16 Bookmarks by roasted_zucchini
List of Bookmarks
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Bookmarked by roasted_zucchini
08 Feb 2026
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Summary
“You don’t even know what it is.”
“Yeah, nah, not a clue–”
“Honestly, Edward, I just can’t believe you would suggest something so horrible for our home. After everything I do to make it nice!”
He stares at Ed. Hands on his hips. Huffs, shifting the curl that hangs artfully over his forehead.
Ohhhh. Ed picks up what he’s putting down.
Homestore argument is so fucking on. Fuck yeah.
(or: Ed and Stede go out to buy a toaster, pretend to argue like a married couple and then have sex about it)
Series
- Part 2 of february 14th
Bookmarked by roasted_zucchini
15 Feb 2024
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Summary
Ed asked Stede out practically the moment they met. They had been dating a whole month.
Hadn't they?
Series
- Part 16 of Smutty Gentlebeard AU one shots
Bookmarked by roasted_zucchini
05 Feb 2024
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Summary
Ed’s used to visitors, though the novelty of his home has worn off in the last eighteen months or so, the uninvited guests becoming fewer and further between. He’s used to curiosity, and questions he rarely feels like answering. He’s used to people forgetting that this is, in fact, his home, and not some out of the way tourist attraction.
He’s used to strangers.
But he’s starting to think that perhaps, not all his visitors need to stay strangers.
or: Ed has a simple life. He has a self-built, off grid, mostly self-sustaining house tucked away in the middle of a forest. He has five chickens, and a partially feral cat. He lives alone, and he likes it that way. Until the appearance of an incredibly nosy, incredibly handsome stranger three weekends in a row has him questioning every self-imposed rule he's ever set himself.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,476
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 574
- Kudos:
- 1,164
- Bookmarks:
- 324
- Hits:
- 18,443
Bookmarked by roasted_zucchini
07 Dec 2023
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Summary
Ed's birthday is coming up, and he really wants his boyfriend to join him for dinner. The thing is he and Stede haven't been together that long, and he's nervous about asking.
Luckily, Ed's a brilliant tactician. He comes up with a plan to ask Stede without asking him and really impress him at the same time. What could possibly go wrong?
Bookmarked by roasted_zucchini
24 Nov 2023
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Summary
Edward was a little bit of a stuffy, old fashioned name. And Teach, well, that made Stede think of a professor. And however silly that kind of assumption may be, when he had spotted this man’s name in the listings, he’d pictured a bespectacled man in a cardigan, not… Well.
Written for the tumblr prompt "nanny/single parent au".
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,844
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 574
- Kudos:
- 1,735
- Bookmarks:
- 343
- Hits:
- 22,220
Bookmarked by roasted_zucchini
17 Nov 2023
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Summary
“I am not getting on that fucking horse.”
*
Ed gets on the fucking horse.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,385
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 225
- Kudos:
- 713
- Bookmarks:
- 127
- Hits:
- 3,582
Bookmarked by roasted_zucchini
04 Nov 2023
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Summary
just a lil post S2E5 ditty about whims and bells and, well,
Stede realizes dimly that Ed’s hands are moving ceaselessly on his head. The frenetic jangling is nonstop, and Stede thinks of folklore, the healing divinity of bells. Thinks of the bells chasing away spirits, storms, disasters, his own made of shame and fear, and Ed’s made of much darker stuff. He works harder because Ed needs him, because this is what he has to offer, his mouth and his heart and his resolve, his unmitigated determination to bring Ed back from the brink, bell ringing a symphony as Ed’s soul is called back screaming to life.
podfic available, with bonus bell sounds! right here. 🔔Bookmarked by roasted_zucchini
15 Oct 2023
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Summary
March, and Stede’s calling him for the first time in weeks.
Series
- Part 2 of scar-crossed lovers
Bookmarked by roasted_zucchini
15 Jul 2023
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Summary
Ed is a high-powered executive who hires Stede as an escort to pretend to be his partner to boost his image within his company.
Series
- Part 1 of Take Back Your Mink series
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Summary
OR "5 Times Ed Gave Louis Advice, + 1 Time Louis Gave Advice to Everyone Else"
A fic with snippets from Ed and Louis' relationship over the course of 10 years.
Series
- Part 1 of Teach Marina
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Summary
The thing is, he can see the way Jack is looking at Stede. Recognizes the lecherous hunger in his gaze. And sure, it makes him a little uncomfortable, in some way he can’t really explain. A kind of prickling under his skin. But he’s resigned himself to that being another thing he has to apologize to Stede for, when…
Stede laughs at one of Jack’s jokes.
It’s not even a particularly funny joke. Something about three drunk men and a roast chicken. The rest of the crew is chuckling along, caught up in the rum and the strange spell of idiocy that Jack seems to cast on everyone around him (including, right up until this moment, Ed). But Stede actually, properly laughs, a delighted peal that only ever bursts out of him when Ed has said something Stede thinks is especially funny. He loves that laugh, feels proud of himself every time he hears it.
He doesn’t love it now.
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“Give me a reason not to carve your heart out,” Ed whispers.
And Stede can’t think of one.
He can think of plenty of reasons he doesn’t want his heart carved out, but how could he expect any of them to matter to Ed?
“Stede.” Ed’s voice breaks, dragging Stede’s eyes back up from where they’ve been staring at the floor in shame. “Please.”
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“The fuck?” Ed manages, instantly getting his foot stuck in a nearby bucket.
“Sh-shh!” Stede pushes two fingers against his lips to shut him up.
Ed goes still and a bit cross-eyed, staring down at the hand on his mouth. Stede moves it away, with a mouthed “sorry!” focusing intently on the sounds outside the shed instead.
In the alley, hurried steps and shouting voices rush past; they catch fragments of: “Where the fuck did they go then?” or “Keep looking!” and even “The short one looks like a bloody birthday cake, how do you lose that—”
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Summary
Ed Teach is a brilliant engineer whose job is taking him halfway around the world for the next six months. Stede Bonnet is in the throes of a midlife crisis, just divorced from his wife and leaving his father's business. When a laundry delivery service mixes up their addresses and leads to a passionate night together, these two wonder if they can build a relationship together long-distance, or if their feelings for each other will come out in the wash.