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"You fucking rodeo clown American prick!" Jamie shouts. "This is bullshit!"
He crosses the room and kicks Ted's suitcases, which tumble over like dominoes. Ted glances over and seems startled, but not all that scared.
"Well, heck," he laughs. "I'm starting to think there might be a ghost in here."
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jamie tartt is dead. ted lasso lives in a haunted flat.
it turns out that caring a little can go a long way.
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That very first time, in that grimy alley in Liverpool, he'd wondered whether he was having a heart attack. He hadn't known what to call the feeling, not until Rebecca had labeled it as she tried to ground him. Ted is much more informed about this stuff now, but…something about this doesn't feel right.
or, since returning from a shortened stay in Kansas, Ted has been successfully hiding his deteriorating mental health from Beard and Rebecca–until a late night visit to A&E throws them all into disarray.
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What’s really a problem is this: Ted Lasso has never lied to Trent before.
He’s been evasive and circuitous. He’s been silly and distracting. He’s been tangential and vague. But he has never outright lied—a rare thing, a precious thing. Something Trent has begun to look forward to, to desire as something unique in the sordid little corner of the world he’s chosen to ply his pen.
So standing in the Crown & Anchor and realizing that Ted Lasso is lying is—new, and terrible, and strangely devastating in a personally subjective way he will not examine at this moment.
(Trent Crimm examines the lie and eventually gets the truth.)
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Trent Crimm is very confused about how his daughter is in his flat when she's supposed to be at her mother's.
Ted Lasso is very confused about who Trent's daughter is, and why she's a teenager instead of a toddler.
Emily Crimm is very confused about why there's a strange American man making pancakes in her father's kitchen.
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“Hello? Yes, this is Trent Crimm, The Independent. I’ve got a bit of an emergency and need Coach Lasso’s mobile.” Trent paused, brow furrowing in irritation. “Well, his son is currently standing in my office, in my newspaper building, which is filled with bloodthirsty journos. Could you make an exception for that?"
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Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth by trentcrimminallybeautiful (biDEMONium)
Fandoms: Ted Lasso (TV)
19 May 2023
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In the locker room, Coach Lasso kisses their resident emotional support biographer, casual-as-you-please, and then leaves like nothing happened.
Chaos ensues and the entirety of the club somehow gets involved. Trent wishes for the sweet release of death.
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The sight is so bizarre, so out of place that for a minute, Roy’s not sure what he’s looking at. Trent (Crimm, the Independent) looks just as shocked as Roy feels. He’s wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, stupid hair ridiculously mussed, and he’s holding a mug of steaming coffee.
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“Well,” Trent said, and smiled self-deprecatingly. “He accused me of having an affair.”
“Oh come on now. That’s bull shit.” Now Ted was angry; you could tell because he dragged the word bullshit out into two long pulls, like a mouthful of licorice. “Who the hell would you be having an affair with?”
“Ah.” Trent kept the smile in place. “Well, that’s the part you won’t believe.”
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Ted Lasso: Schrodinger's Witch.
Or, the one where AFC Richmond are leading the Premier League table, and Trent Crimm and the rest of the British press are slowly losing their minds as a result.
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A Cruelty Vivid and Sweet by galaxiasgreen
Fandoms: Hogwarts Legacy (Video Game), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Mar 2025
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"Never before had he really met a Muggle-born. He had no idea how naïve they were. How unprepared. Certainly, his family said they, and Muggles in general, were inferior, stupid, barely worthy to be at Hogwarts. Barely worth existing. But you weren't any of those things.
You were just afraid."
In which, against the wishes of his staunchly pure-blood supremacist family, Ominis Gaunt befriends you, a naive Muggle-born Hufflepuff, and his life inexplicably changes.
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Or, what happens when a pure-blood from an anti-Muggle family falls in love with a Muggle-born?
[An adaptation from Ominis’ POV that expands his role in the main questlines and beyond, and parallels his life story with relevant flashbacks. Slow burn Ominis/ReaderOC with Sebastian/MC.]
Series
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“What is the Cruciatus Curse?”
“It’s torture.” Ominis spits, “it’s Unforgivable. It causes pain beyond anything you could possibly imagine.”
“I loathe to ask, Ominis, but you have the most experience with—”
“No!” Ominis snaps again, his hand shaking as he hold his wand out. His voice filled with such anger and terror. “I will never—that you, of all people could ever ask me to do such a thing—”
Series
- Part 1 of Dark Hearts, Bright Wings
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The Weight of Guilt and the Pain of Rot by TallSpecter
Fandoms: Hogwarts Legacy (Video Game)
26 Dec 2023
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"The holidays weren’t even something you were thinking about until Poppy offhandedly mentioned returning to her gran’s house for Christmas.
