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    Six months ago, Shane’s intimate conversation and break-up with Rose Landry was recorded and leaked. In those six months, his life had completely upended and everything had changed, for better or for worse. Except for Ilya. He still has Ilya, and he’s beginning to understand that he always will.

    It’s 2018. Shane Hollander has to figure out his new life, in a new city, on a new team, while being out to the world but not by his own choice. Ilya, along for the ride, also has to learn what it means to be connected to a place, to a person, and to his own inner truth.

    (Sequel to “something you can fix,” set post-Heated Rivalry, pre-The Long Game)

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    13/13
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    24 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “I do not have the words,” Ilya murmurs, lowering his head so that their foreheads are nearly brushing. “You have taken them straight from the center of me, moy lyubimyj. It would—I would not be myself if I did not have love for you strung through my soul.” His mouth curves up, even as Shane's face blurs through the tears. “You are my greatest—” He shakes his head, his hands drifting up, clad in the matching mittens of Shane. “If there is something that I was born to do, sweetheart, it was to love you.”

    “Ilya,” Shane breathes out, a wretched, tenderhearted expression on his face. He looks as though Ilya has torn at the core of him, has unwound some great secret and pulled it into the light. He looks as though he is love made flesh, beautiful and mutable and ruinous.

    You said my name and offered your hand, Ilya thinks, and oh, how many years have they bled for this honesty, for this peace, and I was lost.

    OR: Of all the aftermaths Ilya had imagined, he was never so greedy as to hope for this.

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    1/1
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    23 Mar 2026

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    "Why are you not scared?"

    "I am scared," Ilya admits. "I just am tired. Of hiding me. Of hiding you. Of hiding how much I love you. I want to go to the rink— how do you say it? Authenti."

    "Authentically," Shane supplies, automatically.

    "Yes. Authentically. I want to go to the rink authentically, as me," Ilya confirms.

    Ilya looks at Shane, pauses until Shane meets his eyes. "I want to say: I, Ilya Rozanov, love a man, and that man's name is Shane Hollander."

     

    -

    Or, sometimes it takes a little more time, and some courage, to be with the one you love.

    Language:
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    22 Mar 2026

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    Ilya glances at Shane, at the way the dying light is catching in his hair, refracting. At that spiderlily mouth, slightly open and curling coyly, two teeth peeked through the dark gap like an American Girl doll. At that shoulder, bare and pale and close enough to touch if Ilya just leaned forward, if he just reached out and took another liberty.

    To touch another person is to say: I know you will die, and I am doing this anyway.

    His mother used to say something like this. About painting.

    Every portrait is an act of faith, Ilyushenka. Faith and futility both.

    contrary to personal preference, ilya gets a roommate.

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    1/1
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    20 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed. 

    Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.

    Reentry is harder than expected.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,174
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    14 Mar 2026