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Impossible

Summary:

Hiccup does not think about these things. After all, these are impossible things. Things that could never happen.

Instead, he chooses to think about the weather. That’s a good idea. Except it really isn’t, because it’s sunny out and the sky is clear and everything seems a little too bright and it’s making his headache worse and why is it even sunny out? It’s winter. It’s sunny out and it’s winter and that’s strange as well, but Hiccup doesn’t complain. He’s missing a leg.

-OR-

Everything is feeling a little fuzzy for Hiccup, and he's not sure why. He's also not sure how to handle the fact that he now has a prosthetic foot.

Notes:

Howdy! This is my first ever time writing a fic, so I hope it's at least decent. I got hyperfixated on HTTYD again, and I couldn't stop thinking about how Hiccup was DEFINITELY disassociating at the end of the first movie there. I'm not confident he doesn't still have a concussion. Eventually, it became a fic! So that just sorta. Happened. I was also listening to the movie soundtrack on repeat while writing this.

On to the content!

Chapter Text

   The first thing Hiccup notices is pain. His entire body throbs with a dull ache, and worst of all is his head. It feels like someone dropped a Gronckle on him.

 

   The first thing Hiccup processes is Toothless.

 

   The second thing Hiccup processes is that he’s in his house.

 

   With Toothless. In his house. Toothless is in his house.

 

   The next thing he processes is more pain as Toothless steps directly on his stomach w h y- as he bounds around the house, knocking things over and climbing on the rafters and all Hiccup can process is panic and confusion as he gets up to-

 

   Gets up… to….

 

   Everything comes to a sudden halt as he notices it.

 

   He’s missing a leg.

 

   Hiccup is missing a leg. In the place where his leg is supposed to be. There’s a prosthetic there. Why hadn’t he noticed it? It probably has something to do with the fact that his head feels stuffed with wool.

 

   He’s missing a leg, and Toothless is here. In his house. Where he is. Where his leg isn’t. Where it really should be.

 

   Hiccup is missing a leg.

 

   He looks at Toothless, who is in his house. Toothless looks at him. In his house. Hiccup looks back down at his missing leg, which is not in his house.

 

   Hiccup chooses not to think about these things.

   

   They both get up, Hiccup slowly hobbling his way to the door to open it and-

 

   He slams the door shut. There was a dragon out there. It made eye contact, but the fear was oddly muted. Raid, he thinks. That’s probably an important thing. He tells Toothless to stay inside, because he can’t imagine losing him, and slips out.

 

   Outside the door is not a dragon raid, which is strange. What’s stranger is that instead, there are people outside. People with dragons. Dragons and people. People who are not attacking dragons.

 

   His father is there, too. When did that happen? He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t have time to wonder because his father says he’s proud of him.

 

   Ah, Hiccup thinks. Clearly, I am dead. His father laughs, and tells him he is not. Had he said that out loud?

 

   His father is proud of him. He’s missing a leg. There are dragons and people around them, and Toothless is here. He’s missing a leg, and his father is proud of him.

 

   Hiccup does not think about these things. After all, these are impossible things. Things that could never happen.

 

   Instead, he chooses to think about the weather. That’s a good idea. Except it really isn’t, because it’s sunny out and the sky is clear and everything seems a little too bright and it’s making his headache worse and why is it even sunny out? It’s winter. It’s sunny out and it’s winter and that’s strange as well, but Hiccup doesn’t complain. He’s missing a leg.

 

   Hiccup is missing a leg, and there are dragons and people and Gobber is here now too, hooray! He’s given up on trying to keep track of people, his mind is busy trying to move through dragon dung.

 

   Gobber hands him a saddle and a tailfin for Toothless that he doesn’t remember making. It’s red. It’s for Toothless, who is here. He doesn’t remember making it. His leg isn’t here. Where is it? Not here.

 

   Hiccup only woke up ten minutes ago, but it simultaneously feels like less than a minute and longer than an hour. There are people and dragons, and the sky is clear. His father is proud of him. He’s missing a leg.

 

   He’s about 90% certain that Loki is messing with him, or that he’s dreaming, because these are all things that could not possibly be real. Like Astrid kissing him. There’s no way in Hel that could happen. He wonders why he’s missing a leg if this is a dream with everything he’s ever wanted. Did he subconsciously not want his leg? That would be strange.

 

   Everything feels a little bit hazy, and now he’s on Toothless’ back. He doesn’t remember getting on, or even putting the saddle and strange red fin on him. He doesn’t remember changing the pedal either, but his missing leg slots in perfectly.

 

   By the time he’s done processing all that, he and his friends are already in the air. His friends are riding dragons. For some reason, that part isn’t as odd as everything else.