Then again, there wasn’t much you were thinking about as you tried to go through the motions while feeling as though there was a hole in your chest. A wound that was festering with guilt and grief in a way that you are sure only Sebastian could possibly begin to understand if he had the energy to try."
A one-shot about what Christmas alone at the castle would be like directly after the events of the game, with our favorite potions professor being the only one to notice the struggle of being the Hero of Hogwarts.
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“Anyway, I had been thinking… What with you having to dance the first dance of the Yule Ball—”
“Don’t remind me...” You grumble.
“—With you having to dance the first dance—” Sebastian repeats, firmer, because he can be a right git like that sometimes. “I can only imagine you’re going to want to make sure you get it just right, just like the competition itself, am I right?”
“...I guess…” You agree, unsure as to where he’s going with all this.
“Great. Because quite frankly, I’d rather not make a fool of myself at this dance either. And well, let’s face it, Professor Weasley’s dance lessons weren’t exactly all that enlightening. Hence, the proposition—” Sebastian holds his arms out wide. “Dance Practice.”
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Hogwarts has been chosen to host the Triwizard Tournament, and you just so happen to be chosen as Hogwarts' Champion. This also happens to mean that you will be the one to open the first dance for the Yule Ball. Problem being, your dancing skills are... not quite up to code. So it's a good thing Sebastian has jumped in to offer up some dance practice for the two of you before the big day...
Right?
Series
- Part 1 of Hogwarts Legacy Fics
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it’s 1AM when langdon brings mel into the ER
or: a sex injury melangdon fic from abbot’s pov
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Robby
Hey
Will you please stop
Stop using the emergency department's twitter account to talk to ur girlfriend
Frank
But she’s not replying to my textsSeries
- Part 2 of the triple-letter files
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just to see how many times that we can before we get caught by judypoovey
Fandoms: The Pitt (TV)
09 Apr 2025
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"It's not a thing. Occasional…casual…" Why was he justifying himself to his 17-year-old not-kid? He took a breath. "A month? We're not dating or anything. And it's completely top secret. You can't tell anyone. Not your mom, not Langdon, especially not Nurse Dana."
Jake swallowed, eyes fixed on Jack as he finally walked into the kitchen, moving to make coffee, the picture of at-ease, as if they were well-established and not freaking the kid out. "Right. Your secret situationship is safe with me," he agreed.
"What's a situationship?" Jack asked, looking over his shoulder.
"I -- maybe you should get one of the kids at work to explain it," he said, going red again, sinking down in the seat as if the kitchen table itself might swallow him.
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Yolanda
Does your middle name start with M
Because Frank M. Langdon
Sounds a lot like F.M.L. to me
Frank
I literally just got divorcedSeries
- Part 1 of the triple-letter files
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Winner of my heart by letsdancestarlight for nothingjusthappens
Fandoms: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
20 Nov 2023
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#30 Item Name: A romantic dinner date with Choi Soobin
Soobin chokes. “What?!” He rereads the item name again to make sure he’s not hallucinating. He looks up at Beomgyu and points to his name. “What the hell is this?!”
Beomgyu laughs evilly, like he was waiting to see his reaction when he reached the end of the list. “That was my idea. That’s definitely gonna bring in the big bucks.” His face is smug as he makes the money gesture with his hands. “Call me cupid. Maybe you’ll meet your future boyfriend this way.”
“No! What?!” Soobin shouts, his heart racing in his chest as panic starts to bubble up. “I already have a boyfriend!”
OR
Soobin is not too thrilled about Beomgyu signing him up to be auctioned off for a date (and he's sure his boyfriend won't be too thrilled either)
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There was a tinkling sound. The bell above the front door signaled the entrance of a customer.
Taehyun paused. Kai looked over curiously, too, and Yeonjun turned around. There was a man standing awkwardly in the doorway, in a poorly-pressed suit and scuffed shoes. Yeonjun’s mouth fell open.
“Um… Hello? I saw the sign outside. Nude psychic readings and… tax advice? I was hoping for… um, the tax help.”
“They’re a package deal,” Yeonjun blurted. “I do the psychic reading and then give advice on the– uh, tax stuff.” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Taehyun mouthing no at him repeatedly and emphatically.
"O-oh. Okay."
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How to Date the Batman by solomonara
Fandoms: DCU, Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
04 Nov 2017
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Someone spots the Batman kissing Mild Mannered Reporter Clark Kent. Hijinks ensue.
Series
- Part 1 of How to Date a Superhero