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When Bellamy is eleven, his mother dies, and he finds out his father was a prince, which makes him a prince too, albeit a bastard prince. And when he's twelve, his family decides he would be a good candidate for marriage to Princess Clarke of Arcadia. Princess Clarke thinks so too, but only because he agrees to come back in ten years and help her make sure the wedding never takes place.
It seems like a really good deal, when he's twelve.
Series
- Part 1 of Til My Eyes Go Blind
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
09 May 2023
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Harry, Hermione, and Ron decide on their own to be sorted into Slytherin in their first year. This is the story of how that changes everything.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 183,344
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Comments:
- 540
- Kudos:
- 3,435
- Bookmarks:
- 1,134
- Hits:
- 127,307
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
31 Mar 2023
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Summary
It goes like this:
“You have cunning”, the Hat says to Ron Weasley. “You want to be different from your siblings. So stand out.”
“You have ambition”, the Hat says to Hermione Granger. “You would thrive wherever I put you, but there is one house above all others that would sharpen your intellect.”
“You have power”, the Hat says to Harry Potter. “You need only to learn how to harness it.”
Words, as great thinkers seem to never tire of remarking, have a way of changing the world.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,721
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 15
- Kudos:
- 811
- Bookmarks:
- 126
- Hits:
- 5,194
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
06 Jan 2023
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Summary
It’s May 1979 and the Order has just apprehended a pair of mysterious wizards who look remarkably like a Potter and a Malfoy. Naturally, James Potter and Sirius Black are called in to identify the strangely familiar strangers and determine their backgrounds and loyalties.
(This would be a lot easier if their captives weren’t convinced everyone they talk to is dead. It would also be easier if they didn’t spend half their bloody time bickering.)
**
“Just ask them questions only they would know the answer to,” Malfoy suggests.
“There’s not a single thing that I know about either of them from the first war that any old Death Eater couldn’t find out.”
“How is that possible?” Malfoy huffs. “He’s your father!”
“Am I or am I not famously an orphan?” Potter snarls.
**
Русский перевод: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49365862/chapters/124574398
中文翻译: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49899721Series
- Part 1 of Still Preoccupied... With 1979
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,328
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 54
- Comments:
- 1,331
- Kudos:
- 46,160
- Bookmarks:
- 9,688
- Hits:
- 503,971
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
30 Dec 2022
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fruit loops in time (circle around me) by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
17 Jul 2021
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Summary
"This is Crabbe, and Goyle," the blonde boy says, pointing at the two boys next to him. "And I'm Malfoy, Draco Ma - "
Ron laughs, and Malfoy immediately bristles.
"Think my name's funny, do you?" Malfoy says, angrily. "No need to ask yours - "
"You're honestly so cute," Ron interrupts, yet again, shaking his head. "So tiny. And so angry, all the time. It's adorable."
Alternatively
Ron Weasley, Time Traveller Extraordinaire, is stuck in the same seven year Hogwarts Loop, repeating the same thing over and over again. Naturally, he's so done with everything.Series
- Part 4 of and several bad jokes later
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,101
- Chapters:
- 7/?
- Collections:
- 19
- Comments:
- 1,151
- Kudos:
- 11,582
- Bookmarks:
- 2,744
- Hits:
- 146,392
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
30 Dec 2022
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"Her name is...Hermione," Lucius pronounces the name very carefully, watching Voldemort as if for some reaction. He has none to offer. "She's in my son's year. And she claims to be your daughter."
Crack!AU where Lord Voldemort thinks Hermione Granger is his daughter.
Series
- Part 2 of and several bad jokes later
- Part 2 of all plates are cracked by mr nobody
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,757
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 31
- Comments:
- 784
- Kudos:
- 13,056
- Bookmarks:
- 3,522
- Hits:
- 146,746
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
30 Dec 2022
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Summary
act 1 scene 1 - ten teenagers are wandering in the woods, exact whereabouts unknown
[lily evans.exe has stopped working]Series
- Part 1 of and several bad jokes later
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,952
- Chapters:
- 1/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 34
- Kudos:
- 813
- Bookmarks:
- 85
- Hits:
- 7,779
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
30 Dec 2022
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Summary
Harry’s occlumency reveals his disturbing home life which sets off a chain reaction that cannot be undone. Snape finds himself begrudgingly caring about the bespectacled boy, Harry discovers what it's like to have adults who care, and Hermione finds herself becoming an accidental crime lord. Draco Malfoy is very much along for the ride, in all senses of the word.
A ridiculous blend of hilarity and tragedy, Another Mind Game is the multi-faceted fanfiction you didn't know you wanted but will absolutely adore.
Featuring a sassy Harry Potter, good friends, and a great deal of sarcasm.
There are also ridiculous endnotes if you make it far enough. (You can do it!)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,012
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 145
- Comments:
- 3,056
- Kudos:
- 43,480
- Bookmarks:
- 10,504
- Hits:
- 961,734
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
27 Dec 2022
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Stages of Hope by Kayly Silverstorm (Kayly_Silverstorm)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
28 Aug 2022
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Summary
“Your robes are…red,” Hermione finally said, strangely accusing.
“Burgundy!” Severus protested. Red was tacky. Burgundy, however, had class.
“And what did you do to your hair?” she asked in horrified fascination.
Snape’s hand rose to his scalp.
