Chapter Text
“Sonic?”
Shadow couldn’t stop himself from chuckling. Rouge hadn’t left him alone since he’d gotten to the apartment. She kept asking the same questions over and over again. The bat couldn’t believe Sonic had baked the cake himself and picked the flowers. Shadow was glad he wasn’t the only one who hadn’t known about Sonic’s love for flowers at least. Omega had been silent. He didn’t seem to have much to add but he didn’t always.
“Yes,” Shadow said. “I already told you that.”
“But…” Rouge said, still unbelieving. “But Sonic? Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“And he asked you out?”
“Well, I guess I did, technically.”
Considering Sonic had chickened out, Shadow thought he deserved the credit. He was the one who had asked.
Rouge made a cooing sound, hugging his arm. He hadn’t told her that Sonic had legged it when Shadow had confirmed it was him. Nor had he said that Sonic had been close to a panic attack. Shadow thought he’d preserve some of the hero’s dignity. Besides, that moment had been personal, between them, something Shadow was sure Sonic wanted no one else to know about. Rouge didn’t need the details. Sonic’s real reaction was for Shadow and Shadow alone.
“Oh, Shadow!” Rouge cooed. “That’s so sweet!”
He pushed her away but he was still smiling. Shadow hadn’t stopped smiling since he’d left Sonic. Which was strange. He’d never felt this giddy before. Something about the hedgehog had seemed to flick some switch in him. It was weird. But he didn’t hate it.
“When’s the date, then?” she asked.
Shadow shook his head. Rouge was still going. He just had to humour her until she got it out of her system. She was so excited that Shadow was actually dating anyone, let alone Sonic. Honestly, Shadow couldn’t believe it himself. Dating had never been on his mind. He hadn’t cared about it. And he’d certainly never thought about Sonic in a romantic way before either. But spending time with Sonic was suddenly the only thing on his mind. It was the gifts, the thought put into them, the pressure Sonic had put on himself. Not to mention, Shadow had seen a completely different side of Sonic. A side he wanted to see more of.
A side that was… sort of cute.
“Tomorrow.”
“That was quick,” Rouge said with a chuckle. “That hedgehog does everything fast, huh?”
Not exactly…
Shadow had a feeling Sonic had liked him for a while. So he’d done this surprisingly slowly. Not to mention, Sonic hadn’t intended for Shadow to find out who’d left the gifts. And even then, certainly not to figure out what the bouquet had meant. And Shadow was the one who’d set up the date anyway. He’d been afraid the hedgehog would back out if they waited any longer. He had that flighty sort of energy about him, one that Shadow had never noticed before. So, hopefully, if everything went well, Sonic would finally relax. Because even as he left, Shadow knew Sonic was still tense.
Who knew the hero was so self conscious?
The rest of the night went by relatively calmly despite Shadow’s busy morning. At the time, finding out who had left the gifts had felt like a chore. But for hours afterwards, Shadow was exhilarated. The quiet meal was exactly what he’d needed to come back down. Omega’s presence was always a welcome edition to Shadow’s day too. The robot operated primarily on logic and did not often speak unless addressed.
So when Rouge started to bug him, the robot would not be moved.
“You’ve been quiet,” Rouge said. “What do you think about this, Omega?”
“MY THOUGHTS ARE IRRELEVANT IF SHADOW IS HAPPY,” the robot droned.
Rouge pouted. Clearly, she’d wanted more of a reaction. Shadow wasn’t exactly sure what she had expected. That was Omega for you.
“But it’s Sonic,” she said. “Don’t you think that’s surprising?”
The robot made a beeping sound. He turned to stare at rouge with his blank red eyes. It was hard to gauge his emotion from his voice or body language, only his words and actions ever let on to how he felt. And Omega did feel. Very strongly.
“A LOGICAL PARTNERSHIP. BOTH ARE EVENLY MATCHED AND TOGETHER THEY WORK FAST AND EFFIECIENTLY. I DO NOT SEE WHAT THERE IS TO QUESTION.”
