goldbergvariation



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    In the Last Year, 1718, the Seas Witnessed the Deaths of Two of the Worst Menaces to Sail. The Pirates Edward Teach, commonly Known as Blackbeard, and Stede Bonnet, also the Gentleman Pirate, once Captained Together before the ultimate Capture of Bonnet in October. By November, the dread Blackbeard was Killed in Battle; not a Month after, the Gentleman Pirate was Hanged for his Crimes at Charles Town. His Majesty the King ends this Curse of Piracy by Sending these Devils back to Hell.

    Or not.

    or: a retelling of the not-so-real deaths and eventual happy endings of stede bonnet and ed teach.

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    09 Apr 2022

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Stede waits until he can hear the loud stomps of strangers coming down the steps to the lower decks. Then he opens the tiny metal door in the wall and leans forward to press his mouth to the circular opening.

    “Who dares,” he coos, drawing out the vowels, “disturb my slumber?”

    Someone shouts. Others follow. The noises all carry and echo throughout the ship without an identifiable source and distort until they’re unrecognizable, wordless howls in the walls.

    “Get out!” Stede shouts. “Get out while you still can!”

    And then Black Pete begins to giggle, so Stede has to replace the cover and halt the operation entirely. “Really, Pete,” he hisses, “please be professional.”

    (A post-season one fix it, sort of, where Stede becomes the pirate captain he was always meant to be and Blackbeard isn't fond of having a rival.)

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    05 Apr 2022

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    “Hey. You're Lucius, right?” The voice sighed.
    “Someone else sound this charming?”
    “Lucius, you’re dead.”
    “Yeah. Yeah, I am dead. No thanks to you.”
    “I pushed you off the boat.”
    “Mmm - I was there. I know.”
    “Was there any pain?”

    Drunk and lonley and hiding in the auxiliry closet, Blackbeard has begun hearing voices. Well, a voice. He entertains it. Even tells it about some of the feelings he's been going through. What's the harm?
    And after all, he's got no one else to talk to.

    Language:
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    05 Apr 2022

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    “Gentlemen, please! Calm down! Nobody’s getting another go!” Stede says decisively, but excitement underlies his voice. He paces around in front of the group and smiles like he’s having the time of his life. “You know, I can’t believe none of you have ever done a pier jumping contest before. You’re all naturals!”

    Ed smiles to himself as he takes another swig. They’re pirates. They’re moderately successful, they’re occasionally bloodthirsty, and they’re all wanted criminals.

    And yet they’re all lining up to fling themselves into the sea, because their captain thought a group activity would be ‘good for morale’, and he’s surprisingly persuasive.

    There’s no way Stede should have been able to talk them into this. The crew have enough swords and pistols between them that the second the words, “Why don’t we have a contest, for a bit of a giggle?” left his lips, Stede should have been more full of holes than a particularly tattered fishing net.

    And yet, here they are, doing as he suggested and actually enjoying themselves in the process. It’s amazing.

    He’s amazing.

    Language:
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    03 Apr 2022

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    Stede's heard 'soft' before, heard it his whole life. His father spat it like an insult and his teachers murmured it like it was a condition and his peers said it like it was a joke.

    Ed doesn't say it like that, though. He says it like it's a compliment. He says it like it's something worth being.

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    01 Apr 2022