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Things Worth Knowing by Femme (femmequixotic), noeon (noe) for shiftylinguini
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 Dec 2017
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Summary
After the Battle, Harry thinks he's left Hogwarts for good, but Minerva insists that all students return for an Eighth Year if they wish to sit for NEWTs in the spring, and Harry needs those NEWTs to go into the Aurors. Draco's just grateful not to be in Azkaban. Or the Manor. He's hoping he can steer clear of Potter this year and grapple with his own problems. Unfortunately for him, Potter appears to be one of those problems. And that's not even addressing the fact that Potter's got serious issues of his own, which Draco realises as he's forced to share an Eighth Year dormitory room and several classes with the Gryffindor Git. If only they can make it through the year without killing each other, it should be all right, shouldn't it?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 164,523
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 1,302
- Kudos:
- 15,519
- Bookmarks:
- 5,046
- Hits:
- 476,561
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
14 Oct 2025
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- Words:
- 325,201
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
03 Oct 2025
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Summary
A process is recursive when it defines or contains itself; e.g., the Fibonacci sequence, which determines the next number as the sum of the previous two.
But not all recursive processes are mathematical. Recursion can happen in a temporal context when, for instance, the powerful magical force that is true love drags you back in time so it can create itself, endangering the fate of the Wizarding World—not to mention the very fabric of space and time—along the way.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 132,526
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 2,472
- Kudos:
- 15,858
- Bookmarks:
- 5,382
- Hits:
- 375,703
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
25 Sep 2025
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Summary
The war was over.
Or at least that’s what the papers said.
They’d been saying it, for months, as if people needed reminding.
Maybe they did.
***
In which Harry and Draco both run away from their pasts and conveniently choose to hide in the same tiny American town.
It's super.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,767
- Chapters:
- 29/29
- Collections:
- 44
- Comments:
- 4,377
- Kudos:
- 25,824
- Bookmarks:
- 8,947
- Hits:
- 724,339
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
20 Sep 2025
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Summary
One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.
Series
- Part 1 of Turn!verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 306,708
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 2,460
- Kudos:
- 21,013
- Bookmarks:
- 9,128
- Hits:
- 1,115,389
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
16 Sep 2025
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Summary
As the title says, a place for my longer Doctor Who prompt fics from Tumblr. Tags and warnings will be updated as necessary.
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
08 Sep 2025
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Summary
Sometimes a witch or wizards magical signature is so completely incompatible with another that they repel one another like magnets. On the other hand, if two magical signatures mesh well together, well there are no stronger relationships in all the world. In a sample of a thousand people, the average witch or wizard will be slightly repelled by four or five people and strongly repelled by only one, at the most. The opposite is true for attraction.
But Harry Potter can't kiss anyone at all.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,320
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 743
- Kudos:
- 21,044
- Bookmarks:
- 3,250
- Hits:
- 197,407
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
26 Aug 2025
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Summary
They say that everybody who gets out of Azkaban comes out a little mad. After the war, Draco Malfoy spends three months in Azkaban. He just wants to go insane in peace, but Harry Potter finds that he, inexplicably, still can't leave Draco alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,608
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 358
- Kudos:
- 17,132
- Bookmarks:
- 3,467
- Hits:
- 162,081
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
26 Aug 2025
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Don’t mind if I keep your tie (And your heart, babe) by Ingi
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
05 Sep 2015
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Summary
The Eighth year common room has a parrot in it, courtesy of McGonagall and her mad search for interhouse bonding.
Most of the time, it's just there, until one day it repeats "Potter has a damn fine arse." And the Slytherins know exactly who the parrot's mimicking...
Draco is not amused.
Series
- Part 1 of Author's Favorites
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,363
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 240
- Kudos:
- 18,034
- Bookmarks:
- 3,483
- Hits:
- 226,009
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
26 Aug 2025
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Summary
When he wasn’t wearing it, he got jumpy, always waiting for someone to come at him wanting something—and now they did it even more urgently, if they ever saw him, because most of the time, nobody did.
Series
- Part 4 of Harry Potter works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,885
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 318
- Kudos:
- 21,817
- Bookmarks:
- 3,534
- Hits:
- 219,858
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
24 Aug 2025
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Summary
Draco snorted. “I’m not reduced to penury. I want something considerably beyond money, and I rather think you’re the only one can give it to me.”
“You want the Invisibility Cloak,” Harry said, flatly. He’d half expected as much; it was the only thing he had that Draco could want—
“Don’t be stupid, Potter,” Draco said. “I want my reputation back.”
Series
- Part 2 of Harry Potter works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,363
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 661
- Kudos:
- 26,550
- Bookmarks:
- 5,636
- Hits:
- 412,593
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
15 Aug 2025
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Summary
When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter.