Though, as a logic machine, sometimes Omega lacked the understanding of complex relationships and emotions. To Omega, Shadow supposed it would make sense. Shadow and Sonic were evenly matched. So far, their race wins were fairly even, most won from luck alone. Where Shadow was physically stronger by a long shot, Sonic made up for it by being more agile. And Sonic’s strength wasn’t something to scoff at by any means. They certainly have worked extremely well together in the past too. So a “partnership” between them would seem really beneficial as a whole to Omega. The robot did not understand a romantic relationship at all. They’d only just gotten him to comprehend what a family was.
While Rouge tried to get something out of Omega, Shadow just sat back and watched them. A dose of familiarity that was comforting. Shadow wondered if he’d stick with Sonic enough to ever have this sort of familiarity with the hero. So far, they hadn’t even gone one a date yet, and they’d barely spoken today as it was, so only time would tell.
There was still a very high chance that it wouldn’t work out. So Shadow had to remind himself not to think too far ahead.
Just get through tomorrow.
The next morning, Shadow found himself taking a trip to the rabbits’ house again. He wanted to thank them both for helping him find out who his mystery gift-giver was. And he was sort of looking to repay Sonic for his efforts. He already knew something he liked, thanks to yesterday. So he was going to try his luck and ask Vanilla and Cream about something way outside of his wheelhouse: flowers.
Shadow knocked on the door, somehow feeling more nervous than he had yesterday. There was a moment’s pause, then the door opened. Cream stood in the entrance, looking up at him with wide hazel eyes. She gave him a bright smile and invited him inside. He accepted the invitation.
“Did you find out who sent the flowers?” Cream asked.
Shadow only nodded, wanting to tell them both at the same time. Cream was hopping beside him as he walked to the kitchen. He could hear Vanilla inside with the clang of dishes and running water. When Shadow walked in, she was by the sink, cleaning up a plate. She greeted him with a dip of the head that Shadow returned. Vanilla offered him a coffee. Once he was settled at the table with his mug, across from the two rabbits, Shadow felt himself calm. He didn’t quite have the same sort of familiarity with them as he did his own team, but Shadow found he was quite comfortable with the rabbits too. Absently, he wondered when that had happened.
“So who was it?” Cream asked again, eagerly.
“It was someone you suggested actually,” Shadow started. “That’s why I wanted to come here; to thank you. I don’t think I would have ever figured it out without your help.”
Vanilla sipped her tea. It was in a little old fashioned floral teacup with it’s own matching saucer. Orange. Shadow was so bad with flowers he couldn’t even tell what was on the mug. But he wanted to learn. He wanted to learn so that, if tonight worked out, he didn’t have to rely on the rabbits to get Sonic flowers. He wanted to be able to recognise them himself.
“Glad we could help,” Vanilla said. “But you still haven’t told us who it was.”
Shadow took a deep breath.
“Sonic.”
Cream’s eyes lit up. Vanilla looked… almost as if she had expected it to begin with. Somehow, she didn’t look surprised. Had Sonic actually spoken to her about it and she’d led Shadow on a wild goose chase with suggesting Amy? But then, she had agreed with Cream that it could have been Sonic. And even then, she’d had that look in her eye. Honestly, considering Sonic’s behaviour, it was very likely that he’d told no one. Maybe, intuitively, she’d just known. The rabbits did know the blue hedgehog much better than he did.
But did they know how nervous he was? It was possible. But it was also just as likely that they didn’t.
“What did you say to him?” Vanilla asked.
She said it calmly. But Shadow could hear a reserved sort of caution in her tone. Figures if she was close with Sonic she’d be concerned for his wellbeing. If Shadow had been harsh on the hero, he could imagine that Vanilla would be upset. Thankfully for them both, he’d been oddly receptive to Sonic’s declaration of his feelings. So there was no need to lie to the rabbit.
