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Adam was running back home, Dog at his side. It had been fun to play with his friends for a bit… but he was grounded, after all. There were rules to those kinds of things, and he had to obey them—or rather, he chose to obey them, which made it even more important to actually get back home before his absence was noticed.
“Hello, Mr Pulsifer!” he called out to Anathema’s boyfriend as he slowed down next to Jasmine cottage.
“Hi, Adam. Running home for dinner?”
Mr Pulsifer was holding some sort of an old box. From Adam’s experience, old boxes had a lot of potential to be interesting. “Yeah. What d’you have there?” he asked, indicating the box.
“Oh, that’s an old book Anathema got.”
“Can I see?”
Mr Pulsifer visibly hesitated; but the longer Adam looked, the more something deep down was telling him the book might be Important. “I guess,” the man finally said. “Just don’t tell Anathema anything you read. She doesn’t want to know what’s inside. Do you promise?”
“I promise,” Adam said solemnly. “I hated it too when Brian watched the Doctor Who special before the rest of us and let the ending slip. Ruined the fun for us. I wouldn’t do that to Anathema.”
“It’s a deal, then,” Mr Pulsifer said, and he let Adam open the box.
As soon as Adam looked at the book, turning the first few pages, he knew what he had to do.
“Can I borrow this?” he asked, all his boyish charm turned on. “I promise to take good care of it and give it back tomorrow morning. And I won’t let anyone else see it.”
Mr Pulsifer clearly wasn’t sure about this. “I don’t know… Anathema does have plans for that book tomorrow. It’s very important to her.”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll have it all read by then.” Adam grinned as he took off in the direction of his home before the man could outright refuse.
As soon as he had the book safely in his room and Dog’s paws properly wiped (Mum did say no paw marks in the house), he went to get the phone. There was a phone number in the contact book that neither of his parents would properly remember putting there. But as a boy who spent a lot of time outside, he had always been taught that it was important to have an emergency number to call if needed.
After a few rings, the phone was finally picked up. “A.Z. Fell and—”
“Mister Aziraphale? This is Adam Young. I think there is a bit of a problem.”
***
The room was empty aside from the stand on which rested the Book of Life. Michael steeled herself for what she was about to do and took a few steps in that direction.
“Hello, Michael.” The voice of the Supreme Archangel made her turn around. “I am really sorry that you felt such steps are necessary,” he said, genuine regret in his voice.
“Aziraphale! That is, Supreme Archangel—”
“Oh, I don’t think there is any need for such fancy titles between us, is there, Archangel Michael?”
“I was just trying to see if the Book of Life was safe, with the Plan about to be set in motion—”
“It is quite safe, yes. Safer than it ever was. It turns out that making just a little edit could turn it from being a physical object to being interwoven into the very fabric of reality. Much better protected that way, don’t you think?”
“You tampered with the Book of Life?”
“I don’t really see it as much tampering. The very spirit of it remained unchanged. And look, I even left a mock-up here, for everyone to look at. I thought it was a nice touch.”
“Yes,” Michael said in the dead voice of someone who just saw their last desperate plan dashed before their eyes. “Nice touch.”
“I’m so glad you think so!”
The way Aziraphale sounded genuinely delighted was honestly chilling, as far as Michael was concerned. She had always viewed the new Supreme Archangel as a naive idealist, too in love with humanity to be effective. She was only now discovering that it might have been a facade.
“You should also be aware,” Aziraphale continued, “that after some evidence of previous unauthorised edits in the Book, the Metatron no longer occupies his previous position. He was demoted and is currently in charge of recording insincere prayers.”
“You can do that?” Michael blurted out before she could think. She braced herself for reproach.
What she was not ready for was a benevolent smile on Aziraphale’s face—the smile of someone who did exactly what it took to achieve the result he wanted. He never acknowledged her question.
“Now that we are talking about staff issues, I believe it’s time for Heaven to leave the Earth project with the Second Coming and move to the next one,” said Aziraphale. “And with the initiative and organisational skill you’re showing, I think you would be perfect as the person in charge of it.”
“New…? New project?”
“Oh yes, I believe it will be quite glorious. There are several uninhabited planets in the universe. The next task for Heaven will be to see to it that they develop life that can grow without direct heavenly or infernal intervention.”
“But it is impossible to ensure life develops a certain way without any miraculous intervention!”
“Ah. That’s why it’s such a challenging project. You could only deal with something like that after proving your competence in Heaven’s previous Plans. I’m sure you’ll do wonderfully. It’ll be an honour to pass the reins to you.”
Now that did give Michael pause. “Pass the reins? Are you stepping down?”
“Semi-retiring. I’ll take Muriel and stay on Earth to see to the satisfying conclusion of the Earth project, but you’ll be in charge of the everyday running of Heaven. I couldn’t think of a better person for the task.”
