1 - 20 of 23 Works by alsaurus
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Eddie offers to be Buck's official head scratcher, shoulder massager, and general tactile needs provider. It's a really normal thing for friends to do. Surely.
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"I gave you a handjob and then I humped your leg with all my clothes still on. That's not docking."
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Ed and Stede's Very Successful Second Time by alsaurus
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
31 Oct 2023
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Ed wants the next time they make love to be perfect. Things do not go as planned.
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This is it.
It’s nighttime, they’re alone together, and they're no longer taking things slow. They've said the big words. They love each other.
Ed immediately grabs Stede by the shoulders and kisses him, hard and soft and with all the promise of all the things he wants them to do together.
This is the moment.
"I've been meaning to ask," Stede pulls away to say then. "What is a ‘handy’, actually?"
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Crowley and Aziraphale want to start doing more than kissing, so they make a plan to masturbate together. It's a great plan and Crowley is totally into it. Absolutely. Can't wait. He's just.. struggling with how forthcoming he should be about his previous experience, that's all.
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Ed wants Stede to bite him, but Stede misunderstands the assignment.
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Ed insists that Stede's tiny dick is the perfect size. Stede calls his bluff.
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- Part 2 of Little Wonder
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Ed is in love with Stede. Ed is also sharing a bedroom with Stede. This is fine! (Ed is 99% sure it’s fine, anyway.)
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After Stede comes back, Ed stays holed up in his cabin and spends a lot of time crying. And Stede spends a lot of time… jerking off, apparently? Ed doesn’t quite get it. But he’s eager to help Stede however he can.
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Stede can't pee until he does something about this pesky erection. Ed could just leave him to it, but where's the fun in that?
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Stede likes to masturbate by humping the bed. Ed likes to watch. He should probably let Stede know about that.
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Ed makes his bed by pretending to be a heavier sleeper than he really is, and now he has to lie in it (while Stede humps it).
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Stede has a small dick. Turns out Ed is actually into it. Like, really… really into it.
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- Part 1 of Little Wonder
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Ed is sick of waiting for Stede to touch him, so he takes matters into his own hands. It doesn’t quite go as planned.
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An Extremely Fun, Memorable, Deeply Cool Adventure by alsaurus
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
10 May 2022
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Edward might be the one with the experience, but Stede is the one with the imagination.
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Stede invents cocksucking. Ed is scandalized and intrigued.
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Jimmy never cared much about Valentine’s Day before, but this year is different. Very different.
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Jimmy is obsessed with Thomas' hands. Just his hands. Really.
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It’s Friday. This is the day. Today is the day that Jimmy is going to ask Thomas to marry him.
He has it all planned out. He’s got the ring, and… well, that’s it, really. He hasn’t thought much past that. But he knows that today is the day because the ring arrived yesterday, and why should he wait? It’s perfect timing. They have Fridays and Saturdays off, so if he proposes today they’ll have a beautiful, romantic weekend ahead of them as newly engaged people! So he has to do it today.
Who needs a plan, anyway? Jimmy is highly skilled at being adaptable. He’ll find the perfect opportunity.
spoiler: no he won’t.
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- Part 2 of Love and Friendship
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When Thomas made his way to the pub on a dreary half day afternoon, he was unaware that his life was about to change forever.
He’d only meant to distract himself from the six days that had passed since he last sent a letter to Jimmy. In the weeks since Jimmy left, they’d never gone that long without sending or receiving a letter from one another. And to Thomas’ surprise, their correspondence had become increasingly personal with each exchange. Though Jimmy was equally responsible for this progression in the intimacy of their friendship, Thomas still worried that he’d finally crossed the line and put Jimmy off for good.
In 1924, Thomas and Jimmy have only their correspondence and their memories of each other to sustain them. It's not enough, but it's all they can get. What if things were different? If they lived 100 years in the future, what else could they have?
Thomas is about to find out.
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- Part 1 of Love and Friendship
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On Valentine’s Day, someone sends Thomas a very ugly card.
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- Part 1 of Valentine 'Verse
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All Dean does nowadays is look for a way to get Cas out of the Empty, slowly self-destruct in his grief, and pray. He doesn’t know if Cas can hear him, but he prays to him every day just in case.
What if Cas starts talking back?