veryberrybad
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Summary
The closest Alastor's ever gotten to romance comes in the form of—in order of increasing hilariousness—a couple of botched youthful attempts at kissing, cheap mass-produced smut comics, and the wildly entertaining tales of other people's sordid affairs.
He's never wanted sex. He's never wanted love. He's never seen a problem with this.
It's taken about a century, but he's pleasantly surprised to discover that the rest of the world is finally starting to catch up with his perspective.
More than anything else, he’s pleased that these new modern attitudes have given him extra opportunities for bad puns.
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- English
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Bookmarked by veryberrybad
27 May 2024
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Charlie thinks that the hotel's guest and staff could benefit from having a little more music in their afterlives. Alastor is ecstatic to have the opportunity to expand the array of instruments he can play.
And then he discovers the most awful, wonderful, baffling instrument he's ever seen.
Series
- Part 6 of Alastor Week
Bookmarked by veryberrybad
27 May 2024
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Summary
Alastor hadn't done his nightly prayers since he'd died. He didn't see much of a point in it, considering that he was already damned. But tonight, for the first time in at least twenty years, he knelt by a bed and prepared to make a fool of himself.
"I'm sure you all up there aren't supposed to offer favors to those of us down here—but don't think of it as a favor for me, it's a favor for my mother. Could you let her hear her poor sinner of a son again? Can you patch me through to her?"
He looked hopefully toward Heaven. Heaven, cold and white, stared back indifferently.
"It's her birthday tomorrow," Alastor added.
Series
- Part 1 of Alastor Week 2021
Bookmarked by veryberrybad
27 May 2024
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Summary
Alastor decides that Charlie and Vaggie are too stressed out over the hotel, and need a day off to unwind!
And he'll choose their activities!
Don't worry—a cruel, sadistic, serial killing cannibal probably has great ideas about what will help people relax.
Series
- Part 4 of Alastor Week 2021
Bookmarked by veryberrybad
27 May 2024
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Summary
Vox is desperately trying to figure out the exact nature of the apparent secret alliance between the Radio Demon and Sir Pentious.
Velvet is casually documenting Vox's slow descent into madness.
Valentino just wants to know why nobody's considering the possibility that they're banging.
Bookmarked by veryberrybad
27 May 2024