***
Joshua was making rounds with the pizza box, offering words of comfort to everyone, when a young man jogged towards him with a small dog in tow.
“Hi! Sorry, I meant to be here sooner, but I missed the connection in Oxford because the bus was late as usual. They’re never as reliable as you want them to be.”
Joshua looked at him and frowned. “I see the weight of humanity on you, but also the love for it. I never thought I would meet someone who also feels it like this. But I cannot see your individual troubles. Is the bus connection troubling you?”
“Nah. I mean, unreliable buses are a problem, but that’s why we need to do something to solve that. My friend Pepper wants to study transport and logistics after our A-levels. She hopes she can find a solution to public transport discrimination.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier if there was no such problem? If people didn’t need to struggle with it?”
“I figure that as long as we can do something to improve it, it’s better not to mess with stuff directly and simply work to make the world better. May I?”
The young man reached into the box and took out a slice of pizza. It inexplicably had pineapple on it, and he smiled at Joshua a bit self-consciously.
“Yeah, I know, that’s how I like it. I figure I get it from my biological dad, though he technically is not my dad any longer.” He took a bit of ham from his slice and gave it to his dog. “You know how such things get complicated.”
“I suppose I do. You said you came to see me?”
“Yeah, I thought I would check how you were doing back on Earth. I know it sucks to have all those expectations on you and everyone thinking you should have it all figured out. It’s unfair to place all that burden on one person, if you ask me.”
“It is how it was planned to be.”
”Then it’s not a very good plan, is it? And when you have a bad plan on your hands, the best you can do is to gather a few friends and think of what can be done to improve it.”
“I’m not expected to question the plan. Just follow it.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t question it. You’re human now, yeah? Well, that means you’re free to figure out a better way. Listen, I figure from everything I heard that you never got a break. Would you like to come with me to Tadfield for dinner? You’ll meet my friends, they’re brilliant—and my mum won’t mind if I have one more friend over, and I’m sure my dad would appreciate a carpenter giving him some advice about that gazebo he’s making in the garden. And then we’ll figure it out from there.”
Joshua smiled. “I definitely know how to handle carpentry. The most important thing is to first make sure you give people a solid framework.”
***
“There you are, my dear,” Aziraphale said to the demon currently sprawled on the ground in an alley. “That’s a touch dramatic, don’t you think?”
“Had to make sure they’d all buy it, didn’t I? Heaven and Hell were never exactly subtle.”
“If you insist. I still maintain you’d have been much more comfortable simply staying in our bookshop. You were taking good care of it, I hope?”
“Sure. No book sold, all the taxes filed properly, not a speck of dust in sight. And no, I wouldn’t be more comfortable—it’d make me miss you too much. Besides, with me being here, it was much easier for the rats to reach me. They’ve been keeping their ears to the ground, my rats.”
“If you say so. You could have left some of the dust, you know. Maintains the proper ambience.”
“No, it absolutely doesn’t. Would you being here mean that you’re all done with Heaven?”
“Very nearly so. Everything went according to plan. But I did make myself semi-retired. Wouldn’t want anyone to revisit the previous plan, would we? I have no intention of being back, but they’d still need my approval.”
“What if they go behind your back?”
“And prove to the entire Host that disobedience is an option? Then they’d have an entirely different problem on their hands.”
“Right. Gimme a sec, angel, I need to sober up properly.”
“Please do. You are quite a dreadful sight right now.”
“Appearances, angel, remember? Had to seem harmless. Had I been really this miserable, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d lost the ability to do miracles altogether.” He focussed for a moment. “Nnnygh. That’s never a good feeling. Now, if you excuse me, I need to let my girl know she can stop playing nice and can now free herself. Shouldn’t take long if she goes full Stephen King on Cameron, with his heart issues.”
“Crowley! You can’t just—”
“Allow people to face the consequences of their actions? I’m still a demon, y’know.”
“What I know is that you’re not that kind of demon. Now, come with me—we’re going to win the Bentley back, fair and square.”
“If you insist, angel. And then you’re going to let me take you on a picnic.”
“A picnic? How delightful.”
“Nothing out there stopping us, is there?”
“Indeed it’s not. I foresee many more picnics in our future. And I was thinking of maybe finding some charming little cottage where we could stay when we’re tired of the city?”
“We can absolutely look into getting a cottage. We’ve got all the time in the world to do it, don’t we?”
When they were leaving the casino three minutes later, Aziraphale paused on the threshold, closed his eyes briefly, and nodded in satisfaction.
“Everything all right, angel?”
“Oh yes, quite all right, my dear. I just really didn’t like the way those people were addressing you. How long do you suppose a place like this can stay in business if the prayers of all the gamblers are heard and fulfilled?” He clapped his hands and smiled beatifically. “Now, I believe you promised me a picnic. Shall we get going?”