Teslapunk_Peryton
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Alastor the Cereal Killer Episode 2: Jounce, Crackle, & Pop! by Teslapunk_Peryton
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), Hellaverse | Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Universe, Kellogg's Rice Krispies "Snap Crackle & Pop" Commercials
16 Aug 2026
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Summary
Everyone's favorite cereal killer is back for more breakfast mayhem!
Alastor's been decrypting the Franken Berry Files and he wants to drop the latest scoop SO BAD, but life keeps getting in the way!
Between advanced mathemagic lessons for shadow-stitching and portal-making with Goetic tutor Andrealphus;
Lucifer popping in to borrow him to go kill something every time Charlie gets kidnapped by an animal mascot during their father-daughter outing at the Funny Jungleland Zoo;
And Lilith being too busy managing construction of the ridiculous milk pipeline that Hell's cereal mascots lobbied for to help him out when his tower gets signal-jammed...
All the while, an even bigger scoop - a conspiracy tying the zoo kidnappings, the signal-jamming, and the milk pipeline together - may be unfolding before his very eyes...
But first he needs to finish his homework before Andrealphus turns him into a flightless bird and assigns detention!Series
- Part 2 of Alastor The Cereal Killer
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Alastor the Cereal Killer SHORTS: Duck Chess! by Teslapunk_Peryton
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), Hellaverse | Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Universe
30 Jul 2026
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Summary
Now that they finally have the time and Alastor isn't currently busy rescuing princesses from cereal mascots' castles, Lucifer gets to teach Alastor how to play Duck Chess, a version of chess that uses a rubber ducky along with the standard chess pieces for a challenging and entertaining twist! (Yes it's a real chess variant!)
Series
- Part 3 of Alastor The Cereal Killer
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When Charlie holds a meeting to brainstorm ideas for redemption exercises, Alastor proposes that everybody take care of one of his Baby Furby collection like in one of those sitcom episodes where the characters learn to care for a baby. However there's a dark twist - each Furby is programmed to have been damaged by the sins of its caretaker!
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Alastor The Cereal Killer Episode 1: Monster Cereals Mash! by Teslapunk_Peryton
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
20 May 2026
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Summary
Thanks to Lucifer's addiction to sugar and rubber-duck-themed box prizes, Hell is overrun by a cartel of obnoxiously powerful cereal mascot overlords, and when his toddler gets kidnapped by Count Chocula and the gang right before Halloween, he realizes that things have gotten way out of hand and he needs to hire an expert.
He needs an expert at killing cereal mascots who is also an expert at solving cereal-box brainteasers to help with rescuing Charlie from this ensemble of sugar-coated cartoon villains.And of course, the guy he hires is the one who he heard was "Earth's finest cereal killer".
The pilot 'episode' and Halloween special of the series "Alastor the Cereal Killer", a crack AU in which a freshly harvested Alastor is immediately appointed to be Lucifer's and Lilith's executioner, chiefly to take care of their mascot problem.
Stay tuned - your childhood favorite could be next!Series
- Part 1 of Alastor The Cereal Killer
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Alastor The Cereal Killer SHORTS: Donut Hellhole Geometry by Teslapunk_Peryton
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
14 Mar 2026
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Summary
Alastor tapes insulting doodle-notes onto the cereal box for Lucifer's new favorite cereal, Apple Jacks Glazed Donut Holes, making fun of it for printing an incorrect math equation (for torus surface area) on the back of the box!
Oh the horror!
Oh the non-existent humanity!
What has Hell come to that we can't even count on the packaging for our breakfast cereal to feed us a diet free of misinformation anymore?!
I mean if you can't trust the back of a cereal box, then what can you trust?Two grown men have a pretentious ass argument over whether a donut or a donut hole has a greater glaze to dough ratio.
Series
- Part 4 of Alastor The Cereal Killer
Recent series
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Alastor The Cereal Killer by Teslapunk_Peryton
Fandom Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), Hellaverse | Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Universe, Kellogg's Rice Krispies "Snap Crackle & Pop" Commercials
16 Aug 2026
- Words:
- 117,895
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 8
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Hazbin Academy is the most prestigious school in Pentagram City.
Alastor isn't supposed to belong there.
Living in the slums, juggling multiple jobs, and trying to survive an abusive father leaves very little time for dreams of higher education.
So when rich idiots start paying him to do their homework, he takes the money and minds his own business.
Lucifer Morningstar has it all.
A group of very awesome friends, a stable family and a shit ton of money.
Oh, and of course he attends Hazbin Academy.
The world stands open for him.
Lucifer and Alastor were never supposed to meet.
Unfortunately for both of them, Lucifer is a nosy little shit.
Bookmarked by Teslapunk_Peryton
16 Jul 2026
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Summary
Rosie makes Alastor go to the dentist against his will, in his weakened post-battle state, promising cannibal treats and a fancy night out at the opera if he complies. The Vees find out and Vox, eager to see Alastor in pain, decides to spend the rest of the day spying on Alastor's appointment, getting a little too perversely excited to see the unruly patient bound and gagged with a dental dam getting various humiliating if not torturous procedures...