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The bell over the door rang as Jocelyn entered the store, holding a stack of light green flyers. David tried to slide into the store room when he recognized the look on Jocelyn's face, but Patrick put a firm hand on his back and blocked his path.
"Good morning, boys!" Jocelyn said cheerfully. "I was hoping I could leave some of these flyers with you to give to your vendors and customers. This year's Winter Festival is going to have a reindeer decorating contest and local businesses can sponsor and decorate their own reindeer!"
"Wouldn't the SPCA or Dr. Miguel object to people decorating reindeer? And where would you get them? Schitt's Creek is fucking cold but not exactly the North Pole!" David's face scrunched up at the idea of large livestock at the festival.
"Oh, David!" Jocelyn gently laughed at his words. "They're plastic reindeer! Rollie knows a Thornbridge town councillor who ordered life size plastic reindeer for their festival, but the reindeer were only 4 feet tall! The company doesn't want to ship them back, so the councillor gave Rollie a really good deal to take them off his hands. Now we can use them for a fundraiser for Schitt's Creek! Half the proceeds will go toward funding the Winter Festival and the rest towards maintaining the rec centre and its youth programs."
Patrick took the flyers as Jocelyn passed them over. "You said businesses can sponsor a reindeer?" he asked, glancing down at the flyers.
"Right!" Jocelyn replied with a perky smile. "For the entry fee, you get a reindeer to decorate and then for the 3 days and nights of the Winter Festival, your reindeer will be displayed in the Lighted Walk near Town Hall so residents can vote on their favourite!"
Patrick looked at his husband. "David, this sounds like a good idea. We can help the community and get some advertising for the store."
David quickly read one of the flyers over Patrick's shoulder. "Two hundred dollars! For a plastic reindeer! That doesn't match the store's aesthetic at all!"
Jocelyn frowned. "Well, David, you don't have to participate. I was only asking if you could promote the contest to your vendors. You and Patrick talk to a lot of people who might be interested in helping the festival and their business."
Patrick put on his best customer service smile. "Of course, Jocelyn. We'll make sure we hand some out at the store and on our vendor runs. It sounds like a great community event.”
David huffed at Patrick’s words but he felt Patrick's thumb gently rubbing his wrist and kept his additional comments to himself.
"Now, since you are here, did you need any foot cream or applesauce? I hope Roland Jr hasn't grown out of loving it yet!" Patrick pitched to Jocelyn.
David took the chance to go into the back room, holding one of the green flyers. He briefly wondered if Ray had helped Jocelyn print up the promotional material. The flyer outlined the dates and rules for businesses and individuals to follow in a bold Comic Sans font. A small photo of a white reindeer, clearly taken in front of the Schitts' house, was front and centre on the flyer. Plastic! How could Patrick even think that this contest was on brand for Rose Apothecary?
Patrick finished up with Jocelyn and joined David in the back room. "I think we should participate in the contest, David, even if you don't like the materials. It's a good community event, we would be helping the town, and our name will be part of the promotion."
"We already agreed to sponsor an artisan hot chocolate and popcorn booth at the skating night!" David argued.
"You mean the booth where we take 100% of the profits at an event we know will be packed with cold and hungry people? That one was a business decision. This contest is for the community, with the money going towards the festival and the rec centre!"
"You just want to do it so Ronnie knows you helped her rec centre!"
"That's not why!" Patrick paused and honestly assessed his feelings. He gave David an upside down smile. "Okay, maybe that's part of it. I'd be helping out Ronnie's youth programs and you know she must be taking part. It'd be fun to beat her in the contest."
"Absolutely not, Patrick. I've seen how you are when you get all competitive with her and it's not your best look. I'll safely let you do this reindeer thing all on your own and stay out of the way.”
"But you're the creative one in our partnership, David. Are you sure you want me representing Rose Apothecary in a decorating contest?" Patrick placed his hands on David's waist and pulled him closer.
David grimaced. "Fuck no, no, I don't. But I am not helping you with this, and you can't charm me into changing my mind."
Patrick's warm brown eyes gleamed with the challenge, but the bell over the door announced a customer. He raised his pale eyebrows at David, making a silent promise to discuss it later, and left the back room.
***
David knocked on Ray's door, shivering as the wind blew through his long peacoat. If it got any colder, he might actually need to consider wearing the puffy winter jacket Patrick had forced him to accept the year before. At least that jacket was black.
