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All Sole could hear was the frantic ticking of her Geiger counter. She waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, then looked around the room. The dim, yellow haze of a half-dozen glowing containers illuminated the space. Circular designs painted every wall. She recognized the patterns from those sported by the Children of Atom, but she had never seen a den like this so far from the Crater. She dug through her bag until she found her Rad-X, but the bottle was empty.
The hell kind of place is this? she thought.
Gunshots rang out on the other side of the door. The sound jolted her from her thoughts, and she began searching about the stark room for the holotape she came to find. She would be fine, she told herself—but only if she hurried.
The room was sparsely furnished, with only a bed on one side and a desk on the other. She went to the desk and started looking through the drawers. More shots split the air; they were getting closer. Sole yanked the drawers out and let the contents litter the floor. They seemed to contain an endless number of journals and papers, but no holotape.
She looked up and huffed in frustration. Then one of the illustrations on the wall caught her eye. Something about the design held her attention. No, she realized, it wasn’t the design, it was the ink; it glimmered with an eerie phosphorescence.
The color reminded her of Nick’s eyes, though she much preferred their soft light over the sickly glow. Ever since her botched attempt at making her affections known, she had been too embarrassed to look him in the eye. She missed it. She leaned on the desk, sinking to her elbows. Nick’s eyes danced in her mind. Their color, their shape, the way she couldn’t breathe when he looked at her—
She realized then that she was not breathing. She bolted upright, gasping for air. Something was very wrong, though she could not say what. It was as if every part of her body cried out in alarm. Her instincts told her to get out of that place. But she couldn’t leave yet. Not without the holotape.
She turned her attention to the bed, checking under the mattress and on the dirt floor beneath. She felt about in the shadows for a patch of earth that might have been recently disturbed, but found nothing. She tore the sheets from the bed, but still there was nothing. Her heart raced. In a moment of desperation, she lifted the pillow. The holotape lay underneath.
She stuffed it in her pocket, then leaned on the bed and laughed. Her geiger counter laughed with her. Of course the tape was there—where else would it be?
She got to her feet. A sudden, hollow feeling in her gut threatened to knock her off balance, but she steadied herself, readied her laser rifle, and dashed out the door.
The daylight blinded her. It hurt more than the light in the den; part of her wanted to go back inside. She blinked the pain away and ran up the hill that formed the roof of the structure.
Nick stood on the buckled remains of a road, gun pointed at a shambling figure that approached him. He pulled the trigger—a deafening shot rang out—and the feral ghoul dropped dead. When Sole looked around, she saw that several others lay strewn upon the road. He turned to her.
“Did you get it?” he said.
“Got it. Thanks for covering me.”
“No problem. Let’s hit the road; I hate sticking around where there’s been a scuffle.”
She slung the laser rifle across her back.
“You got it.”
They started off at a brisk pace. But Sole’s mind was filled with circles—the circles on the wall, the ones in Nick’s eyes, the giant one above her. They turned about her, and her stomach turned with them. She stopped in her tracks. Her head whirled, but it could not keep pace with the circles.
“Something interesting on the pavement?” Nick said.
She hadn’t realized that she had been staring at the ground. She looked up. Her stomach roiled at the movement.
“Sorry, I guess I got a little turned around,” she said, then added, “Would you excuse me for a moment?”
She ducked behind a tree, where her stomach promptly rejected its contents. She straightened, wiped the bile from her mouth, and returned to the road with as much composure as she could manage.
“Well, it’s good to see you too,” he said. “What’s the matter, did you eat some questionable pre-war leftovers again?”
But Sole was not paying attention; she was distracted by the circles in his eyes. Her heart raced, but it was not because of him. It had never stopped racing from before. She broke the trance and shook her head. She rubbed her brow.
“The rads in that room...” she muttered.
“Rads? What the hell was in there?”
“Just a bed and a desk.”
“And what else?”
“Nothing much.”
“You lie like a rug.”
“Okay, okay. It was some kind of… I don’t know, a hermitage. Children of Atom stuff everywhere.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me? I could have gone in instead.”
“It’s fine, I was quick.”
“Tell me you took some medication at least.”
Sole shrugged and looked away. Nick took her arm and caught her eye.
“You did, didn’t you?” he asked, his voice urgent.
She wanted to assure him that she was fine, but she couldn’t lie to him when he looked at her like that.
“Took the last pill when we got rid of that Glowing One the other day.”
He gave her a disapproving look.
“You know, for someone who gives me so much grief for not taking care of myself, you sure don’t set a very good example,” he said.