 

   What is odd is that they’re in the air, flying, doing Hiccup’s favorite thing in the world, and…. his head still isn’t clear. Everything is still too-much-not-enough. Flying with Toothless is normally the only time he feels happy, excited, alive. But now…. Everything seems. Not. The sun is too bright against the rocks, the wind too sharp against his face. The way the dragons move seem just a little bit too stiff, his friends too relaxed. Even the smooth leather of the saddle feels rough under his hands. The only thing that’s moving right is his missing leg and the strange tailfin, even though those are the most wrong things of them all.

 

   At some point, he realizes that Astrid is talking to him, asking him if he’s okay. Toothless seems worried too. He tells her that no, he doesn’t think he is.

 

  His head is pounding, and his face feels wet even though the sky is clear and it’s not raining. That doesn’t make sense. If this is a dream, then it’s quickly becoming a nightmare, because he’s having trouble breathing. He’d think the wind was stealing his breath, but they’ve all landed when he wasn’t looking.

 

   They’re on the docks now, and everyone has gotten off their dragons except him. Toothless is crooning at him. Astrid has a bucket. Why does she have a bucket? There’s no fire anywhere, and they’re on the docks. He stares at her as she lifts the bucket and then there’s seawater in his face and his eyes are stinging and he’s coughing and

 

   “Why would you do that?” Hiccup coughed as Snotlout thumped him on the back. Ugh.

 

   Astrid came over to him and pushed his bangs out of his face to look at his eyes, before slapping him in the face. Once again, w h y- “Are you with us?”

 

   What?

   “What?”

 

   “You like, totally zoned out dude.” Tuffnut cut in before Astrid could say anything. “It was weird! Astrid had to call your name like five times before you noticed.”

 

   “I…” Hiccup blinked. Did he? He could barely remember landing on the docks. “Yeah… I guess I did. My head has been hurting for a while now…”

 

   Fishlegs and Astrid shared a glance, and the larger stepped forward. “Hiccup, are you sure you’re well enough to be out right now?”

 

   “I mean, he was able to make the tailfin thingy work.” Snotlout shrugged. “Hiccup’s always been spacey, how bad could it be?”

 

   Hiccup shook his head, which really only made his headache worse, and slid out of the saddle. “I’m fine, I’m fine. At least, I think I-“ The world suddenly tilted around him, and strong arms caught him as his vision flickered. It was Astrid holding him up. “Woah. Okay. I, uh…. Scratch what I just said. I think I’m gonna throw up.”

 

   “Yeah, I thought so.” Astrid hauled him back onto Toothless’ back and put the bucket in his lap. “You guys go ahead, I’ll make sure he gets home.”

 

   “I can get home fine on my own you know.” Hiccup mumbled as they began walking, despite very much not wanting that with the way his stomach was rolling.

 

   “You can barely walk straight.” She retorted, opting to walk alongside Toothless instead of ride the Deadly Nadder.

   Oh, right. He had a prosthetic now. That was going to take some getting used to for sure.

 

   Wait.

 

   Why did he have a prosthetic?

 

   “What happened to my leg, anyways? The last thing I remember is fighting the queen, and then we were falling, and….” He trailed off. He could remember reaching out for Toothless, filled with a terror he’d never felt before, because he knew that Toothless could die falling from that high up with no control. He remembered searing heat, and desperation, and then…. Nothing. He rested a shaky hand on Toothless’ head. He never wanted to come that close to losing him ever again.

 

   Astrid winced, like she hadn’t meant to bring that up. “We don’t know. We just know that Toothless managed to save you. Everyone thought you had died, until your dad found you two.”

 

   His dad had found them? He didn’t even want to think about what that would look like. He didn’t want to imagine the fear in his father’s eyes. He decided to distract himself. “And the dragons? What happened there?” He really didn’t have the energy to elaborate beyond that, but Astrid seemed to understand.

 

   “Everyone was pretty nervous about them at first, but we’ve been trying to show them that it’s okay. The dragons have been nervous too, but seeing us flying around with them and seeing Toothless take care of you has helped a lot. They’re not attacking wild dragons on sight anymore, at least.” She scratched the Nadder’s head as they approached his house, climbing on.

 

   “You go get some rest, I’ll let your dad and Gothi know what happened.” She shot him a look from the back of the Nadder. “And no going to the forge either, I’ll tell Gobber not to let you in.”

 

   Hiccup managed a tired smile, holding up his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright, I’ll stay in. Thanks Astrid.”

 

   She squinted at him suspiciously. “Toothless,” she said. “Make sure he stays in bed.” Toothless chuffed in response, and Astrid smirked at Hiccup’s mildly betrayed look before taking off.

 

  Hiccup sighed as they went inside. He’d only woken up maybe an hour ago, but all he wanted to do was curl up with Toothless and sleep for days. He regarded the prosthetic as he settled down against the Nightfury. Should he…. Take it off? Logically, he knew that he probably should. Except… he wasn’t ready to see what wasn’t there. He’d leave it on for now, it could be dealt with later.

 

   The last things Hiccup processed as he fell asleep were Toothless’ warm wings wrapped around him, and the deep purring in the dragon’s chest.