Chapter Text
“David…”
“David?”
David startled, looking back from the window and the backyard and into his warmly lit dining room where his mother-in-law was looking at him with concern.
“Hmm?” Oh, sorry, Marcy. I was lost in my head,” he said, shaking it a bit as if to clear it.
“It’s okay, dear,” She said smiling. “I was just letting you know, we’re heading out. See you tomorrow?”
“Sounds good.”
As she started to turn, he couldn’t help but ask again. “Are you sure you two don’t want to stay here? Patrick and I don’t mind at all. You did so much to get here.”
She walked back to him and put her hand on his shoulder. “Oh, we know. But I remember having a breaking point when my parents or in-laws would stay at my house too long and that was in normal days. You need space. The motel is fine.”
“But you were already cooped up there to quarantine…” he started to protest.
“David, we were happy to,” Marcy said, patting his cheek. “We’re good. And we’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
Patrick came in to see her out as David went back to looking out the window towards the fields behind the house. He felt guilty not showing more emotion at Marcy and Clint joining them in Schitt’s Creek for the winter. He was so grateful to have them here. He was just tired...tired and afraid that if he let just a little more emotion out, it would all spill out in messy waves that he couldn’t control.
And he needed to hang on to this last shred of control in this uncontrollable time.
Patrick returned to the dining room with a quiet smile for David. Everything was so quiet these days. He didn’t know why but he missed the loud and raucous nature of this town and of their life now that they were home more days than not. The quiet seemed to exhaust him.
“I might lay down for a minute...my head is...something,” he said, hands reaching for Patrick as always.
“Okay, David,” Patrick said, knowing it was more than that. He ran his hand up and down David’s back and helped him up from the window seat. “Go, rest.”
*****
David startled at the sudden beam of light from the hall that crossed over him on the bed. He hadn’t fallen asleep. Yet, he wasn’t sure if it had been minutes or hours since he left Patrick downstairs. His husband padded across the room and slid under the covers wordlessly, reaching an arm out around David. He didn’t say anything, just held on—still exactly what David needed even when David didn’t know himself.
They were quiet for several minutes before David sighed. He didn’t know how to talk about these complicated feelings. Patrick continued to wait, knowing he needed to do this on his own in his own time.
“It’s not that I’m not happy your parents are here,” he began, voice going high with worry. “I am so happy...I just…”
“Hey," Patrick interrupted. "I know that. They know that.”
David still tried to hold it all back lest it overwhelms him.
“David,” Patrick said so softly and so full of love and understanding.
Just hearing his name like that somehow allowed him to let go. He let out a loud, broken sob as Patrick tightened his hold, pushing his face into David’s neck, just breathing for the two of them.
He didn’t try to placate him or tell him it would be okay. They didn’t know if that was true so why lie? He just held tight and murmured comforting words to let David know he was not alone.
He was not alone but there was a gaping hole where the rest of his family should be.
“They’re fine. I know they are fine. I don’t….I don’t know why I’m like this. I can’t…”
“Hey,” Patrick soothed. “Just because they are safe doesn’t mean you can’t want them here. Can’t be concerned.”
“If, if I could just see them. Then I would worry less. What if I can’t get to them?” This was David’s biggest concern. He’d always been able to get there if needed.
“I know. I know.” Patrick didn’t have anything to add because there was nothing to add...nothing they could do. A whole country separated them. He couldn’t provide any answers because there weren’t any to give these days. But maybe this was enough for now. Just saying it out loud, knowing the worry was not his alone.
“I just want them.”
Patrick held on even tighter. They’d missed Marcy and Clint but they’d always been a car ride away in all this if needed. And now they’d decided to pod with David and Patrick for the foreseeable future since they could work from anywhere.
“I know nothing fixes this,” Patrick whispered close. “But they are all together, your parents and Alexis. They’re all being careful. It’s all we can have right now, but it is something.”
David took a deep breath. It was true—just hearing those words made something loosen. They were safe together. Alexis had gone to LA just as soon as this had all started. Still…
“I’m homesick.”
“I know, baby.”
“This is home but…” David couldn’t say anymore.
“Part of it’s missing.”
“Yes. It’s too quiet. We should all be fighting, stuck together,” he said as he tried to wipe his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m homesick for the feeling of being embarrassed by how crazy your mom and dad would think my family is if we were all here together. Like can you even imagine?”
Patrick laughed. “We are going to have so many years ahead of us for that to happen, David. We just have to get through this.”
“We can do that, right?” David asked. Deep down he knew that they could but just this once he needed someone else—needed Patrick—to tell him they could weather this storm.
“The Rose family can do anything they set their minds to, so this isn’t any different,” Patrick said confidently. “You can do this.”
David turned over and faced Patrick. “We can do this.”
Maybe he just needed to keep telling himself that. And continue to let Patrick help him remember it.
“Do you think we could talk your parents into at least staying here around Christmas? As someone who has lived in that motel, no one should have to stay there longer than a few days at a time.”
“I’m sure we can talk them into it or at least look for an Airbnb or something for the next couple of months. Especially, if you sweet talk my mom since you’re her favorite.”
“I can’t help if I'm beloved,” David sniffed haughtily, playing into their familiar game.
“Now, if we facetime your parents and Alexis during dinner tomorrow, I’m sure we can almost reach peak Rose family hysteria to start to prepare my parents for the future.”
David kissed the side of Patrick’s head, “I know you’re joking but desensitizing them now may be our best bet for a happy future.”
“Okay, David.”