from the wizarding world, from everything. Under the pressure of the secrets she has kept for fifteen years, she has shrunk.
Until Draco Malfoy turns up on her doorstep, his magic vanished, a deadly wound in his stomach, professing that he has nowhere else to go.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,292
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 685
- Kudos:
- 2,741
- Bookmarks:
- 1,336
- Hits:
- 124,092
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
12 May 2024
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Movements, Contrived and Improvised by HeyJude19 for MrsButlertron
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
28 Dec 2021
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Summary
Draco and his mother had behaved like upstanding citizens for years, donated thousands of Galleons, yet apparently it only took a bit of romantic fluff with Granger and he could consider himself fully redeemed.
A bar so low he’d barely need to raise his feet to clear it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,395
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 29
- Comments:
- 555
- Kudos:
- 10,067
- Bookmarks:
- 2,447
- Hits:
- 145,448
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
10 Apr 2024
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Public Bookmark 5172
Mystery Work
Part of mightbewriting fic archive
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
28 Jan 2024
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Summary
This story is set twenty-three years after the fall of Voldemort. Our main characters are Ministry employees, middle-aged, and the majority of them not very happy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,893
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 26
- Comments:
- 1,661
- Kudos:
- 10,121
- Bookmarks:
- 4,261
- Hits:
- 373,520
Bookmarked by One_last_pickleback
25 Jan 2024