“Nothing! What is wrong with you? I just washed it and blow-dried it like every morning…”
“Ah, I see.” She nodded and stepped back. “Alternate dimension. It must be.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 87,149
- Chapters:
- 32/32
- Collections:
- 15
- Comments:
- 682
- Kudos:
- 4,238
- Bookmarks:
- 1,834
- Hits:
- 95,670
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
27 Dec 2022
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- Words:
- 5,416
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 52
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
03 Nov 2022
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Summary
Cassiopeia Black may prefer research to family politics, but she refuses to allow her family name to be ruined after the events of fall 1981. With the help of a routine obsessed house elf, Cassiopeia sets out to spin the Black family's largest PR nightmare in 100 years with a lot of old magic, some luck, and her Squib brother's family... the Grangers.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 227,064
- Chapters:
- 72/?
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,767
- Kudos:
- 4,810
- Bookmarks:
- 2,135
- Hits:
- 230,742
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
25 Oct 2022
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Summary
sender: [email protected]
recipient: [email protected]
subject: Today’s MeetingGranger –
Attached is the dry-cleaning bill for the shirt you ruined when you threw your tea at it. I’m not sure if you noticed, but I happened to be wearing the shirt at the time. You are lucky it was cold. Pay the bill and I won’t sue you for assault.
Regards,
Thomas Marvolo Riddle
CEO of Walpurgis Corporatesender: [email protected]
recipient: [email protected]
subject: re: Today’s MeetingRiddle –
I did notice, because unlike you, I can identify when something is being inhabited, you forest-destroying monster.
You do not require a dry cleaner to get herbal tea out of a shirt. The shirt was black, the tea was camomile, and you have no grounds on which to stand nor sue. Your company, however, WILL be exposed for the havoc it is wreaking upon our natural world.
Sincerely,
Hermione Jean Granger
CEO of Not being a Twat- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,774
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 267
- Kudos:
- 3,447
- Bookmarks:
- 746
- Hits:
- 34,277
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
22 Oct 2022
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Summary
Antonin Dolohov just wants to build some sort of relationship with Hermione Granger. Why is she so distant? Why won't she just talk to him like a normal person? These and other burning questions drive him to rather questionable behaviour.
This isn't to make light of real stalkers. It's just a Dolo-trope that I love and wanted to write in a silly way. Laugh at him. Cry with him. Clutch your sides. This wizard is blithely unaware that he does anything wrong.
Sadly we don't have all the pages of his diary. Perhaps he tore them out for one reason or another. Our imaginations will have to fill in the gaps! [Each chapter will include more than one entry.]
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
15 Oct 2022
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Summary
“That’s damn near impossible, even for me.” Blaise shook his head. “I think we’ve hit the bar. Is there anyone who would be more difficult to shag?”
His words were hanging in the air when Draco felt a magnificent plan spring fully formed into his mind. Could it work? He thought it could. A grin split his face and he said, “I know someone.”
“Who?” Theo demanded.
“Granger.”
“Oh fuck ME, I can’t believe we forgot her!” Theo was really slurring now. “She would never let any of us get within ten feet of her precious, pristine knickers. Not that I wouldn’t love to,” he leered. “But yeah. Impossible.”
“Impossible, you say?” Draco tilted his head to the side and regarded his extremely pissed friend. “Would you care to wager on that?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,311
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 35
- Comments:
- 617
- Kudos:
- 9,480
- Bookmarks:
- 2,206
- Hits:
- 153,215
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
22 Jul 2022
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Summary
Pansy Parkinson needed a drink.
And a shag.
She didn't care in which order.
Enter: Neville fucking Longbottom and his rolled up sleeves.Set in LovesBitca8's Rights and Wrongs AU.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,927
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 34
- Comments:
- 1,039
- Kudos:
- 10,364
- Bookmarks:
- 3,394
- Hits:
- 186,238
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
22 Jul 2022
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Then Comes a Mist and a Weeping Rain by Faith Wood (faithwood)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 Aug 2011
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Summary
It always rains for Draco Malfoy. Metaphorically. And literally. Ever since he had accidentally Conjured a cloud. A cloud that's ever so cross.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,139
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1,343
- Kudos:
- 79,504
- Bookmarks:
- 14,719
- Hits:
- 970,281
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
21 Jul 2022
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Summary
Draco Malfoy skips a quidditch match; Hermione Granger pelts her would-be boyfriend's head with a very sharp flock of canaries. If an exhausted, arrogant, in-over-his head Slytherin were to stumble across a furious, sobbing, long-overlooked Gryffindor - what do you suppose would happen then?
You deserve someone who wants you, you know.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,813
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 174
- Kudos:
- 2,983
- Bookmarks:
- 578
- Hits:
- 44,085
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
18 Jul 2022
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Summary
My submission for the Spring Challenge on Tomione Kink Meme (Tumblr). The prompt: AU where Hermione is pretty sure her new flatmate, Tom, is the serial killer/mass murderer who’s made the news everyday for the past months.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,444
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 76
- Kudos:
- 540
- Bookmarks:
- 121
- Hits:
- 10,707
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
18 Jul 2022
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Summary
"Would you like to learn it, then?" he asks, his dark eyes appraising her.
Professor Riddle makes Hermione Granger an offer she cannot refuse. And just like that, her life is about to change-irrevocably. part of LJ prompt series. Tomione.Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
18 Jul 2022
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Summary
Tom returns to the orphanage during the summer before his seventh year, to find that there is a new resident. An interesting and curious resident, with frizzy hair and no memory of her life before coming to Wool's do to a terrible attack. A resident who can perform magic, though she has forgotten how. No matter. He can teach her. One Shot.
Bookmarked by WalnutSpirit
13 Jul 2022