Shadow gave them an abridged version of yesterday’s events, just like he’d told to Rouge and Omega last night. All he said was that he’d found Sonic in a field of flowers and asked him about the gifts. Sonic admitted to being the gift-giver and Shadow had asked him out. Short, sweet, and to the point. There was no need to overembellish or share anything too personal. Unlike Rouge, the rabbits did not pry further. It made him seriously wonder if they did know of Sonic’s anxious behaviour. Maybe it really wasn’t a one-off. Or maybe he was just looking too much into it.
“And, well, that’s also why I’m here,” Shadow said, a bit more hesitantly. “We’re going out tonight and… I wanted to give Sonic something back. To say thanks.”
“And you were thinking flowers, I assume?” Vanilla asked.
Read him like a book.
“Yes.”
The rabbits exchanged a look. A silent conversation seemed to pass between them. A nod. Then they turned back to him.
“If you’re looking for suggestions, we have a few.”
They didn’t go overboard with their suggestions, thank Chaos. They gave him descriptions of each flower, the best florists and markets to find them, and of course they gave him their meanings. If Sonic hadn’t been so clearly obsessed with the meanings of flowers, Shadow could have bought any old thing as long as it was pretty. But the meaning was important to him, so Shadow would put in the effort. And the rabbits forbade him from buying a dozen red roses. They said it was too cliché. And, though Sonic would undoubtedly appreciate anything Shadow gave him, it wasn’t special enough. It was almost lazy. Unless he was mixing them with other flowers, he was not allowed to buy red roses.
Their first suggestion was red carnation. A frilly flower that represented gratitude. The red colour specifically would add affection and admiration to the bouquet and show Sonic that he felt the same way. The rabbits showed him a picture and Shadow found the flowers rather pretty.
Next, they said to go with either blue hyacinths or pink hyacinths. The blue meant renewal or new beginnings, to represent a fresh start and a change to their relationship. It seemed appropriate for their situation. But the pink was for new love, which was also very fitting. Shadow asked if he could include both. Vanilla said it wouldn’t hurt. The flowers were odd looking but very distinct, growing in a rod-like formation with several star-shaped flowers.
Then Cream added one more, quietly. One that she lamented would be the hardest to find around this time of year, if he could find one at all. But once he was told, Shadow was going to try his damnedest to find one. He had to, for one massive reason.
“It’s such a shame they don’t grow this time of year,” Cream said with a sigh. “On top of showing gratitude, loyalty and honesty, their Sonic’s favourites.”
And that’s when Shadow knew he was going to have a rough morning. But if sunflowers were Sonic’s favourites, he just had to find one. Just one was all he needed.
But that mission was immediately proving to be a challenge.
The first three flowers were easy enough to procure. He bought a handful of each and together they made a sizable bouquet. He even added a red columbine, as much of an afterthought as Sonic’s addition had seemingly been. Still, it was fitting. But looking at it, he knew in his heart that it wouldn’t be complete without a sunflower. He spent three hours searching online for local markets in the area. Then he expanded his search to further out. Then further. Rouge stopped by just when he was starting to give up.
She invited herself in, really. Which was not unusual. But that meant she wasn’t prepared to see Shadow looking frustrated and almost frantic when she walked into the living room.
“Hey handsome, you never told me where you guys were going lat-” Rouge said, cutting herself off when she saw him. “Woah... Something the matter?”
Shadow turned to her, groaning. He gestured at the coffee table where he’d left the flowers he’d bought. They were propped up against the vase of his own, wrapped in a red wax-coated paper and looking a little sparse in comparison. The wrapping wasn’t as pretty either; he had no idea what he was doing so he’d asked one of the florists he’d visited. It was basic though decent. But he knew they’d look so much better with a chaos damn sunflower.
“I wanted to get those for Sonic,” he started.
“Well, it seems like you got them,” Rouge said. “Pretty bouquet too. So what’s the problem, hon?”
Shadow huffed. He folded his arms, setting the laptop he’d been using aside. Rouge, sensing this was important, settled on the arm of the settee beside him, one leg crossed over the other. She had that open look on her face, the one that openly stated I’m here for you. And Shadow needed that right now, he really did. Because he just wanted this night to go well. Perfect was a stretch and basically impossible; he just needed it to be enough. Still, it took a lot of doing to get to that point.