Ray answered the door with a cheery hello and welcomed David in. "It's always so nice to have you here, David! I missed having you over after Patrick moved out. It was so nice to have an excuse to buy extra snacks!"
David made a sound of agreement, keeping his mouth tightly closed. He knew he couldn't argue Ray's point, but did Ray really have to mention David's appetite?
"Patrick asked me to stop by to pick up additional flyers for the Winter Festival?"
"Oh, yes, I have them right through here! I made these flyers on a lovely cranberry paper!"
David followed Ray into his photo studio slash office space. Standing in Ray's photography area was a white plastic reindeer, half covered in what appeared to be Ray's face. David did his best to control his expression but Ray quickly commented.
"David! You noticed my reindeer! I should have thought to cover it before opening the door because now I've ruined the surprise!" Ray stood in front of the lawn ornament, trying to block David's view.
"Hmm, and what surprise is that?" David asked, looking away from the numerous Rays.
"My theme for my reindeer of course! I wouldn't want you stealing my idea for Rose Apothecary!" Ray waggled his finger at David.
David grimaced. "No need to worry, Ray. Patrick's going to be the only one working on the reindeer for the store. I'm concentrating on our skating night booth and other holiday events."
Ray's eyes lit up. "Excellent! Then I can show you what I'm doing!" Ray quickly moved behind the reindeer and gestured at the body. "I'm decoupaging my business cards and brochures onto the reindeer! This contest is supposed to promote our businesses so I thought why not use all of my promotional material!" Ray smiled excitedly, pointing to different areas. "Here I have my photography brochures, and over here I have handouts for Real Deal Real Estate. Next, I'll be putting on my travel agency and closet organization brochures!"
David hummed as he tried to think of something Patrick would say. "You've made a lot of progress, Ray, not that much left to do."
"I know, I started right away. The Christmas tree lot is going to get very busy soon! Will you and Patrick be placing an order for the store and the house?" Ray's voice changed slightly as he moved into his sales pitch.
"I'm sure Patrick will be taking care of that shortly. I should go and let you work on your…reindeer. Can I have the flyers?"
"Oh of course!" Ray grabbed the stack of papers and passed them to David. "Don't forget to remind Patrick about the trees!" Ray called as David went out the door.
***
As David walked into the laundry room, he heard Patrick's frustrated growl from the garage. He knew Patrick was working on decorating his plastic reindeer and debated ignoring the sound or checking on his husband. David slowly opened the door into the garage, wondering how fast he'd regret his decision.
"Honey, are you okay?" David asked, dreading the answer and reminding himself he was a good person.
"No!" Patrick tossed something to the floor and it hit the concrete with a small clang. His plastic reindeer was standing on a tarp, surrounded by small buckets and bags from the craft store in Elmdale. "I'm trying to paint the reindeer brown and the paint isn't sticking at all," he said petulantly.
David sighed. "What kind of paint are you using?"
"It's the tempera paint from the store! I know you said it was excellent quality when we signed the vendor."
David picked up one of the packages off the tarp, ensuring his sweater sleeves didn't approach the wet paint. "You mean the natural paint powder made from organic fruits and vegetables? It's amazing, if you are a crunchy parent worried about your toddler eating their craft supplies. I started looking at these types of products after meeting some of Jocelyn's mommy friends. It's not meant for this, whatever you are doing." David waved his hands at Patrick's art attempt.
"Well, what do I need then?" pouted Patrick.
"I can't believe I'm asking, but what are you trying to do?
"I want to make a Rudolph. I bought the brown paint from the store, red ribbon and jingle bells for a harness, and a battery-operated LED light for a red nose."
David closed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "Okay, I think the easiest thing for you to do is try an exterior spray paint. The hardware store in Elmdale should have it. And if you don't already have one, you are going to need a glue gun to attach all the," David gestured at the bags surrounding Patrick. "Accessories?"
"Do you want to come to the hardware store with me?"
"No, I do not."
"It's next to that dessert cafe, remember?"
"I'll get my coat."
***
David unzipped his black winter coat as he walked into town hall, struggling to juggle the file folder Patrick had given him to bring over. Ronnie raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't get up from her desk to help.
"What do you have there, David?"
"Patrick said we needed to drop this off - some forms for the Winter Festival skating night."
Ronnie reached out and took the folder from David. "Got everything organized for your booth?"
"Yes, it's going to be delightful! 5 different flavours of hot chocolate and 2 kinds of kettle corn. Patrick even got me a portable heater! And I picked up some adorable woven ornaments to decorate the booth."