“What was I supposed to say? ‘Nicky, dear, when you’re done disposing of those ghouls, would you be so kind as to fetch a holotape from that radioactive cave? I would do it myself, but I’m very busy plucking the petals off this hubflower.’”
“You must be feeling better to run your mouth like that.”
“I’ll be at my best when we put some distance between us and that place. It really gave me the creeps.”
She started down the road again, and Nick followed. After a time she realized that the circles had followed, too. They drifted above her in the glint of sunlight through the bare tree branches, fleeing each time she tried to look directly at them, returning to the corners of her eyes when she looked away. She flicked her eyes back and forth, trying to catch them. She grew dizzy with the effort. Her limbs grew heavy. Her stomach threatened another upheaval. She tried to catch her breath, but her Vault suit was too tight around her ribs. She stopped and fumbled at the zipper. Nick stopped beside her.
“What’s going on with you?” he said.
“I think I took that hill a little too fast,” she said between gasps.
“Maybe you should take it easy.”
“No, I want to keep going. I’ll be fine in a minute.”
“If you insist. But I’m going to help you at least.”
He took the gun from her back and slung it across his own, then pulled her arm over his shoulders to steady her. But his touch made her feel worse than the damned circles that wouldn’t leave her alone. She pulled away from him. The movement threw her off balance, and she stumbled to her knees. She ached for a good breath of air. She tugged at her Vault suit, trying to loosen it around her middle.
Nick knelt down, holding her by the shoulders. Though the contact twisted her stomach, she was grateful for it. She knew that she would be flat on the ground were it not for him. She wrapped her arm around his leg and leaned against his knee. That was enough. Her nausea overcame her again, this time producing only a dry heave.
She coughed and cleared her throat.
“God, Nick, I’m sorry you had to see me like this,” she groaned.
He took the canteen from her bag and handed it to her.
“Here, it’ll help to get that taste out of your mouth.”
She rinsed and spat, then took a long drink. Her breath began to return.
“I must disgust you,” she said.
“Trust me, this is nothing new,” he said, “Old Nick drank a little too much sometimes, and the results weren’t pretty.”
Sole almost laughed. The thought of Nick with a hangover—it seemed so unlikely. Thinking about it made her head start to spin again. She rolled onto her back and let her head fall into the crook of his arm.
“You’re cute,” she said.
“And you must be sicker than I thought. Let’s get you out of here. Can you walk?”
Sole nodded. He helped her to her feet. A sudden wave of fatigue swept over her, bearing her down and causing her knees to buckle. She clinged to his arm. From the corner of her eye, she saw Nick regarding her with a worried look.
“I’ve gotta level with you, Nick. I don’t feel so hot,” she said.
“You don’t look so hot. Last I checked, lips aren’t supposed to be that shade of green.”
“Damn, you figured it out. I’m actually a supermutant.”
“At least you’re a small one.”
Without warning, he lifted her up into his arms. She let her tired hands clutch at his coat as they started on their way.
“Won’t you get worn out, carrying me like this?” She said.
“No, not really. I’ve got arms that won’t quit. One benefit of being a synth.”
“That must be nice.”
“Not as nice as it could be. Sure I don’t have to deal with sore muscles or hangovers, but I’d give that all up just to enjoy one good meal again. You know how many years I’ve been craving a slice of cake? Not a thing I can do about it though.”
“Ugh, don’t mention cake…”
“Sorry,” he chuckled.
It grew easier to breathe as they went. She blinked at the sunlight, pleased that the circles were beginning to fade. Nick looked behind them more than once. Sole’s heart still raced at a painful speed, though now she suspected it was being in Nick’s arms that caused it. She breathed deep the smell of smoke and oil, wondering if she didn’t also pick up a hint of something else.
“Are you wearing cologne?” She asked.
“Well I—I like to keep a little around. Sure smells better than half the stuff in the Commonwealth. I think it makes people like me better, too.”
It’s working on me, Sole thought.
She took another breath, relishing the scent—it was like cedar wood and ocean air. She tried not to think of how much these memories would hurt later. Even now it hurt, stinging the still fresh wounds from her confession. She closed her eyes tight. She wanted to put it all behind her.
“Hey. Sorry about the other day,” she said.
“The other day?”
“When I tried to kiss you. I should have guessed that you didn’t want me to.”
He hesitated for a moment.
“I never said I didn’t want to kiss you,” he said quietly.
Sole’s heart skipped a beat. She looked up at him.
“Wait, you wanted to...?” she said.
“Of course I wanted to. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”
“Don’t make fun of me, Nick.”
“I’m not. Remember when those folks at the Railroad asked you if you would die for a synth? You said yes without missing a beat. That was the first time I wanted to kiss you. Hasn’t gone away since. God, I just wanted to bend you backwards and really plant one on you.”
