Work Text:
"I know you don't have time right now and all and I'm really sorry for what I'm about to say.."
Sans gripped the phone just a tad tighter than before.
"..but I kinda have to get it out. I really don't mean to make you feel bad or to manipulate you into doing anything.."
He let out a disbelieving guffaw. You? Manipulating? You were about the least qualified to do such a disgraceful act like manipulating.
"Ugh, I'm rambling again. I'm sorry. It's—"
Even now, he could hear clear as day that you were being genuine. The many apologies might seemed to be laid on thick, but he knew that's just the way you are - apologetic, sweet and genuine. And even if you tried to lie, you were way too easy to read. He could catch any and all of your lies, no matter how white or little.
He'd known you for years, after all.
Since you two of you were old enough to hate sports in school, sick of childishly running around and expending energy that you didn't have anymore.
That's something he had always loved about spending time with you: He never had to put in special effort or energy into being with you. It was just that easy.
Easy to read you, easy to get to know you, easy to talk to you and even to listen to you—
Speaking of— "fuck! no, no, no!" Sans didn't realize he'd totally missed precious seconds of your sweet voice, talking to him. Just for him.
"—feel bad and you know I can't stand knowing you don't know that I'm sorry." Another sigh. "Anyways, I'm gonna get to the point now, don't worry."
He could hear the self-deprecating smile in your voice. Even though he didn't like knowing how insecure you still were, the idea of your smile made him smile.
Looks like he didn't miss out on too much context then.
"I.. This is gonna sound stupid, but I've been having a really hard thinking about you.."
What?
"Like-! That came out wrong, I mean- I mean!!!"
Sans pulled anxiously at his collar, trying to figure out what you meant by that.
Were you getting tired of him already?
He heared you taking a deep breath.
"I just.." Your voice broke down into a pathetic quiver.
"I really, really miss you.."
Fuck, if that didn't make Sans' soul throb painfully.
"miss you too, sweetheart.."
"And I'm scared! I'm really scared.."
Scared of what? That he's not missing you too? Sans laughed deliriously at the thought. He'd been thinking about nothing but you.
What lies could you possibly be telling yourself right now?
He wished you were close by, so he could pop in, take a quick look at you, beautiful and pretty you, and know just what the hell's going on.
But all he got right now is your voice, playing from his mailbox.
"I know you said you'd never stop feeling how you feel for me but.. what if that's gonna change?"
Dammit, he could practically see the pain in the way your voice cracked.
"I don't want you to.. to catch feelings for someone else.. someone prettier, someone who isn't like this.. Like me."
He growled to himself.
How could you still think that!? He wanted to pound his skull on the wall, he wished you were here so he could show you! Yeah, he would show you so hard that you were..
You were everything to him, really.
"I mean, if you already did then.. Heh, I'd just have made a fool out of myself again. It's fine. I'd be happy for you, really, I would. All I ask is that if it ever happens.. Please let me know."
As if. As if he'd ever do that.. Even if he tried, which he would never do, he couldn't. He couldn't ever move on from you. Why would he, anyway?
He just couldn't. Not with the way you made yourself so comfortable within his soul and his soul comfortable with you.
"I- I'm sorry, all I do is cry into your mailbox for you-!"
Shit, was he tearing up too? Sans didn't want to cry, but hearing your distress and your pain was too much for him.
He cursed himself for leaving enough room for you to be able to believe any of this bullshit.
"For you, for you t-to hear and deal with. You've got so much on your plate already, you don't need to deal with this too, but I- I promise, I just couldn't hold it in anymore.."
He really, genuinely, couldn't care less about work right now. His sweetheart sends him something, he opens it. Sans knew you didn't have a clue, but he longed for you as much as you were apparently longing for him.
How lucky was he to have someone like you?
How come he knew so certainly that you were completely committed to being with him, but you didn't know that he felt exactly the same?
Had he not shown you that enough?
"In case you're still hearing this and, well, not seeing anyone else right now, still committed to me.."
"'course i am.."
"..Wait for me to come home."
Sans wiped away the red blobs of magic furiously, "o'course i will, woman!" He yelled at his phone like you would hear it.
That's probably what you needed right now, you needed to hear that he's still so wrapped around your finger, he couldn't possibly not be. It might be obvious to him, and no matter how hard he had tried to show you before, you needed him to show you as best as he can right now. That no matter if you're thousands of miles away or not, he's still yours and he'll never not be.
"Wait for me, please.."
And he crumbled again.
"It's- it's not for much longer, I swear. I've basically wrapped up most of everything here, I could come home so soon, but I couldn't shake the thought of you already seeing someone else! I- I had to check or at least say something."
He laughed, because he thought it was funny that you thought you needed to convince him.
As if he wasn't going crazy at the thought of you coming back.
"There's.. not really anything else prompting me to go back. Well, except for, y'know.."
He sucked in a breath.
"You."
At this point, he let his tears flow freely.
"But if you don't want me anymore.."
"Well. It's fine."
"no, it's not!" He slammed his bedside table so hard, the lamp fell off of it. "it's not fine! stop! stop saying it's-! it's not! fine!"
He didn't really know what he was talking about anymore. He was full on ugly crying now.
Was it out of empathy for you? Or was it because he so desperately wanted to make you see?
Fuck that, he wanted you to know in every way possible. He wanted you to see it, hear it, feel it, taste it..
"I.. I still really like you. Really, really like you. A stupid, fuckton amount."
Sans' grin widened so much, it hurt. When was the last time he smiled this hard?
"I'm sorry if i'm not doing a good enough job of showing you."
"darn it, woman.."
"You're.. you're the reason I still call it home, you know?"
Surely, you would think he was crazy with the way his tears streamed down his face so continuously, all while wearing this stupid, dopey smile on his face.
"Hehe, I'm gonna look so stupid if you've moved on already, but eh. I tried, right?"
It's exactly what he loves so much about you.. You always try. Always.
"I.. You're amazing. That's all. That's.."
"tha's you." He whispered.
"..That's all I need you to know. I think you're dope."
There you go, being all cute again. "dope." Sans giggled to himself. His hardass brother would shit a brick if he ever got to hear that. Good thing it'll always be reserved just for you.
"It's why I'm so scared to lose you.. You're great. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who sees this amazing, supportive, caring person in you. Not to mention you don't look half bad.. I wouldn't be surprised if some gorgeous lady in the bar tried to lay you."
His magic rushed to his cheeks like it belonged nowhere else.
After all this time, you still made him blush like an idiot. He hated it when others saw it, but he couldn't wait for you to know you still have that effect on him.
"And even if not.. I hope you know that..."
"Someone really adores you."
He let himself fall onto his mattress, a hand covering his ugly crying mug.
"Talk to you soon, I hope...." He didn't want to stop hearing your voice. He didn't want it to end.
"..no.. please..."
You sighed.
"Bye, Sans."
His smile vanished in an instant.
"...i love you... sweetheart...."
Click.