"How's decorating your reindeer going?"
"Oh, I'm not doing that. Plastic reindeer isn't exactly on brand for me," David said dismissively. "Patrick's participating though, loves to show his community spirit."
"Is it the plastic you don't like?" Ronnie asked. "You can cover it up, you know. I had this idea to use broken tiles and cover the reindeer in a mosaic of sorts, but Hannah vetoed that. We're doing a combined entry so she's covering it in greenery and artificial flowers. Only using tiles for eyes. She originally wanted to use dried flowers but they were kinda fragile considering we have to deliver it to Town Hall."
"Hmmm, like the idea of using more natural elements, but still no. Letting Patrick take this one. He can enjoy the contest part of this all on his own."
"Oh, getting competitive, is he? Well, you can let him know that Lee Construction and Hannah's Florals are ready to kick some Apothecary ass."
"Umm, no. You want to ramp that up, you'll have to do it all by yourself. I'm just going to enjoy my hot chocolate booth, thank you." David waved his arms in Ronnie's direction and walked away.
***
David fumbled with his phone as he tried to pull it out of his jacket pocket before it stopped ringing. He quickly pulled off his glove to answer Alexis's facetime call.
"Why are you calling, Alexis?"
"Ugh, David, you could at least sound happy to talk to me." Alexis flapped her hand at the screen.
"It's the middle of the day! I'm running errands for the store and it's cold and I have my glove off!" David's voice got louder as he started to yell at his sister.
"Calm down, David, this will be quick. I wanted to make sure I have dibs on the guest bedroom when I come for Christmas. I don't want to stay on the pull-out couch for more than a week!"
"Yes, yes, I already promised you the bedroom. Mom and Dad will be in the guest house, Stevie's only planning to stay over Christmas Eve so she's on the couch and the Brewers will only be here for two nights, so they are at the motel. You're still coming for the first night of Hanukkah, right?" David asked, as he continued walking back to the store.
Alexis huffed. "Yes, I booked my ticket for the right date, I know what you're really asking! Be nice to me or I'll forget to pick up the order for sufganiyot and rugelach I promised to bring!"
"You can't forget them!" David begged. "Between hosting the holidays and Patrick's obsession with his dumb little reindeer, I need those treats."
"Patrick's doing the reindeer, David?" Alexis looked confused. "I would have thought you would want full creative control on something representing the store!"
"How do you know about the reindeer!?"
"I'm helping Twyla with her reindeer for the cafe! She's going with a tropical theme, obviously. Flamingos and palm trees and flower garlands. It's a little… eclectic right now, but I can help her focus it down."
"How the hell are you helping Twyla from New York?" David snapped.
"I have experience with this type of thing, David! I helped inspire Ralph Lauren's Faberge Egg, you know!"
David gasped. "You did not! You weren't anywhere near New York during The Big Egg Hunt art project! I saw every last one of those eggs!"
"You don't have to be next to the artist to be involved in the process, David!"
"Okay, then explain to me exactly how you inspired Ralph to design an egg wearing cowboy clothes and a giant handlebar mustache! I remember that egg because I hated it!"
"I was going through a Cowgirl Chic phase! Stavros had just bought a ranch in Australia!" Alexis flipped her hair towards the screen. "At least I'm helping Twyla! You probably don't want to help Patrick because you don't think you could achieve your vision with a Christmas decoration!"
David slumped against the store's exterior wall. Talking to his sister could be so exhausting. At least he didn't have to worry about damaging his coat.
Alexis's eyes widened in shock. "David," she nearly whispered. "What are you wearing?"
David quickly moved the phone so only his face was showing. He sighed. "It's a parka. My Tom Ford cashmere coat wasn't warm enough. Patrick bought me this from The Bay."
"David…" Alexis trailed off sadly.
"It's really warm, okay! And kind of cozy! And I don't want to talk about it!" David hung up the call and stomped back to the store.
***
The motel office door smacked David's back as the wind slammed it shut behind him. Stevie was sitting on the couch, a white reindeer lying half on the coffee table and half on her lap.
"I thought it would be too cold for you to leave your winter cave today," Stevie said dryly.
"I had to leave the house. Patrick is still grumbling as he works on that fucking reindeer and I thought I'd be safe here. Instead, I've been ambushed by another one! What the fuck are you doing?" David asked, shocked.
