noodlefrog
Fandoms
Recent works
-
Too Sweet for Hell by noodlefrog for RosePetals9001
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
02 Jan 2026
Tags
Summary
Astarion is the one who gets to curl up with Wyll at night, and kiss him, and soak up all that princely romance that Wyll can’t help himself but spill on anyone who gets too close. In turn, Wyll gets to kiss Astarion on that cute little pointy face and help him feel like a person again. He also gets the pleasure of being the only one Fangs trusts enough to be sweet with.
If Karlach could trade places with either one of them, even for a night, she would. But they have each other, and that’s what counts. They’re her friends, and they’re happy together, so she’s happy for them. And they do love her. Just the fact that they’re here in hell with her is proof of that. She knows that much even when she’s moping about how they don’t love her like she loves them.
-
Sit, Stay, Roll Over by noodlefrog for RosePetals9001
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
31 Dec 2025
Tags
Summary
“I don’t… see how that will fix it,” Wyll admits.
“Because I know you.” Shadowheart says it like it is simple. Like this is a given. “When you find something to blame yourself over, you don’t stop worrying about it until someone either scolds you or forgives you.”
Sometimes, Wyll manages to forget that Shadowheart trained for decades in the art of prying secrets from people and discovering painful weaknesses to exploit.
Wyll seems to have accidentally trained Astarion to be sweet in exchange for snacks and praise… which, he’s sure, must be some kind of unforgivable breach of trust. Thankfully, some of his best friends know a thing or two about brainwashing. Who better than an ex-Sharran and an ex-Bhaalist to help him deprogram his fiance?
-
Tags
Summary
For all Mizora’s attempts to keep Wyll isolated and dependent on her, there is one thing she can never take from him: the Blade of Frontiers. In his head, Wyll rewrites his own story and tells himself tales of his ideal self. No pact binds the Blade, no stone eye sits in his socket, and he doesn’t have to thank a devil for the beard on his face or the depth of his voice. As he begins to unravel the mystery of Astarion’s easy charm and clumsy lies, Wyll even lets himself pretend that he could someday have a life beyond the hunt.
Mizora’s plans for Wyll go deeper than his pact, though. When she warps Wyll’s body into a shape of her own design, she also gives him a few gifts. Changes he has wanted for years are now permanently sculpted into his flesh with a fiendish twist, and Wyll can only ask himself… What would the Blade do?
Or: Wyll copes with his devil boner by writing fanfiction of his own alter ego, and Astarion tries out some high-stakes strategies for monster hunter seduction.
-
Tags
Summary
Through all the pain and the anger and the shame, there is some tiny part of Astarion’s brain that is weirdly thrilled to see Cazador fail. Oh, Astarion would cast the amulet off in an instant if he could. It’s pointless. Stupid. Completely unhelpful. Tacky. Dangerous to his health and safety, certainly. All the same, Cazador ordered Astarion to take it off, and Astarion refused. Sure, it wasn’t exactly an intentional refusal, and he got himself brutally tortured for it, but this has been the first time in two hundred years that he has managed to disobey a direct order.
Any glee Astarion might have been feeling about that evaporates when Cazador orders him to crawl back into the tomb.
Astarion finds himself in possession of a cursed amulet that he cannot take off, even by his master’s command. It’s only after he’s sealed away in the tomb for his disobedience that he realizes the damned thing can talk.
-
Tags
Summary
What few vampires Wyll has seen have all been wild spawn, and they had looked every bit like the monsters in his books. If Astarion had instead been kept in thrall, it is only natural that he does not know how to hunt for himself. Given how hungry he looks, Wyll has to assume that the poor man only ever subsisted on his master’s scraps.
It isn’t worth it to think too hard about why that makes Wyll as angry as it does. Not right now, not when there is work to be done.
Wyll has studied enough about vampiric physiology to be concerned by Astarion's pretty face. Healthy, well-fed vampire spawn look like monsters and are strong enough to tear apart their prey with ease. Not that Wyll is thinking about being torn apart, of course. He’s just happy to help Astarion get enough to eat.
Series
- Part 2 of Hunger and Want
Recent series
-
- Words:
- 24,555
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 9
-
- Words:
- 77,053
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 6
-
Summary
A Dark Urge/Astarion series featuring Tav, a ranger Durge who is interested in mitigating the risk of the Urge taking him over any way he can, even if some of those methods are not necessarily safe or sane. At current time of writing, he and Astarion are stumbling into a friends-with-benefits situation where one of the benefits is that it's harder to murder people in your sleep when you're experiencing mild-to-moderate blood loss.
Tone-wise, expect slice of life/slow-burn pacing and camp shenanigans, with plenty of The Power of Friendship to go around and a sprinkling of self-destructive behavior and some terrible coping strategies for spice. I put more specific content notes in the chapters that need extra explanation.
The first 2 stories are rated M for violence and discussion of past abuse. Later stories will mostly be rated E for explicit sexual content. Tav is transmasc, but that's less of a plot point and more of an anatomy situation and an excuse for me to play around with themes of identity, choice, and the horror of being in a body that doesn't always listen to you.
Each work can be read as a standalone piece without needing to read prior stories, but they do all fit together as one story.
- Words:
- 230,696
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 17
Recent bookmarks
-
crawling towards recovery by ushauz for not_whelmed_yet
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
16 Dec 2025
Tags
Summary
In which, as per canon, Astarion has undergone two centuries of starvation. Unlike canon, this greatly impacts his ability to do anything at all.
Bookmarked by noodlefrog
30 Dec 2025
-
Tags
Summary
"Do you have any idea what this is?" he'd asked, peering into the strange pit in the basement of the tower. It was about as wide and deep as the pool from a modestly-sized bathhouse, though that wasn't what had caught Wyll's eye about it.
"Ah yes," Gale said, with a twinkle in his eye that Wyll, at the time, mistook for academic curiosity. "The illecebrae flagellum. I think that's the Purple Majesty breed. Quite popular in the southern countries—designed in Athkatla, you know. I'm surprised to see it here! Normally in the Underdark you get more bioluminescent breeds like the Starstrand—"
"Right," Wyll said, politely. "Is it valuable? Dangerous?"
"Dangerous? No, not at all." Gale wiggled a finger over the lip of the pit. Wyll startled as one of the thin waving vines coiled around it. "The value is, ah. Subjective."
Wyll was saved from having to ask more questions by Astarion—appearing from nowhere, as was his wont—to put it in plain terms.
"It's a sex plant," Astarion said flatly.
Wyll and Astarion make a startling discovery in the basement of a dead wizard's tower.
Bookmarked by noodlefrog
12 Nov 2025
-
Tags
Summary
A vampire and a vampire hunter meet in a hotel room. What happens next will (probably not) shock you.
Bookmarked by noodlefrog
30 Oct 2025
-
Tags
Summary
Soulmates are little more than parasites. The only thing they share is pain through their bond. By all reason and common sense, Astarion should want his soulmate to die to spare himself that extra chunk of suffering, especially as Cazador grows only more possessive over Astarion having a bond with anyone else at all.
All Astarion can think though is this is one thing Cazador hasn't been able to take from him.
Bookmarked by noodlefrog
16 Oct 2025
-
Tags
Summary
There was a dead man on the midden heap; if not dead yet, soon.
It wasn’t hard to guess how he’d ended up there - the man looked the part of a devil. Such was the fate of monsters in the hands of civilization.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,798
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 36
- Kudos:
- 154
- Bookmarks:
- 25
- Hits:
- 622
Bookmarked by noodlefrog
13 Oct 2025