“The problem is, there’s one missing,” he growled.
“What do you mean?” Rouge asked.
“I’m trying to find Sonic’s favourite flower, but they don’t really grow this time of year.”
Rouge didn’t mock him for the attention to detail he was putting into the bouquet. She didn’t laugh at his insistence that the issue was an issue. She knew him well enough to know that this meant a lot to him. She hummed instead, looking entirely serious.
“Hmm, that is a problem. Any way I can help?”
And then, they were both at it. Shadow was on his laptop, Rouge on her communicator. Shadow had forgotten that they could connect to the internet; those devices really were amazing. They worked in silence, just like they did when they had to fill out reports for G.U.N. Shadow was accustomed to this silence too. It just felt right with Rouge. Everything felt right with the bat now. It had taken some getting used to, and Chaos did she annoy him sometimes, but he did love her. Like a sister. Would he get the same sort of experience with Sonic? The hedgehog could certainly annoy him, but he did like Sonic’s company. The question was, did he like his company enough to spend long stretches of time with him? That remained to be seen.
They searched another hour and a half before Rouge suddenly sat up straighter on the arm of the settee. Shadow’s ears perked forwards. Had she found something? Rouge was quiet for a moment as she read through something. Shadow was starting to lose his patience by the time she piped up.
“There’s a little independent florist in Metropolis who specialises in out of season and rare flowers,” she said. “He doesn’t say if he has sunflowers specifically, but its worth a shot.”
The moment Shadow had the address, he took out his Emerald and Chaos Controlled there. The street outside clearly had very low foot traffic and the storefront was small and not very showy. But the window was full of colourful flowers, so Shadow knew he had the right spot. No wonder he couldn’t find it online. He read the sign just to be sure: Botanical Bounds. The words were painted out in vine-like lettering, petals swirling around each one. This was definitely the place. And as luck would have it, they were open. He pushed open the door, ear flicking at the tinkling of the bell.
Immediately, Shadow was hit with a strong floral scent that perfumed the air. There were flowers coming out of various baskets and planters. Purples, reds, blues, oranges, yellows, pinks and whites filled the whole shop in a disorienting but still somehow pleasing array of plants. Glancing around, Shadow couldn’t see the large yellow petals or deep brown centre that defined the sunflower. A few times, he snapped his head around to look at a yellow flower he’d caught out the corner of his eyes. But not a single one matched the description of the iconic flower. His spirits, having been lifted by finding the shop, dipped low again.
“Can I help you, sir?”
Shadow turned to the counter. An old sheepdog with a thick greying moustache stood by the till. His pink eyes were gentle and warm, voice just as smooth. Shadow could see his tail swishing idly. He had a green apron on with matching gloves. Shadow closed the distance to the counter and sighed.
“I don’t suppose you have any sunflowers?” Shadow asked.
The dog took out a pair of glasses from his apron pocket. He glanced around for a moment. Then he hummed, rubbing his chin.
“Not out on the floor…”
Shadow deflated. It must have been obvious because the sheepdog noticed. He frowned, drumming his finger along the counter. He flicked through a pile of papers beside the till, eyes scanning the pages with great care. They must have been stocklists or something. Shadow watched him, wondering if it was rude to just leave. Then the dog suddenly snapped his fingers.
“Hang on, let me go check in the back,” the dog said, disappearing through the door behind him.
Shadow stood there by the counter, still just as disappointed. He appreciated that the man was looking, but he didn’t think he was going to be lucky. The dog was just being nice because he’d must have looked so miserable. But he’d been looking for this damn flower for hours. He’d just have to give Sonic the incomplete bouquet, not like the hedgehog would know. But Shadow would and that’s what bothered him. Sonic deserved that big, yellow flower.
Then the sheepdog came back through to the main room and Shadow perked up considerably. In the man’s hands was a single, large sunflower, its petals immaculate and bright. In his hands, it truly did look like the sun, peeking through the once murky clouds around Shadow. Relief surged through the dark hedgehog upon seeing it.
