13 Works by Phasmama
Listing Works
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Sometimes a friend of a friend tells you a story so crazy you decide you have to turn it into a fanfic.
So this is the actor x film festival volunteer fic that has driven me rabid ever since.
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“Can you tell us about when you first met Nandor?”
Guillermo pauses for a moment, eyes flicking between the flat black lens of the camera, and the eyes of the director, Ana. This week actually hasn’t felt quiet by any means to Guillermo, but apparently they had enough footage of him scrubbing blood out of ancient carpets, and were fishing around for something a bit more interesting.
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Guillermo's version of the story
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Delilah (by reallyrisky) by Phasmama, reallyrisky for rhymeandrisen
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
06 Jan 2024
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This was created by reallyrisky and posted on her behalf by Phasmama (who, to be clear, gets no credit for this masterpiece) as a gift for rhymeandrisen.
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ABC, 123 (baby, you and me) by Phasmama for HeartlessMemo
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
08 Jul 2023
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“Well, if you checked your phone like a normal person, you would know.” Liliana clucks her tongue in disapproval. “Still in your pj’s so late in the afternoon? Dormilón!” Her hands empty of the bag, she turns to pick up what he hadn’t even noticed. Her baby in a big car seat carrier. He barely even remembered she had a kid. Maria? Marta, maybe?
“Isabella needs to stay with you for a little bit. Couple of days, maybe a week.”
“What? No, no. No. A baby can’t stay here! It’s not safe,” Guillermo caught himself, “cause of- you know, the construction.”
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When Guillermo is pressed into baby-sitting duty for a week, things go fine, then terribly, then amazing.
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to take two souls too blind to see by beansprean, Phasmama
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
12 May 2023
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Things become even worse when the screaming starts. He grips the arms of the chair he is tied to. Grips hard. He knows of nothing that can threaten this many powerful vampires all at once. And if they are all screaming and stampeding while free, what is he to think, bound hand and foot and blindfolded? He is weak as a babe.
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Bean said "s2e10 but the vampires were blindfolded when they were tied up on stage" and it just spiralled from there. Click through for fic AND art!
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She runs one finger, painfully soft, around the edges of Guillermo’s panties. This is what Guillermo had been hoping for when she put them on this morning. They are sheer mesh, tinted the softest baby blue, as to be almost see-through. They barely cover Guillermo, hair curling out the top and sides, a decorative bow in the center looking almost comically out of place. God, with her legs spread wide like this, Nandor can probably see everything.
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You see, beansprean did some art and I woke up 3 days later from a fugue state and this fic existed.
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like a box of chocolates by Phasmama for andiforyou
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
04 Mar 2023
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Lillith’s Lustful Lollies
Aphrodisiacs Sweetened with a Rainbow of Treats for You to Enjoy
Red - Raspberry Jam - Heightened Senses
Orange - Orange Chocolate - Tits
Yellow - Lemon Curd - Stamina
Green - Bright Apple - Obedience
Blue - Blueberry Basil - Tentacles
Violet - Berry Twist - Emotional Vulnerability
Pink - Rhubarb and Ginger - Immobility
Guaranteed Eight Hours of Pleasure
*Don’t mix more than two treats at the same time, three for succubi. Vampires and werewolves (transformed) should not consume -
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“A strip club? This is where you humans take off all your little clothes, yes?”
“Nadja, you wear clothes too, stop acting like-” Guillermo cut himself off before it devolved into a fight. “Yeah. Humans will take off their clothes. Dancers, usually. Do you remember when we did that pole class in London?”
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Guillermo and Nadja find a new way to save the club. -
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“Master, is there something I can help you with?” He turned around to find Nandor laying on the couch in a way that he could only describe as posed. Laid out like some fainting maiden, Nandor was holding that fancy fan from yesterday. He had it in his left hand, as his right was draped out on his forehead as if overcome. Spread out to show off that painting, Nandor was delicately fluttering the fan with practiced little motions.
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Nandor tries to find a way to talk to Guillermo, but for some reason it's not working. -
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Ever since Guillermo had moved in and started helping prepare Nandor for slumber, she had insisted - one hundred strokes with the hairbrush, every night.
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Nandor decides to repay Guillermo for all her hard work. -
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As Guillermo lay there, she had a thought - maybe it wasn’t her controlling the vibrations. And if it wasn’t her, that meant it was…she gasped and breathed out -
“Nandor.”
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To convince Guillermo to stay after almost leaving for Celeste, Nandor gives her familiar a bit more than just a beating-off pillow. -
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“It is simply that you smell too good. Nadja and Laszlo and I have been talking and we decided we were tired of putting up with this shit!” Nandor said with unexpected heat in his voice.
“Your virginal smell wafting through the house was getting to us all, and they said I had to… what was it? Nut up or they’d suck up? Since I am a good master, I decided I would solve this trouble for us all and rid you of your virginity!”
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Nandor uses some vampire venom to help along the way, and Guillermo really doesn't mind. -
a night at the beach (by MadGuida666) by Phasmama for mourningwisp
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
28 Dec 2021
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This was created by MadGuida666 and posted on her behalf by Phasmama (who, to be clear, gets no credit for this masterpiece) as a gift for manfred_stone.