Stevie sighed. "Your dad called. I guess Alexis must have told him about the decorating contest? She's apparently helping Twyla? I told him I was sure it was too late to sign up, but he called Roland and they had two left. He even arranged to have Mutt drop it off!" Stevie slunk down further on the couch and rested her head on the back.
She rolled her eyes in David's direction and sat up, clearly coming up with an idea. "Hey, if Patrick is doing the Apothecary reindeer, why don't you do the Rose part of the Rosebud Motel reindeer?"
"Yeah, that's not how this works." David said derisively. "We sell you soap and lotion, not provide decorating labour." David looked at the red and black flannel shirts piled on the coffee table. "What… theme are you going for here?"
"Theme? Theme? Things you can find in a motel, I guess? I'm using some old flannel shirts I had in the office and Nana Budd's Mardi Gras beads to make it festive." Stevie looked down at her barely started project. "Your dad's going to hate it."
David smirked. "Just tell him he doesn't understand your vision. I've used that before."
"Oh yeah? And what would your vision be for one of these reindeer?" Stevie asked, as she pushed the plastic statue to the floor.
David tossed one of the flannel shirts onto the floor and dropped his puffy coat into the empty space on the coffee table. Stevie laughed. "I think that shirt was Jake's."
David sat down next to her, shaking his head. "I told you. Plastic lawn ornaments are too off brand for me."
Stevie pulled a joint from her shirt pocket. "Bullshit. You've been watching Patrick and now me struggle with these damn things. Come smoke with me and tell me the correct way to do it."
"Deal," David said, grabbing the joint from her hands.
***
David reviewed his bullet journal pages for the week and checked off a few items. He needed to feel organized for the holidays before Alexis and his parents brought chaos with them. David heard Patrick calling him from the laundry room and debated pretending he couldn't hear him. He slowly slid off the kitchen bar stool and told Patrick he was coming.
Patrick held open the garage door, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet with excitement. "I finished my reindeer, David! I really want you to see it before I take it to Town Hall."
David followed Patrick into the garage, reminding himself to be a good, supportive husband.
"So, what do you think?" Patrick asked eagerly.
David walked around the reindeer. The brown paint covered the white plastic but was unevenly applied in areas where Patrick had been learning how to handle a spray nozzle. The red ribbon was straight across the chest and sides, with silver bells glued into place at even intervals. A red light blinked obnoxiously on the deer's nose.
David smiled nervously at Patrick. "You stayed exactly on theme! It's very Christmassy and very obviously Rudolph. I'm very proud of how hard you worked on this."
Patrick looked at David suspiciously. "No other comments?"
"No, no, you've done a great job! You were very determined." David’s voice rose in pitch as Patrick stared at him.
"David. What aren't you saying?" Patrick came in closer to David, placing his hands on David's waist and looking into David's dark brown eyes.
David sighed. "I have to tell you something."
Patrick braced himself for a critical review.
"Actually, I have to show you something. Come with me," David continued.
David tugged Patrick by the hand, through the laundry room and into the kitchen. He grabbed the keys by the back door and they ran across to the guest house, the cold wind blowing between the buildings and biting at their skin. David quickly opened the door and they jumped into the heated kitchenette.
Patrick's jaw dropped. In the middle of the floor stood a four foot tall reindeer, the antlers wrapped in cedar branches with the body covered in tree bark and wood shavings. The different textures and shades gave it a variegated fur coat look, almost resembling a wild reindeer with mossy green antlers.
"When? How? You told me?" Patrick stammered.
"I know and I'm sorry!" David moaned. "I really didn't intend to! But then Alexis told me I couldn't do one and Stevie goaded me into telling her my vision and we got high and then," David frantically tried to explain, dropping Patrick's hand to wave his arms.
"Oh, you and Stevie got high." Patrick gave David an upside-down smile and captured his waving hands. "Say no more. I still have the first voicemails you ever left me."
David pursed his lips to stop the answering smile he could feel forming on his face. "I am sorry. I told you I wouldn't help you and then I did all this."
Patrick looked at the reindeer again. "How did you do it? It's amazing."
"Umm, I ran into Roland after getting high with Stevie and somehow agreed to take the last reindeer. Then I sourced the greenery from Ray's Christmas tree lot, the wood shavings from Jake's workshop, and the tree bark from Mutt's firewood stand."
"You gathered all these natural materials?"
"I also borrowed rubber gloves from Stevie so I wouldn't have to touch it until I was able to dry it and make sure it was bug free."