“I only have the one, I’m afraid,” the old dog said.
“No, it’s perfect, thank you,” Shadow said. “How much?”
The dog set the sunflower down with such a gentle hand. Shadow wondered, watching him, if that was how Sonic handled flowers. He thought back to how he’d found the hero yesterday, where he’d somehow contorted his body to slip between the flowers without disturbing a single one. Curled up under the shade of a tree. Still such a bizarre place to rest. And yet, Shadow found it oddly endearing.
“200 rings,” the man said.
Shadow set down 300 rings anyway, thanked the man, and left. He kept a mental note of the shop. Shadow had a funny feeling he might become a regular there if tonight went well. But finally, he could relax. Honestly, he hadn’t even known that he was tensed up in the first place. He let out a breath.
Just get through today.
When he returned, he triumphantly showed Rouge the sunflower. She applauded him dramatically and he shushed her. Still, he was siling the whole time. Finally, he had it. Shadow slipped the sunflower into the middle of the bouquet, and he was right; it looked complete now. The sunflower really did bring it all together somehow. And Rouge agreed. Once they were done admiring the bouquet, the bat turned to him. Shadow rose a brow at her.
“Now that you’re no longer busy,” she said. “You never told me what you’re doing with Sonic later.”
“Well…”
“Shadow, huh?”
Sonic flicked his ear. He’d only just told Tails about yesterday. He’d been working himself up to it. And it had taken longer than he’d thought to find the words he’d needed. But when Tails found him standing in the kitchen, eyes glued to the clock on the wall, he’d had some questions. And Sonic had thought it a good a time as any to spill the proverbial beans. So he’d told Tails why he’d been baking. Told him about the camera, the flowers. How Shadow had figured out it was him and confronted him about it in the meadow. He’d left off the fact that he’d tried to run away, but he could tell Tails didn’t believe his fabricated version about handling it calmly. There wasn’t really any reason to tell Tails what he already suspected. It was too mortifying to admit.
When Shadow had actually asked him out, he’d felt ecstatic. And a little terrified. But mostly ecstatic. Sonic had known in that moment that everything would be fine.
But now, he was doubting himself again.
“What’s that tone for?” Sonic asked. “You think I’m making a mistake?”
Chaos, was he making a mistake? But he’d liked the dark hedgehog for such a long time. Oh, but he trusted Tails’ judgment so much too. Maybe he should have talked to the fox about it yesterday. But in Sonic’s defence, he didn’t think Shadow would figure out it was him. He still wasn’t entirely sure how Shadow had determined it was him in the first place. Something about Vanilla. Curse his relationship with the rabbits. Was he that obvious? Tails hadn’t known…
“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” Tails said. “I’m just surprised, is all. And now I know why you were so stressed out yesterday. Why didn’t you tell me you liked Shadow like that?”
Sonic sighed, sitting down heavily on the settee. The fox was already perched there, swinging his legs back and forth. After a beat, Tails leaned against him. Sonic shifted his weight to lean into him too. His brother understood him more than anyone else ever would. He really shouldn’t have kept this from the fox.
“I don’t know” Sonic said. “I just… I don’t know.”
“So what are you doing later?”
Sonic froze. He didn’t know what they were doing later. Shadow never said anything in particular. Just to meet him at his house at seven. Were they going to a restaurant? To see a movie? What else did people do when they went on dates? Sonic had no clue. And now his stomach was starting to go all flippy-floppy. What should he wear? Should he wear anything? He didn’t usually. But what if they were going somewhere fancy?
Should he have gotten Shadow something?
“I know that look,” Tails said, pulling him from his spiral momentarily. “Don’t overthink it, bro.”
“He didn’t say where we’re going.”
“It’ll be fine,” Tails insisted calmly.