Features fuzzy cartoon slippers, devious house elves, 90s music, and lots—LOTS—of memories. Ron is annoyingly hot, Hermione sees right through you, Harry is a powerful idiot, and Draco is a reclusive masochist that would buy an entire city if it would make a kid happy. (And Pansy is "5'2, I wanna dance with you, and I'm sophisticated fun.")
Series
- Part 1 of The Ordeal of Being Known
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 146,637
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 2,373
- Kudos:
- 25,143
- Bookmarks:
- 9,203
- Hits:
- 826,354
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
10 Aug 2025
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Draco Malfoy and the Path to Paradise by sobsicles
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Jan 2021
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Summary
Draco has been trapped in life so long that freedom always feels just out of reach. With the help of Harry and so many others, he learns how to get a grasp on it and never let it go.
Featuring the pride of Slytherins, the complexities of Fathers, the weight of a name, and loving the biggest idiot in the world.
~~~
Or, the one where Draco's life hasn't gone as planned for anyone, but maybe that's not such a bad thing. After all, life is full of surprises.
Series
- Part 2 of Absence of Simplicity
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 124,818
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 533
- Kudos:
- 5,134
- Bookmarks:
- 1,014
- Hits:
- 114,074
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
05 Aug 2025
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Harry Potter and the Welcome to the World of Grey by sobsicles
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
17 Dec 2020
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Summary
When Harry fails to keep his anger at bay and Voldemort possesses his mind, the events that follow lead him down a long road to realizing the world isn't as black and white as it seems.
Chaos, hilarity, and tragedy ensue with a Dark Lord being honest all the time, a rival becoming something else, and a world demanding to be saved. Featuring frightened Death Eaters, deep conversations with a monster, Pureblood traditions being ridiculous, and the fight to do the right thing with no true options.
Harry's life just gets more and more bizarre with each passing moment.
~~~
Or, the one where Harry's life gets split in half, and he has to figure out how to bring it back together.
Series
- Part 1 of Absence of Simplicity
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 456,640
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 60
- Comments:
- 5,002
- Kudos:
- 27,292
- Bookmarks:
- 9,186
- Hits:
- 1,464,479
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
05 Aug 2025
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Summary
His house liked Draco Malfoy more than him.
Series
- Part 3 of Harry Potter works
- Part 11 of Astolat Sampler
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,111
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 1,364
- Kudos:
- 34,208
- Bookmarks:
- 10,663
- Hits:
- 506,912
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
02 Aug 2025
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What We Pretend We Can't See by gyzym for shecrows
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
20 Feb 2017
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Summary
Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 131,086
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 3,484
- Kudos:
- 36,072
- Bookmarks:
- 13,880
- Hits:
- 914,965
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
31 Jul 2025
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Written on the Heart by who_la_hoop for noeon (noe)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 Dec 2016
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Summary
Harry doesn’t mind that so many Slytherins from his year have returned to finish their NEWTs, really he doesn’t. It’s just – do they have to be so friendly? He’s not prejudiced, really he’s not. It’s just – they’ve got to be up to something, right? Unnerved by the attention he’s attracting from everyone – the Slytherins are the least of it, to be fair – and struggling with a raft of changes to Hogwarts itself, Harry wishes he could be happy that one constant remains: Draco Malfoy really fucking hates him.
When he’s hit by an illegal love-spell though, Harry finds he has more to worry about than whether or not Blaise Zabini actually wants to be his friend. For if everyone affected has been blessed – or cursed, by the look on Malfoy’s face – with a magical tattoo revealing the name of their soulmate, what does it mean that Harry’s skin remains completely bare?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 113,984
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2,439
- Kudos:
- 39,958
- Bookmarks:
- 9,418
- Hits:
- 745,386
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
26 Jul 2025
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Summary
This is a summery romantic comedy featuring my favourite ensemble cast, in which Harry is confused, Draco is Draco, and Hermione attempts to eat all the things.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,256
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 216
- Kudos:
- 5,288
- Bookmarks:
- 1,302
- Hits:
- 90,771
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
22 Jul 2025
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Summary
In which Harry is bold, Draco is scientific, and not a lot of work gets done. A story about hot drinks, Florida and office politics.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,242
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 196
- Kudos:
- 2,006
- Bookmarks:
- 312
- Hits:
- 20,472
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
22 Jul 2025
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Summary
When the war isn’t quite as over as it first appears, a guilt-ridden Harry is sent to a mysterious safe-house. Among sandwiches, insomnia, and Mills & Boon, he discovers something quite unexpected. [Smoochfest 2012]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,549
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 601
- Kudos:
- 15,943
- Bookmarks:
- 4,590
- Hits:
- 254,888
Bookmarked by talk2meGoose
21 Jul 2025