"There he is." Patrick smiled again and softly kissed David. "I guess we'll be entering your reindeer for the contest then?" Patrick added as he pulled back.
"No, no!" David shook his head adamantly. "I said you would be doing it on behalf of Rose Apothecary and I'm not going back on my word. I can just enter as an individual. Or even put it under the name of the cottage so that it's not Rose Apothecary vs Rosebud Motel vs David Rose?"
"Whatever you think is best, David. There's no way yours won't be the winner. It's beautiful."
David smiled and pulled his husband closer.
***
Alexis paced at the front of the store, as David finished counting the till. "Come on, David, I can see the lights from here and I want to go look at the displays!"
"Alexis! I told you I had to close up first! Patrick's already over there helping so you can go meet him or just be patient."
"No, I'll wait for you. I'm just excited I made it for the last night of the festival. After the announcement, we're going home, right?"
"Yes, yes, I told you. I have dinner in the slow cooker so it's waiting for us," he said, exasperated.
"And you found Dad's Menorah?"
"Alexis! You know I have everything ready! Just shut up for a minute!" David snapped.
"Ugh, David!" Alexis whined. She took a breath and then said more quietly. "I'm just really happy to be home."
David finished placing the cash bag in the safe, smiling at the wall. He grabbed his black puffy coat, pulling out his gloves and keys from one of the many pockets. As he locked the door behind him, he added, "I'm glad you're here too."
Alexis beamed at him as she jumped over a ridge of snow in her heeled boots. "Let's go find your button."
Alexis led David through the lit paths behind Town Hall, heading towards the covered area for the reindeer displays. There were several canopy tents arranged on both sides of a small stage. Every edge was lined with bright Christmas lights. David cringed at the lack of a harmonious colour scheme, with cool white, warm white, multi-coloured and solid-coloured strings mixed at random.
Even knowing he had purchased the last available reindeer, David was surprised by how many entries there were. He saw reindeer representing Ivan’s bakery, Jake’s furniture business, the vet clinic, Warner Goat Farms and even the Wobbly Elm. The reindeer from Bob’s Garage caused him to momentarily recoil in shock - it was covered in black strapping and shredded rubber tires. Bob might have been aiming for an industrial feel, but it gave off a fetish club vibe instead.
David gratefully wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders once they found him near the stage.
“Good timing - Roland’s just about to start his speech.” Patrick said.
“Ugh, let’s move back then.” David groaned.
“Nope, you should be here when you win.” Patrick said with a confident smile.
Alexis tilted her head. “I don’t know, David, there’s some strong contenders. Ronnie and Hannah’s flower reindeer is very pretty and I love how Heather somehow turned hers into a Swedish goat.”
“Thanks for the support, Alexis.” David said sarcastically.
Patrick quietly distracted David during Roland’s speech by whispering comments into David’s ear and rubbing his thumb under the edge of David’s glove. The closing speech was surprisingly short and suddenly Roland was asking Jocelyn to bring up the envelopes containing the winners.
Alexis clapped excitedly as Ronnie, Hannah, and Heather were announced as the third and second place winners. “Called it, David!” she said, attempting to poke him in the side. “I know what people like.”
Roland opened the last envelope and glanced at the name. “Huh. I really thought Bob’s reindeer would have had this in the bag.” He looked behind him, towards Jocelyn. “You sure you counted this right, hun?” The audience couldn’t hear Jocelyn’s reply, but she clearly gestured for him to continue. “Ok then, I guess the winner is David Rose.” Roland said, shrugging.
Alexis quickly wrapped her arms around both David and Patrick, giving them a tight squeeze before letting go.
“Congratulations, David!” Patrick said, giving David a quick kiss on the cheek.
“I’m sorry I beat you, Patrick.” David apologized.
“No, you’re not.” Patrick smiled.
David smirked. “No, I’m not. Now I can say I beat both you and Ronnie in a contest, and I fully intend on reminding you next time you get all weird and competitive.”
“That’s okay, David. I’m looking forward to you explaining to your dad how you spent your own money to beat both Rose Apothecary and Rosebud Motel in a promotional fundraiser. It’s going to be a great Christmas Eve.”
Alexis laughed at the idea. Even David smiled. In only a few days, his parents, the Brewers, Stevie and his sister would all be at their house for Christmas. David would brag about his win, Marcy and Clint would praise both Patrick and David’s efforts equally, and his mom would make some comment about how the reindeer represented arcadian contentment or its like. David couldn’t wait.