Sonic tried to listen to his brother, he really did, but the carousel of his thoughts was looping back around again. He stood from the settee, heading for the stairs in a sort of numb panic. His limbs felt all tingly and cold. All of a sudden his stomach was turning ‘round and ‘round like running in a loop-de-loop. But bad. Halfway to the stairs, he paused again in indecision. Tails followed him, frowning. The fox was wringing his hands together in that worried way he got when Sonic was dipping into a fretful spiral.
“Should I wear something?” he asked.
“Sonic, you don’t have to do anything special,” the fox said.
But Sonic was already ascending the stairs. Once he was in his room, Sonic wasted no time in yanking open his wardrobe. He flicked through the few articles of clothing hanging up. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure why he bothered. He knew what was in his wardrobe: two jackets, a handful of jumpers mostly in red and blue with a single orange one, and one graphic tee Amy bought him at some festival a while back that had a chili dog on it. He didn’t own anything else. So why he scanned each one, expecting something else to jump out at him, he didn’t know.
“I don’t own any nice clothes,” Sonic huffed. “What if we’re going somewhere fancy? I’ll look ridiculous.”
“Bro.”
“And my sneakers, I didn’t even think about my sneakers.”
“Sonic.”
“Should I get Shadow flowers again? O-or is that coming on too strong?”
“Sonic!”
He startled. The fox grabbed his arm and pulled him from the wardrobe. Though Sonic could have easily resisted it, he was too frazzled. He went limply, sinking into the mattress when Tails forced him to sit. Tails took his hands and gave them both a light squeeze. Looking into those steadfast baby-blue eyes, Sonic felt himself relax marginally. Still, his ears remained flattened. He didn’t even remember doing that.
After a moment Tails let go of him and stepped away. Sonic’s hands remained hovering for a moment before they fell against his lap. The numb feeling was kicking in again. He sort of wanted his brother to come back. The fox was by his wardrobe now. Unlike Sonic, he didn’t spend too long rooting around. He came back holding an old red jacket. There were white rings around the lower sleeves and just shy of the hemline. It was a little faded now, the white not quite as white as it used to be. It hung a little lower on him than the other jacket and jumpers, the sleeves a little too long. But that was part of what he’d loved so much about it. And the zipper was shaped like a little lightning bolt. If Sonic remembered right, it was from a handmade stall at a market in Spagonia.
The one Tails bought him years ago for Christmas.
Turned out Sonic had bought the fox a light blue one that matched completely by accident earlier the same day. They’d both laughed like crazy when they exchanged them on Christmas morning. To this day, they were still the brothers’ favourite jackets. Tails’ had some oil stains on the cuffs. Sonic had worn his to death too; there was some loose stitching inside the left pocket that he liked to fiddle with and the ends of the sleeves were looking a tad frayed. It didn’t exactly look tidy anymore.
Despite that, Tails draped it around his shoulders, prompting Sonic to pull his arms through the sleeves. Sonic ran his hand over the soft fabric at the edge of the jacket, trying to focus on that instead. He furrowed his brow at the fox.
“Just be yourself, Sonic,” Tails said. “That’s all you have to do tonight, ok?”
“What if Shadow doesn’t like me?” Sonic asked, voice sounding terribly small.
Those blue eyes hardened slightly. For a moment, Sonic almost forgot who was supposed to be the older brother here. It sunk in that he’d let himself freak out in front Tails. Again. Twice in two days. And he felt like such a terrible brother all over again. He seriously couldn’t remember when he’d made Tails grow up so fast to have to watch out for him. The fox was so good at it. Still, Sonic felt awful. It wasn’t the fox’s place to look after him. It was Sonic’s responsibility to look after himself. It was Sonic’s responsibility to look after them both. To look after everyone…
How did Shadow manage to unravel him so completely without even being in the same place? Sonic felt pathetic for allowing this to get to him. But he couldn’t help it. Something about the dark hedgehog just made him feel all jittery. Like bees were buzzing around under his skin.
“Then he’ll have to watch out because I have a lot of sharp tools downstairs,” Tails said matter-of-factly.
“Tails…”
“All you can do is be you, Sonic,” the fox told him. “You can’t stress about every little thing or you’ll make yourself sick. Just you wait, in a couple hours you’ll realise how silly you’ve been.”