“Why didn’t you, then? Why did you push me away?”
He glanced behind them again, then said, “I’ve told you why.”
Her heart sank.
“Jennifer,” she said.
He nodded.
“Sorry. I guess I’m still not over it. Just another old habit I can’t shake.”
She reached up and straightened his tie.
“It’s okay,” she said.
She refused to let the hurt she felt show on her face. He was still her friend, and she’d be damned before she made him feel guilty for something that wasn’t his fault. She admired his loyalty. But that only made everything hurt all the more. She closed her eyes again.
“You’re a good man,” she said.
He slowed his pace to a stop.
“I’m sorry I can’t be what you want,” he said.
Then she felt a soft touch on her brow. With a shock, she realized that he was kissing her.
She drew in a sharp breath.
Then a distant snapping sound met her ears. Nick pulled away, too soon. He looked toward the sound, his eyes intent on a distant ridge. Sole strained to see what held his attention.
“Something’s following us,” he whispered. “Been tailing us for a little while. We should have gotten away from all that noise sooner.”
“What is it?”
He set her down beside a tree, then took the laser rifle from his back.
“I don’t know. I’m going to check it out. Will you be okay here?”
Sole drew the pistol from her hip and nodded. Nick started toward the sound. Seeing him walk directly into uncertain danger sent a stabbing pain through her chest.
“Be careful,” she said, just loud enough for him to hear. “Don’t do anything risky.”
He threw her a smirk.
“Now when have I ever done that?” he said.
He walked cautiously on until he neared the ridge. Sole wondered if her heart would ever get a break. He peered around it, edging closer and closer.
He jolted back. The distorted sound of energy blasts echoed through the trees. Flashes of red light illuminated him as he fired the laser rifle again and again. Then came a howling roar that chilled Sole’s blood.
She watched in horror as a Deathclaw vaulted over the ridge. She wanted to call out to Nick, to tell him to run. But she knew that a distraction could be fatal, and she bit her tongue until it bled.
Nick continued to spray the monster with shots while he backed away, his steps sure. The Deathclaw darted side to side, searching for a way around the blasts. It guarded its face with its gigantic talons.
The blasts stopped. Time seemed to slow. Nick struggled to reload the gun. The monster lowered its talons and set its eyes on Nick. Sole’s heart froze.
Then everything seemed to happen in an instant.
The Deathclaw batted the gun from Nick’s hands. It sprang on him, pinning him to the ground. The circles returned, hovering not around Sole’s eyes, but the monster’s.
Sole took aim and fired.
The Deathclaw flinched away, howling and clawing at its face. Then it turned to her. Blood streamed from one eye, but the other glared at her with a look that spoke murder.
It stepped toward her.
The pain of an adrenaline rush lanced through her veins. She leapt to her feet and ran. Too soon came the pounding of claws on pavement. The sound drew closer and closer. Sole’s head swam. Her eyes focused on nothing. Her legs threatened to give out. She pushed through the increasing agony, prodded on by the visceral need to run faster, to escape the hunter. To survive.
Yet she knew that she could not keep up the pace; even if she did, the monster would catch up to her eventually. She gripped the pistol with hands that were now numb and made up her mind to turn and fire. She did not get the chance.
Next thing she knew, she was lying face-down in the dirt. The memory of an unbelievable force lingered on her back. Warmth spread across her side. Red flashes colored everything around her. The ground shook as if a boulder had been dropped on it. Then everything went quiet.
A familiar figure stepped into view, laser rifle in hand.
“Don’t worry, it’s dead now,” Nick said.
“...Nick?” she mumbled, “I think it got me.”
She heard his shoes scrape the pavement as he turned to her. He let out a breath.
“Oh no,” he whispered.
“How bad is it?”
“It’s—it’s not so bad,” he said, but his voice was unsteady. “You’re gonna be fine.”
“That’s good,” she muttered.
She could not raise her voice any louder. Nick opened her bag and began searching through it.
“You’ve got some stimpacks in here, right?” he said.
But Sole could not say a thing. Her breathing had slowed almost to nothing, and that was fine by her. The chore took too much work, anyway. She let her eyes fall half-closed.
“Found one—“ he said, then fell silent.
She felt him rubbing her arm, brushing the hair from her face.
“Hey, none of that—stay with me—“ he said, his voice growing desperate. “Please—”
Then the stimpack’s needle slipped painlessly under her skin. She almost didn’t notice. Nick was saying something to her, but she couldn’t sort out the words. Darkness overwhelmed her eyes. All Sole could hear was Nick’s frantic voice. Then nothing.