Maybe he would. But would he feel silly for worrying about nothing? Or would he feel silly for even going in the first place? For meeting Shadow in a raggedy old jacket? For meeting Shadow in his usual beat up sneakers? For thinking Shadow was serious and not just messing with him? Chaos, he just knew he was going to find some way to embarrass himself. Should he do something with his quills?
“Y-yeah, you’re right,” Sonic forced out. “Sorry.”
Tails shook his head, taking Sonic’s hands once more. This time when the fox squeezed, he squeezed back. Tails smiled.
“Don’t apologise,” Tails said. “Just promise me you’ll have a good time tonight.”
“Ok…”
“If it goes south, call me, alright?”
“I will.”
He tried to calm his heartrate with slow breaths. It wasn’t really working. His ribs hurt. And he felt sort of nauseous. He had to meet Shadow in two hours. The time he had left to futz around was shortening and shortening. It was just now dawning on him that he was actually going on a date with Shadow in two hours. Chaos, two hours…
Maybe the next two hours would feel like an eternity. Maybe they would feel like two seconds. Sonic wasn’t sure which he preferred right now, which one he wanted. At the moment, he was weary enough to still change his mind if he had enough time to dwell on it.
But if the time closed in too much, he really might just throw up.
“Oh, and Sonic?”
“Yeah?”
Tails’ hands found his cheeks. The fox met his eyes and Sonic tried to keep his own gaze level. He couldn’t let the fox see that he was still a mess inside. It wasn’t fair on his brother to have to keep doing this. He had to get a hold of himself, damn it.
“All you have to take is yourself,” Tails whispered. “You already gave Shadow flowers yesterday. Just show up. That’s all you have to do.”
Just show up. Yeah, he could do that. Sonic liked to pretend that he lived in the moment. And for the most part, he really did. But there were certain times, certain situations, where Sonic found it really hard to stick to that mentality. And right now, he couldn’t stop thinking the worst. That Shadow would laugh at him when he showed up at his door. That he’d drop the flowers he’d given him at his feet and stamp on them, stamp on his heart. That all he’d get tonight was mockery. Sonic was putting his heart on the line here. And he was terrified of letting it break. Terrified of what Shadow would do.
Sonic tightened his hands into fists. Claws grazed the skin of his palm through his gloves. He had to drown out that anxious voice inside of him before it consumed him. Before it made him back out of this. Because he really wasn’t far from cancelling on Shadow like a coward. To do this, he had to be in the moment, to take every hour, every minute, every second as they came. He had to not think ahead or second guess every step. He just had to get through today.
Just get through today.
The funny thing was, that was easier said than done.
The next two hours passed rather feverishly. Sonic yo-yoed between panicked to the point of being violently ill and worryingly numb. Somehow, he couldn’t find the middle ground of just calm. Now Tails was sitting with him at the table while he had his head in his hands, leg bouncing. Half from impatience, half stress. There was a cup of chamomile tea in front of him, mostly untouched. It was starting to go cold now. He’d had a few sips when it was first steeped and it had made him feel a little better. And then a wave of nausea hit him and he couldn’t stomach it anymore.
Sonic had fled to the toilet a little while earlier. He’d heaved up nothing but dry air for a full six minutes before the roiling in his stomach had stilled. His whole being felt unsettled and wildly off-kilter. At this point, he just wanted this day to be over. Screw meeting Shadow, he’d rather just go to sleep and forget any of this happened. Just go back to his meaningless crush phase and wallow in the knowledge that Shadow hated him. That was simpler. That was safer.
Because at least then, he was starting from the assumption that it could never be. He wouldn’t have this awful hope. Because despite what Shadow had said yesterday, Sonic couldn’t shake the thought that the dark hedgehog was doing this all to mess with him. And if that was the case, so far Shadow had definitely succeeded.
As the time to leave drew closer, Sonic became increasingly restless. Until, eventually, Sonic decided to just leave. And instead of running to Shadow’s house and showing up far too early, he opted to go on a meandering walk. The goal was to clear his head.
The sun had set around six, so it was dark out already. The clear sky was just settling into a deep navy. The halfmoon was especially bright tonight, lighting his path with silver. Everything always looked so pretty in the moonlight. The cool air was soothing for a little while, though he was glad for the jacket Tails had picked out for him. Sonic still wasn’t sure if it was the best choice but it was too late now. If he had to go back to the house he might have a full on breakdown.
Even though he tried to set his path as wonky as possible, Sonic still caught sight of Shadow’s house ten minutes earlier than he’d wanted to. And because he was stressy still, Sonic picked a tree and climbed about halfway up. From there, he sat, staring at the warm light spilling from the window. The yellowness of it encroached on the silvery night in that way that still sometimes felt oddly foreign to Sonic. It was weird that he sometimes slipped back into that younger mentality, back to when all he’d known was the outside. If he’d been paying attention to when he’d get these feelings, Sonic might have noticed that stress sometimes brought them out more. But it didn’t really matter. It was just a passing thought in the grand scheme of things anyway.
Should he just go knock on the door now? Sonic checked his communicator for the time. 18:57. Was that still early? Maybe he should wait a few minutes more and turn up exactly at seven. Besides, what if Shadow wasn’t ready yet? He should wait.
Sonic managed to hold out for one minute. Then the nausea bubbled up inside him once more. He took deep breaths, staving off the need to go dry heave, eyes glued to the numbers on his communicator screen. Just a little longer. Then he could finally get this over with. Just show up, that’s what Tails had said.
Just get through today.
Nerves shot, Sonic dropped from the branch, landing effortlessly without even thinking about it. He approached the door, hand raised. And like yesterday, he just froze. Sonic had to plant his feet on the doorstep to prevent himself from sprinting as far away as possible. He took deep breaths, trying to force his hand to connect with the wood but always stopping just shy. By the time he managed to shake off the wavering feeling, he was officially two minutes late. Ears threatening to fold, Sonic took another deep breath.
The door opened before he even rapped his knuckles against it. And Sonic tensed all over again, completely unprepared to be faced with the dark hedgehog.
“Shadow.”
Not hi. Not hello. Not even nice to see you. Just… Shadow. So smooth. And not only that, his stupid voice broke halfway through his name. Shadow. And just like that, he’d embarrassed himself barely one second into the night. Tails was right, but for the wrong reason; Sonic did feel silly. Worse than that, he felt downright stupid. And his hand was still raised. Even better. Add that he probably looked just as scared as a deer about to be mowed down by a car, and Sonic was wishing this was all a nightmare that he could wake from. But it wasn’t a nightmare. He was wide awake. The pounding of his heart in his ears confirmed that.
Could Shadow hear it? His hearing was probably super advanced.
“Hello, Sonic.”
The dark hedgehog eyed Sonic’s raised fist with a quirked brow. Sonic coughed awkwardly, lowering his hand perhaps a little too fast. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with his hands. It was never something he’d had to think about before. Coming across as carefree and relaxed was usually so easy for Sonic, even if he didn’t actually feel like that. But right now, around Shadow, Sonic couldn’t seem to do it. He ended up pulling his hands behind his back, one clamped over the wrist of the other. He definitely didn’t fumble that.
“Hello,” Sonic said awkwardly.
There was a moment of stifling silence that seemed to grab Sonic by his temples and squeeze really hard. Perhaps all of his stressing and heaving had brought on a headache or something? As long as it didn’t progress into a migraine, it should be fine. Probably. He was just going to ignore it.
“Would you like to come in?” Shadow asked. “I have something for you before we head off, but I figured you’d rather not bring it with us.”
“Uh, sure,” Sonic said.
He was still rather awkward as he stepped through the door, but also intrigued. Shadow had… gotten something for him? Chaos. Should he have picked up something for Shadow on the way? Now he felt like he really should have. Sonic shouldn’t have listened to Tails on this one.
But also…
“Um… what are we doing, anyway?”